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BizzarreCoyote

Meet the Family (Prose Edit)

Nov 1st, 2013
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  1.  
  2. Tonight was the night.
  3.  
  4. You were going to meet Twilight's family: Her father, mother, brother, and half-sister. All of you had been invited to dinner by Twilight's parents, they wanted to see their kids...and meet you personally.
  5.  
  6. Her brother was Captain of the Canterlot Guard and husband to an Alicorn himself. Twilight herself was probably the most powerful magician since Starswirl himself, if independent research were to be believed.
  7.  
  8. So...that must mean that one toe out of line, and her dad would crush your head like a grape or something.
  9.  
  10. You shuddered, and Twilight giggled behind you. You were already packed, you didn't need much. Not like you were staying all week, just for the night.
  11.  
  12. Twilight, meanwhile, was trying to bring roughly half the library with her.
  13.  
  14. She huffed when her saddlebag again exploded, spilling its contents all over the floor.
  15.  
  16. "Fine, fine, I'll take two or three..."
  17.  
  18. She looked over at you, just as you were mid panic-attack.
  19.  
  20. "Calm down, we're just having dinner and staying for the night."
  21.  
  22. "Easy to say when your head isn't grape-like."
  23.  
  24. The mare blinked.
  25.  
  26. "...what?"
  27.  
  28. "Uh, nothing."
  29.  
  30. "Anon, breathe. With me, okay? In..."
  31.  
  32. You took a deep breath.
  33.  
  34. "Out."
  35. You exhaled, and still felt just as nervous as you had before. She nuzzled your stomach and wrapped a wing around you. You had noticed that, lately, she had been getting taller. It wasn't fast or noticeable from day to day, but she definitely was.
  36.  
  37. Just last month she only reached to your waist. You hoped she didn't get taller than you were, but if Celestia and Luna were any indication, Twilight wouldn't reach that kind of extreme. After all, even Celestia only reached up to your shoulders, and she was the tallest pony, period.
  38.  
  39. "Ready?"
  40.  
  41. "Been ready for half an hour."
  42.  
  43. "Good, help with my bags?"
  44.  
  45. You turned, and somehow she had managed to pack what seemed like half the library into a suitcase.
  46.  
  47. >"I love miniaturization spells!"
  48.  
  49. Naturally, it was heavy.
  50.  
  51. "Ach, Twilight!" You groaned.
  52.  
  53. "If you wanna make a good first impression, you have to carry a lady's bags, right?" She asked with an impish grin.
  54.  
  55. You shot the alicorn a heated glare, which she just laughed off. At least it made you forget about your nerves.
  56. ==
  57. The train ride was completely uneventful, aside from a pegasus trying to hit on Twilight. Just because of her new title, ponies thought she was fair game.
  58.  
  59. She was not, and you made sure to let him know that when you locked lips with the alicorn. The blue pegasus sat back down, grumbling.
  60.  
  61. The ponies that just wanted to meet her, however, were fine. She blushed and signed a few autographs, before the train ground to a halt at the station. You picked up the bag, which again seemed like it was a literal ton, and followed the mare.
  62.  
  63. "Not too much further now."
  64.  
  65. "Good, feels like my arm is going to fall off."
  66.  
  67. "It's not that heavy, is it?"
  68.  
  69. "Twilight, I could bludgeon someone with this."
  70.  
  71. "Oh, whoops."
  72.  
  73. Yeah, 'whoops'.
  74.  
  75. "Seriously, what's in here?"
  76.  
  77. "Several copies of Daring Do, gonna get Mom to sign them. She's one of the authors, after all."
  78.  
  79. "Oh, great."
  80.  
  81. Captain of the Guard, Most Powerful (ex)Unicorn, and one of the authors of the most popular book series in the region. Meanwhile, you had 'exotic' as your most notable trait.
  82.  
  83. You were screwed.
  84.  
  85. Going by this family, her father was probably ex-special forces or something like that.
  86.  
  87. Twilight would occasionally tease you by 'accidentally' flicking her tail too far to the left or right, giving you ample view of her flank.
  88.  
  89. Twilight knew what she was doing to you, while other ponies either didn't notice or didn't care. Nudity to them, after all, was a common thing.
  90.  
  91. "This is the place!"
  92.  
  93. You walked up to a town home that...seemed absolutely identical to the others near it. The only difference were the flags out front, which you assumed were her parents cutie marks. Wasn't Twilight's, that much you were certain of. She knocked on the door.
  94.  
  95. "Just a moooomeeeent~!" A singsongy voice called from behind the door. The door was pulled open gently by a soft blue glow, and a white unicorn stood at the door. Two-tone white/purple hair, and bright blue eyes. Cutie mark of three purple stars.
