First campaign DVV playtest 1

Nobody Important: So; Let's start us off with a question.
why are you in the Wild West in the town of Wildrock?
Llamas: Bring it on.
Dread Cartographer .:
rolling 3d6+16
(
6
+
3
+
6
)
+16
=
31
Nicholas Hill: Answered in rundown, ran away from home when told to stop being a lazy bum and get a job and has been wandering aimlessly for adventure in the west ever since
BORIS: Oh, and for the record, BORIS is the sort of talking animal that doesn't talk, he's jsut understood.
Dread Cartographer .: FUCK YEAH CHARACTERS
BORIS: Also, he only does allcaps.
Nobody Important (GM): ((does... does that mean you can't actually speak/understand people?))
Dread Cartographer .: Got lost in the woods, fairy bullshit happened, ended up in wildrock
BORIS: No, he understand in return.
Nobody Important (GM): Okay.
Llamas: That's an excellent question, how did i cross the warzone that is central America and get there?
BORIS: Like Sven
Nicholas Hill: it's sverd
BORIS: No, the reindeer
Llamas: By FLYING?
Nicholas Hill: My first thought was 'Santa had a reindeer named Sven?"
Then I remember frozen
Nanuk-Shash: After the events in my rundown, I went to find american bears in California and my train broke down here.
Nobody Important (GM): Hah.
Nanuk-Shash: and that's where I am now
Nobody Important (GM): alright, sounds good to me.
BORIS: "SO HUNGRY, THIRSTY.....NO FOOD OR WATER....WHY IS THERE NO FOOD OR WATER.....TOWN? MAYBE TOWN HAS FOOD AND WATER....."
Nobody Important (GM): Okay: your character knows or has at least met one character before. Who?
And how?
(no doubling up. We circle now.)
Nanuk-Shash: Also, I guess I'm an american bear, so I was looking for bears from outside the Aurora
Dread Cartographer .: I met Nicholas Hill when I went on holiday to virgina
Nanuk-Shash: was anyone else on the train?
Dread Cartographer .: I believed he tried to con me out of my wallet, but I was to stupid to realize
Sarge: So wait, remind what the party consists of again?
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas is the kind of guy who would steal your wallet and then throw it back at you laughing.
The only significant thing he has ever done is steal his weapons from the local blacksmith as a 'fuck you' to mom &dad.
BORIS: Been wandering the desert for a while.....has anyone else been wandering the desert?
Nobody Important (GM): BORIS the ROBUST BOAR, Dances With Llamas the scientist/hippy bird/monkey, Nicholaus Hill a thrillseeking teen, Nanuk-Shash the Charmbear, and not arthur dent we swear please don't sue us.
Dread Cartographer .: I have
Llamas: Me of course
Nicholas Hill: Technically me too.
Dread Cartographer .: Hey, Archer is a mix of several famous characters
Llamas: So we all met wandering in the desert?
BORIS: Then I ran into/am following whoever hasn't been taken.
Dread Cartographer .: including one who is actually just a person
Nanuk-Shash: I came here on a train
Nicholas Hill: We have 5 people.
Someone needs to be connected to two
Nobody Important (GM): Well, everyone is connected to someone and hopefully has someone connected to them.
Nicholas Hill: Unless everyone is
Nanuk-Shash: Dread, can you please change your name in the options?
BORIS: No, we go in a circle.
Llamas: The spirits told me I would met with two great beasts somewhere around here. But they were extremely vague.
Nicholas Hill: What's the difference between being connected to someone and having been connected to them?
Nobody Important (GM): Think of it as like an arrow.
Boris>Nicholaus>Nanuk>Llamas>Arthur>Boris
Nanuk-Shash: I met Archer on the train here from Virginia that I got on
Nobody Important (GM): Or something like that.
Arthur Pilkerdent: I do not know that Nanuk is a bear
as far as I am concerned, he is just large man who doesn't know how to shave
Nanuk-Shash: Of course you don't, that is a secret I'm waiting to share with those I don't truse
Arthur Pilkerdent: why he doesn't, is none of my business. it doesn't do to pry
Nicholas Hill: So I guess I've been wandering with BORIS for a while in the desert.
Nanuk-Shash: *trust
Nicholas Hill: Totally pointlessly.
And know Arthur from acting like a dick to him when he visited Virginia once.
BORIS: "DAY 8: HUMANS HAVE STILL NOT TRIED TO TURN ME INTO BACON. PERHAPS THEY CAN BE TRUSTED."
Llamas: Until you found some freaky monkey/bird-thing in the desert raving about a meeting with destiny nad restoring the balance or something like that.
Nanuk-Shash: (DAY 8: STILL WAITING TO TURN THE PIG INTO BACON UNTIL HE TRUSTS US)
Llamas: Probably followed it because it looked like it knew where it was going.
Sarge: How have any of you ot died from dehydration
Nobody Important (GM): disney magic.
Sarge: *not
Nicholas Hill: >implying it's possible to be thirsty or hungry for enough time to die in disney
Nobody Important (GM): Also cactuses. And convenient mirages.
Nicholas Hill: The disney gods provide
Llamas: +5 travel, high Int to know which cactus have water in them
BORIS: "BEAR PRETENDING TO BE MAN CANNOT BE TRUSTED. I SEE BACON HUNGRY LOOKS HE GIVE ME WHEN HE THINKS I AM SLEEP."
Archer Pilkerdent: They serve water on trains
Llamas: Also boars have a +3 to forage
Archer Pilkerdent: strangely, no tea though
Nanuk-Shash: I was intrigued by Archer's lectures on this mythical substance of Tea
Nicholas Hill: NOW WE ARE TWO
BORIS: I suppose I'd have +17 to locate food, and depending on how rules lawyery you are +14 or +17 to locate water.
