Playing Doctor with Midoriko!

	Kamui coughed hard. His limbs ached as feeling started to return to them. He was lying down somewhere cold, but he could smell something nice and flowery nearby. He groaned and strained to open his eyes. He found a pair of big, green eyes staring back at him.
	"Hey, stay calm!" said Midoriko. The girl was kneeling beside him, with both of her hands resting on his chest. "You're safe here!"
	Midoriko pulled her hands back so Kamui could sit up. He found himself in the dirt on the outskirts of the army camp. Aside from Midoriko, nobody else was in sight, and the nearest tents were quiet. Kamui rubbed his temples, making sure his head was still in one piece. "What happened?" he asked.
	"Midoriko was worried! You didn't look so good today!" Midoriko said. "You left dinner early, so I had to check up on you! And then I found you face-down here, so I had to give you mouth-to-mouth to bring you back!"
	Part of Kamui wished he had been conscious for that experience. "Thanks for looking out for me," he said.
	Midoriko grinned. "It's part of Midoriko's duty as a medic to look out for everyone's health!" she said. She puffed out her chest in pride. Kamui remembered that he needed to iron his laundry.
	Kamui tried to stand up, but he still didn't have complete control over his legs. Midoriko caught him before he fell.
	"Hey, slow down!" Midoriko chided. "We need to get you to the medical tent right away!" She slung Kamui's arm over her shoulder. "Ready, and... hupsie!" She used her legs to lift Kamui up. He leaned on her and tried to stabilize himself. Midoriko's hair had a pleasant herbal scent, no doubt from her spending her free time experimenting with medicine.
	With Midoriko supporting him, Kamui began to stumble over to the tents. After a few steps, Midoriko stopped and frowned. "Midoriko's tent is close by, and you're heavy," she pouted. "I can treat you over there instead."
	They turned and headed in the new direction. "You know, I keep forgetting that you're a medic even though you're so young," Kamui said.
	"Midoriko is over eighteen!" she corrected.
	"Wait, seriously?"
	Midoriko nodded twice. "With everyone growing up in places where time flows differently, it can be hard to keep track sometimes," she explained. "But let me assure you, Midoriko is definitely over eighteen!"
	"At least I won't have to feel guilty then," Kamui blurted out. He immediately regretted saying that, wondering how he could speak without thinking. He hoped Midoriko would attribute it to him still not being entirely conscious.
	"Don't feel guilty! Midoriko works as hard as everyone else here!" she said. Kamui felt relieved that she didn't take his thinking aloud the wrong way.

	Having arrived at the tent, Midoriko opened the flap and pushed Kamui inside. The tent wasn't very spacious, having only a cot, Midoriko's belongings, and bags of various herbs. Midoriko motioned for him to lie down. The cot was much too small for Kamui, but he was grateful he didn't have to stand any more.
	"Midoriko wants to help everyone, so that everyone will give Midoriko a pat on the head!" she continued.
	"Yeah, but I only do that to grope Midoriko's chest without Midoriko noticing," Kamui shot back.
	Midoriko stopped with her mouth open. Kamui burned with shame. He had no doubt that Suzukaze would have him locked away for saying something like that.
	Midoriko snapped her fingers and her smile returned. "Ooh, I've heard of this one," she said. "It's a poison that ninjas use for interrogation. It makes you say lots of funny things and stops you from escaping."
	"Coming from a family of ninjas must help a lot for studying medicine," Kamui said. He quickly sat upright. "Hang on, does that mean someone poisoned my dinner?" he asked. "Is the enemy in the camp?"
	Midoriko pushed him back down on the cot. "You need to rest now!" she said. She put up her fists. "Midoriko will protect you!"
	"If the enemy is hiding here, they'll expect me to go to the medical tent, and they'll try to abduct me from there," Kamui said. "They're probably keeping a close eye on Felicia and Joker too."
	"Stay here until you feel better!" Midoriko said. "Midoriko is okay with sleeping on the floor!"
	"How long does it take for this poison to wear off, anyways?" Kamui asked.
	Midoriko shrugged. "A week?"
	Kamui shook his head. "I can't be out of action for that long. You don't know of any cure, do you?"
	"Oh! Mister Zero has been working with Midoriko in finding remedies for dealing with ninja poisons!" Midoriko said. She then stopped herself, her face reddening as she looked away from Kamui. "You're not going to like it though."
	"How bad can it be?"