  96.  
  97. You saw literally zero traits (other than being a unicorn) from her mother that Twilight inherited. Then again, two earth ponies had given birth to a unicorn and pegasus.
  98.  
  99. Your knowledge of genetics was null and void here, apparently.
  100.  
  101. "Ooooooh! My little Twily's home!"
  102.  
  103. She wrapped her daughter in a tight hug, which Twilight returned warmly.
  104.  
  105. "Mom, this is Anonymous. Anon, this is my mother, Twilight Velvet."
  106.  
  107. Well, fuck. Couldn't call Twilight "Twilight" now, might cause some confusion...
  108.  
  109. Nicknames for your mare would be fine.
  110.  
  111. "How very good to mee-" Velvet paused when she looked at you towering over her, her mouth hanging slightly open.
  112.  
  113. "Mom, you're staring..." Twilight muttered, tapping the stunned mare with a hoof.
  114.  
  115. "A pleasure, ma'am."
  116.  
  117. You stooped down and kissed her hoof, with Twilight giving you an approving smile. This seemed to snap Velvet out of her silent confusion.
  118.  
  119. "Oh my, such a gentlecolt! I apologize for my rudeness, please, come in!"
  120.  
  121. The home was actually rather large on the inside, with a staircase leading to the second floor on the right of the door. The living room had a large bookcase covering the far left wall, with a lit fireplace on the far right. Hearth's Warming was coming soon, after all, and there was a chill in the air.
  122.  
  123. You'd have to ask Rarity for some heavier clothing later.
  124.  
  125. Snapping yourself out of your mental lapse, you walked in. Twilight levitated her bag off of you, balking at the sudden weight.
  126.  
  127. "Told you." You said with a smug grin.
  128.  
  129. The lavender mare shot you a glance, before opening the bag.
  130.  
  131. "Hey mom, I told one of my friends you'd autograph some copies of Daring Do. Do you mind...?"
  132.  
  133. "Not at all sweetie! It'll have to wait until after dinner though, it's nearly finished."
  134.  
  135. "Are Shining and Cadance here already!?" Twilight nearly shouted, wings flaring in excitement.
  136.  
  137. They hit a vase off of a nearby coffee table, and you grabbed it before it hit the floor. Couldn't save the flowers that were in it, but saved the important part.
  138.  
  139. "Oh, thank you dearie. That would have been a pain to put back together." The older mare said with gratitude, levitating the flowers back into the vase with the same light-blue aura.
  140.  
  141. "It's no problem, ma'am. Comes with the territory of being around a clumsy alicorn." You chuckled, and the purple alicorn sent you a glare that could melt stone. You shrugged it off, having been on the end of far worse.
  142. >Stepping into the kitchen were three ponies.
  143.  
  144. Twilight galloped past you like an excited filly, going to the opposite end of the table. The purple mare wedged herself between two ponies.
  145.  
  146. A pink Alicorn whom you could only assume was Cadance. She also had a tri-colored mane, this time pink, yellow, and purple.
  147.  
  148. Her cutie mark was obscured by the table, and you weren't going to make an obvious effort to look. The mare's mane was in a neat little bun, keeping it out of her eyes and off the table.
  149.  
  150. A blindingly white stallion with a blue/light blue mane sat next to her. Similarly, you couldn't see his cutie mark, and weren't making too much of an effort to see it. His gaze locked to you the instant you walked into the kitchen, eying you up and down.
  151.  
  152. "That's nice, Twily..." He said, no longer paying any sort of attention to the two mares. You gave him a smile, which seemed to be a mistake when he frowned at you. That only left...
  153.  
  154. A dark blue stallion sat at the head of a table, talking cheerfully with Cadance...whenever he could get a word in over Twilight. He appeared to have a...comb over? Was baldness a thing here?
  155.  
  156. His cutie mark, visible from where you were, was made of two crescent moons, waxing and waning. One was larger than the other, with the smaller one inside the empty space of the first. He lifted a pot of tea over to the table, when Shining cleared his throat for attention.
  157.  
  158. "Dad, we have...another guest."
  159.  
  160. "I know, Shining. Unlike you, Twilight actually let us know beforehoof." He replied, cheekily grinning. He stood and walked over, taking stock of you. You weren't sure what to do, so you simply stood there.
  161.  
  162. "The name's Night Light." He said after a moment, walking to your front and holding out his hoof. You took it and shook it.
  163.  
  164. "Anonymous, Anon for short."
  165.  
  166. "Wonderful!"
  167.  
  168. After a moment, he went back to the head of the table, then returned to his conversation.
  169.  
