The Beat Of Your Heart (ch1)

EARLY RELEASE FOR MY $50+-PLEDGING PATRONS! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Is anyone surprised I'm writing for this series now? I'm only as up-to-date as the anime currently is (ep7 as of the time I'm posting this), and I'm not sure how accurately I can write these girls, but I just tried my best at some absolute fluff so uhh here you go!

Like most of my fics, this was supposed to be a quick little idea, but as I wrote it just expanded and kind of went off the hinges so now it's long and has like 3 other scenes I didn't originally plan but! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yagate Kimi ni Naru.

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														The Beat Of Your Heart

															  Chapter 1.

Yuu had been asked by her teacher to carry some documents to the office, and after dutifully dropping them off, she'd headed straight back to class.

It isn't her fault she just so happened to pass by the gymnasium, or that it just so happened that Touko's class was playing volleyball there.

But it might have been her fault when she specifically start seeking her upperclassman out and paused in the open doorway just to watch her.

It's a bit strange to see her in her gym clothes of a t-shirt and shorts, and with her long hair tied back into a tight ponytail. With Sayaka's support, they manage to send the ball back every time, in perfect sync.

Yuu is taken aback by how quick Touko is to react, and how powerful her jumps and strikes are. It still surprises her a bit that Touko is the studious type as well as the athletic type, though she probably should have expected it given all the demands Yuu knows she puts on herself.

She lingers for a moment, just to watch her, just to observe another hardworking side of Touko that she displays to others. Yuu's trying to figure out if it's all just another act or if she truly enjoys volleyball when the match whistle blows.

"Crap-"

But it's too late to run and hide. Sayaka has already tapped Touko's shoulder and exposed Yuu. Touko whirls around with a bright smile already forming on her lips.

"Koito-san!"

"Erm..."

Touko scurries over to the doorway to meet her, beaming some extrovert energy that makes Yuu flinch. Touko grabs both of her hands in her mirth.

"Koito-san! What are you doing here? Don't you have class?"

"Um, yeah. I was just dropping something off. I'm heading back now." She pulls her hands away, and Touko lets her go.

"Oh, I see. Did you stop by to watch my match?"

"Y-You've got the wrong idea..." But does she? Yuu tapers off, running a hand through her bangs.

Touko tilts her head curiously, like a puppy.

"Well if you've got a few minutes to spare, why don't you watch our final match? It's our class' championships!"

"I mean, I should probably..." But Yuu's refusal dies away on her tongue as she gazes up into Touko's shimmering eyes. Yuu quickly looks down at the floor. "That is... I guess I delivered the papers pretty quickly... I should be able to spare a few minutes..."

"Really? That's great!" Touko claps. "Now I'm even more motivated to do my best!"

"Uh-"

The whistle blows. Touko whirls around and starts jogging back toward the court.

"I'll show you my best effort, Koito-san!"

"Uh... sure..." Yuu can only watch her cross the gym and return to her team. The aura she's emitting now is all but glowing. Yuu heaves a sigh and leans against the wall. "What am I doing...?"

It really won't hurt just to stay for a few minutes, but she can't help feeling she's using it as an excuse. If Touko hadn't asked her, would she have stayed to watch on her own? Yuu shakes her head vigorously.

/That doesn't matter! I'm staying now, and that's that.../

She crosses her arms, slightly annoyed at herself and at the situation in general as she watches Touko's team get into formation. Touko glances over her shoulder, and Yuu catches her eye. She almost feels inclined to run and hide again until she remembers Touko already knows she's there.

So Yuu gives a stiff smile and a thumbs-up.

And she can practically see Touko's energy levels rising, like a tea kettle about to start squealing.

The match begins and Touko is on the ball right from the start. She probably serves and returns it half as many times as the rest of her teammates combined. She runs to return every hit whilst still being aware of her own area, and not imposing on anyone else's space.

Yuu watches, both envious and amazed at her skills.

/She's tall, so she's great for blocking the other team's hits. And she can jump really high./

After a few minutes of observing, Yuu's all but forgotten about the fact that she should probably be heading back to class soon. She's gotten far too invested in watching the game. Though she's really only been watching one person.

As expected, Touko's chemistry with Sayaka is impeccable once again. But toward the end of their match a particularly hard serve of the ball from the opposite team has Sayaka stumbling after she hits it.

Yuu tenses.

/There wasn't enough force to send it back over!/

Without realizing it, she opens her mouth and calls out.

"Nanami-senpai!"

She immediately covers her mouth when she realizes what she's done, as it earns her several puzzled and amused glances from her upperclassmen, including Sayaka.

