DAS EPILOGUE

Epilogue (probably)

“So... so uh, you’re a succubus?” John was at a loss for words, here one of the Monstergirl bro’s he’d been adventuring with had betrayed him, just like that. Not a single fucking care in the world. John had been over how much he’d hated succubi, over and fucking over again, how they were evil mindbreaking scum, and how they went against his ideals of true love and happieness, which was Ironic considering John was an edgy fucker. During the battle Knife Ears had revealed her true form. Her true... succulent curvaceous, pure sex form, I bet she- “FUCK NO, GET THAT SHIT OUT OF MY HEAD YOU BITCH, MY THOUGHTS ARE MINE ALONE AND I FAP TO WHAT I FUCKING CHOOSE, when I chose shitfuck”. Knife Ears just acted confused.


“Whatever do you mean John?”


“Hold the fuck up, how do you know my name? I told everyone my name was Anon, for you know, self inserting purposes”.


“Succubus magic, It’s an ancient art called ‘Plot progressionata, Character Developmenti’ and It allows me to read the thoughts and fetishes of any man, as long as they pertain to sex”


“Shit, Guess I’m safe under your watchful eyes then, but in that case tell me, what do you REALLY want to do, and what’s up with your Centaur Companion?”


Knife ears began to recite her tale of revenge, she was seeking a paladin that had razed her entire village to the ground, and the only reason she had survived was because her mother had shielded her with her own body. The paladin also released all the men from the charm magic, and they took their sweet sweet sadistic time torturing the now helpless succubi. John’s in-built ‘edgy meter’ was going off the charts, and he felt like he was going to start sweating razor blades. Bael (that was her name, because fucking typing out Knife Ears every time is a pain in the ass) went on to describe the horrors, how wings were torn off, and tongues cut out and other guro shit, but no rape, probably because the human men were too worn out, and those bitch succubi would probably have enjoyed it. Bael was only saved because her mindbroken father took some pity in her and hid her from the other men. And so she was Journeying to find and kill the paladin, and every man from that village who dared rise above his station and slaughter his oppressors


“What goes around, comes around, You had it fucking coming, and if I was in that paladin’s place, you bet your blue ass, blue... succulent sexy round delicious.. Man, I just want to berry my dick so far in your ass the person who could pull it out would be crowned King Arthur”  John kept losing his train of thought, It was really fucking annoying, How could he preach is moralfaggotry if this bitch kept distracting him.



“Fufufufufu, I know you have a large fetish for monster girls John, I can read your every fantasy, and I have to say, you’re a dirty minded human. I don’t know how you can call yourself a paladin of truth, hope, love and justice with the kind of mind you have. But If you want I can indulge you, right here, right now. In front of Avina will be even sweeter as I take your virginity. Fufufufufufu” Neither Harpy or Fish Sticks (Will be abbreviated to “That Mermaid Bitch” from now on) knew what was going on. John... Anon, what was really ser Knight’s name, and did he really have a desire for monster girls? Avina was overjoyed, because this meant that her Knight could accept her for who she was, as long as that pesky succuSlut didn’t try anything. To her amazement, ser John’s armour started to glow. Lightning shimmered over it as the strange blood scrawled mysterious foreign runes started pulsing with energy. John sent out a shockwave of pure RESOLVE! That even Satsuki-sama would be proud of, and cleared his mind of the evil influence.


“I’m here to hold hands and tenderly love my Monstergirl Waifu, but I have to find her first” John Motherfucking Smith was back Baby, this time for good.

TIME SKIP, BECAUSE WE SWORD ART ONLINE NOW.

The months passed, John grew closer to all his MonsterBro girls, He still hadn’t found his monster Waifu, and he hadn’t had nearly as much adventure as he wanted. Over time he had erased the Plot armour, because he was sick of relying on some stupid shit like that, and he realised that people would never look at his merits, because they were just as good as accomplished by magic. He started Lifting and training with his Halberd and Towershield, and got Genuinely good, and Havel himself would be proud of the way he bounced around like a fucking fairy during Comabt. Avina was always acting strange around him though, but she didn’t seem to spill any spaghetti anymore, although she still crept off to schlick while thinking about her knight, although John never found out. They all laughed and joked together and even Bael, who John despised on principle was a solid bro and friend. That Mermaid Bitch had died a while back (John stabbed her because they were running out of food. Surprisingly she tasted like chicken. They’d also picked up the reluctant Cheshire Cat, who never smiled since her beloved Master had been thoroughly #REKT. There was also some tertiary character humans, who were there to enlarge the party size so they could grab more loot on dungeon raids. After Everyone but John had gone to sleep (John stayed up looking stoically at the fire, while still dressed in his FuckHuge armour, with his self insert helmet off) Bael came up behind him. John had grown closer to Bael, and he was worried, very worried.


“Sup SuccuSlut, why are you up? Shouldn’t you be raping the tertiary characters, I only got them to come along as full moon fodder, which they have been exemplary at”


“Is it wrong that I want to spend time with a knight of true love” She gently poked him in the face with one of her gloves, she enjoyed taking the piss out of John’s Idealism. He didn’t mind, because one day he was going to prove her wrong. “I propose an experiment” she continued, and slowly leaned in for a kiss. John reciprocated, because he was starting to develop feelings for her. He may have finally found his waifu, and she was a succubus to boot. How fucking Ironic. Bael removed her lips from his. “How may I serve you my mistress” Was all John said.


“Fufufufu, you were a major pain in the posterior, John H. Smith, but I finally did it. I still can’t believe that it took this long. I was fully blasting you with my charm magic for months, ever since you wiped off your plot armour. Your resolve must have been very strong to resist my temptations for that long. I commend you, but I really am the victor, and humanity has lost. Monsterkind has won. Now come, Let us be off to my Castle” Avina was watching this from a nearby branch, and softly crying to herself, she had lost. She lost her ser Knight, the only human to have ever treated her like an equal, and spoiled her with riches and fancy foods, and she had lost him to a succubus.

As Bael wrapped her wings around the still armoured John, she looked straight into Avina’s eyes, and flashed her a wicked grin. And with that, they were gone. John was magicked away to Bael’s private castle within the daemon realm. They were in her throne room, it was a large circular room with large harem style middle eastern cushions everywhere. There were also scantily clad men everywhere. Bael was proud of her harem, some of the men succumbed to the magic immediately, others fought for a brief time, but no-one except John had withstood for many months. She motioned her new prize, “Go sit over there doggy, over there to the right, next to the fountain that pours chocolate”. John Complied, because Bael was his mistress now. Time passed, and Bael would bring over new men every so often, she fucked them right on her throne, so that John could plainly see. Some she added to the harem, some she sent back to adventuring, if they satisfied her enough. John Smith could remember, he could remember sitting at his computer and wanting an adventure, he wanted to go out into an untamed land and explore, and make friends, and find love. He remembered adventuring with Avina, she had only told him her name in Ernest three weeks ago, he couldn’t believe he just used to call her “Harpy”. He remembered his promise to the group of becoming an adventurer, getting rich and making a name for himself. None of that mattered now, He didn’t care about anything other than his mistress, he couldn’t care less about anything else. As for Bael, the Succubus? She never so much as glanced in John’s direction again.


THE END? Maybe.