iia AMA 4/6/16

<cmd102> Question from _NuclearCorpus : How do I get a better style of writing?
<iia> write more. develop your own voice. figure out a way of writing that feels most honest to you, then practice it.
<iia> i think.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Have you ever read through one of your stories and thought "These needs more pizazz. (bodily fluids, skin tearing, ants, etc)"?
<iia> I'm never short on pizazz. it's character development and actually making the thing make sense that takes the most time. i've finished a story and realized at the end that absolutely nothing happens and it's just disjointed horse shit. i've gotten better at actually proofreading before posting, though, so hopefully i'll be putting that unpleasantne
<iia> ss behind me.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : I noticed you posted poetry to tumblr.  What got you going with that? (It's great by the way.)
<iia> thanks row! poetry is a ton of fun and it gives me an opportunity to explore different topics that i don't touch on with horror. like, i LOVE filthy limericks. but also, constrained writing forces me to be more creative. it's easy to write a 40-word sentence with six semicolons in a piece of prose, but trying to get your point across in just a few
<iia> lines is challenging and fun for me
<cmd102> Question from Kerrima : What's your opinion of the NoSleep platform for writers?
<iia> i'm still unsure. i haven't been writing very long, but it seems to be really, really helpful if you don't get stuck in a rut where you have to feel like those are the only types of stories you can write and practice. that said, the exposure a writer can get is insane. so, so many people read that sub and i can't think of a better way to showcase y
<iia> our work without paying for a big site to advertise it
<cmd102> Question from KPants : If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
<iia> billions of dollars, indefinite lifespan, and another three wishes
<cmd102> Question from _NuclearCorpus : How many spiders is enough in an orifice?
<iia> depends on the orifice and the type of spider. you can probably safely get one tarantula in a mouth without harming it, but easily 20-25 brown recluses in the same place. "enough" is a very subjective label.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Are there other stories you've written that feature people from your daily life?
<iia> no. i go out of my way to avoid the names of people i know in my stories. with the type of content i write and the increasing exposure i've been lucky enough to receive lately, the last thing i want is to write something reprehensible using the name of someone i know. what if they think it's about them? i'd be mortified.
<cmd102> Question from kneeod :  If you had to choose one bug+orifice combination to deal with, what would it be and why?
<iia> to deal with personally? soft furry moths in my ears.
<iia> i'd name them
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Have you thought about coming up with some body horror recipes? We know you like to cook.
<iia> i haven't thought of that but i can certainly see a way to make it happen. hmmmm.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : When's the next Dad's Tapes?
<iia> lol AJ. probably when i have my best story ever just hitting number one so it can be cut down to #2 by the mighty EZ and her series
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : What's your favorite nosleep story?
<iia> tampon recall. hands down.
<iia> jealous as fuck of it, too
<cmd102> Question from Kerrima : What is it about bugs that inspires you so much?
<iia> they scare the shit out of me. i don't know why and i know it's stupid, but something about them makes me intensely uncomfortable. i can imagine them doing horrible, horrible things to me...so i guess i turn that imagination into stories to ruin the days of my readers.
<cmd102> Question from kneeod : If you had to choose one body part to get replaced by an insect limb, what would it be?
<iia> my dick so i could have a bigger dick.
<cmd102> Question from KPants : How much meat can you stuff into your mouth at once?
<iia> thank you for asking that, Kristy, and it's something i frequently ask myself. i have an exceptionally large mouth and i can open it really, really wide. i take bites of food that frighten and sometimes enrage my girlfriend (if it's her sandwich i'm biting). as far as meat...i'd say about half a NY strip steak. probably 2/3rds of a Wendy's triple b
<iia> aconator.
<cmd102> Question for theephemera : Recently, someone in the OOC asked about having bugs as a trigger warning on stories. Thoughts?
<iia> i saw that. while it was a silly question and i took it as a compliment, i AM in favor of some trigger warnings (but not as ridiculous as bugs or bad language). if someone was traumatized by a rape and wants to avoid stories that have rape in it, i understand and respect the desire for a warning to be present.
<cmd102> Question from ThrowAwatSalesman : What was your favorite story to write?
<iia> i LOVED writing Roo because it flowed so perfectly from concept to finished piece. 3D Printing, from last year, was a high point too. the one about Chernobyl was a lot of fun as well. i'd wanted to write something about chernobyl for a while and i'm pleased with how it came out. i want to try something else about that topic soon, though. something
<iia> different.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson :  Do you ever have time to play video games? If so, what do you like to play?
<iia> i have about 1200 hours logged with Civilization 5. and Borderlands 2 consumed my entire spring last year.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : any chance of an EZmisery/iia collaboration?
<iia> oh yes. we're in the process of fleshing something out.
