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- Originally posted by Ŧŵĩļịģħŧ Mễŗčǘŗŷ on 4chan's /mlp/.
- >You live alone in a quiet suburb.
- >Your house is too big for you but you never found "the one" to make it a home.
- >Watching TV one night you see a familiar commercial.
- >It's about the urgent need for homeowners to adopt fluffy ponies from crowded animal shelters.
- >Normally you get up for another beer when it's on, or thumb through the TV guide but this time you pay closer attention.
- >Ellen DeGeneres is explaining how unwanted fluffies are just as often abandoned as brought to shelters, many perishing before they receive adequate care.
- >For only a dollar a day, you can bring home a fluffy pony and give her a second chance.
- >Before the commercial ends, Ellen holds a fluffy pony gently in her arms.
- >It licks her tenderly on the cheek before looking at the camera with it's big green eyes.
- >Please, don't delay. Call now. There's no obligation, and we will send you all the information you need so you can make your decision. With a little spare change, you can change the life of a fluffy pony.
- >You feel a pang in your gut.
- >Maybe...maybe this is what you need - the companionship of an adorable fluffy pony.
- >You resolve to visit the shelter on Saturday to bring a fluffy pony into your life.
- >The weekend finally comes and you haven't forgotten your promise.
- >You drive to the shelter, not really knowing what to expect.
- >When you enter, the small waiting area is clean and brightly lit.
- >A wire and bead toy, and a box of Duplo blocks sit on a carpet nearby - a distraction for children while parents complete adoption paperwork.
- >You're the only person there, except for a young female volunteer behind a desk cluttered with carbon copy forms and continuous printer paper - the kind with the edges you can tear off.
- >She greets you warmly and asks how she can help you.
- >You tell her about the Ellen DeGeneres commercial, and that you want to adopt a fluffy.
- >She pauses before softly saying "yes, of course. Please, come this way".
- >She raises a section of the desk so you can enter the Employees Only area in the back where the animals are kept.
- >Rows of wire cages stacked two high line either wall of the corridor.
- >Cages meant for no more than two fluffies all have at least four.
- >Fluffies have to squeeze around each other to get to food dishes heaped with spaghetti.
- >You notice many of the fluffies have wet feet.
- >You ask why.
- >The volunteer explains that they can't avoid stepping in their water dishes because of the overcrowding.
- >"Oh."
- >You feel another pang of sadness.
- >You briefly consider adopting more than one but fear the impact on your budget.
- >She tells you to please look over the fluffies while she excuses herself to change soiled water dishes.
- >Despite the cramped conditions, the fluffy ponies appear healthy and well fed. They have brightly colored coats and expressive eyes.
- >As you approach the cages, the fluffies crowd to the front to get closer to you.
- >The ones in the front press up against the wire mesh, their fluffy coats poking through.
- >The ones in the back stand up on their hind legs, propping their forelegs up on the haunches of the fluffies in front.
- >Some of them try to jump up and down to get your attention.
- >Some of them are shivering nervously.
- >They look up at you with their big colorful eyes and start chattering at you in baby talk.
- >"Pway wif me?"
- >"Can I go wif you mister?"
- >"My leggies are cold!"
- >After around 20 minutes, you come to the last set of cages.
- >A bright orange fluffy rushes to the front of the cage, squeezing in between two others.
- >She bumps her head on the steel mesh.
- >She looks dazed for a moment and then speaks. "Owwie!"
- >You hold your hand up to the cage to see if she's alright.
- >She licks your hand through the mesh and looks up at you with big green eyes - just like the pony from the commercial.
- >"Pway! Pway!" She exclaims.
- >This is the one.
- >You've made your decision.
- >You go find the volunteer girl to tell her you've picked out the fluffy you want.
- >She smiles at you. "That's great!"
- >You lead her back to the cage with the orange fluffy with the green eyes.
- >She opens the latch and reaches in to retrieve the orange fluffy.
- >The others are squirming around, trying to escape through the open door.
- >She has to awkwardly elbow them aside to get to the one you picked.
- >Finally she gets the orange one safely out of the cage.
- >She asks you if you want to hold your new fluffy pony.
- >"Oh, yes please!"
- >She briefly explains how to handle her so she can't squirm out of your arms.
- >Finally you're holding your own fluffy pony!
- >She's softer than the softest cashmere you've ever touched.
- >You ask the girl if this one already has a name.
- >She shakes her head. "There's really no point for us to name them. They just forget their own names after a while if they don't hear them anyway."
- >You already know what you want to name her.
- >You look into your orange fluffy's green eyes.
- >"I'm gonna call her Pumpkin."
- >The girl smiles at you. "It's a good name."
- >Pumpkin smiles and exclaims triumphantly, "Pway!"
- >You touch her on the nose and say "Every day Pumpkin, every day."
- >She sneezes.
- >It's the most adorable thing you've ever heard.
- >You tear up at the sound of it.
- >You walk back to the front desk, past the rows of cages.
- >Fluffies are still trying to get your attention.
- >"Pway! Pway!"
- >You have to will yourself to keep moving forward.
- >You hold Pumpkin a little tighter, but not too tight as the girl warned you about.
- >She takes a seat behind the desk, and explains there's a $35 processing fee that covers the cost of paperwork, and your fluffy's shots.
- >She advises you to also buy a fluffy pony starter kit for another $70, so you don't have to buy everything piecemeal from a pet store.
- >You agree that it's a good idea, and thank her for her helpfulness.
- >You ask if the shelter accepts credit cards.
- >"Of course," she replies.
- >She takes an impression of your card with a manual imprinter and hands you a carbon copy of the credit card slip.
- >She produces a few papers stapled together.
- >"The adoption papers," she explains. "We just need some information about you and a few signatures before you can take Pumpkin home. It'll take about ten minutes."
- >"Absolutely," you reply. "Is it OK if I put Pumpkin in the car first?"
- >"Of course," she answers.
- >You take the starter kit out to the parking lot and put it in the trunk of your car, before returning for Pumpkin.
- >You open the passenger side door and set her down gently on the car seat.
- >You kneel down in front of her
- >"I'll be right back Pumpkin. Daddy has to sign a few things, before we can go to your new home."
- >Pumpkin smiles a big fluffy smile and asks, "Daddy pway wif Pumpkin?"
- >She already knows her own name! Maybe she's smarter than the average fluffy, you hope.
- >You smile back at her.
- >"Very soon Pumpkin. Now be a good girl and wait for Daddy."
- >She obediently lies down on the car seat.
- >You close the door carefully, so as not to startle her, and go back in to fill out the paperwork.
- >The volunteer girl smiles brightly at you as she hands you your copy of the completed papers ten minutes later.
- >"Thank you for making a difference in a fluffy's life."
- >"Please, the pleasure is all mine," you reply.
- >You stride out of the shelter, papers in hand, ready to take your Pumpkin home with you.
- >From the shelter door you can see her head poking up in the window, looking for you.
- >You jog to the car and get behind the wheel.
- >Pumpkin rushes over to you and hugs you with her little orange leggies.
- >"Let's go home Pumpkin."
- >You pull out of the parking lot, while Pumpkin falls asleep on your leg, the motion of the car gently rocking her to sleep.
- (Pumpkin lives to the ripe old age of 25 years before dying of natural causes).
- (Also, I guess you eventually started dating the volunteer from the shelter. You got married and had a boy and a girl. They were very cute children.)
- There, reposted.
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