Pharaoh Man

This is the worst stage with the worst overall gimmick in the game, although nothing quite tops that one Dust Man room for blatant stupidity. It's a terrible concept in its own right so no real manner of execution could mold it into something tolerable. This stage is home to control-based hindrances, and as bad as it is, and as much criticism as the hacker deserves for it, the sad part is how much company he shares with professional game developers. Seriously, stop fucking with my controls in a platformer and come up with something that has relevance to the level design.

Pharaoh Man's stage winds up being a particularly offensive example just by virtue of the hacker trying so hard to chase a faulty concept with as much creativity as he could muster. When you spend that effort on something that's flawed before it even develops, all your effort serves to do is annoy the player in unique ways. Movement inhibitors in this particular stage take the form of curses, and boy, are there ever a lot of them. To enumerate, you'll first encounter 'Reverse', which swaps everything. Up/down, left/right, B/A, select/start. Everything. Next is 'Hopping', which automatically forces Mega Man to jump to full height in regular intervals, then 'Berserker', which rapidly and automatically taps the fire button. 'Roulette' is a rare one dedicated to a particular enemy, and it switches a weapon/tool at random every three seconds, given you three seconds to fire whatever you're dealt. 'Minimum' limits you to one shot of whatever weapon you're using at a time, and the shot's speed is reduced threefold. 'Fidget' makes you continuous walk in the direction you're facing while grounded, whereas 'Slipping' causes you to slide in that fashion. Finally, 'Fetter' is a sequence-specific curse that limits your actions to jump and shoot.

The level design is really nothing particularly challenging in the face of a normal control scheme, but of course, that's not what you're working with. Instead rudimentary and not overly-interesting layouts become massive headaches by virtue of your handicaps, and the entire affair winds up feeling lazy and phoned-in even though it's obviously not, since there's a lot of subtle consideration given to make sure you're never quite screwed by whatever curse you receive. It's just the nature of the concept's shittiness that masks those efforts. In the end, it's a lot of thought thrown at something that should've been thrown itself. By far the worst aspect of this entire travesty is the fact that you have no signal for when a curse is going to switch, disappear or initiate, nor which one you're going to receive, which can and does lead to cheap deaths at these specific trigger points. Idiocy.

One thing I can't criticize about this stage is its production values and its pacing. Just keep the opening room in mind as you watch.

We jump into things right away with Reverse which is far and above the rest in terms of annoyance. Something as simple as reversing left and right causes most players headaches, but having to press up and fire to slide is enough to send someone into a tailspin. Again, I need to insist attention be paid to the level design the player struggles with on account of this gimmick; it is absolutely by-the-books and would be a complete afterthought without such an awful shadow hanging over it. It's maddeningly disparate and really accentuates the obnoxiousness at play. Notice how quickly it switches to Hopping; the lengths of time between each curse is also a wildly inconsistent matter. If there's one positive thing I can say about them, it's that I like the touch of them only being present within the pyramids. Oh, and at the very least, he somewhat preludes what to expect before the curses combine with hazards.

Following this is a breath of false hope with some interesting enough platforming, which is really what the entire stage should've and could've been since no other was really a straight platforming affair. But nope, gotta have those gimmicks regardless of whether they work to service the enjoyment of the product. Yeesh.

Here's the only semi-useful curse unless you're the sort who enjoys weapon use. This lasts all of five seconds before the absolutely pointless Roulette sets in. There's zero chance you're going to do anything remotely effective against this damage tanker with the retarded setup you're given, and it doesn't matter anyway, because you can just watch him commit suicide before he accomplishes anything. What is the point? Following this is a 'blink and you'll miss it' introduction to Hopping, and then we get the only curse I find remotely interesting because it's the only one that does something I halfway care about. Firing off a slow motion charged shot and watching it lead into enemies is kind of nifty. That's it. Fidget's next. Did you notice? Why volley these out so fast you're not even going to know what's going on before the next one hits? Ironically, giving you Slipping here is more useful than detrimental. Oh, and did you see how infuriatingly perfect that switch from Slipping to Reverse was? Hit Reverse, double back into Slipping, hit Reverse, you get the picture and you get the nuisance. There's an E-tank hidden on the other side of this pyramid. The dick move involved in collecting it is so overbearing it defies description or worth, so we move on.

