Too Slow

>You awake in the middle of the day to the sound of knocking on your door.
>Roll off the couch and faceplant on the floor.
>Then you speed upstairs and take a shit, shave your face, shower, and get dressed in ten seconds flat.
>Because you are Anon.
>The fastest being in the universe!
>You quickly open the door and Fluttershy is flying there.
>She smiles.
>"Wanna make a bet?"
"Depends. What is it?"
>She lands and looks up at you.
>"If I can do something faster than you today, then you have to have sex with me. Deal?"
>You stroke your chin in deep thought.
"If I win, what do I get?"
>"I won't come over for the next month."
>She seems confident...
"Fine. You're on."


>She's brought you to Sweet Apple Acres.
>Rainbow is with you guys.
>"For round one, you must race to the barn!"
"You're pretty stupid Fluttershy."
>She sticks her tongue out to you.
>Rainbow holds a whistle.
>"On your mark..."
>You bend down.
>"Get set..."
>She blows the whistle and you take off speeding through the fields of trees.
>You get to the barn in a few seconds and have a nice meal cooked by Granny Smith while you wait for Shy.
>A few minutes later, Fluttershy comes flying out of there fast and stops when she sees you eating apple pie.
"Oh hi Fluttershy!"
>You wave to her and she falls over panting.


>You're now in SugarCube Corner
>Rainbow speaks.
>"For the second round, it is a speed eating competition!"
>One cherry pie is put in front of each of you.
>Shit...you're still pretty full from Granny Smith's amazing meal...
>"Go!"
>Fluttershy slams her head into the pastry and begins devouring it.
>You scoop up handfulls at a time and shove them into your mouth.
>This is messy as hell.
>After a few scoops, you can't take it anymore and are about to quit.
>Just then, Fluttershy pulls her head away from the clean plate.
>Rainbow holds up her hoof.
>"We have a winner!"
>Some ponies look over at you confused.
>"It looks like you're tied! Well I guess that means no pony wins."
>You all leave the place and Rainbow goes home.
>When you're about to walk into your house, Fluttershy stops you.
>"Hey, at least it was fun. Right?"
"I guess..."
>You hold your stomach.
>"High hoof!"
>She puts a hoof up and you bump it.
>"Down low!"
>She puts the hoof down and you go to bump it.
>But she pulls away at the last second.
>You stare at your hand and realize what has just happened.
>Sweat begins forming on your forehead.
>Fluttershy flies up to your ear and whispers, "Too...slow..."
>Guess tonight you'll be.
>Fucking Fluttershy.

Based off:
http://resource.mmgn.com/Gallery/normal/Too-slow-sonic-1041428.jpg