PokéAcademy: The Best Class You'll Ever (Probably Not) Be In

[17:57:35] <~Mons> It is at THIS moment the 20th!
[17:58:16] <~Mons> On the other end of the theater is the overlooked second classroom building, host to POLITICS AND NEGOTIATIONS. One assumes that the class would be, well, classy! Well-appointed!
[17:59:12] <~Mons> Well it isn't. The interior is plain concrete. The dome is kept up at all times. Nothing but a circle of plain desks surrounding the teacher's area--and to be fair, the teacher's seat DOES look pretty nice and squishy.
[17:59:35] * Isabella narrows her eyes as she looks around the classroom, entering.
[18:00:50] * Ali has a pouty face as he finishes sewing a small Keffiyeh to wear on his head. Fortunately there is no one who can set it on fire on sight!
[18:00:53] <~Mons> Each desk seems to have a... drawstring? Oh wait, it's attached to a curtain. How odd.
[18:01:48] * Isabella has a seat without much problem.
[18:02:42] <Ali> Well that is sort of weird! Still, it's the normalest classroom yet, and Ali takes a seat.
[19:14:41] * Aria pets her fluffball, trying her best to look like a James Bond villain.
[19:15:21] * Isabella narrows her eyes as she looks around the classroom, entering.
[19:15:33] * Isabella has a seat once she's in, silently.
[19:15:37] <~Mons> Each desk has no particular material save a single sheet of paper and a single pencil... and a drawstring to pull curtains closed to cover and hide the entire desk.
[19:16:19] <Isabella> "Mm, one of those classes that has a pop quiz on the first day?" she wonders aloud.
[19:16:49] <Aria> ( just a blank sheet of paper? )
[19:17:33] <~Mons> Yep.
[19:17:37] <Aria> "Some sort of essay to prove ourselves or something, I bet."
[19:17:44] <~Mons> ALI WHERE DID YOU GO or are you typan
[19:18:20] <Ali> (Oh uh)
[19:18:34] <Ali> (ASSUME THE FIRST THING I WROTE ON THAT OTHER POLNEG CLASS THING???)
[19:18:47] <~Mons> mmyes, sewing hats
[19:19:18] <~Mons> There are of course a few other people with you, expressions ranging from confused to half-asleep.
[19:19:34] * Isabella humors the setup and pulls her drawstring out of curiosity.
[19:19:47] <~Mons> Well, it works. Can't see shit, shit can't see you.
[19:20:36] <Isabella> "Hmm..."
[19:20:44] <Ali> "Oh, my lovable Aria~" He approaches the dark-haired girl as soon as he finishes sewan his hat. "It has been some time since i last saw you, haven't it?"
[19:20:58] * Isabella opens the curtain again
[19:21:07] <Ali> (Also sorry for the delay, was answering a post elsewhere)
[19:21:07] * Aria smiles sweetly. "Sorry, have we met?"
[19:21:09] <~Mons> Pulls right back up with minimum effort.
[19:22:01] * Isabella examines the materials a moment... waits... and looks again at the teacher's chair.
[19:22:49] <~Mons> Of course, just as the door becomes visible, it SLAMS open. And shut again. A rather portly man in a suit sweeps his eyes across the room, sizing up everyone, before marching his way over to that very chair.
[19:23:10] <Ali> "On the boat?" He looks slightly rejected by that answer, but pokerfacesfor it.
[19:23:29] <Ali> "Don't you remember? I kissed you, didn't i?"
[19:23:34] <Aria> "Oh right! John, nice to see you again~"
[19:23:47] <Aria> "Well a lot of boys kiss me, how am I supposed to remember all of them?"
[19:24:18] <Isabella> "It's a poor sign when you aren't sure who you have or haven't kissed..." she murmurs. Was that to Aria or Ali?
[19:24:40] <~Mons> Fat guy: "I agree. Now shut up."
[19:26:07] <Ali> "Maybe i shall remind you then." A sudden jolt as Ali sweetly holds Aria's back and approaches his lips to hers, kissing her sweetly.
[19:26:28] * Aria uppercuts Ali in the chin.
[19:26:40] <~Mons> The apparent teacher spins around in his chair, stopping abruptly when he reaches that scene.
[19:26:47] <~Mons> And begins to laugh.
[19:26:49] * Isabella_ rolls her eyes and looks at the teacher.
[19:26:50] * Ali bites Aria's tongue due to the impact!
[19:26:55] <~Mons> "YOU! Both of you!"
[19:27:38] * Isabella_ can't help but be a bit amused.
[19:28:34] <~Mons> "Ahaha, beautiful! Though I like the little prince's action more than miss superstar's response... Good decisiveness on both your parts, though, good."
