not a date

12:04, little cafe on the corner of fuck if I remember, and Green Green was supposed to meet me for lunch. We agreed to disguises - personal reasons for her, and to dodge Shiraki, the Prophet, and god knows who else for me. Said I'd know her when I saw her. I tried to oblige in the same way.

...Probably still on her way. Wasn’t like everyone just…showed up for lunch right at twelve, on the dot. That would be retarded, and impossible. I was still wound up from the crisis from that morning and, even more than that, the meeting after. The meeting with Matsuda and her gang, where they stared us down like a pack of rabid animals that were about to turn on them.

+Yeah, fuck those guys. Bet we could get away with firebombing their HQ or…something.+ A not-voice bubbled up from the seat across from me. …Nico still loomed over me, with her eyes gouged out and her mouth ripped open, oozing something black and awful. A parody of a god damn amazon, dripping and towering and moving in ways a human shouldn't quite be able to.

I ran a quick check on my disguise again in my head. Neat black hair like Kong’s, fluffed out a little with little round, red glasses. Filled the body shape out a bit, and meshed her facial features with Karasawa’s. Mayumi was a little taller than me, so I had to deal with that too, and it came with the usual sort of awkward feeling. Thickened my vocal chords a little, changed my jacket color, good enough for…whatever. Good enough for her to get the idea.

Maybe good enough to impress her.

+Nothing? Come on, man. Don’t be a dick, be a dude. I’ve had my ladyboner on full murder since this morning and all we’ve done is stare at Tomoe’s ass all day.+

“I’m not lighting their HQ on fire,” I mumbled out loud. Shouldn’t make a habit of that. Didn’t care, right at that moment. “I’m trying to be cool. Okay? You remember what it means to be cool?”

+Yeah. Do you?+ Nico stuck a long, mutant tongue out, caked in black ichor, in what was I guess supposed to be a childish gesture.

12:05. She was coming, right? Of course she was coming. Ninth Officio was a couple of blocks away, Tenth wouldn't give her slack OR credit for her work...Seventh, maybe? They had people all over. ...Probably Ninth.

I stared down into milky, sugary coffee. …Still a little too hot.

+Pussy.+

12:06. Fuck. This was a mistake. She probably had better shit to do than-

“Dreamy?” A gentle, sweet voice sounded from behind me, with a tiny hint of hesitation to it. I waited a second, then glanced back and nodded. She seemed relieved, flashed me a soft smile. …Miracle Midori. She came as Miracle Midori, of course she came as Miracle Midori. Made me feel a little self-conscious. Probably looked like an asshole. Or a stalker. Or something.

“…Get here okay?” I grunted out as she settled in opposite me, Nico squeezing out of the way and settling into the booth behind her. …Looked like she planned on looming there for the whole fucking date. Wonderful.

Not date. It wasn’t a date. Shit.

“Ahh, it was kind of a busy morning, so I got out a little late…sorry!” Her eyes sparkled. Shouldn’t have been a surprise, but her Midori disguise blew all the times I’d tried it to shit. Probably put a lot of time into it, or maybe…that was just what she looked like? I’d hit it. “You haven’t been waiting too long, have you?”

“…Just got here,” I mumbled, hunkering down in my seat a little. …Fuck. Alright. Get it together, Cooldown. You pretend to be people for a god damn living. Just…think Mayumi. Think Murder Mayumi.

+Oh man, her hair smells great.+ Nico leaned in right next to her ear, drooling onto her shoulder. A fruity scent I couldn’t pin down filled my nose, seemed to fill my whole head, left me feeling a little dizzy. I pulsed, a quick, lazy Callidus check. Just…needed to make sure that wasn’t…what she was doing. The smell thing. Shit. Would that even tell me?

Green frowned a little and brushed her hair away, her hand passing through Nico’s face.

“Hey, we agreed…” We agreed that disguises were okay. That we wouldn’t try to tear them away or dig around or…whatever.

“Yeah. …It wasn’t that. …Long morning.” I tried to offer a smile, but it was weak and awkward and shitty and a huge mistake, fuck me.

“I understand.” Her expression brightened, and when the waitress came around again, we ordered. …She was cute. The uniform’d look great on Green.

…12:14. I was nursing my coffee and she hadn’t let go of her tea. Started just…kind of looking over there. Neither of us had spoken for a couple of minutes.