Nobody Important (GM): Alright.
That seems...
BORIS: Survivalist?
Nobody Important (GM): stupid, but we're gonna go with it. We're 2 hours in.
So, you have been wandering through the desert for about a week now after being dumped off a hijacked train.
All of you.
Archer Pilkerdent: This won't do at all
Llamas: I came from the south actually.
Nobody Important (GM): You are tired. Not that thirsty or hungry due to BORIS and Dances With Llama's efforts, but tired.
Fair enough.
Nanuk-Shash: Okay
Nobody Important (GM): Lord is this ever terrible.
Nanuk-Shash: Are we just wandering?
Nobody Important (GM): At long last, you can see in the distance -- a town! Probably.
Nicholas Hill: "Hah! That was bloody brilliant! Did you see how I totally kicked that masked idiot off the train! Magnificent!" Nicholas makes an overelaborate slashing motion forward towards the town.
Nobody Important (GM): It's hard to tell, it could just be a large outcropping of catci.
Archer Pilkerdent: "Oh, than goodness, a town"
"Let's go that way, they might have something to eat"
"That aren't wild tuebers
Nicholas Hill: He's been ranting non-stop about the train for the last two hours.
Archer Pilkerdent: "
Llamas: "Come my friends, our appointment with destiniy awaits, SQUAWK!"
Nanuk-Shash: I go towards it
BORIS: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH TUBERS, TUBERS ARE DELICIOUS AND A GOOD SOURCE OF WATER."
Nanuk-Shash: Nicholas has been visibly wearing down my patience for two hours
Archer Pilkerdent: I choose to ignore that a voice came from both a boar and a monkey bird thing
Nobody Important (GM): It's... still pretty far out. It's about two hours before the actual town is in sight rather than just a long black splotch on the horizon.
BORIS: Not a voice, just a grunt you somehow understood the exact meaning of.
Nobody Important (GM): Actually it's not much of a town to be frank.
It's like
Archer Pilkerdent: Ah, I can deal with that
Nanuk-Shash: [I feel like "I choose to ignore" will be his catchphrase]
Nobody Important (GM): If this were the modern day, it'd be a gas station, a hotel, and a jail.
Archer Pilkerdent: Still good enough for me
Nobody Important (GM): There are maybe six buildings here in total, but you think you can see some farms in the distance. Terrible farms, but hey.
Farms.
BORIS: So gas station would be a place where horses are fed and watered.
Nicholas Hill: ((Is there a bar/saloon?))
Nobody Important (GM): You can tell that one building is a saloon, and another is a 'jail'
the big colorful one with lots of decorations is almost certainly a place of gambling along with the saloon.
Nanuk-Shash: I guess we continue traveling towards it
Archer Pilkerdent: "well, then let's go to the saloon and ask for directions"
Nobody Important (GM): That small squat one is probably a stable, and there appears to be a rent-house or two as well.
Nicholas Hill: "What a wonderful little town here. Let's head inside and see what little treasures it hides!" Nicholas strides into the Saloon.
Nobody Important (GM): People sort of gawk at you when you stumble into town, but the saloon is wide open for you.
BORIS: If there's a place where horses are being fed and watered, I'm going to move in and consume their stuff.
Llamas: "Trust not the words of man! Don't you trust the spirits of the land, man?"
Archer Pilkerdent: "I say, Mr. Hill. You are very excellent at puppetry"
BORIS: Literally a gluttonous pig.
Archer Pilkerdent: "That odd looking fellow sounds just like he's talking for himself."
"Well done."
Nanuk-Shash: I stride in and ask the bartender how are things
Nicholas Hill: "The, uh, flying thing? That I'm not touching?"
Nobody Important (GM): Alright. You shove aside a hurt-looking draft horse and begin eating it's food.
Archer Pilkerdent: "Quite extraordinary
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything to dissuade Archer.
Nobody Important (GM): It snorts at you, winces at your glare, and moves away.
The rest of you stumble into the saloon.
Archer Pilkerdent: (Ooh, fancy)
Llamas: "Disrespect me all you want, soon you will realize you are the puppet, and modern commodities the pullers of strings!" SQUAWWWWK!
Sarge: [Oh shit maps]
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas flares up to the bar, takes a seat and puts his arm onto the barstand.
BORIS: So what's the insight TN to rush to my friends' aid if shit goes down?
Nobody Important (GM): (Not like I was just sitting here doing nothing while people made characters)
Sarge: >inb4 TPK
Nobody Important (GM): Probably TN15 to hear the ruckus.
Nicholas Hill: "Evening there! Mind telling me and my friends about the situation here?" Nicholas speaks loudly and without blockers.
Llamas: (I perch on the shoulder of a random human and take a good look at the room)
Nanuk-Shash: I asked the bartender how things were
Nobody Important (GM): The old bartender in a fairly nice suit is kind of hard to hear over the pianist's inexpert playing. "What, sonny?"
Nicholas Hill: ((What do I even roll for this?))
((Charisma?))
Nobody Important (GM): Charm+Insight, maybe? Charm+Persuasion?
Nicholas Hill:
rolling 3d6+13
(
6
+
2
+
3
)
+13
=
24
Nanuk-Shash: "How are things 'round here, is what he meant to say."
Nicholas Hill: " I SAID, WHAT'S HAPPENING ROUND HERE, OLD MAN?"
Nicholas speaks REALLY loudly.
Archer Pilkerdent: "And a pint of porter, please!"
Nobody Important (GM): People are starting to stare now, including the tough-looking probably thugs in the far corner of the room.