As I said earlier, the one thing this stage has going for it is the production values. I get a laugh out of destroying Pharaoh Man's personal property, but I don't think he appreciates the humor.

Yet another section where the curse makes it easier. Okay? This next merciful stretch without curses is an interesting form of timing challenge usually reserved for crushers from above, not hazards from below. You need to be fast and assured in your movements and enemy management, but you can't get overzealous on what you think you have time to accomplish. Safe ground is more common than it looks, and it might pay to be more cautious than you see me being in the video, and deal with a little bit at a time. I like this section except for the ugly superheated sand (or whatever it is).

Shadow Man's back for his third and final stage fight, and he's at his hardest and most dynamic here. Boasting a trio of elemental boosts, Shadow Man can, subsequently, add one of three elemental attacks to his usual regimen. After a bit of the same ol', he starts following his more typical strategy of three jumps, then an attack. These jumps are arguably the hardest part of the fight, because should he jump the lowest height from an inopportune distance, you'll feel it if you aren't very quick. He'll then break out either an electrical barrier, a swath of fire, or a water wave, each with a distinct behavior. He also has one last trick up his sleeve near the very end of his life, where he'll jump from the screen and try to fall on Mega Man's position. Should he land this, he'll hold Mega Man in place, and summarily execute him with a Shadow Blade to the throat. It hurts.

Next we're reintroduced to Reverse in a much more infuriating stretch of level. That sand is a quick road to death, so don't fall in too much if you want to come out with any health at all. Easier said than done with the way you need to bend your mind to navigate this crap. After this is a charming cameo of past fire master statues which is of course ruined by another stupid curse. This is the trickiest room in the level to avoid a hit on until you plan out a specific sequence. Finally, this horrible trudge is over and we can fight a fun, almost overwhelming boss who's probably got the most visceral and aesthetically pleasing battle in the game.

He'll start with a funny sequence where he curses you in place and tries to do you in personally before you fire on his most precious statue. After this he's really pissed, and after sending you sky high through the level's beginning tunnel in a great example of design coherence, the fight can begin.

Pharaoh starts hard and gets harder. He shares a high weakness to the buster with Ring Man, but he'll give you more of a run for your money before he's had his say. Things start off with a charged and uncharged attack sequence, and the uncharged shots are the trickiest to avoid, acting like met projectiles on steroids, especially when he decides to use it multiple times in a row. You want to end this portion of the fight as quickly as possible before he angles those shots in a way that doesn't agree with your survival. At this point, he enrages, and let me tell you, he goes out with the biggest bang of the eight.

After a hard to dodge and hard to lead assault of projectiles, Pharaoh Man brings the fight to more personal quarters and all hell breaks loose. This absolute barrage of explosive projectiles and movement feels summarily impossible to avoid unless you've got a quick eye for what's going on. He's always trailing Mega Man with his shots and always spacing them evenly, very akin to Crash Man, except a lot stricter to deal with. This means that given the proper spacing (either of the indents on the sides of the room do nicely), you can sleuth by all three with a well-timed and lengthy enough slide. Knowing this and performing it while tracking his movement are two separate matters, and with your senses already bleeding, it's not easy to catch yourself when he lands in place to use his next attack, a charged shot gatling gun that you need to be on another height to avoid. Trying to lead between this charged assault and his immediate reprisal of explosives, especially when starting from the higher ground, is the biggest trick in the fight and I was lucky enough not to require it done.

The biggest kick in the ass here is that during this last phase, Pharaoh Man will be cycling the various curses his level presented us. Now, I feel I need to double back somewhat on my original absolutes because, while I'm hard-pressed to imagine a control-hindrance servicing platforming in any meaningful way, it can service a boss fight just fine so long as it doesn't become ridiculous. It worked to flavor Magna Centipede's battle, and it works to flavor this one. As he selects through this in a specific order, the first few curses are workable, but you want him well and dead before the fourth, Reverse, kicks in. Unless you've got nerves I can't perceive, this is going to spell a hit for you. It's simply too much to handle in an very fast-paced and busy gauntlet.

Notice how he's slowly destroying his own temple just to murder you. If I didn't care about my safety, I'd give him time to snuff out his two torches, which darkens the room. Really visually well-realized boss.