But Touko doesn't have the time to be surprised or spare her a glance. She jumps high to push the ball the rest of the way over the net to complete Sayaka's return. She hits with such force and speed the other team doesn't have enough time to react before it's bounced to the floor on their side.

Because of her desperate jump, Touko also ends up crashing to the floor - hard enough to make Yuu wince. She gasps, but refrains from calling out this time. Sayaka is already there to help her up anyway. From what Yuu can tell Touko is all smiles in spite of Sayaka's scoldings.

/I guess she's okay then.../

The whistle blows and the match is won in their favor.

"We did it!" Touko exclaims rather breathlessly. "We won the championships, Sayaka!"

"I just wish you'd be more careful. But I'm glad you're all right, and that we won."

Touko is swarmed by her classmates for congratulations, and Yuu feels it's about time to take her leave. But then she hears that cheerful voice calling out for her.

"Koito-san!"

"Eh?"

Touko makes quite the scene of rushing over to Yuu, but what's even more dramatic is how she throws both arms around her exuberantly and hugs her.

"We did it! We won, Koito-san!"

"N-Nanami-senpai!" Yuu desperately tries to fight her off for the sake of not only her own appearance, but Touko's as well.

But it seems the upperclassmen are all willing to forgive such an outburst of emotion on Touko's part due to the nature of the victory. Everyone else is cheering and hugging and high-fiving as well, so there's no issue with the president getting caught up in the moment and celebrating with her first-year assistant.

Once Yuu realizes they aren't being judged, she relaxes just a little and stops struggling. Touko is far too happy about this. Yuu would never forgive herself if she pushed her away now. So she accepts her fate of being crushed for a moment, maintaining a deadpan expression as Touko all but smothers her in affection.

Yuu can tell she's still out of breath from all the sportsplay. She can even feel Touko's pulse pounding hard up against her chest.

It reminds her of the time they were in her room together, when Touko had offered to share her heartbeat. Yuu can still remember how fast and nervous Touko's pulse had felt in the flutter of her wrist.

But this is different now. Tactfully, Yuu turns her head sideways to rest her ear against Touko's collar. Her heart is beating much harder and much more quickly than Yuu would ever have imagined it could. Then again, she herself had never been one for much strenuous physical activity before, so she supposes it wouldn't bother someone like Touko who's used to it.

"Still... it's really fast."

"Hm? Did you say something, Koito-san?"

"Huh? N-No. Rather... Nanami-senpai, could you let me go now?"

"Hm? A-Ah, o-of course!" Touko releases her and takes a step back, instantly flustered and blushing as she hides both hands behind her back. "I'm sorry. I just got carried away..."

Yuu sighs and shrugs.

"It's fine. Everyone else is doing the same thing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just try to control yourself, Nanami-senpai. You're the Student Council President, remember?"

"Of course!" Touko smiles, ever thankful for Yuu's forgiveness. "Ah! Koito-san, your class! You should go!"

Yuu stiffens.

"Crap, you're right-"

"If your teacher gives you a hard time, just tell him I stopped to talk with you! Either way, thank you for staying to cheer me on, Koito-san! I'm sure that's what let me make that winning hit!"

"S-Sure. I'll see you later, then."

With this, Yuu hurries off back down the hallway toward her classroom. Luckily her teacher isn't upset with her for being a bit tardy; not wanting to throw Touko under the bus or use her as an excuse, she explains she'd stopped at the restroom on the way back.

Yuu settles down at her desk to concentrate on the rest of the lecture.

But for some reason she keeps shivering every now and again, even though it isn't cold outside or inside the building.

She already knows it's because she's missing the warmth of Touko's embrace, but she won't let herself admit it.

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When classes end for the day, Yuu heads out to the Student Council's building as per usual.

She's expecting to find Touko typing away at her laptop as always, but to her surprise she finds Sayaka doing that instead. Touko is shelving books and documents. Trying not to let the role-swap puzzle her that much, Yuu greets them.

"Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon."

"Ah, Koito-san! Good afternoon!" Of course Touko gives her a grin. "Thanks again for supporting our match!"

"Sure." Yuu takes her seat and gets to work.

And all throughout their time together that afternoon, she steals a few more glances at Touko than she typically might have. She doesn't even know why, but she feels her president is acting a bit more strangely than usual.

Touko doesn't stop to type at her laptop even once, and she asks the boys to bring her anything she needs from across the room, whereas normally she wouldn't want to burden them and would do it herself. She's a bit slower than usual with shelving the books and documents as well.

Yuu notices right away, and she can tell Sayaka has her suspicions as well.

