Devil May CRape (FR One-Shot)

>Day 2cool4skool in Equestria
>Wake up and kick the pizza box from your bed
>You run your hand through your white hair
>Today’s gonna be sick
>Time for the morning routine
>Dump, Crap, Brush, Analyze, Shit!, SShower!!, SSShave!!!
>Grab the Rebellion and head downstairs
>Your house is an absolute wreck!
>Someone must have broken in and torn up the place!
>It smells like musk
Heh. Whatever.
>You say smugly
>You’re too cool to bother with such things
>You grab a loaf of bread and place it on the table
>Launching it into the air with the Rebellion, you slash the hell out of it, sustained in the air, for ten seconds
>A beautiful toast breakfast falls to the table
>Right before you dig in, there’s a knock on the door
>You turn your head to it, about to get up to answer
>Instead, a yellow blur bursts through the door, pinballing off everything in your house, wrecking it even more!
>Yellowquiet herself crashes down onto the table, obliterating your toast breakfast
Heh. Bread was moldy anyway.
>You stab the Rebellion into the ground
What’s going on, Shy Girl?
>”Oh, um, h-hi Anon.”
>She stands up from the rubble that used to be your table
>”I was just wondering if… if household vandalism was your fetish?”
Heh. Sorry baby, wrong-o again.
>You observe the damage she did
Sweet moves, though. Rock on.
>”Oh, um, yeah. S-Sorry about that, I was just trying to--”
Not a problem.
>”…Don’t you even care? You’re entire house is destroyed…”
>You run your hands through your hair and flip it
>DAMN you’re cool!
>You stand up and face away from her
Heh. There ain’t enough time in the world to be worrying about stuff like this when you’re…
>You spin back around, grabbing Ebony and Ivory to pose
THIS cool!
>Fluttershy’s eyes roll back into her head
>She falls down and passes out, spraying the ground with her juices
…Rock on.
>Now what were you going to do again today?
>Oh yeah, you were totally going to party with the pink one
>Better get rolling!
[spoiler]Anon was later found dead in P0nyville square, having been attacked by Lyra and Bon Bon, of whom he couldn’t best in battle because the default difficulty of his life was set to Flay-His-Skin-And-Hang-It-On-My-Wall Hardcore Hard[/spoiler]