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RVG

the arm wrestle

RVG
Mar 20th, 2015
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  1. >Today is a Thursday!
  2. >You know what that means?!
  3. >Chest and biceps!
  4. >Aww yis!
  5. >You go through your long and boring day just waiting to go to the gym.
  6. >Finally you’re off work.
  7. >You make your way home and relax a bit, then you're off to Power House Gym to pump some iron.
  8. >Time to work out.
  9. >A little run and some stretching, now for the weights.
  10. >You’ve just finished Incline Dumbbells, now off to the bench press.
  11. >First twelve reps at 150lbs.
  12. >Easy.
  13. >One minute break.
  14. >You’re feeling pretty good.
  15. >Next set down the ladder.
  16. >Ten reps at 170lbs.
  17. >Aww yis!
  18. >The best feeling!
  19. >Five reps down, and you’re bringing the weight to your chest.
  20. >2-1-2, nigga!
  21. >You’re not quite ready to do a 4-2-4 rep time, but good enough!
  22. >You extend your arms out and hold position.
  23. >????
  24. >Why is everything turning blue?
  25. >!?!?
  26. >You look around.
  27. >In an instant, Power House turns into…
  28. >The fuck is this!
  29. >You’re still holding your position, baffled to see what appears to be a bunch of books.
  30. >You turn to your right.
  31. >The fuck is that!
  32. >A purple pony looking back at you wide eyed.
  33. >All of the sudden, the floor breaks.
  34. >Wut.
  35. >You're on the first floor?
  36. >Still in hold position.
  37. >You have no idea what in gods name is going on!
  38. >Again, the floor breaks!
  39. >You're in the basement, a purple pony looking at you from a hole between the floorboards.
  40. > She’s just as dumfounded.
  41. “What is going on!” you say in a panic, rolling the weight over and onto the ground.
  42. >“I don’t know!” she whelps trotting in place.
  43. >Your weight makes a sizeable dent in the cement.
  44. >Holy Fuck!
  45. >You get up, denting the ground as you walk.
  46. “H-how do I get out of here!” you yell up to her.
  47. >“T-take the stairs?!”
  48. >You walk over to them awkwardly, each step feeling like you're stepping on crackers.
  49. >First step on the stairs.
  50. >The step breaks!
  51. >The second step does too!
  52. “I-It’s not working!”
  53. >“I don’t know?! J-Jump!?”
  54.  
  55.  
  56. >You jump.
  57. >You shouldn’t have!
  58. >A crater forms under you as you blow past the floors, passing a blur of purple and breaking the ceiling like it’s paper.
  59. >HOLY JESUS!
  60. >You're in the air now, still accelerating.
  61. >Full moon! Aww Cool!
  62. >Wait, nuu!
  63. >You look down to see the ground moving away from you.
  64. >Pls nuu!
  65. >Oh God, you're slowing down now!
  66. >Now you’re falling!
  67. >You close your eyes scream like a twelve year old girl.
  68. >Wow!
  69. >You screamed for like fifteen seconds straight and your still falling.
  70. >You’re exhilarated, scared, confused, and now the ground is coming! Fast!
  71. >SHEIIIIIT!
  72. >The ground crumbles under you and now you're sitting in a ditch.
  73. >You crawl out frantically, the mud and dirt melting under you.
  74. >Finally you get out and take a step.
  75. >Your feet sink a few inches into the ground.
  76. >Looking around, you see a bunch of lights turning on and ponies coming out of houses!
  77. >Ponies don’t live in houses!
  78. >Is this real life?
  79. >The purple pony is looking at you, from her front door, half a football field away. Her jaw is hanging.
  80. >You feel wind behind you and turn to see a dark purple pony.
  81. >She’s taller than the rest.
  82. >“What art thou?” she says tilting her head to the side.
  83. >“H-he’s like some kind of god!” the little purple pony says from a far.
  84. >“A god? Validate?”
  85. “I’m not a god! How can you talk!”