They seem to have isolated themselves from the regular customers.
"I... er, what? I just serve the drinks here. Things are okay, I guess. Wish more trains would make it through, but you know how it is nowadays. Can't do nothin' without paying a toll."
Nicholas Hill: "I'D LIKE A DRINK FOR ME AND EACH OF MY GOOD FRIEND HERE THEN, OLD BOY!"
Nicholas is practically screaming, even though people aren't speaking as loudly.
Archer Pilkerdent: I think I'll start up a chat with the fellow to my right
Nanuk-Shash: "Fair 'nuff,"
I get up and sidle over to the thugs"
Llamas: "Ask him if they have fruit juice".
Archer Pilkerdent: "Hallo, sir"
"Lovely day."
"Trifle warm."
Nobody Important (GM): The bearded, worn old man looks at you. "Oh. A talking monkey. Bit warm, yeah."
Nanuk-Shash: I start to hustle them at pool
Archer Pilkerdent: Oh, don't mind that. Just a puppet
Nobody Important (GM): Alright then. Test me, I dunno, Agility+craft?
Archer Pilkerdent: "Very well done too."
Nobody Important (GM): "Clearly."
Archer Pilkerdent: "So, erm."
Nobody Important (GM): "So what do you need then, Mr. Puppet?"
Archer Pilkerdent: "Just having a friendly chat with the locals"
Llamas: (SQUAWKING) Fruit Juice! CAWWWW! You have papaya?"
Nobody Important (GM): 1
Archer Pilkerdent: "What do you do then?"
"Or are you on holiday?"
Nobody Important (GM): "Yeah, I can tell you aren't from around here. I'm Sam Waters. I used to be sherriff here."
Archer Pilkerdent: "Oh, indeed?"
Nobody Important (GM): He looks a bit grim at that.
Nanuk-Shash: "What is this you're playin' here? Pool? I'm something of a legend where I'm from. I was the best 10-year-old in my neighborhood when we played up in Jonny's house. Haven't played much in the past 15 years, but the game hardly changes, does it?"
Nobody Important (GM): "Ayup. Then Slim came 'round and told me that I wasn't sherriff anymore. Sheriff for twenty years and he just has me kicked out..."
Archer Pilkerdent: "I say. That seems rather unorthodox."
Nobody Important (GM): The men chuckle a bit and let you in on their game, Nanuk. They seem to look forward to taking you down.
Archer Pilkerdent: "Did you take it up with the village council?"
Nobody Important (GM): "A bit, yeah, but he needs to put pet thugs in now that he's in charge. He owns them too, you know."
Nanuk-Shash: ((How should I roll to beat them in pool?))
Archer Pilkerdent: "Oh, I see."
"They shire council then, maybe?"
Nobody Important (GM): ((that's a question, innit? just test me Agility+acrobatics or Agility+craft))
"We don't have none of those round here. sounds english to me."
Archer Pilkerdent: "Oh, you caught me, haha"
"I actually am in a bit of a doosy myself."
Nanuk-Shash:
rolling 3d6+7
(
4
+
4
+
1
)
+7
=
16
Archer Pilkerdent: "I appear to be a bit lost."
Nobody Important (GM): "Oh?" He looks interested.
you're starting to win a bit, Nanuk. They look a bit frustrated.
Archer Pilkerdent: "Yes. You see, I was going out to get a pail of water from the well nearby my cabin."
Nanuk-Shash: "Wow, looks like I'm still decent. I think I'll cut my losses here though."
I go over to the poker game that I see going on
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas saunters over to the pool table, taking a seat to watch and laughing loudly every time one of the Thugs misses a shot.
Archer Pilkerdent: "And on the way back I tripped and stumbled, and when I stood back up, I was on that train I just came in on."
Nobody Important (GM): They deal you in, but look a bit side-eyed.
Archer Pilkerdent: "I just wanted a cup of tea you see."
Nobody Important (GM): 1
"Tea, huh? We don't get much of that round here 'less it's from Virginia."
Nanuk-Shash: I intentionally lose what I had made in pool, but do so in such a way that they think it's just their own skill.
Archer Pilkerdent: "Oh, I've had the tea in Virgina. Nasty stuff. Very salty"
Nanuk-Shash: I'm very friendly while doing this
Nobody Important (GM): "Now, I don't reckon I know well where you're from, but I bet if you want to know there's someone in Vegas or Atlantis that does. That's just my two cents."
Your friendly demeanor is grating on these unwashed, brutish thugs who are used to winning at nearly everything in this podunk little town.
Archer Pilkerdent: "That seems reasonable."
Nanuk-Shash: But I'm letting them win
Nobody Important (GM): Oh, nevermind then.
Archer Pilkerdent: "How might I get to this Vegas?"
Llamas: (I fly toward the interesting part of the bar)
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas walks up to the end of the pool table where Naunk had been standing, cockily stating "I'll bet every last cent on my body I can beat you ruffians where my friend there couldn't. Come on, ladies!"
Nanuk-Shash: I'm just really cheerful about the game, and I ask them what their doing in town
Nobody Important (GM): He scratches his beard. "Dunno. Reckon it's 'bout 200 miles to the west and south."
BORIS: (Boar senses tingling)
Archer Pilkerdent: Goodness. I don't think I could walk that far.
Certainly not in this weather, haha
Nobody Important (GM): One of them smiles. "We're here to keep the peace, and make sure that any outsiders get 'ported to Vegas where they belong. can't have no shadowlanders or me-hi-cans in these parts.
Nicholas Hill: ((Agility+Acrobatics for the pool game?))
