Shining Armor

	Shining Armor had always had a hay allergy. It was a rare thing, among ponies, but it happened. When he was little, he couldn't eat hay based products without gagging and choking, so his doctors placed his on a special diet. Luckily, his family was wealthy enough to afford a personal chef who could cook with hay substitute.
	As he had grown older, his allergy had subsided somewhat. On his twelfth birthday, he had eaten some candy that a relative had bought him, and he only got a little red in the face. Nowadays, Shining Armor could essentially eat what he wanted, although hay products still made his throat itch a bit, so he tried to avoid them.
	However, there was one thing about his hay allergy that always persisted. Dried, unrefined hay, the kind that cows and poorer ponies ate, made Shining Armor need to sneeze. This hadn't been much of a problem, in the past. There was one particularly painful incident involving a field trip to a farm. There were a few other scattered, accidental exposures, mostly from when he was younger.
	Today was Shining Armor's fourth day in his leave from the Canterlot Royal guard, and it was his third day visiting his sister, Twilight Sparkle, in Ponyville. The trip had been going rather pleasantly until Twilight and her friends were called to Canterlot on sudden business. It wasn't dangerous business, otherwise Shining Armor would have returned early from his leave. However, it was unexpected enough that nopony had been able to find foalsitters, so the responsibility had fallen to Shining Armor.
	Here he was, on Applejack's farm, watching after three fillies. Applebloom, who was Applejack's sister, Sweetie Belle, who was Rarity's, and Scootaloo, who kind of belonged to Rainbow Dash. Shining Armor didn't really know. He was exhausted, and it had only been half of a day. He was barely keeping up with the three fillies when they finally took a break from "Crusading" to sit down on Applejack's porch and think.
	"What should we try next?" Sweetie Belle asked.
	"How about 'Cutie Mark Crusaders: Catnappers'?" Shining Armor suggested, laying his head on his haunches.
	"Nah, that sounds boring." Scootaloo stated, much to Shining Armor's dismay.
	"I know!" Applebloom said, in a tone that suggested to Shining Armor that it might be time to stand up and follow the fillies around. "We never got a good try at Cutie Mark Crusaders: Carpenters!"
	"That doesn't sound very..." Shining Armor began, but he was cut off by Applebloom.
	"Come on, I know where Applejack keeps his power tools!" Applebloom exclaimed, and her two friends zipped after her. Shining Armor reluctantly followed, saving his energy for if he heard a buzzsaw fire up. The three fillies ran through the doors to Applejack's enormous barn.
	Shining Armor also entered the barn, but he stopped dead in his tracks. The barn was full of hay. Bales lined the walls. Loose piles of hay sat in the loft. A large haystack loomed in the corner. Shining Armor's nostrils flared. He raised a hand to his snout, reflexively.
	"Girls?" he called out. He could hear giggling from somewhere inside the barn. At least there was nothing that sounded like a power tool. A sneeze was building deep within his nostrils. Her breath began to hitch. "Hhh... Haahh..."
	A loud slamming sound distracted Shining Armor from his sneeze. The barn door had shut behind him! He darted back to it, and tried to escape, but the door had been latched, too! He sat down on his hind haunches, his back to the door. Trapped in here with all this hay. His nostrils began to itch madly. He tilted his head back and gave in, knowing that resisting the sneeze would be pointless.
	"Haaaahh... Aaaah... AHHH... Ahhhhhchoooo! Ahhh... HAAH! HhaaahhhCHOOOO!" His head flew forwards with the force of the second sneeze. He could tell that more were on the way. He called out again to the fillies. Where had they gotten off to? "Girls? Where ahhh... are you?"
	Through his pre-sneeze haze, Shining Armor thought he could make out something moving in the hayloft. It had to be one of the Crusaders. Whoever it was, she needed to come down before she hurt herself. The loft did not look very secure. Shining Armor tried to call out, but his eyes squinted shut, and another sneeze escaped, instead.
	"AaahhhhCHHOOOO! Come... Cahhahhahh... HAAAAH... KkaaaaaCHHOOOO! Come down from there before you fahhahhaah... fall!" Shining Armor caught a glimpse of a purple mane. But was that Scootaloo, or Sweetie Belle? Or was it Applebloom in a bad light? Shining Armor's eyes were getting all blurry, so he couldn't tell. Celestia, but he needed to sneeze. He breathed a snuffling breath through his nose, and that was all it took. Violent hitching breaths rocked his body. "AHHH! AHHAHH! HUHHH! HUUUHH! HUUURRUSSHHHOOOOOOO!"
	There was just too much hay for Shining Armor to retain any semblance of control over his nose. The tickle was simply insane. It made him feel like sniffing again and letting another monster of a sneeze escape. But he didn't, knowing full well that unless he sneezed a hurricane, blew the barn to smithereens, and scattered the hay into the neighboring counties, there wasn't any relief in sight. A sneeze like that didn't even seem to far-fetched at this point; the tickle was that bad.