  86. >“He denies he is a god, Twilight Sparkle.” she yells back to the purple pony that is now galloping towards the two of you.
  87. >The dark purple one eyes you up and down.
  88. >“You look rather weird, though you look… How do I put this? Well built?
  89. >Fuckin talking pony is looking at your smexy body!
  90. >Wait, now she’s looking at your junk!
  91. >Oh! look who decided to join the “what the fuck is happening” party, the little purple pony gasping for air.
  92. >“Princess Luna!” she huffs out of breath.
  93.  
  94.  
  95. >Would ya look at that! It’s not just any pony looking at your junk, it’s a princess!
  96. >“I was working on a spell to look into other realms *huff* And I’m not sure what exactly happened! *huff* But then he came, and broke my floors! And then jumped in to the air like it was nothing and broke my ceiling!
  97. >“Twilight, I fail to see how this makes him a God… Why did you not just teleport here?”
  98. “C-can I go home now? Did y’all notice ya have horns!”
  99. >“But look at his feet! They are sinking into the ground! He must weigh a ton! Even more! There’s no way something that small can weigh that much!
  100. >“Art thou a God?”
  101. “Okay! I’m a god! Can I go home now?”
  102. >“Do you know what this means?” the so-called princess says.
  103. >Oh god, do you want to know.
  104. “A Hoof wrestle!” she says giddily.
  105. >That sounds oddly familiar to arm wrestling.
  106. >Dis pony wants to arm wrestle you.
  107. “With all due respect, I don’t want to break you.”
  108. >She looks at you with squinty eyes and a devilish smirk.
  109. >“Art thou sure thou shalt do the breaking?”
  110. “K-kinda?"
  111. >"If I win, you must do all of my royal duties for a month."
  112. >lel duties
  113. "And if I win, I get to go home."
  114. >"Then it shall be. Come now weird looking creature, take a hold of my hoof."
  115. >You look at her, then her hoof, then back at her.
  116. >"Deal!"
  117. >As soon as your hand makes contact with her hoof, you're instantaneously transported to a very odd looking room.
  118. >In front of you is an arm wrestling bench.
  119. >From the floor, to the wall, then the ceiling, a line divides the room cutting right in between the center of the bench.
  120. >The side to the left is pure white with a mural of the sun
  121. >The right side is dark blue and has a mural of the moon.
  122. >“Come now, god of a different realm.”
  123. >Hoofs clop toward the bench as you follow close behind.
  124. >“This is the private wrestling room that my sister and I have made to be indestructible.”
  125. >Only now have you realized that you have not broken anything.
  126.  
  127.  
  128.  
  129.  
  130. give me one second to post
  131.  
  132. >Amazing!
  133. >She sits down and takes position.
  134. >Her front hooves tap against your side of the bench.
  135. >“Come, come! Sit and let us begin!”
  136. >You take a seat on the suns side and get ready.
  137. >Aww shit this table thing has a handle thing for your free hand.
  138. “Okay, I’ll take it easy just for ya!”
  139. >“Very well it shall be your loss!”
  140. >Lol, this pony is gonna get rekt so hard.
  141. >“Oh! This will not do! We must have a referee to tell us to start. Will you pardon me for a quick moment?!”
  142. “Uhh…”
  143. >Her horn begins glowing and then she vanishes.
  144. >Welp now shes back, and with that purple pony from before.
  145. >Would you look at that!
  146. >The little purple pony is in the middle of brushing her teeth.
  147. >She looks so startled right now!
  148.  
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  154.  
  155. >The bigger, dark purple pony gets back in position and now has one hoof on the handle and the other waiting for you.
  156. >Your brain is having a really tough time processing all this crazy shit, you grab a hold of her hoof without really realizing it.
  157. >“Twilight! Say go!” she says with the excitement of a small child who has eaten too much candy.
  158. >“G- *gurgle* O *gurgle.”
  159. >Before you know what happened, you’re laying sideways on the bench.
  160. >Wut
  161. >Fuck
  162. “Hey! I wasn’t ready!”
