Trip log 1

Trip log 1
heavenly blue morning glory seeds
250 seeds taken orally and chewed to a pulp
7 PM 8/15/2014

6:58 PM - feeling very apprehensive, haven't done anything other than count out seeds and get a glass of orange juice to wash down the horrible taste that will accompany them
7:02 PM - I have eaten the seeds and wash them down with orange juice, they're not so bad if you imagine your eating uncooked rice, but they leave a bitter aftertast, no effect yet
8:02 PM - it's been an hour and I haven't felt much of anything other than what is probably my own apprehension, I found out that it takes roughly an hour to take effect on empty stomach, but I just ate dinner
8:23 PM - definitely feeling a bit of nausea, but not too bad
8:26 PM - my pupils are really dilated, not sure how long they've been like that, the contrast between light and dark in the room seems really exaggerated probably because of that
8:34 PM - definitely beginning to feel it, not too much though, just a bit of euphoria, like swinging really high on a swing
8:41 PM - my ability to focus on and speak to Dormilia is fading as I expected it might, similar to how it doesn't dreams, I occasionally feel her presence and I know she's trying to speak but all I get instead of words is small waves of euphoria
8:48 PM - I feel the need to rub my left hand up and down my pant leg feeling the friction and texture against my fingertips and the palm of my hand, I can feel the feeling running up most of my forearm
9:00 PM - had some ice cream, the feeling has intensified, the heel of my feet feel slightly numb as if the callous on them was thicker
9:12 PM - has only been 12 minutes, feels more intense, I keep closing my eyes and daydreaming, it is a bit harder to focus now
9:17 PM - I keep rubbing my hands over my face and arms
9:22 PM - tactile sensory input seems rather strong
9:41 PM - definitely feeling a much stronger, my left arm is feeling stronger than my right which is interesting because I'm right handed
9:50 PM – feeling it quite strongly now, thought I smelt laughing gas or sweets scented play-dough just now as I type this, also listening to some music now
10:06 PM – I wrap myself up in my old bat wings from my costume, although I think it's probably better to eliminate external stimuli, it feels better to be disconnected from the world, although music is fine, it helps block out the sounds of the neighbors and the dryer
10:15 PM - whenever Dormilia exerts her presence it is manifested as a cloud of euphoria, I can feel her their, as if she has dissolved into a cloud of euphoria
10:24 PM - when I try to reach out and touch her in my mind the feeling is even stronger around her, it is easier to do so with my left arm, I can almost feel a cool euphoric smoke being blown in my face by her
10:37 PM - all I can focus on is her belly, flat and curvy on the sides… The rest of her is shrouded in euphoric smoke
10:48 PM - I can hear her voice again (not literally, just like normal, no auditory hallucinations) but she's not sure what to say
10:53 PM - the imagery I get in my head: I am floating some distance from her belly, either she is giant or I am the size of a grain of rice above me and blow me the rest of her body is concealed by the pink fog due to how far away her body stretches in either direction the silhouette of her body is still lit up from a magenta light coming through the fog. Her eyes are glowing like lighthouses to the fog
11:25 PM - coming down off of it now
11:34 PM - still feeling quite lightheaded and such a my state of consciousness is returning to normal, I can freely speak with Dormilia again
11:58 PM - I don't think I'm coming down off of it as quickly as I thought, I feel as if I'm rising back up up it instead of coming off of it now, spending my time in a mental landscape rather than a physical one doing physical things is definitely preferred
12 AM - observation: the way I typically measure time and determine how long ago something was is by checking how fresh or faded the memories of those events is
12:14 AM – observation: feelings of loneliness lead to feelings of existential loneliness lead to feelings of nonexistence
12:31 AM -  I smell bacon
12:38 AM - there is a lot of phlegm draining from my nose down my throat
12:53 AM - this is fun, I wonder how much longer this will last, there will eventually, point where the placebo effect takes effect
1:05 AM - I don't want to be alone right now, I'm sitting in front of my computer screen in the dark surrounded by the light of my computer, I feel like a tiny speck in a huge black ocean, I don't want to be alone right now
1:16 AM - our thoughts keep leading on long elaborate at that make us forget what we were taking about will you
1:27 AM - the metaphors running in my head keep getting way too long, I begin thinking about the metaphor in such detail that I go off thinking about the metaphorical material and forget what it was supposed to be a metaphor for
1:35 AM - I grow tired of recording miniscule occurrences, I think I'm done recording this for the night