+So you’re pretty much going to bang her, right?+ Nico’d moved to the side of the table, sitting weightlessly on the edge. She changed into one of the waitress uniforms, just to fuck with me. +Like, that’s the plan? Because we’ve got like fifteen minutes to get her into a bathroom stall if we want anything more than a shitty quickie.+

“… …I really like your work. Your, uh. …Recent work. …Knew someone a lot like Mayumi, so…” Green perked up when I started talking again and nodded.

“Right, she reminded you of your girlfriend, right? …Sorry! Sorry...” A grin, an honest one, cracked my face as she stammered a little.

“…It’s fine. She’s gone.” It wasn’t fine, but I’d lie through my teeth all I needed to to keep Green around. “Better to move on. …Looking for something new, anyway.” That much was true; I had so much of my own shit to deal with lately, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to get wrapped up in Matsuda’s any more than I already had.

Our eyes met and she made a little noise, an awkward laugh. I couldn’t quite keep the smile off of my face. …Until I noticed Nico making jerk-off motions in the air and…maybe rolling her eyes? Wasn’t sure she could even do that.

+Would you knock that shit off?+ I forced my smile to stay as much as I could. …I could manage that much, I wasn’t so fucking green I couldn’t fake an expression. Most days. …She was looking for it, looking for what changed. Shit.

+It’s not like I have anything else to do. You’ve been working up this wicked revenge boner and all you’re fucking DOING with it is hoping Green will drop to her knees and put her fucking mouth on it.+ She froze for a second, then the enormous, dripping slash on her face widened, almost all the way up to her ears. Her hand turned black and indistinct, then reshaped itself into the shape of one of Real Nico’s cleavers.

+I could start cutting her up. You want me to start cutting her up? Could pretend she’s Matsuda’s little slut. They kinda look alike, y’know?+

“Hey.” I stood as much as I could at the booth and banged my fucking thighs on it, hissing out a couple of choice curses.

“W-what’s wrong? Is everything okay…?” Vivid red eyes lit up with worry, and I eased myself out of the booth.

“…Uhh.” I tried to think fast. Shit. I was usually better at this. Shit! “…Do you wanna…”

+Go to the bathroom?+

“Go to the bath…back? …Go out back? Get a smoke?”

+Hah, no way, it fucking worked!+

“…O…kay.” She nodded slowly, and we slipped out after leaving a few crumpled bills on the table. …Barely even touched that coffee.

---

It was a relief to have an excuse to just…lean up against a wall and smoke. Easiest thing in the world. Easy to look like you’re in control. Easy to look like you know what you’re doing, like you’re-

+A mysterious and super awesome scary badass. You really think that’s gonna get her panties dripping?+ Nico followed us, of course she followed us. She was mocking me, leaned up against the opposite wall, bullshitting her own face-fucked Miracle Midori disguise. Guess she was getting in the spirit of “… …You smoke?” Bet she things.

didn’t. Midori didn’t, didn’t like Mayumi doing it. I held the pack out anyway, and with some trepidation, she took a cigarette. Fumbled with it a little, slipping it between two fingers, then into her mouth.

“…Um, can you light it?” she murmured awkwardly a second later, and I held back a snicker. My lighter was already out, a big, fat, gold motherfucker with an eagle on it. I leaned in toward her and lit both of them at once, then inhaled nice and deep.

The cigarettes here were cheap vending machine trash, and I wasn’t sure if magical girls could even really get addicted to the shit. But the ritual of it was…yeah. It was calming. Helped me center. Helped me get a grip again. I could feel Nico pressing up against my psyche, making sure she got to stick around even after I collected myself. …Whatever. She wasn’t even pissing me off much today.

Might have actually jumped when Green started hacking it up next to me, though, clutching her cigarette in one hand while she coughed into the other.

“Sh, shit…” After her coughing settled down, she shot a sheepish smile up at me. “…I spent years trying to get my mom to quit, now look at me, huh…” Snorted at that, a little blast of hot smoke drifting out of my nostrils.

“Wouldn’t worry about quitting, cupcake. Looks like you can’t even start.” It was hard to keep the grin off my face. She glowered up at me, looked like she might try to hit me for that one. Her expression softened fast, though, and she let out a defeated snicker.

