Adventures of Clem Kneeroot Chapter 1: the remote

(Based off of my steam name, KLMNEERUT YAH!)
Adventures of Clem Kneeroot
Chapter 1: The remote

>"YES! IT'S ALMOST FINISHED!"
>That's me, Clem Kneeroot, boy genius. This was going to be a momentous occasion.
I HAD INVENTED THE FIRST UNIVERSAL REMOTE.
Just think about the possibilities! I could do ANYTHING with this!
>"Alright, this looks good, that seems okay, alright, let's start this thing up!" I said with glee. I pointed it at the wall, AND...
>*boop*
>Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I looked all around the remote. EVERYTHING WAS FINE! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY...
>"Oh, no batteries." I said with a face full of palm.
>I placed in the batteries. These were another invention of mine. The NEVER DRAIN BATTERIES! *3 second theme music plays*
>"Let's try this again."
>I pointed at the wall, and pressed the button. 'Pew' it went as the beam came out, and suddenly on the wall, sat a portal to the entirety of the universe. From this, I could use it for going to other worlds, spawning characters from shows or games, heck, even getting free pizza! My happiness could not be expressed in words, but let's just say my mouth looked like this. ':D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D'
>"Success," I managed to get out in barely a whisper. I stared at the portal with amazement. But suddenly, from the hall.
>"CLLEEEMMMMM!!!"
*boop*
>The portal vanished.
>"Yes, mom!?"
>"How is your homework going!?"
>'Oh no, my homework! I forgot!'
>Hmmmmmmmm...
>*pew*
>"It's done!" I said as I quickly hid the remote.
>Mom walks in with a look of confusion on her face. 'He never finishes this fast' she thought as she walked in.
>"H-how did you finish so quickly?"
>"I just really loved math this time!" I said with a smug look on my face.
>"Let me see," She said as she picked up the homework, "I...you.."
>"Him her them?" I said playfully.
>"Okay, I guess you're free now," She walked off with a confused face. 'How could he possibly finish so quickly?'
>Then, as soon as my door closed, I got back to business.
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*1 hour later*
>I've been playing with the remote, doing this and that, but nothing special. Just trying to get used to how it works. Weird, I built it but I don't know how most of it works. I've decided that now is a good time to try something big. To bring a character from something into my room.
*pew*
The portal opened up, and I searched the internet for something to get. I finally found something, and got it on the remote.
>"Alright, the moment of truth. HERE WE GO!"
>*boop*
>Out came something I did not expect. A pony. From My Little Pony. HOW THE HECK!?
>Derpy: "Hello?"
>"WRONG CHARACTER!"
>Derpy: "What are you... AHHHHH!!!"
>She got sucked back in. 'Glad that's over.' I thought. Now to bring in the real character.
>*boop*
>And out he came.
>"Hello!"
>Ellis: "Uh, hey der?"
>"It's nice to finally meet you in person, Ellis."
>Ellis: "Um, how do you know mah name?"
>"Anybody who's played left 4 dead 2 knows about you."
>Ellis: "Left 4 Dead 2?"
>"Let me explain..."
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*2 hours later*
>This took longer to explain than I thought. He just can't get a single thing wrapped around his head.
>"Look, Ellis, I'm going to say this. ONE. MORE. TIME."
>Ellis: "Okay, Ah'm listenin'"
>Yeah, like you've been listening for the past 2 hours.
>"This, out here," I pointed out the window to the world, "Is Earth. I brought you here from that," I pointed to the Pc, "and you are under my control, because I have this." I finally pointed to the remote.
>Ellis: "Oh, so that thingamabob can do anything? Hey that reminds me, did I ever tell you about the time..."
>*boop*
>I made him shut his mouth. Literally. His voice was just muffles.
>"No stories. I know how much it annoys me whenever I play L4D2. Understand?"
>A muffled "mmhmm." came through his shut mouth.
>"Okay."
>*beep*
>Ellis: "Okay, so no stories. How about a song?"
>"No."
>"Re-enactment?"
>"Double no."
>"Come on dude! At least one!"
>*grr* "Fine. Just one."
>Ellis: "Hooray! So, this one time, me and my buddy Keith..."
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*30 minutes later*
>This has been the longest 30 minutes of my life. Just one story could take so long. How did this Keith guy even survive?
>Ellis: "And that's the story about the time Keith tried to do a handstand on the Screamin' Oak.
>"The Screamin' Oak? You never mentioned that."
>Ellis: "Oh, Ah didn't? Well den, jus' let me start over."
>"NO! NOT THAT STORY AGAIN!"
>Ellis: "Well, okay. You dun' have to yell like dat."
>*sigh* I needed another famous character out here.
>*boop*
>Derpy: "HI!"
>"Not you."
>*boop*
>Derpy: "Wha-AHHH!!!"
>*boop*
>*plop*
>Nova: "Where in the world am I?"
>"In my house. I'm Clem Kneeroot. Nice to meet you Uberhaxornova."
>Nova: "What am I doing here?"
>"I brought you here. Wanna play a board game?"
>Nova: "Yeah, sure, why not?"
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*5 minutes later*
>Nova: "YOU BROKE THE RULES. YOU BROKE THE DANG RULES!"
>Ellis: "What? I just accidentally moved my piece too far. see? I fixed it."
>Nova: "STILL, YOU BROKE THE RULES!"
>He jumped back through the portal and vanished with a flash. I sat there watching with a ?:| face on.
>"Wow, he's more a rager in real life than on youtube."
>Ellis: "Yeah, I know, right?"
>"Let's get someone else, shall we?"
>"CLEM!!!"
>"Ellis, HIDE!"
>Ellis: "What's goin' o- WHA?" He went as I stuffed him in the closet.
>"Yes, mom!?
>Mom: "What's all that noise in there?"
>"I'm watching youtube! Don't worry!"
>Mom: "Okay, just don't watch that inappropriate stuff! Besides, you need to go to bed!"
>"Okay! Good Night!"
>Mom: "Good night my little genius!"
>That sounds too much like a show I want to forget. I heard her footsteps fade away, and opened up the closet.
>"Okay Ellis I think it's safe now."
>Ellis: "Warn me next time, okay!?"
>"Yeah, sure, but now we need to sleep, okay?"
>Ellis: "Yeah, sleep sounds good."
>"Okay, you sleep on the floor."
>Ellis: "Wha? Why do ah have to sleep on da floor?"
>"Cause this is MY room and this is MY bed."
>Ellis: *sigh* Alright.
>In the middle of the night, I used the remote to store him in it for safe keeping. I'm glad I added this feature, or mom would flip out tommorow morning. I eventually laughed myself to sleep at the thought.
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*End of chapter 1*