Nobody Important (GM): "Well, there are trains if you're fixin to get there in a hurry, but the bandits are always on the lookout for more targets."
((Yes.))
Nicholas Hill:
rolling 4d6k3+16
(
4
+
3
+
2
+
3
)
+16
=
26
Archer Pilkerdent: "Sigh. Always something, isn't it."
"You must know someone who I can complain to about the shoddy railway."
Nanuk-Shash: "Sounds like a fine set of goals. You got any fine animals workin' for ya? I'm lookin' to buy, myself."
Nobody Important (GM): Things are interrupted in the relatively quiet saloon by one of the thugs pulling a gun on Nick. "No one hustled Blue Bart! You're cheatin', boy, and you're gonna get what you deserve!"
Initiative, everyone.
Nicholas Hill: ((YES.))
rolling 4d6k3+11
(
2
+
4
+
3
+
3
)
+11
=
21
Llamas:
rolling 3d6+10
(
2
+
5
+
2
)
+10
=
19
Archer Pilkerdent:
rolling 3d6+10
(
4
+
3
+
6
)
+10
=
23
Nanuk-Shash:
rolling 3d6+7
(
4
+
6
+
1
)
+7
=
18
BORIS: rollan insight
rolling 3d6+14
(
6
+
1
+
1
)
+14
=
22
Nanuk-Shash: ((Damn you nick, I didn't get to win at cards))
Nobody Important (GM): You hear shouting from inside, Boris.
Nicholas Hill: ((Kek.))
BORIS: I'll be charging in by the next round.
init then
rolling 3d6+7
(
3
+
3
+
3
)
+7
=
16
Nobody Important (GM): Sam dives below the table and pulls a six-shooter from... somewhere.
"It ain't a crime to win at cards, Bart!"
"It was pool!" "Whatever, same thing!"
He appears to be struggling to load the gun.
Arthur is up.
Archer Pilkerdent: "I say, now this won't do at all!"
(everybody hold it with sensibility to appeal to reason?)
Nobody Important (GM): Go for it.
Nicholas Hill: ((Aw man, I wanna hit them with a pool shooter.))
Archer Pilkerdent:
rolling 4d6k3+12
(
6
+
2
+
2
+
6
)
+12
=
26
+4
so 30
Nanuk-Shash: ((fuggin murderhobo))
Nobody Important (GM): Bart lowers the gun.
Nicholas Hill: ((it's not murder if they don't die))
Nanuk-Shash: ((fuggin wannabe batman?))
Nobody Important (GM): "Whaddya' want, limey?
I got a cheater to show the rules."
Archer Pilkerdent: "Now, now, that's no way to behave"
"Now I know we're all upset, on account of the heat."
"But surely you musn't draw weapons on account of a little misbehavior like this."
Nicholas Hill: Rollan for stealth.
rolling 4d6k3+15
(
1
+
6
+
3
+
6
)
+15
=
30
Archer Pilkerdent: "Now why don't we just sit down and have a nice pint, shall we?"
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas covertly brandishes his pool shooter, sneaking next to the Thug and raising it above his head.
Nobody Important (GM): Bart puffs out his chest. You can see the glint of delusion in his eyes. "See here, I got a let-ter of markay from slim's secretary hisself that sez we can do what we want to keep the peace. And this cheating dog here...?" He looks around. "Find'm, boys!
BORIS: You freaking violence violence vagrant
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas taps bart on the shoulder, waiting until he turns around to smash him across the face with it.
rolling 4d6k3+16
(
3
+
6
+
5
+
2
)
+16
=
30
Archer Pilkerdent: "Ah, well I may just go to this Marquis and have him write you up-"
Nobody Important (GM): The rest of the thugs giggle but then gawp when you knock him clean out onto the pool table.
Nicholas Hill: "TAKE THAT, YOU THUG! NO ONE CHEATS NICHOLAS HILL!"
Nanuk-Shash: ((doesn't that ability prevent all combat>
?))
Nicholas Hill: ((It can start again though.))
((He just ended combat.))
Nanuk-Shash: ((for a turn))
Nobody Important (GM): ((PC went out of his way to start combat again.))
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas jumps onto the pool table waving his pool shooter around.
Llamas: (and he just brole a pool cue in their leader's face)
Archer Pilkerdent: "No, no this won't do at all!"
Llamas: broke*
Nicholas Hill: His broken pool shooter, at that.
Nanuk-Shash: ((so it doesn't have a murderhobo protection clause?))
Archer Pilkerdent: "Mr. Hill, what are you doing?"
Nobody Important (GM): Nick, you got one more action, I think. you too, Arthur.
BORIS: Does anything other than a paladin have a a murderhobo protection clause?
Nicholas Hill: "I'm just defending myself, Arthur!
Sarge: >
-Everybody Hold It! (Charisma)
+4 bonus to halting a fight already in progress via diplomacy/shouting really loudly. Preventing it from starting up again is, unfortunately, another roll.
Archer Pilkerdent: "You snuck up behind him and rapped him on the head with a stick!"
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas jumps off the table, kicking a Thug across the face as he does so.
Nanuk-Shash: "NO YOU'RE NOT, HE WAS STOPPING THE FIGHT PEACEFULLY"
Nicholas Hill:
rolling 4d6k3+15
(
2
+
2
+
4
+
2
)
+15
=
23
"THIS WAY IS MORE FUN!"
Nobody Important (GM): A pool shooter into the face is very brutal, it turns out.
He's out cold.
Dances, you're up.
Llamas: Okay
Are the guys with hats other thugs?
Nobody Important (GM): Everyone on the left side of the room other than the piano guy is a thug.
