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- >Today is a Thursday!
- >You know what that means?!
- >Chest and biceps!
- >Aww yis!
- >You go through your long and boring day just waiting to go to the gym.
- >Finally you’re off work.
- >You make your way home and relax a bit, then you're off to Power House Gym to pump some iron.
- >Time to work out.
- >A little run and some stretching, now for the weights.
- >You’ve just finished Incline Dumbbells, now off to the bench press.
- >First twelve reps at 150lbs.
- >Easy.
- >One minute break.
- >You’re feeling pretty good.
- >Next set down the ladder.
- >Ten reps at 170lbs.
- >Aww yis!
- >The best feeling!
- >Five reps down, and you’re bringing the weight to your chest.
- >2-1-2, nigga!
- >You’re not quite ready to do a 4-2-4 rep time, but good enough!
- >You extend your arms out and hold position.
- >????
- >Why is everything turning blue?
- >!?!?
- >You look around.
- >In an instant, Power House turns into…
- >The fuck is this!
- >You’re still holding your position, baffled to see what appears to be a bunch of books.
- >You turn to your right.
- >The fuck is that!
- >A purple pony looking back at you wide eyed.
- >All of the sudden, the floor breaks.
- >Wut.
- >You're on the first floor?
- >Still in hold position.
- >You have no idea what in gods name is going on!
- >Again, the floor breaks!
- >You're in the basement, a purple pony looking at you from a hole between the floorboards.
- > She’s just as dumfounded.
- “What is going on!” you say in a panic, rolling the weight over and onto the ground.
- >“I don’t know!” she whelps trotting in place.
- >Your weight makes a sizeable dent in the cement.
- >Holy Fuck!
- >You get up, denting the ground as you walk.
- “H-how do I get out of here!” you yell up to her.
- >“T-take the stairs?!”
- >You walk over to them awkwardly, each step feeling like you're stepping on crackers.
- >First step on the stairs.
- >The step breaks!
- >The second step does too!
- “I-It’s not working!”
- >“I don’t know?! J-Jump!?”
- >You jump.
- >You shouldn’t have!
- >A crater forms under you as you blow past the floors, passing a blur of purple and breaking the ceiling like it’s paper.
- >HOLY JESUS!
- >You're in the air now, still accelerating.
- >Full moon! Aww Cool!
- >Wait, nuu!
- >You look down to see the ground moving away from you.
- >Pls nuu!
- >Oh God, you're slowing down now!
- >Now you’re falling!
- >You close your eyes scream like a twelve year old girl.
- >Wow!
- >You screamed for like fifteen seconds straight and your still falling.
- >You’re exhilarated, scared, confused, and now the ground is coming! Fast!
- >SHEIIIIIT!
- >The ground crumbles under you and now you're sitting in a ditch.
- >You crawl out frantically, the mud and dirt melting under you.
- >Finally you get out and take a step.
- >Your feet sink a few inches into the ground.
- >Looking around, you see a bunch of lights turning on and ponies coming out of houses!
- >Ponies don’t live in houses!
- >Is this real life?
- >The purple pony is looking at you, from her front door, half a football field away. Her jaw is hanging.
- >You feel wind behind you and turn to see a dark purple pony.
- >She’s taller than the rest.
- >“What art thou?” she says tilting her head to the side.
- >“H-he’s like some kind of god!” the little purple pony says from a far.
- >“A god? Validate?”
- “I’m not a god! How can you talk!”
- >“He denies he is a god, Twilight Sparkle.” she yells back to the purple pony that is now galloping towards the two of you.
- >The dark purple one eyes you up and down.
- >“You look rather weird, though you look… How do I put this? Well built?
- >Fuckin talking pony is looking at your smexy body!
- >Wait, now she’s looking at your junk!
- >Oh! look who decided to join the “what the fuck is happening” party, the little purple pony gasping for air.
- >“Princess Luna!” she huffs out of breath.
- >Would ya look at that! It’s not just any pony looking at your junk, it’s a princess!
- >“I was working on a spell to look into other realms *huff* And I’m not sure what exactly happened! *huff* But then he came, and broke my floors! And then jumped in to the air like it was nothing and broke my ceiling!
- >“Twilight, I fail to see how this makes him a God… Why did you not just teleport here?”
- “C-can I go home now? Did y’all notice ya have horns!”
- >“But look at his feet! They are sinking into the ground! He must weigh a ton! Even more! There’s no way something that small can weigh that much!