When Yuu brings them tea halfway into the afternoon, Touko picks up her cup with both hands and sips at it quickly before putting it back down. Yuu finds herself inadvertently sharing a look with Sayaka before swiftly looking elsewhere.

Throughout the rest of the session, Touko acts just oddly enough to warrant concern, but not quite enough for the others to be sure if they're just over-thinking.

When it's finally time to head home, the boys are off quickly. Yuu is debating saying something to Touko when Sayaka naturally beats her to it.

"Say, Touko, are you-"

"Ah, Sayaka!" Touko smiles and walks over to the table, resting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Thanks for typing everything up today. Sorry, I just felt like a change of pace."

"I see. It's no problem." Sayaka seems miffed that Touko had avoided hearing the intended statement. But before she can get back on track, Touko is already moving around the table to Yuu's side.

"Say, Koito-san? Can I walk back with you today? I need to get a few books."

Yuu's just finished checking the contents of her bag to make sure she's got everything she needs before going home.

"Whether you walk back the same way as me or not doesn't make a difference to me."

"There you go being all aloof again." Touko picks up her own bag and slings it over her shoulder. "Thanks again, Sayaka. Good work!"

"Right. Good work today."

Yuu actually feels a little guilty about walking with Touko today when Sayaka had clearly been intent on doing so, at least for a bit. She flashes her upperclassman a brief reassuring glance that vows to find out once and for all what's up with Touko.

Sayaka seems to understand her meaning, because she dips her head, relinquishing the situation to her. Yuu timidly says goodbye to her before scurrying outside with Touko strolling more leisurely behind her.

She has an inkling about what could be bothering Touko, and at least now that she's alone with her she can confirm or deny her suspicions.

She doesn't go straight for the kill though. Yuu eases into things.

"So, are you just coming home with me so you can be at my place again?"

"N-No! I actually need to pick up some books this time!"

"Hmm, really?"

"Really!" Touko's face is bright red. "Geez, Koito-san, you can be harsh sometimes..."

Yuu chuckles, and Touko only pouts harder.

They walk back through town in silence for a bit, enjoying the warm afternoon side by side. It's around the time when they're about to cross the railroad tracks when Yuu makes her move.

"Nanami-senpai?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to hold hands?"

Touko nearly stumbles.

"I-Is that okay? Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Th-Then if you're okay with it..." She squeezes her eyes closed and tenses up, as though bracing herself for something.

Yuu reaches out slowly until she makes contact with her hand.

Touko flinches.

Yuu curls her fingers around her wrist and gives a gentle squeeze.

That does it.

Touko inhales sharply and makes a whimpering sound, but her pride doesn't let any words come out. Even so, it's enough evidence to prove Yuu's theory.

"I knew it," she sighs, letting go of Touko's hand. "Nanami-senpai, you hurt your hand earlier in gym class when you fell, didn't you?"

"Wh- H-How did-"

"You didn't type anything at the Student Council today, and you kept having Maki-kun carry stuff you should've been able to handle yourself. You couldn't even hold your tea with just one hand, and now you can't even hold my hand. Did you really think I wouldn't notice?"

"W-Well, I mean..." Touko glances over but can't look her in the eye when Yuu is glaring like that. Yuu brings a hand to her forehead and sighs.

"Why didn't you go to the nurse?"

Touko lifts her injured hand to her chest and mumbles. "It isn't that bad. I don't even think it's sprained or anything. It's just a bit sore."

"But what if it is sprained?" Yuu stops right in front of her and stares sternly up into her eyes, freezing her in place. But seeing how guilty Touko seems now, Yuu softens her voice a little.

"I understand you don't want to let your weaknesses show, especially in front of Saeki-senpai and the others. But you're with me now. It's just us. Isn't this what I'm here for? You can be as honest and as weak around me as you want, Nanami-senpai. I don't mind."

She finishes with a smile, but it doesn't seem to make Touko feel any better. The older girl pouts at her.

"That's not just 'what you're here for', Koito-san. Don't make it sound like that's the only reason I want to be with you."

"Right, right. You also like me."

"I-It's not just that, either!" By this point Touko is so flustered her entire face has gone red as far as her ears. Yuu chuckles again.

"So long as you understand. You don't have to grin and bear it, Nanami-senpai. If something hurts, you can tell me, be it your hand or your heart."

Touko closes her eyes again and looks away, muttering something under her breath. Yuu steps closer.

"Did you say something?"

Touko whirls around in exasperation.

"I said you're unfair, Koito-san! Saying such kind things to me... when you don't even..."

