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Rarifag

Smarty Kings 1

May 6th, 2013
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  1. >Be a fluffy pony named Grassy
  2. >Your stupid earthie mumma gave you the name
  3. >You don't hate earthies, they're all just stupid
  4. >That's why your herd enslaves them
  5. >You're out on a patrol now with two other unicorns
  6. >Boulder is a small gray fluffy with lighter-gray head holder and tail fluff
  7. >Bottle is a bigger green fluffy with darker-green head holder and tail fluff
  8. >You're all looking for earthies to bring back to Smarty King
  9. "Wook ova' dere fo' wingies Gwassy!" Boulder says
  10. >You do as he says because he's something Smarty King calls a "Lou Tenant"
  11. >You knew a fluffy named Lou once
  12. >She was pretty
  13. >You hear shuffling in the tall grassies ahead
  14. "Bowdah! Gwassie see somfin' in da gwassies!"
  15. >He runs over to check it out
  16. >Two dark monsters instantly drop from the sky, laughing a scary laugh
  17. >You instantly know what attacked your Lou
  18. >Puffing your cheeks, you fire up your horn
  19. "GO 'WAY WINGIES! DUM FWUFFIES!"
  20. >A line of white sparklies flies from your horn thingee and barely hits a dummy wingie
  21. >Earthies are okay enough, you sometimes feel bad because they're so stupid
  22. >But you do hate wingies!
  23. >You've hated wingies ever since you were born!
  24. >Smarty King helped all the unicorns in your herd learn how to use their horn-thingees to make hurty sparks
  25. >Smarty King also told all of the unicorn fluffies about how stupid earthies need help with "Phils Call Labour"
  26. >You knew a fluffy named Phill once
  27. >Then Smarty King told a story about how mean meanie wingies were
  28. >Stupid meanie wingies!
  29. >You chase after the two wingies, who've begun flying with Boulder in their hooves
  30. >If only you could fly...
  31. >You feel sad as you watch sleepy Boulder fly off with the wingies
  32. >Bottle starts crying, so you give him hugs
  33. >You have to be brave, you have to be strong
  34. >You have to tell Smarty King what happened
  35. >You're a little scared now, because you're entering the Throne room of King Smarty
  36. >It's really dark and smells like red owies
  37. >Your herd lives in a really big stone cave on one end of The Big Green
  38. >The grassies in The Big Green aren't good nummies, Smarty King told you that!
  39. >He's so smart
  40. >He's also strong and smells pretty all the time
  41. >Even his poopies smell pretty
  42. >On the other end of The Big Green are the dummy wingies
  43. >Their Smarty must be smart too, since only wingies from that herd can fly
  44. >As far as you've noticed from lonely fluffies discovered on patrols
  45. >But he's not as smart as King Smarty!
  46.  
  47. >You take a few scared steps forward towards the dark
  48. "Ki-King Smarty?"
  49. "Yes, Gwassies?"
  50. >You love King Smarty because he knows every fluffy's name
  51. >You also love him because he can do a scary but smart trick with his voice
  52. >It sounds like two fluffies are talking at once!
  53. >Isn't that a neat trick?
  54. >Still pretty scary, actually
  55. "A wepowd abou' da patwol-"
  56. "Ah yis, we got da' earthies you sen'. Vewwy gud Gwassy, vewwy gud"
  57. >You gulp in fear
  58. "Weww, King Smawty, is not aww gud"
  59. >You almost make poopies when two green shinies start glowing from the dark
  60. >Purple smokies surround the shinies
  61. >Those're King Smarty's eyes, and another neat-but-scary trick
  62. "Wut Gwassies mean, NOT. AWW. GUD?"
  63. "Wingies weww dewe! Wingies took Bowdah! Haf to save Bowdah!"
  64. >The smokies around King Smarty's eyes moves faster
  65. >That mean's he's thinking
  66. >Smarty King is so smart
  67. >He steps towards you, off his throne
  68. >He's really big, but smaller at the no-no's and poopie-place end of him
  69. >He's mostly gray, with a lot of fluff around his head that looks like it's always in the wind
  70. >He also has a red cape on his back
  71. >That means he's not only Smarty, but KING Smarty
  72. >You wish you had a cape some days
  73. "Bowdah was a gud unicown, a gud fwuffy"
  74. >Smarty King looks sad
  75. >You know better than to give him huggies, though
  76. "Hewd not weady fow waw..."
  77. >You're a little scared now, because you're entering the Throne room of King Smarty
  78. >It's really dark and smells like red owies
  79. >Your herd lives in a really big stone cave on one end of The Big Green
  80. >The grassies in The Big Green aren't good nummies, Smarty King told you that!
  81. >He's so smart
  82. >He's also strong and smells pretty all the time
  83. >Even his poopies smell pretty
  84. >On the other end of The Big Green are the dummy wingies
  85. >Their Smarty must be smart too, since only wingies from that herd can fly
  86. >As far as you've noticed from lonely fluffies discovered on patrols
  87. >But he's not as smart as King Smarty!
  88. >He looks at you
  89. "Nu weady fow Pewicles an' all his fas' wingies"
  90. >He walks out of the Smarty King room
  91. >You walk with him
  92. "Yoo gud fwuffy Gwassy, awways get gud nummies and"
  93. >He shudders
  94. >"Cwystaw Swaves"
  95. >King Smarty calls your earthie slaves "Crystal Slaves" for some reason
  96. >You don't know what a crystal is, but it probably has to do with the shiny gray paper he puts on them
  97. >The shinies make sure the dumb earthies can't escape
  98. >King Smarty also has them around his chest fluff and leggies
  99. >He calls it "Regal Armour"
  100. >You call it pretty
  101. >He stops you two just before you enter the Big Room
  102. "Yoo do weww now, Lou Tenan' Gwassie"
  103. >Your chest starts stomping
  104. >You can't believe you're a Lou Tenant of King Smarty!
  105. >Struggle to speak
  106. "Th-thank yoo King Sm-Smarty!"
  107. >He smirks
  108. "Pwease Lou Tenan', caww me King Sombwa nao"
  109. >You hug him
  110. >He hugs you back
  111. >You love King Smarty Sombra
  112. >and will make as many wingies sleep forever as possible to make sure he's happy
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