[19:30:09] * Ali reels off, tears of pain forming on his face. "Bwargh... Too viowent, my deaw!"
[19:30:54] <Isabella_> "I thought this was Politics and Negotiation, not Drama~" she says with just a hint of snark at the two.
[19:30:54] <Aria> "Not violent enough."
[19:31:51] <~Mons> "But violence is always the last resort. Anyway, I TOLD you bunch to shut up."
[19:32:05] <Isabella_> In any case she quietens up and listens to the teacher.
[19:32:59] * Aria just crosses her arms indignantly, and waits for class to get underway.
[19:33:01] <Ali> "H-hmph... So you awe ouw *Spit* professor, no?"
[19:34:01] <~Mons> "The name is Mario Coppa, and I will be teaching you to be sneaky, underhanded, and absolutely ruthless. Well, unless you're in here WITHOUT much of an intent to get into the class's subject, in which case you'll probably fail anyway."
[19:34:39] * Isabella_ expected as much
[19:35:44] <~Mons> "You don't need to use the paper, but notes might help. I do request, however, that everyone pull their curtains down."
[19:36:34] * Isabella_ complies.
[19:37:02] * Ali hmphs. It wasn't sort of his own wish to get into this class anyway. Yet, to please his parents and learn how to actually behave as a monarch... He guesses that is necessary, no? A pull of the curtain is down!
[19:37:44] <~Mons> "Good. This way you can listen... but you can't see. It'd be too easy if anyone that knew how to read people just could."
[19:37:47] * Aria pulls the curtains without hesitation.
[19:38:48] <Aria> "Shouldn't we encourage use of such a skill? It's quite useful in being sneaky, underhanded, and absolutely ruthless! So I hear, I'm none of those things of course~"
[19:39:10] <~Mons> "Later. They'll come up when the newguys have a chance."
[19:40:58] <Ali> "Deceit definetely isn't my style. I have to show the others my radiance when i deal with them. Why use underhand methods when you have the true Charisma of a leader?" The prince sparkles even from behind the curtains.
[19:41:48] <Aria> "So you don't get played like a Glorious Sap by someone that DOES have those skills."
[19:42:09] <~Mons> You can hear him getting up from his chair and walking around the room, placing something in front of every desk as he goes around. "Too bad, princey. Now THESE, are voice distorters. When I press the button I have here, everyone, upon speaking, will have anything they speak warped. Everyone will sound identical."
[19:42:23] <~Mons> "Why do I do this much to preserve your anonymity, you may ask?"
[19:43:09] <~Mons> "It's simple. Once I turn it on, I want everyone in the room, one by one, to announce their deepest, most foul, dirty, horrible secret. The one thing nobody would ever look at you the same again for if they knew you did it."
[19:44:18] <Isabella_> (This is inviting horrible things)
[19:44:44] <zoofman> (oh god this is the best class.)
[19:44:56] <Isabella_> 1d100 how horrible
[19:44:56] <DiceMaid-9001> Isabella_, how horrible: 72 [1d100=72]
[19:45:19] <~Mons> "By the end of this class, everyone should be able to look back at the first day, and realize who did what. Probably understand why too."
[19:45:35] <~Mons> "Considering the status and level of some of the people here, I am giving you a very valuable tool to get ahead in life."
[19:45:39] <Ali> (Oh dear)
[19:45:59] <~Mons> He audibly sits down, and then a click. "They're on." PM me what you say.
[19:50:22] <~Mons> Take your time btw, I can understand this being hard
[19:50:38] <Ali> (not for me)
[19:50:53] <zoofman> (let me guess, Ali's actually beatin' it)
[19:51:14] <Ali> (gross! but on that vein)
[19:51:35] <~Mons> Well his hands are definitely on SOME sort of vein
[19:52:05] <Aria> Aria is loving this IC, but her player is busy facepalming so too hard to think of something to say!
[20:04:01] * Ali is waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
[20:04:08] <~Mons> Alright
[20:04:40] <~Mons> One by one, the answers ring out in near-identical robotic staticy monotones. Surprisingly organized.
[20:06:59] <~Mons> "I'm planning on getting one of my roommates drunk this week and taking advantage of them."
[20:06:59] <~Mons> "When I first go to bed with a man, I'll be on bottom."
[20:07:00] <~Mons> "I'm actually a girl!"
[20:07:00] <~Mons> "I sneezed and wiped my hands on the teacher's chair when I came in." --You can hear Mr. Coppa check his back and go "Huh. 's true."
[20:07:00] <~Mons> "Zoroark costumes turn me on."
[20:07:01] <~Mons> "My mighty manliness is not circumcised, as by your savage ways!"
[20:07:01] <~Mons> "I accidentally killed a baby Lapras when I was a kid."