Yuu feels something unpleasant squirm in her chest. She hadn't meant to hurt her with this. She takes another step closer, until she catches Touko's eye again.

"Sorry... if it seemed like I was leading you on."

"It's all right."

"Is it really? Don't tread on your own feelings so much."

Touko wipes her arm across her face as if hoping it'll clear away the furious blush that's taken over.

"Then... will you make it up to me...?"

Yuu gives her a hopeless smile.

"Fine, fine. You still want to hold hands, right?"

"Yes..."

Yuu moves around to Touko's other side and offers her palm. Touko shyly accepts it with her good hand this time.

They walk across the train tracks and down the sidewalk in silence, but Yuu can tell Touko is quietly basking in glee now that she's holding her hand.

With all of that out of the way, Yuu assumes Touko will simply head home at her own station, but she passes right by it and continues on with her. Yuu gives her a pensive look.

"You're really still gonna come home with me?"

"I actually need books!"

"Uh-huh."

"Koito-san!"

Yuu laughs again at having made her blush for the umpteenth time this afternoon.

She leads Touko back to her family's bookstore and only lets go of her hand at the last possible second. They step inside, and Touko immediately bows and greets Yuu's mother, who is delighted to have her.

Touko browses for a bit, convincing Yuu that she really did need to buy some books. She stands with her mother and waits for Touko to finish so she can wish her farewell. But of course, her mother won't allow it.

"Yuu, you're not just going to send this nice senpai of yours home after she came all the way here, are you? Don't be rude. Take her up to your room and offer her some tea."

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea," she mumbles. "But all right."

Touko makes her purchase and holds her bag of books with her good hand. That and her school bag are on her left side, which looks odd to Yuu who knows she's right-handed.

Touko comes to her to say goodbye for the afternoon.

"Thank you for having me, Koito-san!" she bows. "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Hold on," Yuu sighs. Her mother gives her a jab with her elbow. Yuu groans and tries to sound more polite. "I mean, please wait, Nanami-senpai. If you have a moment, please let me offer you some tea, since you came all the way here."

"Really? A-Ah I mean, y-you don't have to do that..."

"Please. I insist."

In spite of Yuu's deadpan, Touko gratefully accepts.

"Then if you're sure, I'd love to have some!"

Yuu sighs again, but sees no real harm in any of it. She offers Touko another smile.

"All right. Then please come with me."

"R-Right."

Yuu leads the way, and Touko scurries behind her up the stairs.

As soon as Yuu makes it to her bedroom, she sighs again and opens the door, but when she turns back she finds Touko several paces behind. Blushing and fidgeting, she looks as nervous as she had the first time she'd been invited up here. Yuu waits for her to get her bearings and reach the doorway, then ushers her inside.

"Please make yourself at home. I'll get started on the tea."

"Ah, r-right. Thank you..."

Yuu puts down her bag and then exits the room once more, and by that point Touko hasn't even budged.

/I guess she's still nervous about being in her crush's room, even though she's already done this.../

Perhaps it's for the better this time, because Yuu still has something she's curious about - something she wants to learn from her.

She heads to the kitchen and prepares the tea quickly, before Rei can come home and ask her who her visitor is; Yuu knows she'll only tease her about it.

As soon as the tea is done she picks up the tray with both cups and begins heading back upstairs.

"It's ready- Nanami-senpai? You still haven't sat down yet?"

"Hm? A-Ahh, right! I forgot!" She must have been spacing out all that time just standing there looking around Yuu's room. But now she puts her bag down and takes a few steps toward the little table in the center of the room before quickly turning back to her host. "Would you like me to help carry that?"

"No way. People with injured wrists don't get to carry things in other peoples' houses."

"Er-"

"Please sit down, Nanami-senpai."

"Right..." She seems almost guilty now as she takes a seat – the same spot she had last time, closest to Yuu's bed – and kneels onto the floor cushion. Yuu sits across from her and places down the tea cups. She can clearly tell Touko is still on-edge judging by her stiff posture and nervous gaze. Yuu tries to ease her nerves a bit.

"I'm surprised you aren't sick of tea by now," she says.

Touko looks up shyly and smiles.

"I'll never get sick of it. Especially if it means getting to spend some time with you, Koito-san." She reaches for her cup with her right hand, seemingly forgetting that it's injured, and flinches as soon as she tries to pick up the cup. She quickly reaches out with her left to ensure it doesn't spill. Yuu makes a move to help her, leaning across the table right away to support her grip.

"Careful! What if you burn yourself?" She holds firmly onto Touko's hands on her tea cup and gently has her set it back down. "Would you like some ice for your wrist? You really should have gone to the nurse and done that sooner."