- >“Art thou a God?”
- “Okay! I’m a god! Can I go home now?”
- >“Do you know what this means?” the so-called princess says.
- >Oh god, do you want to know.
- “A Hoof wrestle!” she says giddily.
- >That sounds oddly familiar to arm wrestling.
- >Dis pony wants to arm wrestle you.
- “With all due respect, I don’t want to break you.”
- >She looks at you with squinty eyes and a devilish smirk.
- >“Art thou sure thou shalt do the breaking?”
- “K-kinda?"
- >"If I win, you must do all of my royal duties for a month."
- >lel duties
- "And if I win, I get to go home."
- >"Then it shall be. Come now weird looking creature, take a hold of my hoof."
- >You look at her, then her hoof, then back at her.
- >"Deal!"
- >As soon as your hand makes contact with her hoof, you're instantaneously transported to a very odd looking room.
- >In front of you is an arm wrestling bench.
- >From the floor, to the wall, then the ceiling, a line divides the room cutting right in between the center of the bench.
- >The side to the left is pure white with a mural of the sun
- >The right side is dark blue and has a mural of the moon.
- >“Come now, god of a different realm.”
- >Hoofs clop toward the bench as you follow close behind.
- >“This is the private wrestling room that my sister and I have made to be indestructible.”
- >Only now have you realized that you have not broken anything.
- give me one second to post
- >Amazing!
- >She sits down and takes position.
- >Her front hooves tap against your side of the bench.
- >“Come, come! Sit and let us begin!”
- >You take a seat on the suns side and get ready.
- >Aww shit this table thing has a handle thing for your free hand.
- “Okay, I’ll take it easy just for ya!”
- >“Very well it shall be your loss!”
- >Lol, this pony is gonna get rekt so hard.
- >“Oh! This will not do! We must have a referee to tell us to start. Will you pardon me for a quick moment?!”
- “Uhh…”
- >Her horn begins glowing and then she vanishes.
- >Welp now shes back, and with that purple pony from before.
- >Would you look at that!
- >The little purple pony is in the middle of brushing her teeth.
- >She looks so startled right now!
- >The bigger, dark purple pony gets back in position and now has one hoof on the handle and the other waiting for you.
- >Your brain is having a really tough time processing all this crazy shit, you grab a hold of her hoof without really realizing it.
- >“Twilight! Say go!” she says with the excitement of a small child who has eaten too much candy.
- >“G- *gurgle* O *gurgle.”
- >Before you know what happened, you’re laying sideways on the bench.
- >Wut
- >Fuck
- “Hey! I wasn’t ready!”
- >You get up in an instant.
- “Rematch!’
- >She’s looking at you with a cocky grin and proceeds to blow the tip of her hoof like the smoke from the tip of a gun.
- >“Well now, that was not even a challenge, it looks like you are my slave now.”
- “DOUBLE OR NOTHING”
- >You have her attention.
- >“Name your price”
- “You’re coming with me when I go home, and you’ll have to do all of my chores for a month.”
- >“Very well, If I win, on top of doing my royal duties, you will be a slave to me. Meaning you must say yes to anything I ask of you.”
- “You know what, instead of doing my chores, you’ll be my slave!”
- >“You are bargaining for more than you can chew.”
- >The both of you shake on it and get in position.
- >“Twilight…”
- >*Gurgle*
- >The two of you start.
- >You hold dead center while sizing her up.
- >Looks like this handle works wonders.
- >You tighten your grip, as does she.
- >You want to destroy this pony for that cheap shot.
- >You thought she was strong from that devastating first match, but it looks like she's not shit.
- >Literally, it feels like she has the strength of a child, like half a pound of pressure.
- >Her demise will be slow and humiliating.
- >"Twilight, finish up your brushing and come back as quickly as possible. I wouldn't want you to miss his destruction!"
- >She teleports out.
- >Alright! Back to taking this cocky bastard out!
- >Slowly, you step it up and push harder.
- >Your arm is now at a 45% angle toward the lunar side.
- >Luna seems to be struggling slightly.
- >Good, you're not done.
- >Maybe you should play with her, you know, pretend to be weak, let her think she has the upper hand.
- >"Curse thy self! I will not let you get the best of me!”
- >Now she’s pushing back a tad bit harder.
- >You won't give her an ounce of satisfaction!
- >You match up to two pounds of pressure.
- >The poor girl is shaking now.
