No More Pirates (Emi)

No More Pirates


“Huh.” I say simply, looking at the massive sign that towers above our heads.

“Isn't it great?” The girl standing beside me grins from ear to ear, almost looking like... no, she actually is, she's bouncing up and down in excitement, her more realistic, going-out prosthetics making light clacking noises.

“So this was your big plan to end summer vacation with a bang?” I glance around. An amusement park. I've actually never been to one before, there used to be something like this in the city where I grew up, but it had been long since closed down. And abandoned. And creepy. We used to tell stories about it at school, daring eachother to sneak in and stay there overnight. I can only think of one kid who actually did it, and man, was he cool. I remember spending the rest of the school year hoping someone would dare me to do the same thing, so I could be as cool as him. But it never happened. And, uh, here I am now, standing next to an overly excited little ball of energy.

“Yeah!” Emi strides up to the entrance, looking perfectly at home. Although I guess that's normal, since this place looks the exact opposite of abandoned, it's filled with people. It's probably too late to prove my bravery now anyway.

“You've been here before, I take it?” We get into line to buy tickets, although I notice that I'm the only one with their wallet out.

Emi's smile never wavers. “I used to come here a lot.” She says, looking me straight in the eyes. “With my dad.”

She says it completely calmly, completely openly, the mention of her father not carrying a drop of pain. Is she that comfortable with me now, that she can talk about him so openly? Or does this place just have so many good memories attached to it, that even though she's always strong, bad memories can't even touch her here? I don't know. But as I stare back into those bright green eyes, I can't help but return her smile.

I have no doubt that this place holds many, many warm memories for her, and something tells me that we're about to make a good deal more. Emi turns, craning her neck to try to spot some of her favorite attractions. She must have found one that she liked, because she gets something of a wicked grin on her face as she looks back at me.

“I know where I want to go first.” She says. Emi, Emi, stop smiling like that, really.

No doubt at all, this is going to be a day to remember. I just hope I'll live to tell the tale.



“Huuuh.” I glance around the large, open building, looking at the various stalls of food on every corner. People stream around us on all sides, couples, families, the occasional lost-looking old person. Little kids who are wearing more of their ice cream instead of eating it, I shudder.

“This is where you wanted to go first?” I ask, turning to Emi. She nods, looking a little too innocent.

“I skipped breakfast this morning.” She says.

“But breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” I say blankly, reciting her words with practiced ease. Emi grins.

“That's exactly why we're going to make up for it right now.” She replies.

I take another look around the plaza. Foods of all kinds are on display here, but almost all of them seem to be of western origin. Actually, that seems like a running theme for the entire amusement park. There's a stall selling baked potatoes, another selling burgers and fries, one that specializes in... some kind of solid block of french fries, how horrifying.

“I don't think any of the food here looks very healthy.” I turn back to Emi, but she's gone.

“Did you say something, Hisao?” I hear her calling me from one of the lines. Somehow, she's already at the front, and a moment later she walks over, carrying some sort of bun with a thick wad of saucy meat wedged in the middle. It doesn't look healthy at all.

“What. Is that?” I eye the item that she's carrying in a little paper boat with suspicion. Emi squirms only the tiniest bit, the only indication that she feels guilty about eating something like this.

“It's a sloppy joe.” She says, looking up at me. “Want some?”

“It certainly looks sloppy.” Is that--it is, the juice is bleeding into the bun. “Who's joe?”

“I dunno.” Emi takes a big bite of her sandwich, if you could call it that, before smiling mischievously. “Mayfbe I coulf be yourf joe toniff.” She says in between chews. I can't watch this any longer.

“If you're breaking the rules, maybe I will too.” I say, marching towards a stall selling cotton candy. Behind me, Emi lets out an indignant gasp.

“Hisao Nakai, you can't eat cotton candy for breakfast!” She says. I hear her bite into her sloppy thing again.

“Call the cops, see if I care.” I say with a grin. I turn back to the lethargic looking youth standing behind the counter. It turns out, they also sell lemonade at this stall. And I am kind of thirsty, hmm.

“Is your lemonade freshly squeezed?” I ask, even though I feel kind of like a jerk for being picky.

The employee scowls at me. “Dude, I have never seen a lemon in my life.”

“Count yourself lu--wait.” I know that voice. “Kenji?”

The boy on the other end of the counter raises the baseball cap that had previously been pulled low over his face, and I see the familiar, bottle-thick glasses and mop of black hair. I can't help but wonder just how much of anything he's seen in his life with eyes like that.

“Oh hey dude.” Kenji says, suddenly chipper. “You caught me with my pants down.”

