Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu: Tailyellow Drama CD English TL

Ore, Twintail ni Narimasu.
"Erina's Determination: I want to express this feeling!"

Erina: Today...Surely, today I'll correctly express myself!
Aika: What's up?
Erina: Wh--!? Tsube-san...
Thouars: Hello~! I'm here too~
Erina: But why? The two of you...all of a sudden...
Aika: This is the middle of the hallway. Not to mention you're muttering something right in front of my classroom.
Erina: ...B...By the way, where's...Mitsuka-kun?
Aika: In the clubroom already. Thouars and I are both on cleanup duty, but Souji alone doesn't have to clean. (TL Note: 'Souji' is also 'cleaning' in Japanese, which is why...)
Thouars: S....S....SOUJI-SAMA AND YET NOT ON SOUJI-TOUBAN! (lit: He's Souji-sama and yet he's not on cleaning duty)
Aika: I wonder what this uneasy feeling is... I wonder if I'd feel better if I crammed a telephone pole right through that vulgarly-laughing mouth of hers...
Erina: Ts...Tsube-san...
Aika: Well, Prez, we've gotta finish up the cleaning so we'll see you later, okay? *hefts Thouars*
Thouars: Stop it, Aika-san! This isn't a broom, it's just Thouars-chan turned upside-down! Ahh, stop it, don't sweep with me! It burns! It buuuurns!
Erina: U-Understood! Both of you, do your best with the cleaning!