- >You silently bring down the hammer of justice again and move closer to the moon.
- >You are a humble god. You will not gloat.
- >However, you will put her in her place.
- >Lel you're a god, you could get used to that.
- >She's huffin and puffin, desperately trying to stop the onslaught
- >Twilight teleports back just in time to see her princess getting rekt!
- >Oh Man! That look of terror in her eyes is priceless.
- >"P-princess! Noooo!"
- >Aww how sad. You're starting to feel sorry for the princess.
- >Too late, now you're inches away.
- >????
- >Within the blink of an eye, you’re back where you started, right in the middle.
- > YOU'VE BEEN HAD!
- >Flabbergasted, your eyes dart to the pony.
- >Twilight starts jumping up and down with pure joy.
- >"Yes! I never doubted you... Heh"
- >There is a evil grin in her face, and a twinkle in her eye.
- >"Did you honestly believe those theatrics!?"
- >Your angry face gives it all away, and she starts giggling.
- “N-no!”
- >Two can play at this game!
- >You flex your muscles and push back.
- >She doesn’t budge.
- >Good.
- >You push a little harder.
- >She becomes disappointed.
- >“Are you even trying?”
- “YES!”
- >lel, no you’re not. not even close!
- >You push harder, and she doesn't budge.
- >Good.
- >Just a little more, and now she's taking you down … Or so she thinks!
- >You don’t want to disappoint the pony, so you try to make it look you’re trying as hard as possible though you’re only using a third of your strength.
- >Now she’s inches away from taking you down.
- “Sorry… There’s only room for two gods in this land and it doesn’t include you.”
- >She pushes hard, but you don't budge.
- “Let’s get a few things things straight.”
- >Luna tries harder, but her hoof only starts shaking in place.
- “One, my name is Anon!”
- “Two, us gods? We are called humans!”
- “Three!”
- >With your unfaltering might, you bring yourself back to the start position and continue.
- “I’m taking you down!”
- >Luna’s fears dissipated, and now she’s looking at you with a determined smile.
- >“Twilight, call forth my sister! We may just have a match.”
- >”R-right!”
- >She teleports out again.
- >You and Luna battle it out, lightheartedly sizing each other up.
- >Luna starts glowing a bit.
- >Then she exhales.
- >Shit just got serious.
- >With the power of a really built hefty man, she tries to overtake you.
- >You will have none of this, your insane defence only makes her angry.
- >Twilight teleports back with some other pony.
- >She’s in a nightgown and a sleeping mask is over her frizzled mane.
- >She rubs the sleep out of her eye.
- >*Yawn* “Dearest sister, wha-”
- >Her eyes widen in amazement.
- >“Twilight What is that thing?” She says with astonishment
- >You push Luna back to the middle, breaking a sweat and giving a smirk.
- >“I know right! He’s some kind of god!”
- >“I do not doubt that! He must be a god! No mortal can hold back Luna’s rage!”
- “Your sister has no idea what’s coming for her!”
- >Defiantly and unsteadily, you subdue her god like strength and only make her angry.
- >Now she’s holding back.
- >Oh shit, she has an aura coming out of her now.
- >Now the tides are turning, and she’s regaining territory
- >Celestia and Twilight are cheering her on.
- >You glance at them and notice there’s a banner in Celestia’s hoof and one of those big pointing finger gloves on Twilight's hoof
- >You two hold your ground in the middle.
- >“I never lose!”
- >She moving toward the sun now.
- >You calm your inner self.
- >She is just a pony. A god, none the less, but a pony… You will never lose to a dark purple pastel midget horse.
- >You halt her advancement.
- >She won’t budge, but you won’t falter.
- >Holy shit! Are you glowing too?
- >You need to push her back, now!
- >You grip the handle as tight as possible and let out a dull roar.
- >Celestia’s jaw is left hanging open.
- >“T-the handle! The indestructible handle! This human is physically denting the handle!”
- >You push her down inches away from the table.
- >Why won't she go down?
- >”TIA, I NEED MORALE!”
- >“Right, sister!”
- >Celestia's horn begins to glow and soon after, the room expands, bleachers form and hundreds of ponies are teleported onto them.
- >Chaos erupts from the crowd of sleepy ponies.
- >Luna pulls some random strength out of her ass and pushes you back to center.
- >Fuck this.
- >Celestia screams and silences the ponies.
- >”We are gathered here tonight to witness a battle of the gods. My dear sister needs your help to win this battle. Please cheer her on!”