<cmd102> Question from KPants : Are you ever shocked by your own content when you write a story? (I'm traumatized)
<iia> there have definitely been a couple that i didn't feel good about writing. "The Floor is Lava" was really mean-spirited and one of the worst stories I've written that got a lot of attention.
<cmd102> Question from xylonex : Why the obsession with gross stuff?
<iia> It comes easy to me and writing it means i'm getting the writing practice i need. i've been branching out into less-gross stuff, but whenever i want to have a nice sandbox where i can just write and have fun, i'll always go back to gross.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : What's your favorite music to write to, if any?
<iia> i don't write to music. i write to the cacophonous savagery that's always present at my job. 99% of what i've written was done in my office there.
<cmd102> Question from KPants : What is your favorite Disney movie?
<iia> The Little Mermaid, hands down. it's so so so so wonderful and i have all the songs memorized. ursula is so mean.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Do you see yourself working on a novel any time soon?
<KPants> Good man
<iia> i'd like to think so, Row, but my attention span hasn't allowed me to focus on anything for longer than the What I've Seen series that's still in progress. i hope i snap out of it soon, though, because no publisher wants a compilation of short stories
<cmd102> Question from theephemera :  What's your favorite book?
<iia> Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins. it's glorious and fun.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Who's your favorite narrator?
<iia> *checks who's online*
<iia> Atticus Jackson!
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Someone from nosleep cooks for you. Who is it and what do they make?
<iia> It's whoever can make mac and cheese well and get it to me fastest. I think that means kneeod, because he's closest. But i'm open to anyone who wants to try to get here before him.
<iia> i'm serious, btw.
<kneeod> I'm already making it.
<iia> my man.
<cmd102> Questions from _NuclearCorpus (I'm putting them all together because they're just silly): "Is there any chance of you visiting England? I will be your guide.",  "What do you think of a viking funeral?" , "Why are you so handsome?"
<iia> Visiting England: probably not any time in the near future. too much to do. but when i do, you're buying me a pint. Viking funeral: the smell of burning beard hair fills the air. Handsome: genetics and blessings from a generous God.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Did you expect to become a popular figure on a public forum? And is there anything different in your life you have to deal with because of it?
<iia> People always told me I was a very good writer all throughout school, but I didn't do much to see if that talent would bear fruit until very recently when I fucked around with little vignettes in /r/wtf. Once those started taking off, I realized I might have a shot writing stories people would enjoy. As far as if there's anything different - I'm ac
<iia> tually taking the time to write nowadays. A lot. I said in the other interview that i aim for 3k to 5k words a week. It will probably end up as more than that pretty soon. I'm looking for jobs as a writer for when I move in October. The difference in my life is pretty substantial. For the first time in over 30 years, I know what I want to do. And i
<iia> t's because of the support from you guys and everyone else who reads what I make.
<cmd102> Question from Xylonex :  What, if any, is your favorite mention in another author's story?
<iia> That time Kneeod was tooting on my hog in your story, Xy. Obv.
<cmd102> Question from KPants :  If I gave you $1,000 right now, what would you do with it?
<iia> Pay bills because i'm a boring fucking adult. :( And get a burger from 5 guys. Triple wth extra cheese and fried jalapeños.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Does your girlfriend read your stories?
<iia> Some of them. She's AMAZING at all things written and spoken (she's a linguist) and she'll always let me know if i'm fucking something up. that said, i know which ones NOT to show her, like Centipedes. i'd be living with my parents within 10 minutes of her finishing it if i asked her to read that one.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera :  Do you believe in ghosts?
<iia> nope. i kinda wish i did, though. the world would be a lot more interesting.
<iia> stupid epistemology
<cmd102> Question from theephemera :  If you went back in time and gave yourself advice at the ages of 7, 13, and 18, what would you say?
<iia> 7: tell a better lie about how you "accidentally" looked up that girl's skirt. 13: stop watching so much Beavis and Butthead and go to the gym, you skinny, mulleted fuck. 18: brace yourself. it's going to get ugly.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson :  Favorite liquor and why? :D
<iia> Campari because i'm apparently an Italian homosexual. But whatevs. it's delicious.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Have your parents read any of your stories?
<iia> They just learned about my blog yesterday. I have yet to hear anything back, but I've seen their town show up in my google analytics page and they've read some heinous stuff. like Ropes.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : What's your favorite childhood memory?
<iia> i honestly remember very little of my childhood, and while it wasn't bad, i can't pinpoint any favorite memory. i have problems.
<cmd102> Question from KPants : Have any cool scars?
<iia> lots of scars, none of them cool.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : What would you put on your perfect pizza?
<iia> broccoli rabe and spicy sausage. with lots of fennel in the sausage. ohhhh fuck yes.
