The Shitstorm Begins

Dungeon Master

I don't know why people were working on the god-children bit, at least not to that extent, before confirming with me that we'd be doing that. I definitely don't dislike the idea, though. If this season is treated well, i.e. not fought by the players at every moment like last semester's was, then I fully expect that we'll have enough time to finish it completely in one season, and then we can go out with a bang for my last season (albeit perhaps not our last altogether, thanks to DJ Clammaster).

I expect everyone to be starting off at level one. It makes sense for a bunch of young people in a small settlement that haven't done much with their lives yet except for subsist. You aren't born under a special star. You aren't blessed by the gods. You also aren't cursed or occupied. You are just a bunch of nobodies trying desperately to become legends.

As for specific occupations, run it by me first, but it's probably a pass as long as it at least makes sense for a member of a settlement as bare-bones as a thorp (e.g. cleric as a healer, druid with knowledge nature for gathering herbs and spices, ranger with training and keeping animals, etc., but not the rogue doing spellcraft or anything silly like that).

As for what kind of druid you can be, what do you mean? I don't expect you to be playing a blight druid, if that's what you mean. Beyond that, I don't know the types of druids of which you are thinking.

Yes, DM’s Wife, you can be the sorcerer if you'd like. We'll go over that together.

No, they are not worshipping Dagon. Part of the impetus for this season is my desire to make an epic tale without the easy-made, microwaveable kind. You have to actually build it from scratch, putting your heart into it, rather than just having a character be special from the beginning.

We are just South of the frozen wastes. There are no whales.
===
Irrelevant stuff about location, races, DM not allowing homebrew
===
---
Private chat with DM & Clanjos
Clanjos
Look. I think this needs to be said. This will mean we have played as level 1 characters three seasons in a row. The first time, our memories were wiped, invalidating backstories of our characters as we rattled down a set of railroad tracks that destroyed everything we worked for with no alternate paths. The second, we were in the real world, started as less than worthless, no class levels or stats, and were forced to do increasingly out-of-character things in the name of the plot while not doing ANYTHING that required class features, and at one point Mike and I got punished when we tried to use them. I'm not asking for an Epic-level campaign, here. I'm just tired of playing a character who could be anything from a level 1 cleric to a level six hundred and ninety seven commoner. Maybe we could start out as town militia, or a bunch of wizard apprentices, but I just don't think I'd get as much enjoyment out of another campaign that starts at level 1- or one that leaves martial characters with nothing to do.


DM
The first of those seasons is wholely my fault, and I admit to it, but I cannot stress how frustrated you and Mike made me as you fought me tooth and nail everywhere we went. It could have gone a lot better for you with some decent cooperation. See Stanley Parable here. "Ohhh, my story. If you had just gone through the door on the left you would have seen it. There was a whole underground facility. You would have destroyed it and been victorious."

(For the record, some of this "struggling" included my character attacking the DM's wife's character for having glowing red eyes, a spinning head, and gravelly voice because those are symptoms of possession.)
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Beardguy
5:05pm
If a sorcerer is allowed, is a blood-line based warlock allowed? They have some of my favorite non-combat abilities. Flight, Invisibility, possible water-breathing, Or is a dark demonic blood-line too un-quaint for a village?

prehaps a fey-related warlock

DM
5:07pm
Very much so. I'd like no more than about one or maybe two of you to be so lucky as to be born with anything out of the ordinary. I'm allowing it for the sorcerer because they aren't getting any help from anyone who could teach them, at least not at first.

DM's Wife
5:07pm
I call it!

Beardguy
5:07pm
Which very much so: Very much so it's allowed or very much so it's too un-quaint?

Newguy
5:08pm
Are we going underground this season?

DM
5:11pm
Very unquaint. We probably will go underground at some point in the season.


Newguy
5:20pm
It depends on what I can find. I figured a druid might be cool but I can find something else. I just need DM's mark of approval first
Mike
5:20pm
Mike

BTW, DM, by your remark about the sorcerer, I assume that you're limiting the magic available to us 3 magic-users.
DM
5:21pm
DM

For now.

===
Excised randomness. Here the stupid begins anew.
===

Of note is that everyone in the thorp is part of the same religion, the "church" of the village, which worships a harvest god that blesses the crops with great abundance multiple times every season. They also obviously know that magic exists, but only that of the clerical order in the town.