  163. >You get up in an instant.
  164. “Rematch!’
  165. >She’s looking at you with a cocky grin and proceeds to blow the tip of her hoof like the smoke from the tip of a gun.
  166. >“Well now, that was not even a challenge, it looks like you are my slave now.”
  167. “DOUBLE OR NOTHING”
  168. >You have her attention.
  169. >“Name your price”
  170. “You’re coming with me when I go home, and you’ll have to do all of my chores for a month.”
  171. >“Very well, If I win, on top of doing my royal duties, you will be a slave to me. Meaning you must say yes to anything I ask of you.”
  172. “You know what, instead of doing my chores, you’ll be my slave!”
  173. >“You are bargaining for more than you can chew.”
  174. >The both of you shake on it and get in position.
  175. >“Twilight…”
  176. >*Gurgle*
  177.  
  178.  
  179.  
  180. >The two of you start.
  181. >You hold dead center while sizing her up.
  182. >Looks like this handle works wonders.
  183. >You tighten your grip, as does she.
  184. >You want to destroy this pony for that cheap shot.
  185. >You thought she was strong from that devastating first match, but it looks like she's not shit.
  186. >Literally, it feels like she has the strength of a child, like half a pound of pressure.
  187. >Her demise will be slow and humiliating.
  188. >"Twilight, finish up your brushing and come back as quickly as possible. I wouldn't want you to miss his destruction!"
  189. >She teleports out.
  190. >Alright! Back to taking this cocky bastard out!
  191. >Slowly, you step it up and push harder.
  192. >Your arm is now at a 45% angle toward the lunar side.
  193. >Luna seems to be struggling slightly.
  194. >Good, you're not done.
  195. >Maybe you should play with her, you know, pretend to be weak, let her think she has the upper hand.
  196. >"Curse thy self! I will not let you get the best of me!”
  197. >Now she’s pushing back a tad bit harder.
  198. >You won't give her an ounce of satisfaction!
  199. >You match up to two pounds of pressure.
  200. >The poor girl is shaking now.
  201. >You silently bring down the hammer of justice again and move closer to the moon.
  202. >You are a humble god. You will not gloat.
  203. >However, you will put her in her place.
  204. >Lel you're a god, you could get used to that.
  205. >She's huffin and puffin, desperately trying to stop the onslaught
  206. >Twilight teleports back just in time to see her princess getting rekt!
  207. >Oh Man! That look of terror in her eyes is priceless.
  208. >"P-princess! Noooo!"
  209. >Aww how sad. You're starting to feel sorry for the princess.
  210. >Too late, now you're inches away.
  211. >????
  212. >Within the blink of an eye, you’re back where you started, right in the middle.
  213. > YOU'VE BEEN HAD!
  214. >Flabbergasted, your eyes dart to the pony.
  215. >Twilight starts jumping up and down with pure joy.
  216. >"Yes! I never doubted you... Heh"
  217.  
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  222.  
  223. >There is a evil grin in her face, and a twinkle in her eye.
  224. >"Did you honestly believe those theatrics!?"
  225. >Your angry face gives it all away, and she starts giggling.
  226. “N-no!”
  227. >Two can play at this game!
  228. >You flex your muscles and push back.
  229. >She doesn’t budge.
  230. >Good.
  231. >You push a little harder.
  232. >She becomes disappointed.
  233. >“Are you even trying?”
  234. “YES!”
  235. >lel, no you’re not. not even close!
  236. >You push harder, and she doesn't budge.
  237. >Good.
  238. >Just a little more, and now she's taking you down … Or so she thinks!
  239. >You don’t want to disappoint the pony, so you try to make it look you’re trying as hard as possible though you’re only using a third of your strength.
  240. >Now she’s inches away from taking you down.
  241. “Sorry… There’s only room for two gods in this land and it doesn’t include you.”
  242. >She pushes hard, but you don't budge.
  243. “Let’s get a few things things straight.”