[20:08:41] <~Mons> Mario: "...Very well." Click.
[20:09:07] <~Mons> "They're off. What do you think of each other now? Keep the curtains down."
[20:09:29] <Aria> "I'm keeping my Zorua in my pokeball while in this class from now on."
[20:09:45] * Aria returns her fluffball right then and there >:T
[20:10:20] <Ali> "Lapras are beautiful creatures! I'll personally punish whoever said that last one!" Ali >:Is from behind the curtain.
[20:10:24] <~Mons> "Maaan, the desert kid isn't too subtle, is he?" "Yeah, but neither are you, pothead!"
[20:10:40] <Isabella_> "Most of the people in the class seem dull." she remarks. "There were a couple of interesting answers..."
[20:11:42] * Isabella_ glances at Ali.
[20:11:48] <Isabella_> "I imagine."
[20:12:09] <~Mons> Mario just chuckles quietly. "I wonder, do any of you have any preference in your... targets?"
[20:14:20] <Isabella_> "Perhaps..."
[20:14:41] * Isabella_ is actually curious about who's pretending to be a boy.
[20:15:07] <Ali> "Hmph! J'accuse... The fiery red lady of trying to get me drunk and abusing me!"
[20:15:07] <Aria> "Target?"
[20:15:14] <~Mons> The accused pothead goes "Pfft. I think I can point out the furry as soon as they go up."
[20:15:59] <~Mons> And the accuser, with a lighter voice, replies "I... really wanna know who would actually kill a Lapras."
[20:16:03] <Ali> "Lady Isabella, you know such things are not needed for me~"
[20:16:16] <Aria> "The Prince is obviously the one that wants to take it from behind."
[20:16:31] <Ali> "D'oh!"
[20:16:38] <Ali> "WAIT! CRAP!"
[20:16:46] <~Mons> "No, no, weren't you listening? He's the--HAHAHAHA WHAT"
[20:16:47] * Ali bangs his head on the table.
[20:16:48] <Isabella_> "Ohohoho."
[20:17:01] <~Mons> "Wait, then who was pretending to be him?"
[20:17:12] <Isabella_> "Who indeed."
[20:18:40] <Aria> "Well, I'm sure my father will be proud we're paying good money to learn which of my classmates are into zoroarks or want to be sodomized."
[20:18:56] * Aria says this with a bemused tone rather than an accusatory one.
[20:20:05] <Isabella_> "Mm."
[20:21:29] <Isabella_> "I believe it is important to be able to identify traits in people. This seems like an excellent exercise to begin with on that path - regardless of how interesting the content of said exercise actually is."
[20:24:37] <~Mons> "Now, as you obviously aren't the only junior class this year, I've added your secrets to a list of other ones. Curtains up!"
[20:24:54] * Isabella_ puts her curtain back up
[20:25:08] <~Mons> There's a hologram with the total list displayed. Aside from the ones you've heard, there are--
[20:26:06] * Aria pulls her curtain up too.
[20:26:19] * Ali pulls his curtain up, however is face is covered by a palm. "Nghghhgh..."
[20:27:23] <~Mons> "I'm in love with one of my pokemon."
[20:27:23] <~Mons> "I have absolute eyewitness proof of the existence of an omnipotent, omniscient Arceus, but refuse to show it on moral grounds."
[20:27:23] <~Mons> "I have severe OCD and the first time I had sex I had to shower for 8 hours."
[20:27:23] <~Mons> "I've personally killed someone for bullying me."
[20:27:23] <~Mons> "If I don't make a friend within the year, I've resolved to kill myself."
[20:27:24] <~Mons> "I have every intent of taking over this region by force. I will rule absolutely."
[20:27:20] <~Mons> "I have fantasized about patricide, and every time I end up implicating my mother to remain free."
[20:27:24] <~Mons> "I wish I could marry my sister."
[20:27:24] <~Mons> "There is no me."
[20:27:24] <~Mons> "I'm an alien."
[20:27:25] <~Mons> "I have been spying on the girls changing room since they day I got here, and intend to keep doing so until the day I leave."
[20:29:19] * Isabella_ wrinkles her nose. What kind of person could possibly be lonely enough to kill themselves?
[20:30:24] * Ali slowly lifts his eyebrow from under his palm. It appears the academy is full of burgeoning sociopaths and insane persons!
[20:31:03] <Aria> "Huh."
[20:31:12] <Aria> "That second one is interesting."
[20:31:43] <~Mons> Mario: "I doubt it myself, but then the question becomes: Why choose that lie, and why lie in the first place?"
[20:32:28] <Isabella_> "Perhaps it is a delusion rather than a lie. Or perhaps they are telling the truth. The world is quite the vast place..."