Because the harvests are so great, a few thorpspeople can specialize in crafts normally unseen in such a tiny settlement. There is pottery and weaving, as well as a little art and music. Metal is known of from the occasional traveler's wares, although there are no smiths.

Clanjos
6:33pm
Okay, I have something to say here.

You don't just "hear" of metal. It is literally the biggest technological advancement since fire.

DM
6:33pm
If I missed someone, then they can take the monk, because I think that Doug's set on the ranger.

DM
6:34pm
Having no mining, the thorpspeople cannot find or smith it, so it is still somewhat exotic to them.

Newguy
6:34pm
I will have a lovely garden

And a pet spider

And a ranger as a friend

And cake

Lots of cake

DM
6:35pm
If the pet spider just sits there and looks creepily cool, then that's cool.

I'm sure that your animal companion will be a bit bigger than that. (^_^)

Newguy
6:35pm
He doesn't do much

I was hoping that he would be a giant tarantula

DM
6:37pm
There's a beautiful PDF with lots of great animal companions that are all official to 3.5

Why do I love the word "beautiful" so much today?

Newguy
6:37pm
Because it's a beautiful day

DM
6:38pm
Oui

Clanjos
6:39pm
So I'm curious. What are their houses made of? Their farming implements? Are there no surface ore deposits, which is literally impossible? Given that this is D&D, how do they defend themselves from bandits, goblins, orcs, kobolds, and undead?

Honestly, this sounds less like "you're from a thorp" and more like "you're cavemen."
===
Newguy asks if he can have a large viper animal companion, he likes snakes.
===
DM6:46pm
DM

One question at a time, man.

Wood. Wood and stone. Not anymore, at least. The harvest god defends them, plus they have wood, stone, clerics, and monks. Additionally, they have some metal implements from passing travelers, mostly weapons but including some farm tools like scythes and shovels.

They are not too unlike the most rural of elves, which forsake civilized society and stick to mostly wood.

Clanjos
6:51pm
I have a question: Have you heard of the steppe tribes?

DM
6:52pm
I don't think so.

Since it's in the group, that's directed to everyone, I take it?

Clanjos
6:55pm
The Steppe Tribes, once upon a time, were nomadic empires. They have no set location, no homes. They had four things: horses. Tents. a nomadic lifestyle. And some of the best weapons of the age. A nomadic people could turn out metalworking fairly easily with enough regularity to outfit the Mongol hordes. I'm just saying, it's a general rule that any post-stone age settlement is going to have a smithy or it's going to die out.

Clanjos
6:56
Honestly, this is just me nitpicking because I've had to do long essays about this for an anthropology class.

===
brief discussion of Steppe Nomads
===
Clanjos
7:05pm
But... can I at least ask that we don't leave combat characters out to dry?

DM
7:07pm
Drawn out combat is the problem. Spells that fry in an instant? Sweet. Stunning attacks followed by binding or at least surrounding them? Awesome. Disarming them to make their fighting back basically impossible? Too good. Ten rounds of rolling dice with long pauses between people speaking? Not s much.

Clanjos
7:12pm
D&D is a dungeon crawling system, developed from a Wargame. It's gotten more stat-oriented and technical over time, but it's still fundamentally based around fighting. If you want to do a storytelling system, alright- use something from White Wolf, or Dungeons the Dragoning. But I'm a fighter. I DO combat. I might as well just show up without a character sheet, I'd be every bit as useful.

Beardguy
7:12pm
You don't have to be a fighter...

DM
7:12pm
Or that kind of fighter.

Beardguy
7:13pm
You keep saying, "My martial character is now useless!" but all you ever make are martial characters.

DM
7:14pm
It is going to be more than 50% story, so take that into consideration. This is radio. We can't run this like a campaign at my place or Dragon Star. That fact overrides normal concerns.

There is a rule of television that states "Don't do math on camera." Why? It's boring and you lose the audience. Same concept applies here.

That's why I like trap-oriented dungeons and diplomatic encounters over straightup brawls. That actually can't end quickly.

Beardguy (is a math major)
7:19pm
I'd watch math on camera...

I in fact have.

Newguy
7:20pm
I would too

Math is fun

And interesting

And useful

DM
7:20pm
Only certain kinds, not some suit trying to count the number of days until the election or some other classic case like that.