Nanuk-Shash: God bless piano guy
Nicholas Hill: ((Even the piano player?))
Llamas: I'm gonna attack the nearest two with LINGUISTICS
Archer Pilkerdent: (He looks so sad though)
Nobody Important (GM): ((He's not a thug.))
((He's tortured. The women around here don't understand his dark soul))
Nanuk-Shash: ((He literally specified him as the only non-thug, so no))
Llamas: Using my mastery of mammalian language I reproduce the cry of the red fox
Nicholas Hill: ((Oh man, I am silly.))
BORIS: Man, you'll find some weird shit if you poke around in the pastebins
Nobody Important (GM): Okay, that should work Llamas
Llamas: Just youtube it, and imagine the effect it could have out of a freaky bird/monkey thing
BORIS: http://pastebin.com/74mv4TkK
Llamas:
rolling 4d6k3+11+3
(
5
+
6
+
4
+
1
)
+11+3
=
29
rolling 4d6k3+11+3
(
1
+
1
+
1
+
2
)
+11+3
=
18
Darn
Nobody Important (GM): Okay. One panics and flees the saloon. The rest seem unimpressed with your impression of 'woman being stabbed to death'.
BORIS: The ravings of a madman.....
Llamas: I'm done then.
Sarge: [Boris what is this]
BORIS: I don't know.....
Nobody Important (GM): ((It is the end of sanity.))
Nanuk is up!
Nicholas Hill: ((Man I just realized that I put the wrong power on my pastebin. Good lord. Lemme change it.))
((http://pastebin.com/D2HZA2Bv))
((Sorry for being retarded.))
Sarge: [Seriously is this a cooking show]
[Who is Upstart and Dissent]
Nanuk-Shash: I announce to the bar: "Y'all motherfuckers must show some respect and sit the fuck down!" ripping off my helmet "or whip your asses raw with my bear hands!"
Nobody Important (GM): ((that's getting censored in post.))
Nanuk-Shash: ((Just revealed my bearriness))
oh
Nobody Important (GM): Roll Intimidate!
Nanuk-Shash:
rolling 4d6k3+9
(
3
+
6
+
3
+
1
)
+9
=
21
+12
sorry
forgot to add my score
Nobody Important (GM): Well, that's fine.
One runs out of the building screaming "A bear! It walks like a man!"
Nanuk-Shash: so 33
Nobody Important (GM): Two then.
Nanuk-Shash:
rolling 4d6k3+9+12
(
4
+
2
+
6
+
1
)
+9+12
=
33
Nobody Important (GM): Poker game is over.
Nanuk-Shash:
rolling 4d6k3+9+12
(
6
+
3
+
6
+
4
)
+9+12
=
37
Nobody Important (GM): Well.
"OH GOD THE BEARS ARE ATTACKING, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE, HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE THE WIVES"
Nanuk-Shash: ((intimidate OP))
Nobody Important (GM): Just in time for Boris to burst in!
Nicholas Hill: ((One thug left for him to trample too.))
Archer Pilkerdent: rolling for endure to ignore bearness
rolling 4d6k3+18
(
1
+
1
+
4
+
5
)
+18
=
28
Bearness ignored
Nobody Important (GM): Good enough.
Nanuk-Shash: I just feel sorry for the thugs
Nobody Important (GM): I don't actually see any thugs up.
Boris bursts in, grunts, and notices that the enemy has been taken care of already.
BORIS: near mister nimble jackass
Nobody Important (GM): him?
He got cuestick'd
Nanuk-Shash: there are 2 though
Nobody Important (GM): They're unconscious
Archer Pilkerdent: "Now, then Mr. Hill, what were you thinking?"
Nobody Important (GM): They got slapped around by a dude with a cue stick
Nicholas Hill: ((Is everyone out?))
Archer Pilkerdent: "That is no way to conduct yourself!"
Nobody Important (GM): ((well, the patrons have gone back to drinking like this happens all the time.))
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas shrugs and kicks the unconcious body of the nearby thug.
"Maybe. It's fun as hell though!"
Llamas: "Sometimes conflict is the way of nature".
Nicholas Hill: He has a huge shit-eating grin on his face.
Archer Pilkerdent: "Hmph. This just won't do at all."
"Well, then. Seeing as how these gentlemen were acting disorderly as well"
"We should go to this Marquis of Slim and file a complaint."
Nanuk-Shash: I walk over to the "Nimble Jackass" as Boris put it
Nobody Important (GM): Sam has gone back to drinking in between trying to load his out-of-date gun with cartridges that don't fit.
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas pokes open Bart's coat, ignoring anything valuable but looking for interesting things.
BORIS: "MIGHT AS WELL LOOK FOR FOODS AS LONG A-IS THAT DELICIOUS VODKA I SMELL?"
Nicholas Hill: ((I am become batmanhobo.))
Nobody Important (GM): The bartender starts. "Um, vodka, yes. one moment."
Archer Pilkerdent: I search for the letter that Bart said he had.
Nobody Important (GM): There's a worn yellowing letter in his coat, along with ~15$.
Nanuk-Shash: I rip away the coat and glare at Batmanhobo
Nicholas Hill: Snag the letter, ignore the money.
Rolling to avoid getting coat ripped away.
Archer Pilkerdent: Best leave the $15
BORIS: "IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE BORIS TASTED DELICIOUS POTATO-BASED LIQUOR."
Nicholas Hill:
rolling 4d6k3+17
(
5
+
3
+
2
+
1
)
+17
=
27
Nanuk-Shash: (what kind of roll is that?)
Nicholas Hill: "Nope, this letter's mine!"
((Agility+Acrobatics, I dunno.))