  244. >Luna tries harder, but her hoof only starts shaking in place.
  245. “One, my name is Anon!”
  246. “Two, us gods? We are called humans!”
  247. “Three!”
  248. >With your unfaltering might, you bring yourself back to the start position and continue.
  249. “I’m taking you down!”
  250. >Luna’s fears dissipated, and now she’s looking at you with a determined smile.
  251. >“Twilight, call forth my sister! We may just have a match.”
  252. >”R-right!”
  253. >She teleports out again.
  254. >You and Luna battle it out, lightheartedly sizing each other up.
  255. >Luna starts glowing a bit.
  256. >Then she exhales.
  257. >Shit just got serious.
  258. >With the power of a really built hefty man, she tries to overtake you.
  259. >You will have none of this, your insane defence only makes her angry.
  260. >Twilight teleports back with some other pony.
  261. >She’s in a nightgown and a sleeping mask is over her frizzled mane.
  262. >She rubs the sleep out of her eye.
  263. >*Yawn* “Dearest sister, wha-”
  264. >Her eyes widen in amazement.
  265. >“Twilight What is that thing?” She says with astonishment
  266. >You push Luna back to the middle, breaking a sweat and giving a smirk.
  267. >“I know right! He’s some kind of god!”
  268.  
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  277.  
  278. >“I do not doubt that! He must be a god! No mortal can hold back Luna’s rage!”
  279. “Your sister has no idea what’s coming for her!”
  280. >Defiantly and unsteadily, you subdue her god like strength and only make her angry.
  281. >Now she’s holding back.
  282. >Oh shit, she has an aura coming out of her now.
  283. >Now the tides are turning, and she’s regaining territory
  284. >Celestia and Twilight are cheering her on.
  285. >You glance at them and notice there’s a banner in Celestia’s hoof and one of those big pointing finger gloves on Twilight's hoof
  286. >You two hold your ground in the middle.
  287. >“I never lose!”
  288. >She moving toward the sun now.
  289. >You calm your inner self.
  290. >She is just a pony. A god, none the less, but a pony… You will never lose to a dark purple pastel midget horse.
  291. >You halt her advancement.
  292. >She won’t budge, but you won’t falter.
  293. >Holy shit! Are you glowing too?
  294. >You need to push her back, now!
  295. >You grip the handle as tight as possible and let out a dull roar.
  296. >Celestia’s jaw is left hanging open.
  297. >“T-the handle! The indestructible handle! This human is physically denting the handle!”
  298. >You push her down inches away from the table.
  299. >Why won't she go down?
  300. >”TIA, I NEED MORALE!”
  301. >“Right, sister!”
  302. >Celestia's horn begins to glow and soon after, the room expands, bleachers form and hundreds of ponies are teleported onto them.
  303. >Chaos erupts from the crowd of sleepy ponies.
  304. >Luna pulls some random strength out of her ass and pushes you back to center.
  305. >Fuck this.
  306. >Celestia screams and silences the ponies.
  307. >”We are gathered here tonight to witness a battle of the gods. My dear sister needs your help to win this battle. Please cheer her on!”
  308. >The ponies now look to your direction and are at awe at the scene unfolding in front of them.
  309. >They start cheering Luna on.
  310. >FUCKFUCKFUCK!
  311. >Her strength is so powerful, Twilight incases the two of you in a bubble to protect the audience.
  312. >You’re losing!
  313. >FUCK!
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  326.  
  327. >You close your eyes and push with all your might but she’s still gaining ground.
  328. >You must let it go!
  329. >Let it all go!
  330. >In that instant a whirlwind of energy as strong as Luna’s pours out of you.
  331. “I AM A MAN!”
  332. >You let go of the handle.
  333. >With every ounce of power you have, you start pushing her back all the while grabbing hold of your shirt with your spare hand.
  334. >You rip it off, revealing your god like body.
  335. [spoiler]What sounds like the culmination of a thousands splashes?[/spoiler]
  336. >Luna blushes, all the while being pushed a few inches from the table top.