	"I'm missing one vital ingredient," Midoriko explained, "but with you here, I should be able to extract it without too much trouble."
	Kamui squirmed. "What do you mean by 'extract,' exactly?"
	"We-well, the bodily fluids of dragons have all sorts pharmaceutical uses," she continued. Her gaze drifted down from Kamui's face and stopped at his belt buckle. "Midoriko has been meaning to ask for a while, but it's not really a polite thing to bring up."
	"Are you kidding me?" Kamui groaned.
	"Also, since you're only half-dragon, we'll need twice as much for the cure to be potent."
	"That's not the issue!" Kamui whined, flailing in the cot. He stopped when he realized he couldn't leave on his own. He saw that Midoriko had put on a pair of gloves and was carrying an empty flask. He could have sworn that she almost looked happy that he was stuck there.
	Midoriko bit her lip. Her face was bright red as she eyed the bulging dagger in Kamui's doublet. "Please have believe in Midoriko," she said. "I've read a lot of books on anatomy."
	Kamui worried that another inappropriate outburst would land him in deeper trouble. "You should put something in my mouth so I don't say anything else weird," he said.
	Midoriko worked at unfastening his pants. "Don't worry. People say all sorts of things when they're sick," she said. "You're a patient, so it's all confidential, and Midoriko doesn't want you to risk choking or suffocating."
	Midoriko tugged Kamui's trousers down, revealing his prf weapon standing upright. She gasped. She brought her face close to it, examining it with great curiosity. No amount of pictures in books could compare to the real thing. "So, it's supposed to get bigger, right?" she asked.
	Kamui's feelings were crushed. "Hey, it's more than enough to split you in half, even without a crit." he spat.
	Midoriko ignored him and continued to prod with her fingertips.
	"You really should make sure I can't talk any more," Kamui complained. He had reached his limit and couldn't quiet his feelings any more. "You know, like stuff your panties in my mouth."
	The shock of the sudden comment made Midoriko grab Kamui's hilt with too much force. Kamui winced, but he couldn't stop talking.
	"You know, I've seen your Berserker outfit," he continued. "I don't think you even wear panties. You should quiet me by placing your little behind in my face, so we'll know for sure."
	Midoriko looked like she was about to cry. She seemed to forget that she had a tight grip on Kamui. All of Kamui's excitement rushed out of his other head too, and Midoriko realized that she should have used a bigger flask.

	Midoriko got to work, pulling out various herbs from pouches and mixing them with Kamui's fresh ingredient using a mortar and pestle. Kamui still felt uneasy. "You're not going to make me eat that, are you?" he asked.
	"It's not an oral treatment," Midoriko said.
	"Oh, good," Kamui said. He suddenly was overcome by terror. "Wait, no, not good. What kind of treatment is it then?"
	"The medicine is first applied to a staff."
	"Oh, that's fine, then."
	Midoriko retrieved a massive, wooden shaft with several straps resembling belts on one end. She secured it around her waist, letting the staff protrude upwards and dangle freely. She took her mixture and lubricated the end of the rod, causing it to glisten.
	"What the hell kind of staff is that?" Kamui demanded.
	"The medicine is only effective if it's put deep withing the body," Midoriko said. "My arms aren't very strong, but with this I can use my hips to make sure it gets in all the way."
	Kamui eyed the staff. "Don't tell me where that's going," he said.
	"Mister Zero insisted that we come up with an antidote that's taken rectally!" Midoriko said.
	Kamui grinded his teeth. "As expected of Zero," he said.
	"Midoriko is really, really sorry!" Midoriko said. She bowed suddenly in apology, causing the staff to bob down. It bounced back up, smacking her squarely in the head. She wiped the medicine off of her face with her sleeve.
	"Where do you even get a staff like that?" Kamui asked.
	"Miss Soleil gave it to Midoriko! Midoriko is helping Miss Soleil study gynecology!"
	That sounds like an idea for a sequel, thought Kamui.
	Midoriko yanked Kamui's pants all the way down and flipped him over on the cot. Kamui was surprised that she had that kind of strength.
	"Just relax!" Midoriko shouted. "It'll only hurt a little!"

	Kamui woke up in his tent. Felicia came running in.
	"Master Kamui, you're finally up!" Felicia said. "You were missing, but Midoriko found you unconscious and revived you!"
	"Midoriko did?" Kamui asked. It seemed familiar, but his head was foggy.
	"You know, that girl is a really hard worker," Felicia said. "She's been cooking dinner for the entire army!"
	Kamui was impressed. "I'll have to pat her head next time I see her."