lecture for lulu

hi lulu the obvsly not manly person and my ludeer ( only i can call you that ok bcs thongcil hAh ). i am here to lecture you about relationships and about how people are meant to be hurt / they're just fucking prudes bcs i'v been in a lot of rp relationships and over ten in real life. shush ok, i'm going solo now for a long long time. i'm in osc for taeng but i want to make friends instead of lovers so.
relationships have to be two sided. it's okay to feel less than the other person bcs honestly, not everyone can feel the same as the other. you just have to still have feelings for them to make the relationship work. and it's not like you have to show it every damn time like i shove my love for chocolate and stal on tl every time i can but you can do it subtly like holding hands, and gazing, and being jealous, and being possessive, and going on dates and so on.
you don't have to be a romancist and you don't have to be a funny ass bitch. you can be you in a relationship and that's also another 'tiang' ( tell me you know this malay word please ) for a relationship. where you can be you and feel comfortable. not too comfortable tho, bcs that just means you see them as a friend.
don't fuck a lot please. i don't want anyone having a limp even tho i'm happy for you. use lube and i don't support condoms. i support cannibalism, roleplaying, cats, dogs, animals, bitings, vampires etc tho. and bondage. and bdsm. and cuffs. hnG ok i'm gonna stop now.
not everything is perfect in a relationship. for instance, i'v hurt so many people in my relationships. it's either i'm a fucking douche to them to the extent they think i hate them ( hey, i show love in a unique way ok ) and slash or i see them as a friend ( i really dont, i take relationships very seriously. ). i'v once left my boyfriend hanging and i went to my other friends who are boys. they're my best pals ok. don't judge. he got extra mad and i screamed at him and said some really horrible stuff and we ended up breaking up.
a love relationship is just like a friendship, honestly. they're really hard to find and even more hard to keep. i had a clique once in another rp ( it closed down, if you havent seen my dare #7 photo on twitter go find it if you're interested ) and we were literally the bomb dot com. everyone was jealous of our friendship ( me and two other shits ) bcs we were all loud, crazy and fun. we all had so many other people to bfriend with but at the end of the day, it was plain obvious who we would go to /first/.
but then shit happened.
i got a new friend and i spent a hella lot of time with her. i didnt stop texting my baes tho, bcs ik they still hold a special place in me. but i was too touchy, i was too feely and i was too insensitive over one of my baes feels. she got mad and all i can say is, i wasnt lying and making up an excuse. i said we were growing apart and awkward and i was running away from the awkwardness. i said that we werent how we used to be. i said so many stuffs. i lied a lot. bcs we were still how we used to be, only different. bcs i would find her and she'll find me. now, i lost her. it's been months. but i'm still looking for her. my other bae's the middle person, and i feel guilty. a lot.
me and my other bae went through a lot of shit together. we're growing apart a bit now bcs we're busy but that gap is nothing to us. she's even ran away from me once but she came back bcs i tried looking for her. i got another chance and i wasnt going to lose it.
the thing is, i suck at relationships and etc bcs i dont know how to express myself. but someone, the real one you're meant to be with, will give you as many chances as long as you prove you're worthy of it. that you're worth their tears and smiles and happiness.
you can mess shit up, but fix it. okay?
p/s: don't start a relationship if you're still hanging onto another and using the current one as a distraction / replacement. that's mean.