[20:32:30] <Aria> "Oh, a lie certainly, but it's an interesting troll tactic."
[20:34:12] <Aria> "The lie is grand and outrageous, even sacriligeous, but it incenses our desire to understand and know our universe. It's a good lie because we either want to believe it, or want it to be a lie so that we may continue to hold our current worldview ... either way, it stirrs shock and doubt into the mind of the reader!"
[20:35:34] <~Mons> "Nnnn... dunno. I mean, of all the places to find it, wouldn't it be this academy?" Says the accused pothead, when you see him he's a bit chubby himself, short brown hair.
[20:36:19] <Isabella_> "If it happened at this academy, then it was quite quickly. Wasn't this a list from other junior classes?"
[20:37:08] * Aria shrugs.
[20:37:25] <Isabella_> "Either way... this should prove to be a fairly interesting year."
[20:37:25] <Aria> "I think YOU are well aware how quickly strange things can happen, Bella."
[20:37:26] * Aria winks.
[20:37:37] <Isabella_> "Mm, I suppose you're right."
[20:37:58] * Isabella_ just stares off into space at that, thinking.
[20:38:43] <Ali> What are you morons talking about in first place, Ali thinks to himself. Are they trying to make sense of the delusional ramblings of a possible crazyperson?
[20:40:10] <Aria> "I wonder who's going to take this region over by force!"
[20:40:19] <Aria> "That'll be interesting. Hope it happens soon!"
[20:40:40] <~Mons> A mousy girl with shaggy black hair speaks up. "More to the point, isn't a certain one of us getting out easy? I mean... the foreign kid revealed himself! He can speak from an unapproachable position, now that he's already effectively lost! Couldn't he then have lied, just to give him something of an advantage once everyone forgets about it?"
[20:42:09] <Aria> "Yeah, that's the best part about lies isn't it?"
[20:42:13] <Isabella_> "In other words, be suspicious of everything? Let no stone, no gesture go unturned? That is giving quite an amount of credit to Ali..."
[20:43:15] <Isabella_> "What say you about her compliment, Prince?" she asks, amused.
[20:43:30] <~Mons> Mario: "An excellent point. Perhaps the more foolish one seems, the less of a fool they eventually are. At the very least, you grasp a good technique."
[20:44:10] <Ali> "I don't even like the concept of lying in first place!"
[20:44:13] <Aria> "Perhaps something to keep in mind, but ultimately it's a futile and useless technique. For if you assume any admission of truth to be lies, you can never ferret out the truth."
[20:44:39] <Ali> "That being said, if i -were- lying, why would i tell it to you?" He looks a bit insulted for those remarks by Bella.
[20:46:28] <Isabella_> "My my, I don't believe I've ever seen someone get so flustered over a compliment."
[20:51:05] <Aria> "Well. Quite the first session."
[20:51:58] <Isabella_> "Is that all?" she sounds a bit disappointed.
[20:52:04] <~Mons> Mario: "Hmhmhm. We aren't exactly done. With this in mind, now, what I want you to do is form up into teams, see..."
[20:52:04] <~Mons> The remainder of the class is taken up with various forms of basic debate.
[20:52:27] <Aria> "Oooh. Neato. Let me get the Prince while his cheeks are still all red."
[20:52:43] * Aria takes a picture of Ali, then one of Bella, then one of Mario!
[20:53:19] <Aria> 3#1d20+7
[20:53:20] <DiceMaid-9001> Aria, 3#1d20+7: 21 [1d20=14], 24 [1d20=17], 17 [1d20=10]
[20:53:33] <Ali> "Umu!"
[20:53:35] * Isabella_ does a hairflip for the photo.
[20:53:48] <~Mons> "I would ask you to refrain from doing this in class in the future... interesting as it could be."
[20:54:10] <Aria> "Photography? If you like, sir."
[20:54:11] * Ali pouts at ISabella's remark, and his picture is taken while making a... >3< face.
[20:54:12] * Aria smiles :D
[20:55:15] * Ali is too depressed and shamed to even try to woo the girls. Perhaps he WILL have to kill himself later this year...
[20:55:59] <Aria> "Anyway, let's get this debate started!"
[20:56:08] <Ali> Or smoke some weed. Or put that Zoroark costume he sew earlier... Or maybe clean his uncut dong. Or shower.
[20:56:43] <Ali> Or maybe even not clean his dong as he maybe doesn't have one??? It's a mistery! In any case, debate it is~
[20:57:01] <Happymancer> (Mystery)
[20:58:01] <DamienLunas> (just shut up and go do your milotic)
[20:58:28] <Ali> (Kirlia)
[20:59:14] <Isabella_> ~