Venison Veneers Pilot Episode

Venison Veneers: Pilot Episode

Screenplay: /u/Lolzrfunni
Initial Concept: /u/sahdee

A lovely British fellow, Duke Teapoterrington (THE DUKE), and his wife, Duchess Teapoterrington (THE DUCHESS), are having a walk in the woods of the Teapoterrington estate, as all British do on their leisurely and cultured weekends.

THE DUKE: My, my. How fun it is to be a cultured and handsome British fellow such as myself
THE DUCHESS: Yes, yes. It's lovely, isn't it?
THE DUKE: Speaking of which. My good friend, the Earl of Chester, is arranging a peasant-shooting competition. Would you like to come along?
THE DUCHESS: Oh, yes. It's been a while since I've had a pop with the good old shotgun, what?
The two cultured and sexy fellows head into a Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost and drive off to the Earl of Chester's estate.
THE DUKE: *(upon arrival)* What a lovely day for a good bit of peasant-shooting.
Two Frenchmen, TRIPE and COQ AU VIN, wander aimlessly through the forest
TRIPE: hon hon hon
COQ AU VIN: hon hon hon
THE DUKE: Hear that? The call of the wild Peasant!
THE DUCHESS: I see one!
THE DUCHESS fires both barrels of her shotgun. Being a master of gunnery, as all cultured and sexy British are, she shoots TRIPE and COQ AU VIN down in an instant
THE DUKE: Bravo, bravo.
TRIPE: oh non! les rosbifs ave shot us
COQ AU VIN: servez us reight for non etre intelligent et handsome und non avoir les witty banter like les rosbifs(edited)
COQ AU VIN and TRIPE are carried away to have their heads cut off and mounted on THE DUCHESS' bedroom wall. Fade to black, credits roll.

EPISODE ENDS