Nobody Important (GM): It's a letter of Marque entitling the holder of Bart Solomon to banditize, burglarize, and otherwise terrorize the town of Wildrock as he sees fit.
Nanuk-Shash: ((and to take it?))
Archer Pilkerdent: "Why, you give that back!"
Nicholas Hill: ((Agility+Acrobatics/Athletic?))
Nanuk-Shash: fine, he keeps it, and I just take the money
Nicholas Hill: Hill jumps up on the pool table again, rips open the letter, and starts reading.
He's kicking at any party member who gets too close to his feet while reading.
BORIS: Well, you both roleplay the 6 Intelligence very well.
Nicholas Hill: ((But very differently.))
Llamas: I fly over and hover over his head.
Nobody Important (GM): The bartender has fearfully gotten Boris what appears to be a bowl of vodka.
Nanuk-Shash: Mine is actually 5
BORIS: At least Archer has 12 Sensibility.
Llamas: Over over over.
Archer Pilkerdent: I know exactly what must be done
Nanuk-Shash: sorry, 4
BORIS: Cripes, I am the second smartest PC in the party.
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas clears his throat and loudly begins speaking.
Archer Pilkerdent: And I do it to the letter
Nicholas Hill: "Ahem. This letter says that some guy named Slim has the authority to terrorize and attack the people of this town! Through the unconcious man on the floor here! This is totally unaccpetable my friends. Only we should have the right to do whatever we want here!"
Nicholas throws the letter off to the side and jumps off the pool table.
Archer Pilkerdent: "Mr. Hill, get down from the table!"
"Now look. Obviously this man was charleton"
Nicholas Hill: "Therefore, I propose that we take him down and claim this entire area as our own!
Archer Pilkerdent: "What, no!"
Nicholas Hill: He's speaking over Archer on purpose.
Archer Pilkerdent: "I don't want this town."
Nobody Important (GM): The people at the bar look at you for a moment, mutter, and get back to drinking.
Archer Pilkerdent: "It's filthy, and hot, and there's no tea!"
Nanuk-Shash: I take a swipe at Nick and try to pin him to the table to talk some sense into him.
Llamas: "That's right! Our mandate is writ by Mother Nature itself!" (It would be too annoying to repeat but just imagine I'm punctuating almost every phrase with squawking)
Nobody Important (GM): Sam waves a hand at you. "Hey, out with the old, in with the new, huh?"
Nanuk-Shash:
rolling 3d6+11
(
5
+
2
+
5
)
+11
=
23
Nicholas Hill: "You're right. Neither do I, actually. Let's just take it over and leave!"
Rolling to avoid/
rolling 4d6k3+17
(
5
+
1
+
4
+
2
)
+17
=
28
Hill nimbly doges Nanuk, dancing around the room.
Archer Pilkerdent: Rolling to scold Nick for being irrational
rolling 4d6k3+17
(
6
+
5
+
3
+
6
)
+17
=
34
Nicholas Hill: ((Can... Can we actually roll social against other PCs?))
Archer Pilkerdent: "Now look, Mr. Hill. There are ways of doing things, and ways not to do things."
Llamas: (Didn't we deliberate against it in the 4th playtest?)
Nanuk-Shash: ((the whole "no social rolls against party members" thing really makes Nimble characters be total dicks without fear of repercussion))
*lets not makes
Archer Pilkerdent: "Simply taking over a town because you have a letter which says that you can, which is obviously forged."
Nobody Important (GM): ((No, but Nanuk has a point. The velociraptor kind of proved that.))
Archer Pilkerdent: "I say that we go to this slim fellow, complain to him about these ruffians who are terrorizing this town in his name"
Nicholas Hill: ((It's valid motivation for taking down the local villains though.))
Nobody Important (GM): ((that it be.))
Nicholas Hill: ((Because it's fun))
Archer Pilkerdent: "And the proper authorities can deal with them then."
"That's the only proper way to get things done."
BORIS: ROLLAN INSIGHT
rolling 3d6+14
(
1
+
2
+
2
)
+14
=
19
Nanuk-Shash: ((maybe allow it with a GM veto so it can be used for Deceit and for dealing with this level of dickishness. This is like, one-tenth of an Eldrad level))
BORIS: Oh, he doesn't get his witty line.
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas laughs mirthfully at that. "Who says we aren't the authorities here, amirite? I say we instead go find out from that old man over there who we can fight, and go do it!" Nicholas walks over to Sam.
((To be fair, he's just phrasing the normal noble goals in a different way.))
Nobody Important (GM): "Eh?"
Nicholas Hill: ((Instead of "because it's right" it's "because it's fun".))
((Same outcome though.))
Nanuk-Shash: ((Murderhoboing))
Archer Pilkerdent: ((>being in charge of things: this kills the Pilkerdent))
Sarge: [How the fuck did all of you stay in the desert and not kill each other]
Llamas: (This is what CN rogues actually think).
Nobody Important (GM): He ponders that for a moment. "Well, there's Peyote Pete if you're talkin' bout who runs the bandits really for slim around here."
Nicholas Hill: "Sounds interesting. Who's that, and where is he?"
BORIS: "WHY DOES BORIS HAVE BAD FEELING THERE IS NO REAL AUTHORITY TO REPORT TO?"
Nobody Important (GM): "He runs them from, I dunno, some camp out west instead of staying in the governor's house like an ordinary person. He and slim go way back."
Well, that's because there ain't no authority here, clever ol' pig.
Llamas: "Laws of the wild, my porcine friend".
Archer Pilkerdent: "Mr. Sam, do tell me"
"Who is the proper authority around here?"