"I-It's fine, really."

"If you can't even type or pick up a tea cup, is it really fine, Nanami-senpai? I understand you don't want to worry others, but the cold hard truth is that if you keep bottling stuff up inside it's eventually going to overflow, and won't that be an even bigger burden on everyone else?"

Perhaps she went a little too far that time, because Touko visibly flinches. She doesn't look up at her, but rather keeps her gaze focused on her lap. Yuu waits patiently and readily for her response.

At last, Touko heaves a sigh and caves.

"Then, if you wouldn't mind..."

"Of course I wouldn't. That's why I offered. Wait here."

She leaves Touko once again to head to the kitchen, where she pours some ice into a small ziplock baggie and wraps it in a wash cloth. When she returns, she finds Touko still hasn't touched her tea nor lifted her face. Yuu sits down directly beside her, and only that seems to wake her from her trance.

"K-Koito-san-"

"You're so sensitive, senpai. Don't take everything to heart so much. Here, lemme see your hand."

Touko flashes her another bashful glance before timidly lifting her right hand. Yuu takes it very gently, supporting her forearm from underneath as she holds the ice on top. She feels Touko flinch and shiver, and hears her suck in a sharp breath.

"It's cold!"

"Of course it is. How's the pain?"

Touko is rigid for a moment longer before she relaxes just a little bit, though she still remains relatively tense.

"It's not so bad..."

"That's good."

"I-I can do it myself from here, Koito-san."

"Nope. My grandma taught me this way. You shouldn't let the injured person treat themselves or else they might get even more hurt."

"B-But, like this..." Touko's cheeks become an even darker shade of pink, and she has to look away again. "I don't think my heart can take it..."

She looks like she's about to cry, but from glee or from nervousness Yuu can't really tell. Perhaps a little of both.

But Yuu doesn't relinquish her grip on the ice or on Touko. She rotates Touko's hand a little, turning the underside of her wrist up and resting the ice there instead. Her fingertips brush just barely against the faint fluttering underneath.

And just like last time, she can feel Touko's pulse flitting frantically, perhaps even faster than last time. It works in Yuu's favor though, because that's what she'd been curious about since this morning.

She lets her eyes travel over Touko, who's now turned away from her as much as possible without pulling her hand back. Her eyes are closed and her blush is feverish, and little whimpers keep escaping her lips. Yuu can easily feel her pulse in her wrist, but it isn't like earlier today, after the volleyball game.

When Touko had hugged her then in her merriment, Yuu had felt her heart directly, pounding hard and excited up against her chest, so much so that it nearly shook her entire body.

It had made her... a little jealous. That something else would make Touko's heart beat faster than Yuu's own presence did. She doesn't even fully understand it herself, but that's what she's chalked it up to.

Of course rigorous physical activity would do that to a person, even someone who's used to athletic demands like Touko. But for some reason she can't properly explain, it's just been bugging her.

Presently, Yuu rotates Touko's hand again and moves the ice with care. Her pulse hasn't calmed down at all. In fact, it's probably gotten faster.

Maybe this is cruel of her. No – it's definitely cruel of her.

But Yuu just can't help herself, especially when it's Touko.

"Nanami-senpai?"

"Y-Yes?" Touko cracks an eye open and flashes her a glance that's almost pleading. "K-Koito-san, it's really fine now. Y-You don't have to-"

"Does your offer still stand?"

"...Eh?"

Yuu crawls a little closer. Touko yelps and presses her back deeper into the side of the bed. She mostly forgets how to breathe.

"W...What offer? What do you mean...?"

Yuu gingerly lies Touko's wrist in her lap, but still keeps ahold of her hand and the ice as she inches a bit closer.

"Your offer from last time. I want to listen."

"...Eh?"

"To your heart."

Touko's jaw drops for a second, and it feels like her heart actually stops beating. She sputters for breath and for words, but Yuu doesn't retreat. She keeps her hands on Touko's and remains comfortably in her personal space, even though she knows it's killing her.

She watches the conflicting emotions flash through Touko's eyes, everything from excitement and glee to uncertainty and terror. The poor girl flounders for words, and her face gets redder and redder with every passing thump of her heart.

"I... Th-That..." She inhales sharply, but chokes on it and ends up squeaking. "I-I..."

Yuu gives her a moment, maintaining her perfectly calm demeanor as Touko spirals into an unceremonious mess. When she still hasn't managed to respond coherently, Yuu relents and leans back.

"It's fine if you don't want me to anymore."