Technically, I can't see his pants from this side of the counter, but I'm really not interested in finding out if he's speaking figuratively or not.

“Right. So what are you doing here?” I glance back at Emi, who's peeking at one of the ice cream stands, biting her lip. Maybe I should keep this conversation short, for all our sakes.

I look back at Kenji, who's peering around the plaza suspiciously. “My mother got me this job to make a little extra cash over summer break. You know, replenish my stocks, help me shore up my defenses a bit. Just don't give away my secret identity, okay man? I'm exposed enough here as it is.”

I really doubt he's in any danger, and if he is, I'm sure my wallet is is more trouble. Emi is walking this way, stars in her eyes.

“Sure, sure.” I say to Kenji. “But some cotton candy might help buy my silence.”

“Yeah, whatever, that's fine.” Kenji reaches for a stick, accepting the coins I offer in exchange like this is some sort of black market deal. “You don't want the lemonade anyway, they make it with powder and a hose in the back.”

“You're kidding.” I hand the cotton candy somewhere behind me, where it immediately disappears from my grip, replaced by the sound of Emi munching right away.

Kenji shrugs. “Naw, dude. Western style, or something.”

It's just as well, I can't say I care much for lemon-flavored anything these days. I bid Kenji farewell before trying to salvage the scraps of my cotton candy that Emi will permit me to have. Now that she's stocked up on sugar--and making a vague promise to burn it all off later, with my help--it's off to the rides.



“Prepare to die!” Emi shouts, charging towards me with her bumper boat at full speed. I'm trying to move to avoid her, but I think my engine just died, I swear she's cheating somehow. With a thud, her boat crashes into mine, this day will live in infamy.

“I caught you.” The little girl behind the wheel declares triumphantly. She reverses for a moment and then bumps into me again for emphasis. “Give me all your treasure.”

“I don't have any treasure.” I grumble. I grip the small water cannon mounted on the front of my boat, turning it towards her. “But I do have something for you.”

With a playful shriek, Emi tries to swerve to avoid the oncoming jet of water, but for once, she's too slow. Luckily for her it's a warm day out, unluckily for me, the green camisole that she wears over her white shirt foils any chance at riches that I might get. For now, at least. Oblivious to our drama on the high seas, small children putter around us in the small, circular pool of the bumper boats ride. We're, uh, the oldest people here, some of the parents standing nearby are looking at us with disapproval. But maybe we'll make them walk the plank.

“I'll get you for this.” Emi reverses her craft, letting out a yelp as she backs into one of the other players.

Our game intensifies, the dull, flat sounds of our engines masking the true depth of strategy and tenacity that the two of us employ. She tries to ram me at full throttle again but I avoid her, she bumps into the wall. An ill-timed blast of water from my boat misses her entirely, instead soaking an innocent twelve year old who was driving in circles behind her. The next moment, I'm wondering just how many friends a twelve year old can have, as I'm dodging water blasts from what appears to be every other boat here. Emi is leading the charge, one first raised in the air as if it were a red flag, or one with a skull and crossbones on it.

“Charge!” She shouts, and a formation of boats descends on me. How the hell can a bunch of kids be so organized? I'm twisting and bucking with all my might but I think my engine is giving out again, got to... got to... there. I manage to avoid their pincer move, or whatever impromptu strategy that grade schoolers are capable of pulling off, but just as I reach safety, I turn my head to see Emi's boat bearing down on me. She's leaning over the front, eyes narrowed in determination and wearing a bright grin, as if her victory is already decided.

“Hisaaoooo!” She shouts. She's getting a little too into this, I think. Just as she begins to get close though, her engine dies, and so does mine. The dull murmurs of protest from the other players tell me that our time on this game is over. Emi's boat slows to a dead stop right in front of mine, and she glowers, putting on her best pouty expression.

“Looks like we'll have to call it a draw.” I say with a shrug. Emi blinks at me for a moment. And then reaches for the water cannon on the front of her boat.

Oh there's no way that it still has poweblgblghlgbhghbg. The next thing I know, I'm wet, and an amusement park employee who looks like he wishes he had stayed in school is pushing our boats to the edge of the pool so we can get out.

“I don't do draws.” Emi grins as we step out and onto dry land. I don't think I'll ever get my sea legs like this.

“So I noticed. Now I'm wet.” I'm dripping all over the place, you'd think a ride like this would come with a complimentary towel or something.

“How do you think I feel?” She retorts.  “An eye for an eye!” Oh yeah, I guess she's pretty wet too. I was actually planning on using her to help dry myself off, but... you know what, I'll do it anyway.

