Previous (last) year I also did admission at de Ateliers, a great chance but sadly I could not realize it. I hope that you can give me this year another chance (opportunity)

I made a lot of new work; I educated myself in both theory and practical parts of arts. I worked hard in Enschede and I got a lot out of it but I have to continue and keep on improving.

I live in Enschede. That’s my home but I’m stuck inside and the doors and windows are closed. It is a dark home but for some reason it comforts me, till a certain point, but no further. This home moves me and speaks to me with his soothing voice. Though, if I want to talk it won’t let me. It interrupts me and doesn’t let me face the evening sane. My only wish is to speak and for no one to intervene me for a while. Please just listen. This home is too dark, too much.
This is my warning.
My home doesn’t want to hear it, he doesn’t want to know. I just want to run and play but this is just a bad dream. Soon I’m going to wake up, and my friends will help me.
My will to create is urging me to move forward, the seeds I have in my head need to be planted. The seeds I sow need to grow, but whatever seed I plant remains a surprise till it takes on a more grown form. More than often it renders me speechless, having no clue how to respond. Luckily, the forms I brought into being manage to speak to me; it is only a matter of time for me to learn how to talk back.
Still, I have to bear in mind that I am the one who created this being. I am the one responsible for giving him a mouth, eyes and ears. I am the one giving this person the ability to speak. I have to be careful with the organs I give this man. For if I don’t act wise, he will devour me.

I want him to take over
I want him to bind me
Yet I want him to be my friend


I am fully convinced that I have to go to de Ateliers, I want to paint, photograph, draw and experiment and discover new ways of expressing myself. I must talk to people whom are experiencing the same stage of life as I do now right now.


			I am sitting in a very fast train watching all the people
			I decide to take some Polaroid photos and in a sudden they become blurred. The train goes slower and slower. People enter the train and leave the train. It’s a sunny day and I know it’s my turn to get out but I don’t. I am feeling fine and this is good. This is really good.
They say I forget easy