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- Zen Garden 1/4 Anonymous 08/07/12(Tue)21:34 No.3743756
- >you own a nice big backyard
- >eight foot tall fence that is stained a dark mahogany color
- >because fuck neighbors
- >along the wall of both sides are rows of trimmed bamboo
- >it's not legal to plant them in your county
- >but fuck the county
- >a nice little Koi pond with a few fish are against the back wall
- >a small circular rock garden is in the center
- >theres a small ground level deck coming from the house with a few chairs and metal fire pit
- >the rest of the yard is a well fertizlized and manicured lawn
- >you often sit on your back poarch with a drink in hand
- >its one of the few calming things in your life
- >but not today
- >no today you come home from work to find fluffy ponies
- >you angrily sip your calming beverage while you survey the scene before you
- >a plank in the back corner of the fence is eskew
- >must have been loose and they pushed their way in
- >about a dozen fluffies are in various stages of destroying your yard
- >the rock garden is filled with 8 fresh foul fluffy turds
- >whole patches of grass have been chewed down to the roots
- >a blue pegasus is relieving himself in your koi pond
- >five fluffies are playing hide and seek by the bamboo
- >a slightly swollen dam is sleeping next to the pond, she must have barely fit through the fence
- >a mother and two foals are vigourously clearing another section of grass
- >two like colored unicorns are fornicating on one of your deck chairs
- >you step on the lawn, your bear foot squishing into what is most certainly fluffy shit
- >"NO! Hooman munsta weave, Dis aw gwassies"
- >a dark purple unicorn speaks up from the group playing hide and seek
- >"HOOMAN WEAVE NOW OW HEWD GIVE YOU OWWIES" he yells
- >you wipe the shit from your foot on a clean section of grass
- >ignoring the puffing of cheecks and angry looks from the herd you walk to the hole in the fence
- >you pry the board back a bit
- "I'm going to go back in the house for a few minutes, please take this time to leave."
- "You've had your fill of grass, just go somewhere else and all is forgiven."
- >the fluffies seem a little confused by your demeanor and tone but they aren't buying it
- >"FWUFFIES HEWE FIWST" declares the smarty with puffed cheeks and a stamp of his hoof
- >this seems to settle it for the other fluffies, none seem motivated to move
- >you go into the house and come back with a few tools
- >the fluffies are still here and make more threats as you walk about
- >you feel a slight poke on your ankle
- >the swarty is 'stabbing' you with his horn "Hooman no wisten. HEWD GIVE HOOMAN BIG OWWIES NOW"
- >all the males come to buck your legs
- "How would you guys like some special food?"
- >the smarty looks at you funny
- "It's really good, I promise"
- >"Gife special nummies and we not hewt hooman" offers the smarty
- >You pull out a large knife and cut off a shoot of bamboo
- >you sharpen the end and point it at the smarty
- "It's a really special grass, go ahead and try some"
- >the smarty looks at you distrustfully but he tentatively tries to take a bite
- >you quickly thrust the shoot through his mouth and skewer him completely
- >the fluffy screams bloddy murder
- >you think you can make out the words bad, food, and hurt but you don't really care
- >a few of the other fluffies cry, scream, and cover their eyes
- >the mother turns her foals away, but they are already crying
- >you pick up your new skewer, the smarties weight causes him to rotate till hes upside down
- >his entire body is being barely supported by his lower jaw and his belly
- >hes bleeding profusely from both ends and crying
- >you walk him over to the fire pit, every slight jossel causing him to wince and cry out more
- >fluffies soil themselves as you walk past
- >the dam is still sleeping soundly somehow unwoken by all the commotion
- >you mount the bamboo over the firepit like a spit
- >some kindling, wood, and a match later you have the beginings of a fire
- >the smarty is close to loosing conciousness, then you add the lighter fluid
- >the fire flares up and completely engulfs the fluffy
- >with strength you didn't suspect he had left he manages to make a truely terrible scream
- >it appears to be his last as the only sounds coming from him afterwards are the hisses of burning flesh
- >something about that scream shakes the mother out of her shock and wakes the dam
- >the dam is currently the closest one to the pit "what smeww no pwetty?" she qurries sleepily
- >the mother is pushing her foals towards the hole in the fence
- >"wun babbehs, wun fwom munsta, pwease wun" she begs them in tears
- >they apear to be too terrified to move but with her encouragement they begin to escape
- >a couple of other ponies follow their lead
- >the blue pegasus is "hiding" with his hooves covering his face
- >an orange earth mare is staring daggers at you with tears in her eyes
- >the dam has finally turned around and found the source of the smell
- >"wah dat, it no smeww pwetty" she says looking at her former leader on the spit
- >the charred mess is barely recognizable as a fluffy anymore
- "That was your smarty friend"
- "If you want to live you should follow them"
- >you point towards the escaping fluffies
- >horror creeps into her tiny mind as she begins to understand
- >she waddles after the others, tears streaming down her face
- >"DON't WEAVE MUMMEH, HEMP SAVE MUMMEH, HEMP SAVE BABBEHS!"
- >her screams cause the hiding pegasus to peek up
- >he runs to her side and tries to help her run faster to the exit
- >they keep fearfully babbling about running from the monster
- >now only the mare remains
- >you walk over to her and she doesn't move
- >"MUNSTA KIWW SMAWTY, SMAWTY SPECIAW FWIEND" she screams as she tries to bite you
- >she was his mate, suprisingly loyal for a fluffy
- >you pick her up "NUUUUUU, no hewt owange. Owange sowwy."
- >well not that loyal
- >you toss her in a high arc over the back of the fence
- >she falls about 30 feet and lands with a soft crunch on the hard dirt out back
- >you here a couple more screams
- >from the sound of it she landed right next to some of the fleeing fluffies
- >you take the burnt husk of the former smarty from the fire
- >using the bamboo you toss him like a javelin in the same direction
- >you pick up the tools you brought out and head to the hole in the fence
- >using your cordless drill and some screws you secure the board to its rightful place
- >you use a litter scoop to clean up as much of the poop as you can
- >you hose down the rest and sigh at the bare patches of grass that you're going to be replanting
- >well it could of been worse, you'll save all the work for the weekend
- >better now to just refresh your drink and wind down with the fire
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