Nicholas Hill: ((Hey, he's Chaotic Good. He's got people's interests somewhere in the back of his mind and doesn't like killing or stealing that hurts people, he's just an undistilled asshole.))
Nanuk-Shash: "Okay, I'll go, but I swear to the heavenly lights, if you don't learn to shut up, I will kill you in your sleep"
Archer Pilkerdent: "Is it this Slim fellow?"
Nobody Important (GM): "You don't know who slim is?"
Nicholas Hill: "Are we supposed to?"
Archer Pilkerdent: "No."
Llamas: (Would academics be general information?)
Nanuk-Shash: ((You've shown both Chaotic Stupid and Stupid Good attributes, it's true))
Nobody Important (GM): He stares at you incredulously. "He's the 'sheriff of the west'! More like head bandit of the west. He took over the territories a couple years back."
BORIS: ALIGNMENT: CHAOTIC ASSHOLE
Llamas: (or travel?)
Nicholas Hill: ((It's DISNEY. Stupid is a helpful character trait.))
BORIS: Until you encounter a deal making villain.
Nobody Important (GM): "He used to be the world's biggest cattle rustler, but now he's the biggest jimminy rustler."
Archer Pilkerdent: (Pilkerdent: 120% lawful stupid)
Nanuk-Shash: ((too stupid gets you killed in your sleep))
Nobody Important (GM): "If it's illegal, he probably had a hand in it somewhere. Actually, there's not much thats illegal left since he got in power. that answer your question?"
Archer Pilkerdent: "I see."
rolling 4d6k3+18
(
6
+
1
+
6
+
4
)
+18
=
34
Nicholas Hill: "Yes, perfectly! Can you draw us a map?"
Archer Pilkerdent: >endurre to not be mindfucked having no one to complain at
Nobody Important (GM): He squints at you through bushy eyebrows for a moment.
"Sure, why not."
Archer Pilkerdent: "Well then, if there's no one in charge. Then the course is obvious.
Nobody Important (GM): He pulls out a piece of paper from one of his many pockets and a crude stick of charcoal, and after about five minutes he's sketched a map of the local area.
The town, the outlying farms, the railroads, the next town over, and the bandit camp to the northwest.
Archer Pilkerdent: "We must find someone who is lawful, put him in charge, and then complain to him about this terrible bandit mess. Not to mention the terrible train situation."
Nanuk-Shash: I thank him and suggest that we go outside to find it
Nicholas Hill: "Great work, old chap." Nicholas snags the map and motions for everyone to follow as he starts moving towards the exit of the bar. "We'll go put you in charge once we've outed this evil tyrant or whatever. Ciao!"
Nobody Important (GM): "Wait, what?!"
Archer Pilkerdent: "Yes, that seems like the most obvious choice."
Nobody Important (GM): You manage to hear him exclaim just before the doors slam shut behind you.
BORIS: "GREAT, NOW I AM INTO SHIT WITH HUMANS AGAIN."
Nanuk-Shash: I confront the party
"Well, about that"
BORIS: "WELL, MIGHT AS WELL ROLL WITH IT."
Nanuk-Shash: "I've just been through a fight with you guys, and I trust MOST of you now" (I glower at Nick) "and I have a confession:"
Llamas: "I doubt this is the reason the spirits guided me here, but spreading some more peace and order can't hurt."
Nanuk-Shash: "I... am a bear."
Archer Pilkerdent:
rolling 4d6k3+18
(
6
+
4
+
5
+
5
)
+18
=
34
Nobody Important (GM): Archer, you naturally resist that.
TN15.
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas looks unimpressed.
Archer Pilkerdent: >bearness ignored
Llamas: "Yes, we knew".
Nicholas Hill: ((We're headed towards the bandito camp at this point, I think. How far away is it?))
Nanuk-Shash: "Really? Oh, yeah, you saw that. Well, it's my deepest secret, so, yeah."
Nobody Important (GM): ((Roughly three miles. But that's session for today.))
BORIS: "WELL NO SHIT."
Nanuk-Shash: okay
Llamas: "I've lived most of my life in mountains and forest and speak with nature itself. I think I can tell a plantigrade from a primate, thank you very much."
Nicholas Hill: That was pretty damn good.
Chaotic stupids are always more fun with a straight man to contrast them.
Llamas: T'was fun.
Nobody Important (GM): Yeah, this was kind of a setup session. 3 lessons for Nanuk, 3 for Nicholas, 3 for Arthur, 2 for Dances, and 2 for BORIS
Nanuk-Shash: I didn't even get to try Intimidating Nick into shutting up.
Nicholas Hill: TOO FAST 4 U
Archer Pilkerdent: Why is it that I suspect that the main conflict with in the party will be the extremely chaotic stupid and lawful stupid, while the beast characters just look on in disgust
Nanuk-Shash: Who is lawful stupid?
Archer Pilkerdent: I am
Nicholas Hill: I dunno about conflict. Nicholas and Archer seem to get along pretty well, it's just that Archer is the only sane man in the party.
Also BORIS but he's a boar
Nobody Important (GM): >finds he is in a lawless land
Archer Pilkerdent: My modus operandi is find who is in charge and complain at them until they fix something
Sarge: So I need to make Villains for the wild-west, how do you guys feel about them being based on the Four Horsemen?
Nobody Important (GM): >decides that he wants to put someone into power so that he can complain about it.
Nanuk-Shash: Yeah, but you just don't acknowledge anything that isn't Lawful Boring
Archer Pilkerdent: Yes
Nobody Important (GM): Four horsemen could definitely be good. We've got a few already, but we could always use more.
Llamas: I'm pure neutral, as long as you don't start cutting down forests for shit and giggles you can kill each other and I won't bat an eyelid.
