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theonetheycallmonk

The Day He Came to Town (Song Parody)

Feb 21st, 2013
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  1. Loosely based on - American Pie - Don Mclean
  2. -------
  3. >A long, long time ago,
  4. In a place far far away where horses rule and gryphons roam...
  5. Lived the only human in the land, transported there by magic and glam
  6. Oh, how he wished he could go back home....
  7. And...
  8. Some days he would cry a while,
  9. Wondering why the fates did not smile upon his demented destiny.
  10. He seldom made it past the door - the mares were waiting while he implored
  11. 'Please just let me enjoy this day and go away'
  12. And their response was always the same, the day he came to town...
  13.  
  14. 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
  15. 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
  16. With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
  17. 'Someday Anon will be mine'
  18. 'Someday Anon will be mine'
  19.  
  20. >He didn't write the book of love, but he was a unwitting Casanova of
  21. All those mares in town.
  22. He couldn't rock and roll. Nor did the power of music move his soul, but
  23. Rarity taught him how to dance real slow.
  24. They were all in love with him, oh bed room eyes he got at the gym.
  25. Rainbow would try to steal his shoes - in a flaming blaze of blue!
  26. He was an annoyed, lonely, human man with only his two hands.
  27. But he knew he was gonna get slammed, the day he came to town...
  28.  
  29. Cause they were singing
  30. 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
  31. 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
  32. With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
  33. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  34. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  35.  
  36. >For ten months he'd been on his own, always rolling like a smooth stone
  37. But,
  38. That's now how it always used to be...
  39. When the Princess came to see the human of destiny she wore a necklace
  40. made by Rarity
  41. She spoke in a voice most beloved
  42. While he was bowing to the ground, she placed a hoof upon his crown
  43. The p0nies were overjoyed - oh the affection they could employ!
  44. And while Twilight read a book on sex, Pinkie sang love songs in hex,
  45. Anon hid at home in the dark, the day he came to town!
  46.  
  47. Cause Princess was singing
  48. 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
  49. 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
  50. With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
  51. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  52. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  53.  
  54. >They ran faster faster through the swelter - Anonymous tried to run back to his p0ny shelter
  55. Eight miles back and closing fast!
  56. He tripped and landed most foul
  57. The mares tried to make him last, but it only ended up with Anonymous in a cast.
  58. The hospital's air wasn't sweet perfume, and mares all came to play a marching tune,
  59. He got up to run away, He didn't want to see them play.
  60. Running for the door - he wasn't stopped by any horse!
  61. But yet they all recall, the day he came to town!
  62.  
  63. Cause they were singing
  64. 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
  65. 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
  66. With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
  67. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  68. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  69.  
  70. >Oh, and then they were all in place, a generation lost to Anon's face,
  71. with no desire to be just his friend.
  72. So come on Shy be nimble, Shy be quick - Cause Shy tried to sit on his meat stick cause'
  73. She was sure it was his fetish!
  74. And as he ran up on the stage, Twilight's horn tried to quench his boner's rage.
  75. No magic devised in hell, could bring him under her spell!
  76. And he ran into the night, the mares all tried to complete the rite
  77. He saw Luna laughing with delight, the day he came to town.
  78.  
  79. She was singing
  80. 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
  81. 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
  82. With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
  83. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  84. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  85.  
  86. >For a while he sang the blues, begging the mirror for some better news...
  87. But his reflection just sighed, and walked away...
  88. So he went to the music store, were the sales-mare would implore,
  89. 'Anonymous would you be, my special somep0ny.'
  90. In the streets: he released a scream, the stallions gasp and the mares finally got their dream,
  91. But not a word was spoken, his rational thoughts were all broken.
  92. So he asked the p0ny he admired most, for some time alone together on the coast,
  93. and Applejack was most verbose, the day he came to town.
  94.  
  95. And she was singing,
  96. 'Mah Mah, this Anonymous guy'
  97. 'Now he's mah special somep0ny, and I've been waitin' a time'
  98. With all the jealous mares watching from the side lines, saying
  99. 'One day, Anon will be mine'
  100. 'One day, Anon will be mine'
  101.  
  102. >And they were singing,
  103. 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
  104. 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
  105. With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
  106. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
  107. 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
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