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Topiary (Garden Anon) Pt. 1

Feb 3rd, 2013
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  1. >Day Workin’ Day in Equestria
  2. >You’ve been living here for…who knows….months for sure
  3. >Everyone has made you feel incredibly welcome, minus that one mint pony who seems to stalk you relentlessly…what’s her name?
  4. >Harp
  5. >It’s about 6 a.m.; time to do the usual:
  6. >Intake calories, intake caffeine, expel urine, expel fecal matter
  7. >Get dressed; jeans and a pair of gloves…shoes for today’s job
  8. >Hum the theme to the A-Team
  9. >You head for the front door of your small three-room cottage at the edge of town
  10. >Take the keys out of the bowl on the counter
  11. >Head out the door and grab your tools from the shed on the way to the first job
  12. >You never thought you’d have a knack for being a gardener, especially with a lavish career in electronic sales
  13. >Telling seniors you don’t have to pay for email stamps and that dial-up is no longer necessary. Riveting.
  14. >Everyone in the town seems to be impressed with how even you can make the hedges…considering you have hands. Because of this you are a very desirable individual
  15. >Only for manual labor though…
  16. >You are desperate for companionship in this strange world
  17. >Taking amateur drawing classes and writers blogs turned up no leads in the girlfriend department in the previous world
  18. >You snap out of it and check the notepad for the day
  19. >A lawn trim for Ms. Cherilee again; weed removal in front of Twilight’s; a hedge trim for a Ms. Fluttershy
  20. >Fluttershy
  21. >She’s that pegasus that lives near you. A little ways down the road in fact, but you’ve never talked to her more than once at some Christmas-esque pony ripoff party
  22. >You arrive at Cherilee’s and blaze through her “overgrown” 2 inch sod
  23. >Can’t pony’s just eat the grass themselves?
  24. >Oh well, you need the bits for rent
  25. >You make a short trek to the town library
  26. >Everything looks normal…no giant ivy or dandelions taking over the epicenter of the lawn
  27. >Small weeds instead
  28. >Get to it
  29. >Twilight’s is, again, almost too simple
  30. >People actually pay you for this?
  31. >You finish pulling up the three small patches of weeds in no time. Seems unlike Twilight to waste your apparent “natural talent” for gardening on this task
  32. >”Thank you for that Anon…I was worried people weren’t checking out books because they might have thought it was abandoned!” she says half-jokingly. She knows no one reads for fun. That’s lame.
  33. >You let out an awkward chuckle
  34. >Deep down you wish you had a large compilation of famous poets to share with these equines to swoon them for affection
  35. >Imagining her face the first time you recite T.S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land”
  36. Ha, not a problem, Twilight…always glad to help.
  37. >”So, what else are you up to today, Anon?” She has a glimmer in her purple pupils
  38. Uhh, well…I’ve got to go to Fluttershy’s house and trim some bush.
  39. >wat
  40. >You idiot
  41. OH! I mean…the hedges! I have to make them…all…flat and…stuff…
  42. >Smooth one. Twilight giggles at your faux pau anyways
  43. >”Sounds like an interesting day planned!”
  44. >Her hoof kicks the dirt
  45. >” Maybe…after that, if you aren’t too busy that is, and only IF you want to, we could…I don’t know, get something to eat together?”
  46. >She is obviously covering her nervousness up a friendly nudge on your shoulder that she didn’t mean to be so rough
  47. >OH WOW HOLY GOSH SHE FINALLY ASKED ME! KLDVNKSMNASDAKJSFKJSKFLAJL
  48. >After months of having feelings for purple smart, and having zero social skills at all, one of you finally broke the relationship silence
  49. >You really like Twilight. She is cultured, friendly, and seems caring enough to spare some kindness your way; being the first pony to do so when you first arrived
  50. >She is like you: introverted and shy
  51. >You still have the scarf she got you for the aforementioned Christmas holiday thing
  52. …you mean, like….dinner? Together? I mean, I’d pay of course. I’d really love THAT!
  53. >You emphasize the wrong part of the sentence and throw everything off balance. The boat has capsized
  54. >You can’t contain your smile
  55. >Who cares
  56. >blushing, “Oh well, that would be very courteous of you Anon…”
  57. Well…maybe we could eat at the new place…..uh, “Le Sac D'alimentation”?
  58. >Your French is awful
  59. >”That sounds great! I can’t wait!”