	Instead of sniffling and embracing a massive sneeze, Shining Armor simply let it come naturally. He took a few steps, one hoof in front of another, going deeper into the barn in an attempt to find the fillies, or at least a way out. He hadn't moved more than a few feet before he became powerless to resist. His head tilted up and his ears slicked back, laying flat against his neck. "Hhhh... Aahh.. Ahhaaaahh... HAAH! AaaaahhhCHHOOOOO!"
	Whoever was in the loft was making a mess. Hay fell in clumps from above. Shining Armor couldn't hold it in. The allergens in the air meant that he needed to sneeze, but the question of 'when?' was more of a mental one, heavily influenced by the sight and smell of the itchy yellow hay around him. 'Now,' the hay raining down around his seemed to say, and his nose agreed. "HAARRRRAAAACCHOOOOO!! Ahhh.. AAAHHH! HaaassshHHOOOOO! Please... AHH.. Ahh... Staahh... Stahhaahh... HAAAH! AAACHOOO! ACHOOO! Stahhahh... HaaaahhTISHHHOOOOO! Stop!"
	Shining Armor pleaded with his nose. He pleaded with the hay falling around his. He pleaded with the filly who was fifteen feet above him, causing so much irritation. His nostrils wriggled and flared. Allergic tears dripped down his cheeks. His mane was growing disheveled from the constant head bobbing. The assailant in the loft didn't seem to listen to his cries, and hay continued to fly down.
	Shining Armor could feel a tremendous sneeze coming on. Occasionally, mid-fit, his body would decide that it needed to rid itself of the irritants, once and for all. That wasn't going to happen, of course, but the sneeze wouldn't be dissuaded. His hoof fanned in front of his face, which was a caricature of pure sneeziness. His jaw hung slack as he drew in giant shaky gasps. "AAHHHAHH! AAAAHHAAHHAAHH! HAAAAHHHH! HUHHHUUUH! HUUUUAAASSHHHHHHOOOOOOO!!"
	The sneeze bellowed out of him, and he hunched over a bit as it pushed his upper body towards the ground. Releasing felt amazing, and he wanted nothing more but to stop and sneeze until he was blue in the face. But sneezing out a behemoth like that allowed his a moment of respite, and he meant to use it. "Pleasecomedowniamreallyreallyallergictohay!"
	Shining Armor yelled out, and it actually seemed to work. He saw Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo descending from the loft, and he breathed a sigh of relief. His eyes squinted, involuntarily. Even though the hay had stopped falling from the ceiling, the onslaught of sneezes was far from over. "Aaahh.. Aahhaaah... KaaaaaCCHOOOOO!"
	He diverted his attention from the fit, and listened as Sweetie Belle talked. "I'm so sorry! We didn't know you were allergic! We came into the barn and there were no power tools to be found, and Applebloom thought it would be hilarious to..."
	Another sneeze was coming, so Sweetie Belle's explanation would have to go on the back-burner for now. "HAAAH-ahhh-aaaahaah-HAAAAH! AaaaaahhhhCHOOOOOO!"
	Sweetie Belle jumped a little as Shining Armor released. The two fillies and the stallion began walking towards the exit to the barn. Scootaloo called out to the outside. "Applebloom, let us out, it's not funny anymore!"
	The doors to the barn opened, and Shining Armor began breathing somewhat more normally. His nose still tickled, but escaping from the barn meant the tickle would end eventually. For now, he had to sneeze again. "Hhh... Hhh-haaahh.. HAAAH! ATCHHHOOO!-Achhoooooo!"
	Once the party was safely outside, Sweetie Belle's tilted her head back and glanced at the sun. "Hiishhhhoooo! Wow, that hay really is tickly."
	"Ahh..." Shining Armor hitched in agreement. He tilted his head back, and submitted. "Ahh.. Ahhh... Ahhhh..."
	The sneeze was stuck! That wouldn't do at all! Shining Armor cracked the bar door and sniffed sharply. A smallish piece of hay got sucked in. The tickle spiked to unheard of levels. Shining Armor turned around, using his flank to close the door behind his. "Ahh.. AHHHAHH!"
	With each hitching breath, Shining Armor's thighs pushed against the barn door. The rough, splintery wood kind of hurt, but he was too locked into the sneeze to move his plot. "AAHHAHHAHH! HUHHUHHH! HUUUHHHAAAHUUHHH! KKKUUUHHHUUURRRUUAAAASSHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
	Shining Armor exploded, and the piece of hay flew out of his nose. He imagined it flying for miles on the back of that monster sneeze. His nose still itched a bit, but the sneezes seemed to have died off. He looked up, and the fillies were already gone, off to their next adventure. He sighed, and plodded after them.