Competitive math is different. It's exciting

Clanjos
7:21pm
I make martial characters because in a party there are roles that need to be filled and in this case, there is a hard limit on casters.

Mike
7:21pm
And this (D&D) isn't competitive math?

DM
7:21pm
Very true.

It isn't.
Beardguy
7:26pm
Beardguy

You can play a non combat-oriented martial character.

Also, you could play the monk.

VoP monk

Eventually you don't even need to breathe.
DM
7:26pm
DM

That is still available.
Clanjos
7:27pm
Clanjos

I have advice from a friend on Minmaxboards.
DM
7:27pm
DM

Oh god.
Clanjos
7:27pm
Clanjos

"Trying to cater to a radio audience when you were allowed on air with unadulterated D&D, well... Basically, if you weren't cancelled after the first season, trying to pander to a normal radio audience is pointless. Stick to dungeon crawling, adventuring, strangely missed world-threatening plots, treasure, and lots and lots of d20's."
DM
7:28pm
DM

I'm fine with all but the last one.
Beardguy
7:28pm
Beardguy

meeeehhhhh, I'm going to stick with DM on this one
DM
7:29pm
DM

They aren't correct in saying that pandering is pointless. It may be the case that we're still here, but we're also on college radio at 3pm. In the daytime, we'd have to get our act together or be cancelled.

3am
Beardguy
7:30pm
Beardguy

we technically aren't on at 3am
DM
7:31pm
DM

We usually bleed over a bit, though.

The overall trend is that we've gotten better over time, even though we sometimes have our moments and regress.
Beardguy
7:32pm
Beardguy

If we do dungeon crawl, it's going to have to be with characters that are mostly just BAM BAM BAM it's dead. Things which are fast-paced and leave few holes.
DM
7:32pm
DM

Or dodging creatures that go BAM BAM BAM.
Beardguy
7:33pm
Beardguy

Which, ironically, is something that many min-maxed builds can do wonderfully.

You just need the RIGHT min-maxed builds.
DM
7:33pm
DM

That's why I think that disarming or sundering fighters would work nicely here.

You don't even have to kill them to end it quickly.
Beardguy
7:33pm
Beardguy

Or repeating, twinned, greater arcane fusion, arcane fusion magic missiles

that insta-kill gods with force damage
Clanjos
7:34pm
Clanjos

From the Minmaxboards"... seriously, never listened because of time concerns initially and just never being around at the start since, but I have no interest in tuning in to hear an improvised storytelling session. D&D? Now, sure. I mean, it's CALLED Parties & Parodies. If it stops being D&D, what the hell is the point? "
DM
7:34pm
DM

You're starting at level one. You can build that, but we're a ways away from that right now.
Clanjos
7:34pm
Clanjos

Copy/pasted directly.
Beardguy
7:35pm
Beardguy

There are many styles of d&d, it's not all kick-down the door.
DM
7:35pm
DM

Poor guy doesn't know what he's missing.
Clanjos
7:35pm
Clanjos

Girl, actually.
Beardguy
7:35pm
Beardguy

There's a reason the phrase "kick down the door" d&d exists, because there are other alternatives.
DM
7:35pm
DM

Poor girl, then.
Clanjos
7:55pm
Clanjos

It's not like Mike and I are looking for a pure combat game. It's just all we've gotten since last season is story and we have nothing to break that up. It's not even a story we can affect- no matter what we do, we'll always achieve the exact outcome you desire in the exact fashion you desire. I admit it, I enjoy 3.5's combat. But I also enjoy when the game takes into consideration the desires of players. That's really a large part of this. I feel like a setpiece, not a player.
DM
8:06pm
DM

In every other setting save for last season, and even then to a certain extent, we've always been like most characters that players create: chosen, not made. By the players' given backstory and choices making them, they are destined for victory. Even those who struggled and built themselves from nothing only have it written in their backstory. These characters have to actually become the hero. Rather than taking away your agency, this requires it of you, in a sense.