  60. >You decide to delay her payment for now. You want to smooth things over even more. Not that you did that much work anyhow
  61. >Twilight is overjoyed about the plans
  62. I’m really glad we can have some time to….get to know eachother a little more
  63. >Your face is on fire
  64. >”So am I Anon. Make sure to bring back my book this time!”
  65. >You borrowed a ponified “Iliad”
  66. >Ecstatic, you pack up
  67. >Tools in hand, grass stains galore, you head home.
  68. > Man, things seem so…”YES” today
  69. >You walk briskly…with PURPOUS
  70. >You got a DATE
  71. >A REAL DATE
  72. >YOUR FIRST EVER
  73. >(with a pony)
  74. >Your cottage is in plain view as you jostle for your keys
  75. >You hear a squeek
  76. >You think you hear a mouse….a loud one at that. Maybe Equestrian mice can talk after all
  77. >“E-exscuse me….uhm…are you t-the gardener?”
  78. >You whip around and are surprised when your gaze at the ground is of a pulsating shadow instead of a cute little mouse
  79. >A yellow pony with butterflies on her flank is hovering above you, fidgeting with her hooves
  80. Oh, uh…yes I am. Can I help you?
  81. >”Well uhm…I was just wondering if you were going to get to my hedges today…?”
  82. >In your joy to end the work day, you must have neglected Fluttershy
  83. Oh! Yes, I’m sorry…I guess I forgot. Let me get my shears and I’ll head right over
  84. >You pick up the pace and fetch the shears from the shed, snapping the air like a mad man as you walk
  85. >Fluttershy’s cottage is overgrown with grass, saplings, leaves and wild flowers. She greats you at the walkway
  86. >”Oh…h-hi….it’s the hedges is all….the ones by the w-windows…”
  87. >They must be at least 6 feet high
  88. Wow, I bet they’re really cutting the light inside, huh? When’s the last time they were cut?
  89. >”Oh, well I’d never cut them…they didn’t do anything wrong. They can’t help it…”
  90. ..okay…so you DON’T want them trimmed?
  91. >”N-no…I do…”
  92. >She must really care for...stuff...
  93. >You shrug and get to it anyways. Tomorrow is already the 10th and that jerk Filthy Rich isn’t exactly an easy guy to deal with when the problem is late-to-pay tenants
  94. >God you hate him
  95. >You try to ignore the thought by shooting the breeze
  96. So can I ask how come we have never really met before? I mean, I’ve heard Twilight talk about you lots of times…but that’s all
  97. >”Oh…I’m sorry. How rude of m-me…”
  98. No need to apologize, we can catch up more now. Never too late to meet someone new
  99. >You can see her ears perk up in the reflection of the window
  100. >”So uhm….” Fluttershy whispers through your grunts and tool noises
  101. >”D-do you live around here by chance?”
  102. Yeah actually, just up the path; a half-mile or so
  103. >She seems excited about your location, like she found some secret treasure map from ages passed
  104. >”Are you usually busy….on w-weeknds….?”
  105. Not usually. I try to reserve that day for relaxing
  106. >Fluttershy tries to pry more
  107. >”Well….maybe you could come back some other time and help with some….watering o-or maybe help with some inside work? I-if it’s not too much trouble…”
  108. >You did do some construction work with your uncle during the summer. And this place seems a bit…overgrown at best. The least you could do for having ignored your neighbor this long
  109. Well, sure…I think I could manage that easily. What exactly do you need help with?
  110. >”Well…some stuff in the kitchen…a-and maybe the…b-bedroom……” she trails off and looks away
  111. >”There’s a lot of trouble in the bedroom I’d like some help with…” Fluttershy’s voice is low and firm
  112. >That stutter makes her hard to read otherwise. But if she’s got the dosh, you’re in
  113. >You finish up and collect the clippings
  114. I can be over whenever you’d like. Just come get me a day before and we can get things sorted out
  115. >”Oh, th-that’s great news! I can come over anytime?”
  116. Sure thing, just leave a note or something if I’m not there
  117. >You wipe the small perspiration from your brow and gather your supplies and head back towards home; after collecting your 15 bits of course
  118. >You put the cottage behind you one step at a time until-
  119. >”Wait! I didn’t even get your n-name mister…”
  120. Oh, my apologies. My name is Anonymous; but please…call me Anon
  121. >Fluttershy’s eyes light up
  122. >”Well, th-thank you, Anon…I’ll see you in a few days”
  123. >She looks pleased
  124. >Probably nothing…
  125. >You walk home with a happy spring in your step
  126. Maybe this is when things start to finally get good.
  127. >The day was slowed down a little by your neighbor
  128. >That darn Fluttershy
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