  337. >“You know what A-Anon?” She grunts between sentences, “I would not mind losing to you. But do not think I am giving up just yet!”
  338. >She’s barely holding her position, and you’re barely able to keep up your onslaught
  339. >You’re surviving on an adrenaline rush.
  340. >All you need to do now is keep it up your momentum until she falters.
  341. >Just then, you notice her wince.
  342. >There is your opportunity!
  343. >You strike!”
  344. >Now she’s a millimeter from the table top!
  345. >“Do not think you will win!” This pain is nothing compared to the eons of immortality”
  346. >You hear gasps from around the room.
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  359.  
  360. >Luna screams in agony and amazingly she start recovering her lost ground.
  361. >There’s no way! If you hadn't wasted so much energy by letting go of that handle for a second to rip your shirt off, you would have put her all the way down!
  362. >Damn, how is she doing this?
  363. >Back to the god damn center!
  364. >Now she's taking you down!
  365. >You can’t feel your arm, all you know is that it doesn't have enough strength to stop her movement.
  366. >Instincts kick in as you stop her just a hair away from the table.
  367. >You push her back up just a few inches.
  368. >You can still do this, you can get her!
  369. >You start your reversal, only to hear a dull chant.
  370. >“LU…. NA… LU NA… LU-NA”
  371. >The energy escapes you!
  372. >Luna’s eye’s are burning with resolve.
  373. >nuuu!
  374. >pls!
  375. >“LU-NA-LU-NA-LU-NA!”
  376. >The whole crowd is chanting.
  377. >Her shaky grip become firm, an impenetrable defence.
  378. >Although you don’t give up, you can’t stop it!
  379. >With all your strength, everything you have, you just can’t prevent it.
  380. >Just a fraction of a millimeter away and again, your pure instincts stops her.
  381. >But only for a few seconds.
  382. >It’s not just her strength she has, It’s the will of all the ponies.
  383. >Your hand touches the table top.
  384. >The battle is over.
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  413. >The whole crowd cheers in joy.
  414. >You see just how amped the ponies are, bouncing up and down while throwing their hooves in the air.
  415. >You can hear all the screams, whistles, and a low rumble from all the hooves tapping on the bleacher.
  416. >Damn bro! You just got rekt!
  417. >You dust yourself off and look back at luna who is giving you the most cocky smile you’ve ever seen.
  418. >Then suddenly she’s grabbed by Celestia along with other ponies and thrown in the air.
  419. >You really can’t be that mad.
  420. >She is tough, you’ll give her that.
  421. >You can’t help but laugh.
  422. >Looks like you’ll be a slave to a pony for a month.
  423. >You’re genuinely happy.
  424. >The cheering dies down, then Celestia gets their attention.
  425. >“Lets give it up for Anon!”
  426. >You start flexing for the audience.
  427. >The ponies awe at your sexyness and start cheering for you too!
  428. >“For his stunning display of muscl- I mean talent.”You are truly a God! For I have never seen anyone including myself ever get this close to defeating Luna!”
  429. >The roaring from the crowd only gets louder.
  430. >Never has defeat been so sweet.
  431. >”We shall prepare a feast in your honor, Anon! Tomorrow night!”
  432. >Aww yis!
  433. >The ponies calm down, and Celestia says sorry for teleporting them, and asks them to get ready for tomorrow.
  434. >She makes a teleport gate leading to the town square and asks them to make a line.
  435. >You watch the happy ponies giggling and conversating as they trot in to the gate.
  436. >Then you see luna make her way between the crowd and to you.
  437. >“I am most pleased, Anon!”
  438. “Me too, you look like you’re having a blast!
  439. >“Are you not disappointed?!”
  440. “Why would I be, you won fair and square”
  441. >You give her a little wink and smirk
  442. >She looks at you a little confused.
  443. >“What is this winking you are doing?”
  444. “Oh nothing, I got something in my eye!”
  445. >You give her another wink and start walking toward Celestia.
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