If you work with me, then I'll work with you. I actually don't want the entire story to be predetermined either, but having some direction gives us a way to pace ourselves and make sure that we both hit some major highlights in the story and end at, well, the end.
DM
9:26pm
DM

Clanjos, I am one inch away from letting you go, as I've been thinking about how you apparently have been actively trying to get people to not listen to the show. I won't have a repeat of last season, either, where working with certain people was basically like pulling teeth. If that's any indication of what's to come, then please just let me know now.
DM
9:27pm
DM

In the public chat because the pulling teeth bit is about more than just you.
Clanjos
10:12pm
Clanjos

Look. I'll admit that I'm insulted by the mere suggestion that I am sabotaging the show. But right now, I think that we all need to sit down, as a group, and talk about what we want from the show going forward. Facebook isn't a very good medium for this sort of thing.
DM
10:19pm
DM

"Please wait" does not a denial make.

You certainly at least implied that you were sabotaging the show. I couldn't find such a thread on minmaxboards, so I assumed that this was in messages only.

f anything like this happens again, then I'll do what I have to do. Enough with the petty drama.
DM
10:19pm
DM

There's no need for any discussion to make me change my mind on this; it's settled.
Bit later, timestamps didn’t copy.
DM
There's no need to go about asking people you know will give you the answer you want to make a point, especially when made all the worse in this way.
DM
So you're going to be what, Clanjos? I still have you down as a fighter, but I wasn't sure if that's where you'd stay.
Mike
DM, you seriously need to calm down about this. Seriously, no one was really happy about last season. It wasn't all the 'no combat' issue, either. We went in not knowing what was happening other than 'real world, make your self-insert, magic will kinda be a thing', then be told multiple times during the season that we couldn't use the very class features that we had.
DM
I've one more year to do this show, and maybe not even that long. I've been more than lenient in letting people off of the hook. If this were a syndicated show, then suffice to say that I wouldn't even have my own wife on, and the odds aren't much better for most of you. I could rattle off the problems with us, each of us, for quite a while if I had to. We get the freedom, however, to be less scripted, more creative and spontaneous, than we would otherwise. People with bad radio voices, who interrupt others, who complain about everything, who raise their voice and don't respect the volume caps, who walk out numerous times during the show for no good reason, who fall asleep every other time that they're on, who get distracted by their computer and phone to the point where they can't play, who bring their drama onto the show...and you know that I could go on. This ragtag bunch of ours is still in one piece, somehow. I'm more than willing to overlook these things, as I have for so long, until they reach a breaking point. It's finally been found. Don't make me do something that I don't want to do.
DM
After a certain point, there's no reason to keep people other than nepotism, though. I've done that before, but I'd like to say that I'm done with that now.
DM
Statistically speaking, you've most likely gained a new vocabulary word.
Yami
Okay, this is bordering on insulting.
DM
This? Could you be a little more specific, please?
Yami
Your last post was completely unnecessary.
DM
About the vocabulary word? Most people don't know that word.
DM
Nepotism, that is.
Mike
But we aren't most people, DM.
Yami
Still, it's unnecessary to point that out.
Newguy
Showing favoritism towards family?
DM
Sure you are. How am I supposed
Yami
It makes you seem like you're saying that you are smarter than us.
Mike
Nepotism isn't a new word to most of us.
DM
to know what words a given group of college students know?
Mike
If not all.
DM
It certainly is to most people. Statistically speaking, you would have learned a new word. That statement is still true, even if you already knew the meaning of the word.
Yami
I'm not debating the credibility of what you said, I'm simply stating that it was unnecessary to point out.
DM
DM’s wife finds it funny that that is what you are getting upset at. I find it relieving.
Yami
Did I say I wasn't upset with anything else?
DM
Humor doesn't translate well via text, I know.
Mike
No, sarcasm doesn't translate well via text. Humor is humor.
DM
1 = 1, too. Humor doesn't translate well via text either.
DM’s wife
That the nepotism thing was the first thing that was jumped on humored me.
Yami
It's the only safe thing to jump on in this field of passive aggressive landmines.
Mike
^
DM
Now this is just silly. I'm not sure if you guys melting down is a necessary catharsis or a letter of resignation.
Mike left the conversation.
Yami
That would be a letter of resignation.
DM
Then I'll assume the former for you, Khain. I'll see you guys two nights from now, late and loving it. For all of our sakes, I suggest that everyone get a nice, relaxing nap before the show so that this doesn't happen again, at least not then.
DM
With any luck, he'll be back soon.