"N-No!" Touko all but shrieks, then quickly covers her mouth with the hand Yuu isn't holding. She's all but panting for breath, and Yuu can see tears clinging to the corners of her eyes. She shakes her head, mentally reprimanding herself.

/I am just being cruel to her after all./

"It's okay, senpai. I'm sorry. You don't have to force yourself-"

"I-I'm not forcing myself!" she blurts. "I-I just... need to find a bit more courage..."

Yuu gives her a tiny smile.

"Nanami-senpai, it's all right. I shouldn't have asked after refusing your offer last time."

"B-But I want you to!" Touko wails, then quickly lowers her voice. "I-I mean I... m-my offer still stands, Koito-san... I-If you want to, th-then please... please go ahead..."

Yuu narrows her eyes.

"Are you sure? You look like you're about to pass out."

"I-If I do, it'll be from happiness..."

"Either way, it'd be an inconvenience to have to explain to my family if my senpai passed out in my room."

"I-I'll do my best not to..." She makes full eye contact with Yuu for about half a second before she's looking away again and squeezing her eyes shut.

Yuu is conflicted about it all now. At first she'd really wanted to try this because she'd been genuinely curious, but now she just doesn't want Touko to get so worked up she passes out.

But she can't back down now - not when Touko is expecting her to go through with it. Even if she's trembling and on the verge of tears, she's evidently very eager to have Yuu try it.

Therefore, Yuu slowly moves as close to her as possible, letting go of the bag of ice for now and letting it slide onto the floor between them. If she wants to be close enough to listen to Touko's heart, she can't have her arms getting in the way, so she wraps them gently around her – one around the small of her back and the other around her stomach.

She's been close to her before when they've kissed, but she's never been this close. Only earlier today when Touko had hugged her in exuberance after the match.

But at that point they'd been in a noisy gymnasium full of cheering, shouting people.

Now it's very different.

They're alone in her room, in the place where Yuu feels the most comfortable in the world, with the calming scent of tea and the warm rays of the afternoon sun settling in. It's quiet and peaceful, though in contrast she can tell there's complete chaos happening inside of Touko.

Yuu can feel her quivering all over, hear the strangled fragments of her breath as she tries to remember how to keep her lungs functioning. She wants to give her a second to adjust, but she feels that might just be prolonging the difficulties for her. So she just goes straight in for the kill this time.

Hugging Touko around her stomach, she slouches in against her chest. Touko makes a sound somewhere between a whimper and a squeal as her breath hitches in her throat.

Yuu can hear it. She can hear a lot of things.

She turns her head and presses her ear flush up against Touko's collar. She can hear the clipped nervous breath she's trying to take, she can hear all the little sounds she's making in the back of her chest-

-but most of all she can hear the pounding of her heart.

Not just hear it either; she can feel it.

And somehow it's different from before, from after the volleyball match. She can't quite figure it out, but it's different somehow...

Yuu loses her train of thought momentarily as she hears more noises trying to configure themselves in Touko's chest. When she finally inhales enough breath to use it, she tries her best to speak.

"K-K-Koito-san..."

She really does sound like she's about to pass out. Yuu grimaces, but isn't willing to move back just yet unless it's absolutely necessary.

"What is it?" Her calm, smooth, unaffected tone is a dire, almost comical contrast to Touko's disastrous attempt at speech.

"Ah... th-that is... m-my arms... c-can I...?"

Yuu opens her eyes briefly. While she's made comfortable purchase hugging Touko, Touko has her arms up in the air like some criminal, and she's trembling beneath the weight of them, unsure of what to do. Yuu sighs.

"They're your arms, Nanami-senpai. You can do whatever you'd like with them."

"Ah... are you sure...?"

"I'm sure."

Touko whimpers again, and Yuu still can't tell if it's more happy or pained.

Slowly, Touko lowers her shaking arms until they're draped lightly across Yuu's back. She gives a squeeze to help herself find purchase, but it doesn't stop the quivering.

Yuu can't help but feel guilty about all of this now, but she's already in this mess, so she's going to see it through. Besides, she still needs a surefire answer to her personal query.

She closes her eyes again and tries to concentrate on Touko's rapid heartbeat, but there's still so many other things going on. Touko is trembling as though she'd just run through a blizzard. She's even started to gasp softly for breath. Yuu opens her eyes again, but can't see her expression when she looks up.

"Nanami-senpai... your heart's beating really hard. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I... I'm sure..."

"You don't seem okay at all."

"I-I am-"

"You can barely speak."

"J-Just... don't move yet..." she gasps. "I-If you do... I feel my heart might burst out of my chest..."

"You're definitely not okay."