“An eye for an eye, huh?” I take a step forward and Emi peers up at me as if she could read my mind. “Got anything else to trade?”

“Pirates don't trade.” She replies, quickly raising herself up to plant a kiss on my lips. With all the little kids around, even she must have some shame though, because she withdraws a moment later, blushing slightly.

“They take.” She says, flashing me another bright grin, before skipping off towards another ride.

“Come on!” She calls back to me. “I bet I'll dry off before you do!”

“That's not fair, you got hosed first!” I move to catch up with her. Emi giggles, maybe I'll buy a bottle of water to even the odds.



“Miss!” The game attendant says with a shrug. Who knew it was so hard to land a ring around a stupid bottle? It doesn't look hard at all. I feel deflated already, but I still have a couple more throws. Next to me, Emi's lips are pursed in anticipation, she dragged me over here as soon as she saw the massive stuffed animals that were hanging on the roof of the game as prizes. I almost don't know if I want to win, I'm sure that if I do, Emi will stick me with the job of carrying them and--

“Miss!” The employee makes the smallest effort to look apologetic that I've ever seen, before immediately pulling out his cell phone and tapping away as if we didn't exist anymore. Next to me, Emi scowls.

She shoots me a half annoyed, half playful look. “Do you even throw?” She asks, before walking up to the attendant.

“One more game.” She says, handing him a couple coins. Funny thing, my wallet feels a little bit lighter.

For all her big talk, Emi has almost as much difficulty landing one of the rings as I do. Almost. She manages to score just enough to win one of the “jumbo” prizes, a word that I'm sure would make our English teacher cringe. The attendant unhooks the gigantic stuffed animal, a fuzzy lion that's probably the mascot for a cable company or something, and offers it to Emi with one hand. He's still holding his phone in the other, I think that probably means he's been working here too long.

Emi accepts the prize gleefully, hugging it tightly. It's so big that it almost dwarfs her small, toned frame, and we only get a few steps before she has to force it on me. To be honest, she would probably be fine, if its weight caused her to keel over, I'm sure it would do a good job of absorbing the impact. But she doesn't seem to want to take the risk, as happy as she is that she won it. As I struggle to look around the stuffed animal in my arms, all I can think is that I should have seen this coming. Oh wait, I did.



It turns out that carrying around such a sizable prize can be a pain, so we make a trip back to the huge building filled with food stalls. I try to make our visit short but Kenji refuses to store our lion behind the counter until I confess that there's actually secret intelligence reports smuggled inside. Then he stands at attention and fires a crisp salute, a job well done soldier and all that. By the time I manage to peel away from him, Emi is walking back to me holding some sort of sugar-coated, bread-like... thing.

“What is. That.” I squint at the object in her hands. The whole thing is covered with a light dusting of sugar, and half of it contains a glob of what looks like jam, while the other half is lightly smeared with butter. I can feel my body begin moving stuff around to prepare for the inches on my waistline that I'll be adding on shortly.

Emi takes a bite of the thing before answering. “Iff an elephanf earf.” She says, chewing a little too gleefully.

“Is that legal? I thought you weren't allowed to shoot elephants.” I raise an eyebrow, and Emi shrugs.

“It's okay if they're made out of bread, I guess.” She says after swallowing. She offers it to me and I accept, careful not to actually touch the greasy surface.

“This is bread?” I ask, inspecting it closely. Emi looks thoughtful.

“I think so. Just try it!” She replies, and so I do.

Not bad. Sorry, elephant.



“Hey Hisao.”

“No.”

“Oh.”

We continue to ride the Ferris wheel in silence for a little while longer. The sight of the theme park below us, now a little too far away for comfort, makes me wonder if I would have had trouble doing something like this before I had met the girl sitting next to me. I have no doubt that my heart is a lot stronger now than it was when I first arrived, but even then, roller coasters or anything like that are a bad idea. Still, it's not like there aren't plenty of fun things for a captain and her first mate--she insists that we're still equals, even though I don't think that's the definition of a first mate--to do. In fact, there might be a little bit too much to do.

“Hey Hisao.”

“Nope.”

“Aww.”

We continue to climb higher and higher, I don't think I want to look over the side anymore. Instead, I turn to peer at the girl sitting next to me, who stares back with sparkling eyes.

The ride grinds to a halt just as we reach the top, I groan inwardly. Emi doesn't even try to contain the grin that spread across her face.

“Heeeyy Hisao.” She says, narrowing her eyes. I stare back at her for a few moments.

“Fine.”



