Screw the Raitings, the Class Goes On!

Enemies: >The Raitings

>A group of aliens that exist to destroy irrelevant indivuals in order to improve efficiency. They have deemed the Class crew unnecessary to the timeline

Heroes: Class crew.

We need a

Ram

Miss Quill

Charlie

April-Corakinus voice (can use man's voice, as it'll be Corakinus's voice)

April-female voice (for a few lines)



Tanya

A voice for the Raitings

A voice for an alien victim
Start of script

Setting: An alien planet

Alien victim: Do not attack me! I have done nothing wrong. I'm just a normal person.

The Raiting 1:And that is the problem. You have done nothing important. Your existence amounts to a pindrop in the scale of life. The cricket that chirps in the garden does more to affect the galaxy than you ever will.

Alien victim: But I've helped lots of people. I volunteer at the local homeless shelter. I even got an award for upstanding civilian.

Raiting 1: That may be so, but according to our computers, anything you did would have been accomplished by someone else, and probably better, had you not been there. The universe does not require you. To be frank, you are a boring, mediocre inefficiency on the timeline. And the Raitings do not like to be boring people.

Alien victim: So, what now?

Raiting 1: Now, your existence must be cancelled.

(Running) Alien victim: Is there any chance your computer is wrong?

Raiting 1: No. (Fires pulsing laser) (death scream)

(After a pause)

Raiting 1: Now, onto the next mission location. Coal Hill University , I believe it's called...

Roll opening creWE GO ON AND ON

Setting: Coal Hill University.

Charlie (with no hint of irony): This is hard. We lost a good man today. What can I say about Ram? He was a total drunk he did nothing in life he was a waste of life that's what his mother always said she abused him but he said that what made him what he is a crack head living on the side of the street he banged prostitution on the street almost every night no one knows how he afforded it. he had a child named Kevin he accidentally drowned at a pool when Ram wasn't paying attention he was only 6 Ram left his April and died a consomme man until he was hit by a bus then good bye Ram. Rest in peace dear friend

Tanya: Typical white people.

April: Oh, come on, Tanya. Charlie's just trying to show empathy. Ram was a good friend. He didn't deserve to die like that.

(A beat)

April: What?

Charlie: I'm sorry. It's difficult getting used to your voice.

Tanya: I'me just happy we got you into your original body. Too bad now you're stuck with the Shadow King's voice.

April: I think it's a fine voice. And Ram seemed to really like it.

A growling noise appears. It should sound like it's enveloping the listener

Tanya: Wait, is that a spaceship in the sky?

Sounds of footsteps.

Miss Quill: Yes, I would think that was obvious, seeing as it'stands a giant ship in the sky.

April: Why does it look so...Um, like a wooden sea ship?

Tanya: Perhaps it's an alternate universe Christopher Columbus, who instead of just subjugation the natives, decided to, like most old white men, be as much of a jersey as possible, and start subjugating other universes. Perhaps he's going to try to eliminate us. We need to arm ourselves!

Miss Quill: Tanya, please do shut up.

The sound of more footsteps.A door opens, and we hear someone come out.

Christis Columb: I am La Christique Columb. I am here to eliminate you, upon request from the Raitings Organization.

Miss Quill; Huh.

Setting: The sound of digging. Eventually--

Ram (coughing): Where did everyone go?

The impression is 5hay wherever he's been,it's been a long time since he's seen his friends. He's thirsty, tired, near-death, and pissed.


Sound of walking.

Matteuz; Hello? Who--oh God, you look terrible

Ram: They all abandoned me. You all abandoned me! I just hid underground, figuring you know, my friends will find me! But no one ever came!

Matteuz: Oh. Charlie told me you died a consomme man.

Ram: Well, actu--hey. Why is there a spaceship over the school?

Matteuz: I assumed it was tradition in England.

Ram:I should have stayed in the hole.

(Sounds of screaming)

Raiting 1: Please leave the premises. The Raitings care nothing for your lives, and if you get in our way, we will kill you. It is for the efficiency of the timeline.

Sounds of footsteps

Raiting 2: Are you Ramesh?

Ramesh: Um, yeah? I'm not against you guys, just let me leave and--

Sound of a energy weapon firing

Ram: AAARRGH!

Raiting: Normally I'd eliminate you heregularly and now. But I need you to lure the others. And where do you think you're going?

Matteuz: I've never met any of these kids before. Do you think I go to school here? No.  Come on, I Polish man. Never been inside English thing before. Just admiring school building. Going now.

Ram: ...Uck you, Matt.

Setting: School Hall

Christique: There's nowhere to hide. The Raitings have deemed you unworthy.

Tanya (whispering): Do you think he'll see us?

Charlie (not whispering): Certainly not.

Sound of wood blasting apart

Christique: Ah, there you are.

Tanya: Look, there must be some mistake. We haven't heard anybody. And who are the Raitings?

Christique: The Raitings are entities that desire to see the universe progress. Only beings who are useful, or at least exciting, deserve existence. You and your friends do nothing for the cosmos. Your existence is null. Frankly, you are boring. And the Raitings hate to be bored.

Charlie: But I'm a prince of Rhodia. I've impacted so many people. Actually, they're all dead, so...well, they're alive to me! In my heart!

Tanya: And we defeated a bunch of Shadow monsters.

Christique: You really don't get it, do you? Doesn't matter. I'll slice you to pieces anyway.

More sounds of running.

Tanya: Where's Quill?

Charlie: No idea. She's supposed to protect me.

Tanya: She doesn't have any of those creatures in her head.  Typical white people.

Charlie: Well, I'm not--aargh!

Tanya: You just sliced his chest open!

Christique: Indeed. He was a milquetoast character with no real drives. He will not be missed. What are your drives?

Tanya: Not dying and doing homework and not dying.

Christique: How...cliche.

Tanya: Wait, can you teach me how to Um, not be milquetoast?

Christique (with sadistic glee): Ah, a re-education. We LOVE re-education!

Sound of smoke filling up a room, or something

Christique: Hmm? Why is there smokefilling up the room,

April: It's not smoke. It's shadows. Tanya, come on!

Tanya: Oh I've never been happier to see you in my life.

Running sounds.

Tanya: Charlie died, by the way.

April: Oh. That's a pity.

Random Old Man: Stop, you kids. You don't know the difference between your and you're and you are too busy texting and looking on your I phones and listening to audio fics and now we are gonna eliminate you except for the Quill chick cause she's cool.

April: Who are you?

Random Old Man: I have had many names But you may call me, Mr. Roberts and you are all in big trouble.

Tanya: Yes, our friend just died. So we figured it might be a little dangerous.

Random Old Man: No, you don't understand and this reality is breaking apart and soon the effects will be terminal and--

April: Let's just get out of here!

Setting: A dungeon, but it's an alien dungeon.

Ram: Where am I?

Miss Quill: You've been trapped by the Raitings. Funny, cause I was told by Charlie you died a consomme man.

Ram: Yeah, well, I don't want to talk about it right now. I got trapped underground. Are you gonna help save me?

Miss Quill: Absolutely not. I've made a pretty good deal with the Raitings. They say I'm actually useful to the universe, unlike the rest of you. So as long as I assist in capturing the rest of you, they'll let me survive. But hold on, are you telling me you'very been trapped underground all these months?

Ram: Yes, but how is that important?

Miss Quill: Hahaha

Ram: Stop laughing, alright.

Footsteps walk in.

Raiting: You will be annihilated in due time, Ramesh, unless you help us find your friends.

Ram: Nev--

Miss Quill: He's helping.

Back at school.

Laser noises. Sounds of screaming.

April: They