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 (the coolest) : It's 10 years in the future and you're a rich and famous author. What do you do with your riches? Spoil yourself, or spoil others?
<cmd102> Or both
<iia> i'd like to do both. i don't really need many expensive things, though. i'm not into ostentatiousness. i'd definitely help others, but i wouldn't spoil them.
<iia> so semi-both
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : What is your favorite physical activity?
<iia> deadlifting. fucking looooove deadlifting. and squats. Sky's out, Thighs out, baby!
<cmd102> Question from KPants : What is another word for thesaurus?
<iia> man in the boat?
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 : If you could meet one famous person, dead or alive, who would you meet and what would you do?
<iia> probably someone boring like Hegel or Kant. i'm kind of a nerd. anyone with a legendarily great mind would be fine. i guess einstein would be ok.
<iia> we'd hang out
<cmd102> Question from hrhdaf : half your stories are bug driven and half are about other things.  which style do you prefer?
<iia> i prefer other things. the bug stuff is fun and easy, but i have more and better things to offer. i just have to get used to writing it.
<cmd102> Question from krypt : This is like the most typical question writers get asked, but where/how do you get your ideas?
<iia> i wrote 3k words in my other interview that's way better than anything i can type here in a short period of time, but most of it is from insidious depression and a persistent, nagging eating disorder. whee!
<cmd102> Question from secrets : If you could make a spooky television series which actors and actresses would you want to play the cast?
<iia> patrick stewart and patrick stewart dressed like a woman.
<iia> i like patrick stewart :)
<cmd102> (the interview he mentioned : https://www.reddit.com/r/NoSleepInterviews/comments/4dbrus/april_4th_2016_iia_interview/)
<cmd102> Question from dfryer1193 : What is your favorite genre of book, and why?
<iia> i adore hard science fiction. like, impenetrably hard. Greg Egan is fucking incredible and i couldn't recommend him highly enough. check out "Diaspora." it's utterly astonishing.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Who is your favorite Pokemon, and why is it Bulbasaur?
<iia> i'm too old :( i don't know shit about pokemon.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Could you write a story about sloths?
<iia> yes, but only once i get better about writing non-horror content. i would never, ever write something where a sloth is harmed. i don't even want one in the same story where something bad happens. they're too precious.
<iia> (i..i like sloths)
<cmd102> Question from hrhdaf : you mentioned your depression in your interview. How much do you think it affects your writing?
<iia> the depression is mostly gone, aside from short periods, but the consequences of spending the beginning of my adult life severely, profoundly depressed has definitely seeped into my writing. everything that involves a character harming himself in one way or another is certainly influenced by that decade plus of hideousness
<cmd102> Question from KPants : What's the story with your username?
<iia> was one of my WoW characters a while back. a night elf rogue. never really leveled her. went Horde and never looked back.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : If today was your last day on earth, what would you do after this ama?
<iia> cry until i was dead :D
<cmd102> Question from KPants : What's your favorite band?
<cmd102> Part 2 of that question comes from theephemera : What's your favorite song, today and ever?
<iia> probably Nine Inch Nails. i've never seen them live, though, and it drives me nuts. i'm so close to NYC but i;ve somehow managed to miss every concert. i'm a huge fan of Radiohead pre-2004 and saw them twice. they were amazing.
<iia> favorite song today is Jessica Lange's cover of Lana del Rey's "Gods and Monsters." favorite one ever is "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.
<cmd102> Question from dfryer1193If you could do anything but write or do what you do now, what would you do?
<iia> Anything? i'd be a running back in the NFL. i daydream about it when i'm driving.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson : Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In ten years? In 17 minutes?
<iia> 5 years? published and on the cusp of being able to write for a living. 10 years? moderately well-known in a particular literary genre and living off what i create. 17 minutes? still trying to remember my favorite joke to tell Row
<cmd102> Question from hrhdaf :  if you had to choose between being blind or deaf which way would you go?
<iia> deaf. i can't imagine not being able to see the world around me.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : What's your favorite subreddit aside from the ones you've previously mentioned (nosleep, wtf)?
<iia> Animals Without Necks, Samoyeds, Aww, 5th World Problems, Food
<cmd102> Question from theephemera :  If you had to pick between having your head shaved everyday or shaving someone else's (against their will) what would you do?
<iia> i had a shaved head for years, so i'd just go back to shaving mine again. despite being a horrible person in my writing, the thought of doing something to someone against their will makes me sick to my stomach
<cmd102> Question from hrhdaf : what is the first book you remember reading?
<iia> the first one i actually remember the title of was Ramona Quimby, age 8. i devoured all of those when i was pretty young
<cmd102> Question from kneeod : What story would you like to write that wouldn't be appropriate with nosleep's rules?
