Epitaphs v1

Here lies Johnathon Crammer
Who died in quite awful manor
He walked on the street
When the stoplight was green
And the truck, with his chest, went kablammer

Here lies Billy O'Creehide
Who gambled for anything he tried
One day he was fined
To swallow a dime
And that is the way that he died

Here lies Vincent Von Vightly
Who got shot to put It quite lightly.
In a peril quite dire,
He got caught in crossfire,
And got killed in a way quite unsightly

Here lies  the body of Ted,
He's honored loved and dead.
But if I could take a bullet for him,
I'd rather they shoot him instead.

Here lies Jason O'Crawlly
Who died on a ride on a trolley,
The trolley derailed,
the breaks on it failed,
And he fell in a farm of broccoli

Here lies Oliver Oil,
Whose name was his own comic foil,
He asked for some food,
But his name was so good,
That they laughed until all the food spoiled

Here lies Melody Crow,
Who dropped her ring in the dough,
She chocked when she ate,
The bread that she baked,
But the bread tasted great even so.

Here lies Wallaby Gaff,
Who made his friends all laugh,
But then he fell right off a bridge,
So here's his epitaph.

Rest is peace John Kale,
Who, breaking out of jail,
Tried to shoot his handcuffs off,
And that is why he failed


R I P Bill Jaer,
Who drove to county square,
But got lost in Templeton,
Driving over there

Here lies Jill West,
Who we can all attest,
Messed up in a summersault.
At least she tried her best.

Here lies Raven O'Claire
Who tried to die her hair,
But when she left it in too long..
..She's in a better place up there

Here lies William Shock,
Who went out for a walk,
And then he died,
We don't know why,
We can't get the locals to talk.

Here lies Harrison Xiv,
Who lost his will to live,
For when he read the twilight books,
He had nothing left to give

Here lies grandma's ashes,
And some parts of her mustaches

Here lies Garry Hane,
Who died whilst on a plane,
For it was delayed so many times,
I'm afraid he went insane.

Here lies the body and heart,
Of the charismatic Walt,
Who died while taking finals week,
For he was too stressed to start.

Here lies a serious dead guy,
Who died, but nobody knows why

Here lies Amelia Fung,
A witch who when was hung,
Turned out to be a normal person,
But with a broken lung

Here lies Schrodinger's Cat,
Who's dead no matter what


Here lies Ray Sontaro,
Who won't be here tomorrow,
Which is sad because he owed me money,
That he said he'd only borrow

Here lies Jameson Gif,
Who life was a wonderful Jift.
But people fought over his name so much,
On the Jallows he had quite a lift

Here lies dear old Skip,
Who drank some mercury
He thought that it was water
And died in '83

Here lies Romeo Torhon,
Who would have died before on,
But he was busy and so,
He just couldn't go,
And he still hasn't died,
What a moron

Here lies me Jerry Shooter,
I hear I became a butcher,
But the body inside,
Is me when I died,
Except it is me from the future

Here lies Don Quixote,
Not the famous one,
When people asked that once too much,
He decided he was done

Here lies Mary Mundane,
She was radical sick and insane,

Here lies me from the past,
Don't ask about this epitaph

Here lies Donavan Ing
Who was next in line the be King
But didn't want to be around,
To be known for being King Ing

Here is the body of William Shakespeer
Here is the body of William Shakespeere
Here is the body of William Shakespere
Here is the body of William Shakespeare

Here lies Skippy J.
Who just died yesterday

Here is Livinguy Fred,
Who believe it or not isn't dead!

Rest in peace George Votter
Who died with his beautiful daughter,
By driving his sports car off of  a cliff,
And driving that car at full throttle