  170. "So, this Crystal Empire..."
  171.  
  172. "Oh yes, lovely place." Cadance replied, lowering her cup of tea. "You two should visit some time, I'd be glad to have my family over!"
  173.  
  174. "I think we shall, once Velvet here finishes her new book!" He laughed heartily, and the mare in question blushed.
  175.  
  176. This was the guy you thought was ex-special forces?
  177.  
  178. Twilight went to the empty side of the table and took a seat. You joined your mare, and she wrapped a wing around your shoulder. You responded in kind by wrapping an arm around her.
  179.  
  180. Twilight giggled.
  181.  
  182. "Shining, Cadance, this is Anon."
  183.  
  184. "Hi there, nice to meet you two. She speaks very highly of you both." You greeted.
  185.  
  186. You defaulted to 'formal' when in uncomfortable situations, which had gotten a sideways look or two.
  187.  
  188. "Good to meet you, Anon!" Cadance replied with a smile.
  189.  
  190. The pink mare 'stealthily' bumped Shining after a moment, who was still giving you a cautious look.
  191.  
  192. "Oh, uh, yeah. Nice to, uh, meet you too."
  193.  
  194. A pleasure!" You replied with what you hoped was a disarming smile. Your teeth showed, and Shining noticed the canines.
  195.  
  196. No, most decidedly NOT disarming.
  197.  
  198. "Dinner's ready~!" The white mare sung, levitating the hot tray over to the table.
  199.  
  200. You knew where Twilight got her singing voice, at the very least. You looked into the tray.
  201.  
  202. Vegetarian...enchiladas? It was as if they were just begging for a mess. Her parents seemed to be treating this as just another family dinner. Good, that meant they were...at least faking being comfortable around you.
  203.  
  204. Twilight hummed in approval, apparently knowing what you all were in for.
  205.  
  206. "This was the last meal I had before leaving for Celestia's school." She mentioned off-handedly, before levitating two to her plate. "Very spicy, but oh so good!"
  207.  
  208. This aught to be a treat then. Spicy you could do. Silverware was near your plate, as if her parents were making special accommodations just for you. Twilight leaned in to you for a moment.
  209.  
  210. "Are you okay?" She whispered.
  211.  
  212. "As well as I can be. Nerves are still slightly shot." You quietly replied.
  213.  
  214. "Don't be nervous, my parents liked you even before they met you. I've already told them you were a different species, as well as everything you've done for me."
  215.  
  216. She winked at you as she pulled away, going back to her meal. You lifted two of the bean-filled tortillas away as well, idle chatter going across the dining room.
  217.  
  218. "So, Anonymous..." Shining started.
  219.  
  220. You looked up, food still in your mouth.
  221.  
  222. "What is it that you do, exactly?"
  223.  
  224. You held up a hand, and Twilight translated when Shining was visibly confused.
  225.  
  226. "It means 'hold on'. Don't worry, none of us at Ponyville got it at first either."
  227.  
  228. You swallowed, before replying.
  229.  
  230. "I work at Sweet Apple Acres usually."
  231.  
  232. "Usually?"
  233.  
  234. "Sometimes that work dries up, so I go on supply runs in the Everfree Forest for Ponyville. That's a rather lucrative business."
  235.  
  236. "Mmhm..." Shining replied quietly, seemingly puzzling something out in his head.
  237.  
  238. "Dear, you haven't touched your food. Is something wrong?" Velvet said after a moment.
  239.  
  240. "No mom, nothing." The stallion slowly replied. "Other than the fact my sister's dating a *carnivore*, no."
  241.  
  242. If he was expecting a worried or violent reaction from his parents, he didn't get it. They were either hiding it well, or truly didn't care much. Cadance quirked an eyebrow curiously at Twilight, who in turn rolled her eyes.
  243.  
  244. "We know, Shining." Night said with a visible shrug. "As long as he takes care of my daughter, he's fine by me."
  245.  
  246. "Which he has, dad. Trust me." Twilight cut in with both visible and audible praise. "He's done more for me in a year than most have done in five."
  247.  
  248. "Then that's all I need." He replied in turn, returning to his dinner with a small smile.
  249.  
  250. "So, when are you two getting married?" Velvet asked sweetly.
  251.  
  252. Both you and Twilight choked.
  253. ===
  254.  
  255. Dinner finished without another incident, and you helped wash dishes. Shining, not to be outdone, dried them. You were pretty sure it was to keep a close eye on you.
  256.  
  257. The two of you were alone in the kitchen, and your nerves were at their peak. Night Light and the three mares were in the living room.
  258.  
  259. If her father wasn't going to do anything, fine. Twilight's brother, though...
  260.  