Erina: Mistuka-kun!
Souji: Whoa, what's with the sudden entrance and all the huffing and puffing?
Erina: *closes door behind her* I ran all the way here... So my breath...
Souji: Are you okay, Erina?
Erina: (BUSTAH WOLF!!!) When...When Mitsuka-kun says me name, I get all...! Ah...!
Souji: ...Ehh...?
Erina: But...being out of breath like this in front of you...for some reason, it calms me down.
Souji: *AHEM* Let's take a deep breath and calm down.
Erina: ...Okay... But really, I'm quite fine now.
Souji: Hrm... So, why did you have to get here so quickly?
Erina: That's because...um...
Souji: Hm?
Erina: Um... The truth is... Today, I wanted to--
*Secret Base locker teleporter activates and slams open*
Miharu: Sou-chan!?
Souji: Oh, mom!
Miharu: This place is...?
Erina: Mi-Mitsuka-kun's mother!
Souji: What's wrong, mom, showing up all of a sudden...
Miharu: I heard it... resounding in my head, a voice telling me to save the world! And then, when I turned the handle on the door of destiny... I found myself here. It appears I've been summed to this alternate dimension as a warrior of justice! My goodness, I'm but a humble cafe owner and yet... that normal everyday existence is finally coming to a close, isn't it?
Souji: This isn't another dimension, it's just the clubroom. And it's not the 'door of destiny' or being 'summoned', you just teleported here using the dimensional transfer gate in the secret base didn't you? Jeez... You're always like this, mom... It's started to affect some of our customers lately you know!
Erina: Affecting the customers...?
Souji: Yeah. All of a sudden we're getting 'vampires' and 'time leapers' and 'internationally-renowned hackers'...
Erina: Is...is that true!? That's amazing! That's the Cafe Adolescenza for you!
Souji: No, no, no, no, they're not real, they're just pretending to be those things! They're people who are still affected by their middle-school delusions.
Miharu: I'd give that some pause. Just now I performed a feat of time and space and realized myself to be in this high school clubroom! ...Come to think of it, what day is it? Year, month, date!? ...Eh? My body's returned to the way it was when I was in high school!
Souji: No it hasn't. In any case I'm bring the conversation back to where it was!
Erina: Um...Mitsuka-kun's mother? Did you have any other duties to fulfill?
Miharu: Duties? Not really.
Erina: Excuse me?
Miharu: I just thought I should check out the Twin Tail Club's clubroom at least once. That's why I'm here!
Souji: I figured that'd be it.
Miharu: Hmmmm~? I figured it'd be more mecha-like, but it looks pretty normal to me.
Erina: Yes, well... if necessary monitors and consoles will appear but in order to mask its true nature from the regular students it remains camoflauged like this most of the time. It's all thanks to Thouars-san!
Miharu: I see! But a clubroom, huh...? All these bittersweet memories come rushing back to me... Haah. Smells like teen spirit.
Erina: Speaking of that, what sorts of club activities were you a part of in high school, Miharu-san?
Miharu: None in particular. I was part of the 'go-home club', but...hm? Hmmm?
Souji: Now what?
Miharu: Taking in the situation...the two of you alone in a clubroom after school? Hooh... My child has grown up right! Your mother is so proud!
Souji: Well yeah, I do intend to hold club activities as normal, so...
Miharu: Sigh... my son, and yet so brilliantly dense. Truly herotic, isn't he?
Erina: Um...mother? Even if you are his guardian, outsiders without proper visitor registration cards must, um...
Miharu: Yes, yes, I understand. It appears I got in the way, so I'm sorry about that Rina-chan. I'll leave the rest to you young lovebirds...ufufu~
Erina: Th-that's not what I meant...!
Mikoto: Ojou-sama!
Souji: Sakuragawa-sensei!
Miharu: Oh my, you're...
Mikoto: Mikoto Sakuragawa. Ah yes, I came here looking for ojou-sama but if Mitsuka-kun's mother is here then this is perfect. Please sign this. *hands over marriage application*
Miharu: What's this? Oh my, a marriage registration form? And the names are already filled out! 'Souji Mitsuka and Mikoto Sakuragawa'...
Mikoto: Mother...do you not have the Mitsuka official stamp on you? If not then the guardian's signature is equally acceptable! If I have that, then even though he's underage I can still--!
Erina: No, you can't! I've never heard of a corollary to the law such as that!
Souji: Yeah, your explanation's all over the place!
Miharu: Oh, but I hear having an older woman as a wife can be pretty exciting~! Right~?
Mikoto: Yes, absolutely! Ehehehe~!
Souji: What's up with this perfectly-synchronized evil laughter...?
Erina: Uh...UM!
Mikoto: What appears to be the matter, ojou-sama?
Erina: I...that is...
Mikoto: Yes?
Erina: I came here today...because I had something incredibly important I needed to say to Mitsuka-kun!
Souji: Incredibly important?
Erina: Yes! I was thinking it would be all right if we moved to the next step in our relationship...! If...If Mitsuka-kun is all right with it, that is...
Mikoto: O...Ojou-sama... You don't mean...!?
Miharu: It's finally happening! Congratulations, Sou-chan!
Souji: Eh? What is?
Miharu: A girl is telling you she has 'something incredibly important to tell you'. You understand what that means without someone spelling it out, don't you? I mean, if it's all right with you then even this maid, though she's a bit on in the years... I'd be okay with signing this marriage registration for you... But if you have a choice, younger is better!
Mikoto: Mitsuka-kun's mother...! Even if my rival is ojou-sama, that's just too...! Besides, that marriage registration is perfectly vali--...M-Mother!
Miharu: I thought this maid-san might be okay, but... Thinking about it, to put it in movie terms she's like a 'recent release'. And when it comes to movies, new releases are best!
Mikoto: ...recent...I'm just recent...just recent...
Miharu: *crushes the marriage form into a ball* Let the popcorn flow! *...and eats it*
Mikoto: Ahhhhh! That's not popcorn, that was my marriage registration form...! Besides, where did this film commentary even...ugh! Even though I'd finally obtained it... to see that more precious than my life, that which I'd seen in dreams--the legally-validated marriage registration form be eaten in front of me...!
Souji: I'm telling you, it wasn't legally valid!
Erina: Everyone! I...right now, I'm going to tell Mitsuka-kun what I came here to say, so...But before that, Mitsuka-kun. In order to make you happy, I learned this from my mother!
Mikoto: O-Ojou-sama, that dance is...!
Souji: E-Erina? Suddenly you're dancing? What are you even...
Erina: Mitsuka...kun...!
Souji: THE TWINTAILS!! They're like their own separate being...so gorgeous...! No good...I can't tear my eyes away...and I'm starting to feel really...turned on...!
Miharu: What's up with that dance? Spinning around like that, it's hard to tell if you're trying to be erotic or just...
Erina: Yes...well...this dance apparently has an effect...on men who are fond of twintails... Watching this dance... they become excited... and become able to understand a woman's begging and...start panting...
Miharu: I think the 'excited' you're thinking of is different from the one that dance was intended for... But this means Sou-chan will finally...graduate!
Mikoto: Ojou-sama... To think that while I was lacking in attention you grew into such a splendid woman..!
Erina: Mmmmmmmitsuka-kun~
Souji: TWINTAIL TWINTAIL TWINTAIL!!
Miharu: ...! This must be the 'ancient Twintailian' I've heard about! His will has been completely bent by that suspicious dance!
Erina: Mitsuka-kun...
Souji: TWINTAIL...TWINTAIL TWINTAIL!
Erina: I... have a request for you~ Mitsuka-kun... Instead of 'Mitsuka-kun', may I call you 'Souji'!?
Miharu: Ah, that's what you meant? How pure you are~!
Erina: I've wanted to...tell you that for so long...! And instead of 'Prez'...you started calling me 'Erina', after all...! Ever since, I've wanted to call you 'Souji' instead of 'Mitsuka-kun'...!
Souji: Twintail twintail twintail! TWINTAIL! TWINTAIL TWINTAIL TWINTAIL TWINTAIL TWINTAAAAAAAAILLLL!!
Erina: Thank you, Mitsuka-kun...NO! That's not it any longer! SOUJI~!

Erina: And yet, after all that...I'm still unable to bring myself to call Mitsuka-kun 'Souji'. It's just so embarrassing... But, someday, I want to call him 'Souji'! In order to prepare for that day, I must hone these twintails every single day! Besides, something else happened. Apparently that dance's effects were just too strong, so Mitsuka-kun still has some lasting symptoms...
Souji: Twintail? Twintail, twintail. Twintail twintail...twin...tailtail. Twintwintail? Twintail!
Miharu: Sou-chan! An Elemerian's appeared, so Thouars wants you to come to the base...
Souji: Twintail!?
Aika: Let's go, Souji! ...He'll be okay, right?
Souji: Twintail. Twintail TWINTAIL!
Erina: I'm so sorry, Mitsuka-kun!