<iia> the 25 i've already written in 2016 alone that got removed, lol. but seriously, i don't have a hard time getting the content i want into the framework of the rules if i really like the idea and care enough to modify it
<cmd102> Question from hrhdaf : why do you write horror rather than a different genre?
<iia> it comes easily to me. i don't know why, either. i've never endured any actual trauma and i don't consume much horror media in my day-to-day life, but for whatever reason, it's all that comes out of me. i feel intensely comfortable writing about atrocities
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Where's your favorite place to visit?
<iia> Disney World. going again in July, too! WOOO!
<cmd102> Question from kneeod : If you had to choose one sense to give up in exchange for a superhuman version of one other, what would they be?
<iia> probably taste. i'm so orally fixated as it is, i might as well go all in. go go gadget tongue!
<iia> i'd give up smell, since if my taste is enhanced, i won't lose the flavor component that those who lose their smell have to endure.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : What's your spirit animal?
<iia> quokkas. they're so totes fucking adorbs it hurts my chest.
<cmd102> Question from AtticusJackson (slightly edited by me) : What's your favorite fun anecdote?
<iia> i used to work at a security place, and there were really sophisticated cameras all around the office to show off to customers. we were going through footage with a client and my buddy Luis, at some point the day before, had gotten up behind the boss' secretary without her noticing and stared at the camera while pumping his hips at her. she had no
<iia> idea. we had no idea. but there it was, in beautiful color, on the screen.
<cmd102> Question from hrhdaf : is there anything that you wouldn't write about? that you'd consider going too far with a story?
<iia> i can't really think of a way to artistically justify a character having sex with an infant or something equally disgusting. maybe other authors could figure it out, but i'm not going to bother trying.
<cmd102> Question from KPants :  If you could live in any state within the U.S., which one would you pick?
<iia> New York, since that's where we're moving later this year.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Who would win in a fight? Forest serial killer or the couple from Nests?
<iia> oh absolutely the couple from Nests. the guy is swole as fuck and his wife is just a badass. the forest serial killer is a cowardly asshole who'd get fucked the fuck up
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : In the vein of Disney, which Disney prince or princess are you?
<iia> I'm totally Ariel.
<cmd102> Question from dfryer1193 : what are your top 3 favorite books, ever, in order?
<iia> Still Life with Woodpecker, by Tom Robins, Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher, and The Roald Dahl Omnibus
<cmd102> Semi related question from hrhdaf : Are you influenced by any particular author?
<iia> Clive Barker and Roald Dahl, I think. More the former than the latter, though I wish that could be reversed.
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 : If a movie was made about your life, who would play you?
<iia> Idris Elba. Well, maybe not. Probably Shane Carruth of Primer and Upstream Color fame.
<cmd102> Question from KPants : If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure
<iia> i disagree with the premise. i don't necessarily think absolute power has to corrupt if the person or godlike AI is fundamentally incorruptible
<cmd102> Question from kneeod : Top 3 favorite 90's movies not starring Adam Sandler?
<iia> 90s? Hmmm...
<iia> Cruel Intentions, Terminator 2, and Aladdin
<cmd102> Question from hrhdaf : what is the most positive experience you've had writing on nosleep?
<iia> having people in the comments recognize me from writing other stuff. it blows my mind to know people not only read, but REMEMBER what i write. i still haven't gotten over it.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Would you rather have ass worms or nose worms?
<iia> Ass worms. probably fun to scratch if small enough, or fun for the cat to chase while i run if they're long enough.
<cmd102> Question from KPants : What is the most expensive thing you have ever purchased (not financed)?
<iia> my current macbook pro
<cmd102> Question from kneeod : Fuck, marry, kill: a box of bees, Hillary Clinton, Sophia Vergara
<iia> you already put it in order.
<cmd102> Question from cmd102 (kind of rephrasing a question by hrhdaf) : Has anyone ever recognized your writing in real life? (friend, family member, coworker, etc) What was their reaction?
<iia> Nope, no one. I've been pretty secretive around those who I don't want to see it. I haven't used my full name to credit anything yet, just my first and middle. i'm sure that'll change someday, but i'm okay with it now.
<cmd102> LAST 2 QUESTIONS
<cmd102> Question from kneeod : What one piece of advice would you give to an aspiring author?
<iia> Stop saying you want to write and actually start writing.
<cmd102> Question from theephemera : Do you have any cool or embarrassing family history? (you're allowed to pass if this is too personal)
<kneeod> ((Definitely think I'm gonna ask that for every AMA and then put together a master list of advice when they're through.))
<iia> Can I pass if my answer is boring? Because I don't have any cool or embarrassing family stories. But if this is the last question, it's totally lame to pass. So I
<iia> I'll lie: my dad is Wesley Snipes
<cmd102> Okay folks! The AMA is officially over!