I'm a stay at home mom to our two kids and he works tons (100+ hours a week) he's also a bit older than me,6 years. I'll use those as explanations as to why I haven't really got involved with our bills/income/debt. Any time I would ask I would get an "I have it handled" or "don't worry about it, everything is fine". He had the mentality of I make the money and am older than you so I obviously know what I'm doing. He doesn't. I finally sat him down and had a talk about everything, how he works way too much and makes way too much money for us always to be so broke. That I wanted to be included in our finances and see what was going on.


I see lots of people here talk about mint.com and decided I would make us an account. I made him give me the login and passwords for everything and a list of our bills...WOW. I've been crying for probably the past hour. I had no clue it was this bad.


I'm overwhelmed and I need help. I need a plan to start paying all of this debt off. He admitted to a few things. 1.Even when we dont have the money for something, he will tell me we do "because he hates telling me no and doesnt want to see the kids go without anything". As sweet as that sounds, its idiotic. If we dont have the money for something then we dont have it,end of story. 2. He's taken out numerous loans and "consolidated our debt" multiple times but then maxed out everything he'd just paid off. He's used some really shitty loan companies too (one main financial) even after people telling him it would be better to go through a bank. I cant find a single good thing about one main, and the loan he has through them is huge,at least to me. It's like he went to the first place he could find and just signed whatever he had to without reading anything.

I've skimmed through the FAQ and rules and didn't see anything about asking for help with planning  a budget. I'm not sure if this post if going against the rules or not. Once I get some responses I will answer whatever questions are asked

TL;DR Finally take a look at our finances that husband has handled since I was 18, we're $200,000 in debt. Need help making a budget and paying this off as fast as possible. Will post bill/balance amounts if anyone is interested in helping.

****Added bills and balances since all of you awesome people are willing to help. I really wasn't sure if doing this was against the rules or not so i didn't want to put everything out there just yet. sorry!

As far as his pay,its bi-weekly, and is different every time....by the thousands. If I try to do the smart thing and budget for just 40 hours, that wouldn't even cover the bills. He makes all of his money in overtime, and even more money when he's sent overseas, but that hasn't happened much this year. I got an average of his last four checks-$3,355

Our mortgage is $1,214.68 a month

Electricity-$300

Water-$75

Cable-$75

Internet-$70

Cell phones-$250 a month

Car Note-$628

Insurance-$172

He has a credit card through our furniture store. Pays 120 a month and it has a $700 balance

Pay $100 a month towards his hospital bills. $2000 balance

Best Buy Card-Balance $85

Capital one card-$360 Balance

ANOTHER capital one card-$485 Balance

Shell card-$572 Balance

Care credit card(more medical expenses)$600 balance

He borrowed money from my grandma to pay for a tooth extraction,owes her $640 pays 100/month

AND ONE MAIN FINANCIAL $305.25 a month $18,000 BALANCE

I'm working on finding interest rates, but for some reason they arent out in the open on our accounts. I'll update asap

SOME MORE INFO
We still owe $138,000 on the house and $44,650 on my car.
No I dont drive a hummer. He traded in his truck (he was upside down on and only owned a year) for a family vehicle. 2013 Ford Edge.
I know, another dumb mistake :(