Nicholas Hill: This party is pretty damn Disney.
Two idiots with their hearts in the right place who contrast each other
A giant mentor boar
A bear in shining armor
And a weird-ass freakbird.
Nanuk-Shash: No, you are too violent, and your heart isn't really in the right place
So there's that
Nobody Important (GM): >too violent
Nicholas Hill: Nah, both Nicholas and Archer want to do what's right. They just have retarded reasons.
Nobody Important (GM): >TTRPGS
Sarge: All you guys need to do is sing a music number about your problems and/or wish, then you'll be fully disney
Llamas: By the way are what progression speed are we using?
Archer Pilkerdent: It'll be part of his character development
Nanuk-Shash: Stabbing someone in the face with a pool cue after they put down a weapon and are willing to talk
Archer Pilkerdent: learning not to just hit something
Nobody Important (GM): Medium, i think for progression speed.
Nicholas Hill: He's not dead, so it's totally fine
Nobody Important (GM): It's ~20 sessions, so it'll do.
Llamas: You revel in your animal nature. I approve of that.
Archer Pilkerdent: >tfw archer would just complain about how the music is too loud and learn nothing because of tin ear
Nanuk-Shash: You have tin ear?
Archer Pilkerdent: yep
Nanuk-Shash: Shit.
I'm a musician
Archer Pilkerdent: Archer is the absolute straight man
Nicholas Hill: Oh man, tin ear
Nanuk-Shash: That isn't great
Nobody Important (GM): Anyway, thanks for coming guys, if you could give me your opinion that would be great, I'm gonna 'bin this and throw it up on the thread.
Nicholas Hill: Good lord
I liked the map a lot.
It made me happy.
Archer Pilkerdent: Thanks for hosting, Nobs
Nicholas Hill: Great fun overall.
Nobody Important (GM): Thanks. i'll keep trying to make them.
Nanuk-Shash: I like it
Llamas: Finally something that is not an endless checkered white void!
Nobody Important (GM): Need more varied tokens. Do that when I get home.
Archer Pilkerdent: Map is good, gives good context
Nicholas Hill: I'm a little salty that I'll only be able to play Sverd with my irl group that never wants to do anything fun
But Nicholas is fun as hell to play too.
Nanuk-Shash: You made the switch from Lawful Stupid to Chaotic Stupid pretty fast
a man of extremes
Nicholas Hill: Sverd is pure Stupid Good.
Archer Pilkerdent: Actually come to think of it, both of us did
Nicholas Hill: Nicholas is only partially Chaotic Stupid with a dash of Stupid Good.
Archer Pilkerdent: Lazarus is chaotic don't give a shit
sverd is stupid good
Archer and Nicholas are Lawful stupid and chaotic stupid
Nicholas Hill: Overplaying characters is great disney work.
Nanuk-Shash: Did you know, there can be non-stupid characters?
Nobody Important (GM): >implying
Nicholas Hill: They're originally from folklore too, which are the origin of stupids
Nanuk-Shash: no
Archer Pilkerdent: >Playing an intelligent character
Nanuk-Shash: Folklore isn't inherently stupid
Nicholas Hill: Playing rational and non-overplayed characters isn't disney tho, they're not supposed to be rational or smart.
Llamas: Me and my beasty-boys are neutral good. We don't care about the laws of man, right guys?
Nicholas Hill: And if they are it's in a comical way.
Archer Pilkerdent: >This Christmas
>A wild Virgina rogue
Llamas: )except for the bear shambling around in pink-face. You should feel ashamed).
Nanuk-Shash: really, playing stupid characters for a long time would just be totally draining and unpleasant
Archer Pilkerdent: >and a by the book englishman
Nobody Important (GM): (we
Archer Pilkerdent: >team up to fight crime
Nobody Important (GM): Shall see, shan't we Nanuk.)
Archer Pilkerdent: >Nanuk: Damn it, Hill you're a loose cannon!
Nanuk-Shash: (How dare you? I started doing this when my tribe was massacred!)
Nicholas Hill: I've played with stupid characters that aren't grating. Bad characters are bad, stupid characters played for laughs aren't. STUPID 4 LYFE
Nanuk-Shash: Can I PLEASE roll Intimidate to get him to stop doing things?
Nicholas Hill: Yeah, that should be a thing.
If Nanuk can catch and slap someone's shit then it would make sense
Nobody Important (GM): If Nick is okay with it, sure.
Nanuk-Shash: Swiping at him with a paw can't really hit him
Nicholas Hill: I'm gonna keep my acrobatics so high you'll never catch me though
Too fast.
Archer Pilkerdent: >gotta go fast
Nanuk-Shash: You will dodge my intimidation?
Nobody Important (GM): He will dodge your harsh words!
Nanuk-Shash: How does that work?
Nicholas Hill: Too fast for words
I AM THE FLASH
If you're doing physical intimidation though in all seriousness I can dodge it.
HOPE YOU SPENT A LOT OF CHARM POINTS
Nanuk-Shash: That's a TN 80 check at least
Llamas: (how many sessions before they try to kill each other? Place your bets here).
Archer Pilkerdent: >you can't dodge my endure based complaining attacks
Nanuk-Shash: MY CHARM IS 12 BITCH.
Nicholas Hill: FUG
Nobody Important (GM): (3)
(3 sessions.)
Nanuk-Shash: AND I HAVE +9 TO INTIMIDATE IF YOU KNOW I'M A BEAR
Endure rolls are going to wreck your shit, man
Nobody Important (GM): Anyway, 'binning this now.
Nicholas Hill: Cool beans.