Immortality Curse

Immortality is something I have considered a curse and feared for sometime. As a person who's already outlive their own mother at a young age, to think about outliving everyone I ever meet seems too painful to think about. Yet through these chains of jumps, I go on a quest of power so that my adventure may reach no barriers. Such power would most assuredly bring about immortality, even if not sought outright. Thus now I am forced to ponder how this might effect me, once the chain ends and the Spark is claimed. After the spark, I plan to return to each world that had left a mark on me. I plan to live in and aid those worlds with my great magic and science, but to also spend time with those who I grew close to but could not take with me. But one day, they will grow old. And they will die. This will inevitable happened in every world I go to. Despite possessing knowledge greater than some who claim themselves gods, I had taken efforts to make sure that I still have the values and feeling of when I was mortal. Before all this began.
While this keeps me from losing control of myself and retains my focus on what I deem important, it will leave me vulnerable to the pain of loss. When I started, I thought that the companions I have acquired would be enough to see me through. But would it? Can it protect me from the pain of seeing a hundred loved ones die? And would the companions even stay for all of that? They too would have the curse so long as they stay with me. But they would still have a chance to end it. They have that option. But as I have built myself to withstand the death of stars themselves, I do not. And if they wished to, I do not think I would be able to say no.

I could, in theory, just grant everyone I cherish immortality. But then they would be forced to live with the curse also. The only way to truly solve it this way, would be to grant everyone that they love immortality also. But this way would most likely never see an end. It could lead to worlds that continue to grow, but see no death. To counter the strain of resources, I suppose I could use my infinite energy generators and Energy to Matter Fabricators. But I do not know what long lasting effects it could have. And even if resources and space was not a problem.

An easier path would be to just restart the jumps over again. Start fresh. But that alone is a depressing thought. Going through a world again and again, just to try to forget the pain. It would just end up like a long century longs version of Groundhog day. With them remembering nothing but I everything. With all of my tech, knowledge, and magic I could possible give them their memories of the time they spent with me. But the morality of that alone is questionable, even without the fact that they would be forced to live through the loop also.

The only person who may have the answers, is the one who let me take this journey in the first place. But, would she even bother with me anymore now that I have completed her game? Would she have answers? Would the only answer be to take away my powers, to allow me to die?

Maybe that's why Jumpchan started this quest. They declared it as a form if entertainment. It gives the idea of them being a bored, uncaring, cosmic being at first glance. But what if it was them searching for a way to live through these worlds as a mortal, and chose to do it by choosing a random one and following them. A vicarious living through someone else. I'm most likely just being presumptuous, but it gets me to think that I, despite not wishing to now, might try something like it myself.

So far, my only answer seems to be the use of my abilities that allow me to avoid emotion. I might endeavor to use and enhance these to the point that I no-longer feel anything. Without my emotions, without any emotions, it will change me. One could say that doing this will kill a part of me. But as it stands, that seems like a better option than an eternity of misery.

Special Notice:
Just to ruin the feeling. I thought up half of this while I was on the toilet.