- >The ponies now look to your direction and are at awe at the scene unfolding in front of them.
- >They start cheering Luna on.
- >FUCKFUCKFUCK!
- >Her strength is so powerful, Twilight incases the two of you in a bubble to protect the audience.
- >You’re losing!
- >FUCK!
- >You close your eyes and push with all your might but she’s still gaining ground.
- >You must let it go!
- >Let it all go!
- >In that instant a whirlwind of energy as strong as Luna’s pours out of you.
- “I AM A MAN!”
- >You let go of the handle.
- >With every ounce of power you have, you start pushing her back all the while grabbing hold of your shirt with your spare hand.
- >You rip it off, revealing your god like body.
- [spoiler]What sounds like the culmination of a thousands splashes?[/spoiler]
- >Luna blushes, all the while being pushed a few inches from the table top.
- >“You know what A-Anon?” She grunts between sentences, “I would not mind losing to you. But do not think I am giving up just yet!”
- >She’s barely holding her position, and you’re barely able to keep up your onslaught
- >You’re surviving on an adrenaline rush.
- >All you need to do now is keep it up your momentum until she falters.
- >Just then, you notice her wince.
- >There is your opportunity!
- >You strike!”
- >Now she’s a millimeter from the table top!
- >“Do not think you will win!” This pain is nothing compared to the eons of immortality”
- >You hear gasps from around the room.
- >Luna screams in agony and amazingly she start recovering her lost ground.
- >There’s no way! If you hadn't wasted so much energy by letting go of that handle for a second to rip your shirt off, you would have put her all the way down!
- >Damn, how is she doing this?
- >Back to the god damn center!
- >Now she's taking you down!
- >You can’t feel your arm, all you know is that it doesn't have enough strength to stop her movement.
- >Instincts kick in as you stop her just a hair away from the table.
- >You push her back up just a few inches.
- >You can still do this, you can get her!
- >You start your reversal, only to hear a dull chant.
- >“LU…. NA… LU NA… LU-NA”
- >The energy escapes you!
- >Luna’s eye’s are burning with resolve.
- >nuuu!
- >pls!
- >“LU-NA-LU-NA-LU-NA!”
- >The whole crowd is chanting.
- >Her shaky grip become firm, an impenetrable defence.
- >Although you don’t give up, you can’t stop it!
- >With all your strength, everything you have, you just can’t prevent it.
- >Just a fraction of a millimeter away and again, your pure instincts stops her.
- >But only for a few seconds.
- >It’s not just her strength she has, It’s the will of all the ponies.
- >Your hand touches the table top.
- >The battle is over.
- >The whole crowd cheers in joy.
- >You see just how amped the ponies are, bouncing up and down while throwing their hooves in the air.
- >You can hear all the screams, whistles, and a low rumble from all the hooves tapping on the bleacher.
- >Damn bro! You just got rekt!
- >You dust yourself off and look back at luna who is giving you the most cocky smile you’ve ever seen.
- >Then suddenly she’s grabbed by Celestia along with other ponies and thrown in the air.
- >You really can’t be that mad.
- >She is tough, you’ll give her that.
- >You can’t help but laugh.
- >Looks like you’ll be a slave to a pony for a month.
- >You’re genuinely happy.
- >The cheering dies down, then Celestia gets their attention.
- >“Lets give it up for Anon!”
- >You start flexing for the audience.
- >The ponies awe at your sexyness and start cheering for you too!
- >“For his stunning display of muscl- I mean talent.”You are truly a God! For I have never seen anyone including myself ever get this close to defeating Luna!”
- >The roaring from the crowd only gets louder.
- >Never has defeat been so sweet.
- >”We shall prepare a feast in your honor, Anon! Tomorrow night!”
- >Aww yis!
- >The ponies calm down, and Celestia says sorry for teleporting them, and asks them to get ready for tomorrow.
- >She makes a teleport gate leading to the town square and asks them to make a line.
- >You watch the happy ponies giggling and conversating as they trot in to the gate.
- >Then you see luna make her way between the crowd and to you.
- >“I am most pleased, Anon!”
- “Me too, you look like you’re having a blast!
- >“Are you not disappointed?!”
- “Why would I be, you won fair and square”
- >You give her a little wink and smirk
- >She looks at you a little confused.
- >“What is this winking you are doing?”
- “Oh nothing, I got something in my eye!”
- >You give her another wink and start walking toward Celestia.
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