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- Loosely based on - American Pie - Don Mclean
- -------
- >A long, long time ago,
- In a place far far away where horses rule and gryphons roam...
- Lived the only human in the land, transported there by magic and glam
- Oh, how he wished he could go back home....
- And...
- Some days he would cry a while,
- Wondering why the fates did not smile upon his demented destiny.
- He seldom made it past the door - the mares were waiting while he implored
- 'Please just let me enjoy this day and go away'
- And their response was always the same, the day he came to town...
- 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
- 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
- With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
- 'Someday Anon will be mine'
- 'Someday Anon will be mine'
- >He didn't write the book of love, but he was a unwitting Casanova of
- All those mares in town.
- He couldn't rock and roll. Nor did the power of music move his soul, but
- Rarity taught him how to dance real slow.
- They were all in love with him, oh bed room eyes he got at the gym.
- Rainbow would try to steal his shoes - in a flaming blaze of blue!
- He was an annoyed, lonely, human man with only his two hands.
- But he knew he was gonna get slammed, the day he came to town...
- Cause they were singing
- 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
- 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
- With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- >For ten months he'd been on his own, always rolling like a smooth stone
- But,
- That's now how it always used to be...
- When the Princess came to see the human of destiny she wore a necklace
- made by Rarity
- She spoke in a voice most beloved
- While he was bowing to the ground, she placed a hoof upon his crown
- The p0nies were overjoyed - oh the affection they could employ!
- And while Twilight read a book on sex, Pinkie sang love songs in hex,
- Anon hid at home in the dark, the day he came to town!
- Cause Princess was singing
- 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
- 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
- With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- >They ran faster faster through the swelter - Anonymous tried to run back to his p0ny shelter
- Eight miles back and closing fast!
- He tripped and landed most foul
- The mares tried to make him last, but it only ended up with Anonymous in a cast.
- The hospital's air wasn't sweet perfume, and mares all came to play a marching tune,
- He got up to run away, He didn't want to see them play.
- Running for the door - he wasn't stopped by any horse!
- But yet they all recall, the day he came to town!
- Cause they were singing
- 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
- 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
- With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- >Oh, and then they were all in place, a generation lost to Anon's face,
- with no desire to be just his friend.
- So come on Shy be nimble, Shy be quick - Cause Shy tried to sit on his meat stick cause'
- She was sure it was his fetish!
- And as he ran up on the stage, Twilight's horn tried to quench his boner's rage.
- No magic devised in hell, could bring him under her spell!
- And he ran into the night, the mares all tried to complete the rite
- He saw Luna laughing with delight, the day he came to town.
- She was singing
- 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
- 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
- With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- >For a while he sang the blues, begging the mirror for some better news...
- But his reflection just sighed, and walked away...
- So he went to the music store, were the sales-mare would implore,
- 'Anonymous would you be, my special somep0ny.'
- In the streets: he released a scream, the stallions gasp and the mares finally got their dream,
- But not a word was spoken, his rational thoughts were all broken.
- So he asked the p0ny he admired most, for some time alone together on the coast,
- and Applejack was most verbose, the day he came to town.
- And she was singing,
- 'Mah Mah, this Anonymous guy'
- 'Now he's mah special somep0ny, and I've been waitin' a time'
- With all the jealous mares watching from the side lines, saying
- 'One day, Anon will be mine'
- 'One day, Anon will be mine'
- >And they were singing,
- 'My my, this Anonymous guy'
- 'Could be my special somep0ny, but he's just trying to get by...'
- With sweet young mares sitting on the side, singing
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
- 'Someday, Anon will be mine'
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