“Well…people offer all the time, but this is the first time I’ve said yes.” After a moment of deliberation, she brought the cigarette back to her lips and took another, apparently smaller drag. Managed to hold it in this time. Mostly.

+You took her smoke cherry! Congratulations, you can pretend that means something I guess.+ She was going to be bitching all day, seemed like.

“Well…work’s been stressful, and you asked, so…” Green shuffled her feet, and we smoked in silence for a few minutes.

12:27.

“So…you get pretty nervous when you’re not used to someone, huh?” I could already tell she was trying to get me back for laughing at her before. …It was working. I scratched at the back of my neck and looked away from her, lighting up another cigarette. I saw her edge in closer out of the corner of my eye, and grunted before she could ask again.

“Pretending to be Mayumi won’t save you, Dreamy.” After a second, she poked me in the arm with a manicured fingernail. Then a little higher. Then my cheek.

“… …I don’t do social calls. Most people can’t handle-“

“-coming face to face with a real monster.” She finished for me, and I tensed up. Shit. “I wrote that line. I told you, pretending to be Mayumi won’t save you.”

“…Y….yeah.”

+Stab her. Come on. It’ll make the problem go away, right? She’s stepping to you. Are you just gonna take that from some illusory manga bitch?+ My knife materialized in my hand, as if goading me to just listen to Nico and take the easy way out. I forced it away again with a few sparkles of light. …If Green saw the glint of the blade, she didn’t say anything about it.

“Sooo you like to paint, right?” Oh thank god, she had something else to talk about. “Tell me a little more about it.”

---

“…so we spent all this time thinking that she’d been kidnapped, but it turned out she’d just eloped without telling anyone and it left a really big mess.” Green realized it was easier for me to talk about work, eventually. I managed to goad her into a couple of stories, too, although I kept mine to the…less gory ones. The clean ones, the ones that almost sounded heroic. The ones I’d tell Elly.

“…Couldn’t handle that kind of job, myself. I’d just get pissed off and start…I don’t know. Shaking down yaks. With my knife.” I’d ended up flipping it in my hand while we talked. It was…easier? Maybe I wanted to show off a little. Disguised it just enough, I hoped. Weren’t exactly a lot of girls that ran around with magical kitchen knives.

“You really only do one kind of job, huh…” …When she put it that way, it was a little embarrassing. I flipped my knife as high into the air as I could, then snatched it on its way down, bringing the point a few millimeters from her nose. She didn’t flinch. My arm fell back to my side after a second, and I lazily tossed it from hand to hand instead.

“…I can do others.” I hadn’t in recent memory, but I could. I could change the weather with my fucking imagination, for chrissakes, of course I could do something stupid like track some asshole down or…whatever.

“It’s okay, I mean…I think it’s kind of cool. I couldn’t do that, though…I, um. I’d rather help people, whenever I can. Reunite families, or rescue people, or-“

“Midori stuff.”

“Yeah…Midori stuff.” She beamed at the comparison. …Some people really weren’t comfortable with the reality of our lives. Guess it made it easier for her to think she was doing something a little heroic. “And you do Mayumi stuff, huh?”

“…Guess so.” …And for some of us, it was easier to let our demons loose on whoever the fuck got in the way. An optimist might say that was one way someone as screwed up as we…as I was could help people. I wasn’t an optimist, but I wasn’t gonna stop her from sugarcoating it if she wanted.

…1:18. When I checked my phone, she checked hers, then squeaked out a curse.

“I’m really, really sorry, I’ve gotta fly. I was supposed to be back twenty minutes ago.” …Yeah. Probably had to get back myself. I nodded, though, and after a second of hesitation…

“…Couple blocks? QB Heavy?” She froze dead and opened her mouth.

“N-no. I mean, yes, but-“

“I’ll walk you. …Don’t plan on going inside or anything, just… …you know. …I’ll walk you.”

Green blinked for a second, then nodded slowly. Then again, quicker, with a smile.

“I think that’ll be okay. …You’re really a lot nicer than you want people to notice, huh?”

“…Whatever.” The both of us said it at the same time. She flashed me a shit-eating grin, and by the time I could respond, she was already on her way out of the alley.

…We made plans for this weekend. Provided work doesn’t assfuck us. Think I’m really looking forward to it.