By the time we get off the Ferris wheel, at least I know for sure that our bet is back on equal grounds, our clothes are both at about the equal level of dampness now. Emi manages to get a leg up on me--er, that is, she pulls ahead of me by standing directly in the sun as I take a stab at another one of the games. This time, it involves selecting the correctly labeled duck out of a pool of lookalikes.

“It's that one. That one!” Emi points, but all I see is too many damn ducks.

“How about you come over here and help me?” I look back at her, frowning. She shrugs.

“You don't need my help. I believe in you.” She replies, turning so that her back can absorb more sun. I sigh, something tells me I'm not going to win this bet anyway, I might as well focus on winning this game.

Let's see, ducks, ducks, ducks. Damn, I don't have any clue which is the right one. Screw it. I pick one up at random, and it's no surprise when the bottom declares that I'm not a winner, but I should definitely try again. Yeah, about that.

I set the duck back down, turning to find Emi standing right behind me. She looks pretty dry. I glance down at my own clothes, I am, um, not pretty dry.

I gesture over my shoulder towards the game. “I lost.”

Emi doesn't look disappointed in the slightest. “That's okay.” She says, looking up at me. “I won.”

“Now hold on, I didn't agree to--” But she takes me by the hand and begins pulling me away.

“Implied consent, come on!”

“I don't think that means what you think it means!”



“...Huh.” At least this time, we aren't the oldest people in line. There are plenty of others our age, the vast majority of them being couples, which I guess would make sense.

“Tunnel Of Love”, the sign reads. As I watch, a small raft disappears into the opening, vanishing from sight and headed into the unknown.

No, I definitely did not agree to this. I turn to Emi, who stands in line next to me, fidgeting a bit.

“This is what you wanted for winning our bet?” I ask.

She smiles, but a little nervously. “Well, I've never been on it before, and I always... wanted to try, so.”

I nod. “It looks like a dangerous voyage.” I take another look at the other people in line with us. Most of them are either already hugging or doing similar, sappy things, and I think I even recognize a few familiar faces. I'm pretty sure that's Molly and Takashi, a little bit ahead of us. And behind us... is that Taro and Ikuno? Huh, they make a cute couple, I guess.

The line moves up, and we shuffle a little bit forward. What is this tension? Why do I feel like I'm about to walk the plank or something? The little, log-shaped boat that the ridegoers sit in is even surrounded by water, is it infested with sharks?

“I don't know about this.” I say as we take a few more steps forward. Emi glances up at me, blushing and looking a little awkward. Again, I'm grateful that my heart has come a long way since we first met, because I don't think I would have been able to stand such a sight back then.

“C'moon, Hisao.” She says, placing her hands behind her back. On something of a... thicker... girl, this might have the effect of pushing her chest forward, but no such luck with Emi. Maybe if she keeps eating like she has been today, but I doubt that will happen.

She must realize that her feminine wiles aren't quite working right now, because she shifts into her puppy eyes, damn, not the puppy eyes.

“You wouldn't follow your fearless captain on a voyage through the tunnel of love?” She asks, tilting her head to one side as she peers up at me. Uurgh.

“Do you have any idea what actually goes on during this thing?” I ask. I thought rides like this were a joke, or some sort of thing of the past, but apparently not. We move a little further up the line.

“No idea!” She says, grinning. “That's why it's exciting. It's an adventure.”

“An adventure, huh.”

“Yeah!” She continues to look up at me, but lets her charm drop. Emi stares straight into my eyes, with no tricks, no ploys. She just looks at me, straight and honest, like she did when we arrived, when she mentioned her father.

I love this girl when she's playful, I love it when she's teasing me or motivating me, or doing just about anything else. But somehow, seeing her like this, just being straight, just being real. It's moments like this that I realize just how truly lucky I am to have met Emi, and that she let me get this close to her. I don't think I've ever met someone as strong as Emi, and I'm not sure I'll meet someone like her ever again. One is all can handle, one is all I need. One is all I am way, way too lucky to have managed to get.

“Come on.” She says again, smiling softly. I look into those bright green eyes, and even though this is just some stupid attraction at an amusement park, I can't help but feel like it's something more. I don't know, maybe it's all that unhealthy food going to my head. But maybe this ride will be a chance to burn some of those calories, or something, who knows.

Fine then, little girl. I'll go on an adventure with you. I'll go wherever you lead me, even if it's... the tunnel of love.

I suddenly realize that we're at the front of the line. The attendant calls for us to step forward and into the little boat that sits waiting. Beside me, Emi grins nervously, her face a little red.

“Lead the way, captain.” I say, gesturing for her to step forward. Emi laughs.

“Not without my first mate.” She says, reaching to take my hand in hers.





“No More Pirates” is a song by Chris Garneau.