Touko squeezes her a little harder.

"P-Please, Koito-san..."

"You want me to stay?"

"Y-Yes... I know it may not seem like it, but... I'm really happy..." She manages to inhale, and Yuu can feel her chest move with the breath. A second later Touko exhales, and it still trembles, but it seems a bit steadier somehow.

"Fine," Yuu mumbles. "Just please don't forget to breathe, senpai."

"I'll do my best..."

At the very least now that she's gotten to rest her arms, she seems to be a bit less tense, though Yuu wouldn't say she's anywhere near relaxed yet.

She can tell Touko is trying to get ahold of herself by the way she's taking deeper breaths.

She's trying. Yuu can tell she really is.

But not a minute later she hears hiccups working their way into Touko's throat, and her heart starts jolting.

Yuu sighs again.

"Senpai. If it's enough to make you cry, you're really not okay."

Touko lets her voice out into a loud sob that she quickly muffles by leaning forward to bury her face into Yuu's shoulder.

"N-No, I... I promise I'm okay..."

"You're just really happy?"

"Yes..." she sniffles. "I'm really, really happy, Koito-san..."

"You sure show it in ways that make it seem like you're miserable."

This time Touko actually attempts a small laugh.

"Sorry. Thanks for worrying about me, Koito-san."

It puts Yuu at ease a little. At least she can tell for sure that Touko isn't actually uncomfortable with all of this. But it had probably been unfair of Yuu to spring it on her so suddenly today. Even if the tears are tears of joy, she still feels guilty for having done something to make her cry at all.

Yuu presses herself a little closer to her, because it really does feel like Touko's heart might burst out if she doesn't hold it in place herself.

"You say you're all right... but how am I supposed to believe that someone who's crying and shaking and whose heart is about to give out is 'all right'? I'm not convinced, senpai."

She feels Touko squeeze her a little harder, a little closer. When she next inhales, she actually manages to speak clearly.

"That's because you've never been in love, Koito-san."

Yuu blinks.

"Eh?"

She can't see Touko's face like this, but judging by the way she's hugging her and the smile she can hear in her words now, she seems to be speaking genuinely.

"That's what I think, at least. Because when you're in love... when you like someone as much as I like you... you experience a lot of emotions all at once... Sometimes it makes you so nervous you forget how to speak, and sometimes it makes you so happy you start to cry, and sometimes your heart pounds so hard it almost stops... Nothing really makes sense, and yet it feels like everything is just right."

She lets out a long, steady sigh, and Yuu feels her chest deflate. There are a few more lingering hiccups bubbling up in her collar, but for the most part she's stopped shaking so hard. Her heart is still doing backflips, but it doesn't feel as powerful as it had before.

"Well..." Yuu mumbles. "I definitely believe you on that. There's plenty of proof right here. But please don't let your heart beat so quickly that it stops altogether. I really wouldn't be able to explain that to my family."

"It's... not exactly up to me..."

"Then please take a few breaths and try to calm down, senpai."

She hears Touko sigh before breathing in again much more slowly. Her heart is still drumming in Yuu's ear, but it's not a thundering stampede like it was before. It's still very fast, but feels a bit lighter now.

As Touko begins to calm herself down, Yuu closes her eyes once again to focus on the rhythm of her heart. At the very least now she knows firsthand the full extent of what kind of affect she has on her. It's similar to the aftereffects of an intense volleyball tournament, and yet it's somehow different. Touko's heart is still beating just as quickly and with just as much fervor, but it isn't just out of elation at having won a game this time.

Based on what she'd read about in books and heard about in songs and movies, Yuu had always thought being in love made a person's heart race out of glee. But now she knows that isn't entirely true. Rather, that's just one part of many.

Now she knows love doesn't just make your heart skip a beat because you're happy.

Now she knows love can make you shake and tremble, that it can make you cry because you're so incredibly nervous or so relieved, that it can make your heart beat impossibly fast or almost stop altogether.

Love is something much more powerful and profound than she'd ever imagined.

It's scary. It's intimidating.

But...

A smile curls on her lips now as she listens to Touko's heartbeat. It flutters and sings like a bird freed from a cage. She can feel Touko breathing in more deeply than ever before, as though wanting to absorb every possible ounce of air in this moment and engrave it into her soul. When she exhales, it still trembles a little, but it's the most blissful sound she's ever heard.

Yuu hugs her a little tighter and nuzzles closer.

/No fair. Why can't I react like this? I've never felt as many emotions as she's feeling now in my entire life... I want to feel those things too, all at once.../

But with how strongly Touko's joy is leaking into the atmosphere, Yuu can't even be disappointed by her own inability to experience that same joy. Touko's mirth is contagious, and it paints a smile across Yuu's lips before she knows it.