  261. "So, what are you, anyway? I thought carnivores couldn't eat vegetarian dishes." Armor asked after a moment of silence.
  262.  
  263. "I'm a human." You replied. "Omnivore, I can eat most anything that isn't outright toxic."
  264.  
  265. It was like your first week in Ponyville all over.
  266.  
  267. "Why am I only just now hearing about you?"
  268.  
  269. "I couldn't tell you, ask Twilight."
  270.  
  271. "No, I mean 'you' as a species."
  272.  
  273. "Ah, that. Well, freak accident sent me here. I'm not native to Equestria at all, only one of my kind here as far as I know."
  274.  
  275. The stallion balked at that, before slowly backing out of the room. That was a bother.
  276.  
  277. Who was gonna dry the dishes now?
  278.  
  279. You guessed you were, great. Another few minutes passed, and you finished up the dishes. You joined the family in the living room, sitting on the couch. Twilight nestled herself against you, book in her magical grasp.
  280.  
  281. You wrapped an arm over her, reading over her shoulder. Even at a family gathering, she was a bookworm. It was lucky you could keep pace. To be fair, it seemed like the conversation was dying down anyway, the ponies simply enjoying the company of their significant other.
  282.  
  283. Velvet was snuggling against her husband, and he kissed her lightly on the neck. Cadance, however, seemed to be missing Shining Armor.
  284.  
  285. It was then that said stallion came back downstairs, with a bucket of what appeared to be soapy water. The stallion overturned the bucket and dumped it on you.
  286.  
  287. "Wh-what the fuck, dude!?" You shouted in shock, jumping up as both you and Twilight were drenched.
  288.  
  289. "My Oubliettes and Ogres guidebook has a page on humans! They're carnivorous demons from another dimension, and easily banished with warm, soapy ocean water!"
  290.  
  291. The silence was thick enough to cut with a knife, as both you and Twilight stood there dripping.
  292.  
  293. "Look at Twilight's neck, she has bruises!" Armor continued. "OBVIOUS fang marks!"
  294.  
  295. Twilight's cheeks turned a bright pink, and she avoided eye contact with everyone in the room. Twilight's parents appeared to be holding back laughter.
  296.  
  297. "I didn't have ocean water on hand, so I figured adding table salt would work..." The stallion continued dejectedly, noticing you were still very much not 'banished'.
  298.  
  299. Cadance audibly face-hooved, before standing.
  300.  
  301. "Shining, what are you DOING?" She moaned, walking up to drag him off. "You KNOW that book was revised, right? They're helpful sprites as of edition two point five."
  302.  
  303. You lost it.
  304.  
  305. Any anger you held at that moment was just flat out gone, replaced with incredulous laughter. NOW you knew where the occasional pen and paper role play at the library came from.
  306. ===
  307. Night had finally fallen, and the two elder ponies excused themselves to bed. Shining Armor and Cadance, too, had gone upstairs, presumably to Shining's room. Twilight had dried both you and her off, and you were both currently sitting by the fire, blanket draped over your shoulders.
  308.  
  309. The mare was in your lap, reading...right before she nodded off. You chuckled, moving to the couch as you had no idea where Twilight's room was. You'd prefer to not accidentally push open Armor's door by accident and catch them doing something intimate.
  310.  
  311. Shining Armor came back down the steps just as you thought this.
  312.  
  313. "Listen, I...need to apologize." He said.
  314.  
  315. "Keep it quiet, Twi's asleep." You whispered, and the stallion nodded.
  316.  
  317. "I'm sorry I thought you were a...demon from a role-playing guide book."
  318.  
  319. At your arched eyebrow, he continued.
  320.  
  321. "It's just, what you told me and what the book says matched up exactly. Even the general description of what a human looks like is the same. I thought my baby sister had been tricked and was in danger."
  322.  
  323. You chuckled.
  324.  
  325. "If you knew what I've gone through for her already, you'd think she's the one endangering me."
  326.  
  327. Twilight yawned in your arms, rolling over to nuzzle your chest sleepily. Armor smiled softly.
  328.  
  329. "Alright, I get the message Twily."
  330.  
  331. He looked back to you.
  332.  
  333. "Take care of her. I find out she's been hurt, it's your flank I'm comin' after." The blue-maned pony said with the hint of a grin.
  334.  
  335. "I always take care of what's mine." You replied with an equal grin. "Also, you need to show me this game at some point. Sounds a lot like a game I had back home."
  336.  
  337. His grin only got wider.
  338.  
  339. "What class?"
  340.  
  341. "Paladin."
  342.  
  343. "...I think you and I will get along just fine."
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