/Well, even if I can't feel like that, it's still nice to let someone else feel that way. So long as she doesn't actually pass out.../

Touko had grown quiet in the past few minutes, enough to warrant a bit of concern. Her pulse has dropped back into something more normal, and her breathing has evened out as well. Slowly, Yuu lifts her head just a little bit.

"Senpai?"

"...Hm...?"

"Are you falling asleep?"

"Mm? Ah-!" Touko promptly straightens up from where she'd started slouching against the side of the bed. "I-I'm sorry! I'd just gotten so comfortable-"

"I think the word you're looking for is 'exhausted.' I swear you nearly had a heart-attack because of this."

"B-But it's because I was so happy!"

"That's no reason to give yourself a heart-attack!"

"I-It wasn't my fault," Touko pouts. "If anything it's yours, Koito-san..."

"All I did was take you up on the offer you made last time. You're the one who reacted so strongly."

"I don't exactly have a choice in the matter!" Touko's heart starts pounding again, and Yuu almost laughs.

"You get flustered way too easily, senpai."

"Only with you..." Touko hides her face in her shoulder once again, and Yuu chuckles. She gives her another moment to recover, and waits until her heartbeat has slowed again before she starts easing herself away.

"Well, in the end I did gather some vital information with all of this." She finally straightens up enough to see Touko's face again. It's still very pink, and her eyes shoot open wide now.

"Information? What do you-"

"Don't worry about it. What's most important is that it made you really happy without giving you a heart-attack." She pauses, then narrows her eyes. "You weren't lying about that, were you?"

"N-No! I really was happy, Koito-san! So, so happy I can't even put it into words!" Touko grabs both of her hands in spite of her own sore wrist and squeezes in earnest. Yuu can tell she's telling the truth.

"All right, good."

"B-But what did you mean by gather informa-"

"Ah geez, look at the time. Shouldn't you head start heading to the station soon, senpai?"

"Oh, you're right! I need to get going! Ah, b-but I didn't even drink any of the tea you made me yet!" She hastily picks up her now-lukewarm cup with both hands and takes a quick sip before putting it back down. She staggers to her feet, finding that her legs are still weak from the previous ordeal, so Yuu jumps up right away to help support her.

Touko picks up her bag, and Yuu walks her downstairs into the bookstore, where Touko politely says goodbye to her mother and grandmother in the shop. Yuu walks her outside into the warm evening air and finally lets go of her.

"Are you sure you're okay, senpai? You'll be able to make it home by yourself?"

"Y-Yes. I'll be fine." She meets Yuu's gaze for half a second before blushing and turning away. Yuu feels that guilt prickling in her gut again.

"Sorry about today, senpai. I didn't mean to overwhelm you."

"N-Not at all!" Touko whirls right back around to face her with earnest eyes. "L-Like you said, it was my idea originally. And I really did mean it when I said it made me happy. I feel like I won't be able to sleep tonight because I'll still be so happy about it!"

"No, please get some rest. We still have school tomorrow."

"I'll try my best." Touko smiles and gives a little wave. "Thank you for inviting me over, Koito-san. And thanks for the ice. My wrist feels much better."

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow, Nanami-senpai."

"Bye! See you tomorrow, Koito-san!"

With that, Touko twirls around and begins making her way down the sidewalk. She's clearly trying to walk normally, but Yuu can tell there's a brilliant, merry aura wafting off of her. She can't help but smile as she watches her go until she's out of sight.

Eventually Yuu retreats back to her room. Only then does she realize Touko had forgotten the bag of books she'd purchased.

"I'll give them to her tomorrow at school..."

Yuu takes a seat on the floor at her table where her own cup of tea has gone cool. But it feels strange to look up now and find Touko's spot empty. So she slowly crawls around to sit in her spot instead.

Yuu picks up Touko's cup and drinks from the spot where her lips had touched.

And she can't be sure, but just maybe her own heart skips a beat, just a little.

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A/N: Well this fic's turned into as gay a disaster in writing as Touko is as a person. I was so eager when that scene happened in the anime but slightly disappointed we didn't get to see it happen for real (just felt her wrist! Gaaahh!!) so yeah of course I had to write it myself. And as I was writing I got an idea for a ch2 so expect that soon!

Not really sure I've gotten writing them down very well (or at least not Yuu, Touko feels all right), and the idea itself was more self-indulgence than anything, but I hope you enjoyed anyway and will read ch2!