Jelly Janna 6

Hope had followed silently, watching, as Janna and Marco walked through the park, a sinking feeling in her stomach as the sun dipped below the horizon. She knew it was wrong. She knew she was going to see something she didn't want to see, shouldn't see. But she felt powerless to stop herself. And the more she watched the more it hurt. Every smile, every laugh, every longing glance Janna gave Marco gave Hope a pang of sadness, like it had never done before.

She tore her eyes away as they sat down in the grass, banging her fists against her head as she hid in some bushes. She had watched Janna pine over Marco for years and it hadn't bothered her as much as this. Why did this hurt so much, now? Why was it getting to her? Was it because she had committed? Was it because, for the first time, she was trying, actually trying for Janna? Hope hadn't expected it to hurt this much. She hadn't expected these unleashed, pent-up feelings to have this much of an affect on her. She glanced back at Janna and Marco -

And gasped as it felt like a dagger hammered into her heart. They were kissing. Not just kissing - Janna's hands were shaking, as she held Marco by the face, her eyes closed, like her whole being was in the kiss.

Hope tried to look away, but she couldn't. And a devilish little voice inside her spoke: "She will never kiss you like that. She will never look at you the way she looks at him. She will never feel for you what she feels for him, right now. You could be together forever, she could forget Marco for years and years, and she will never feel for you what she feels for him right now."

"Shut up," Hope whispered to herself, tears welling in her eyes. "Shut up, shut up."

"Do you want to know what the worst part is?" said the devilish little voice in response. "You could have remained ignorant of all this. You didn't have to follow them. You didn't have to see this. You could have remained ignorant, not knowing about this moment, and you could have been satisfied with the love Janna could have given you. But now, no matter how much she loves you, you will always know deep down: Not as much as she could have loved him."

Tears poured down Hope's face. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the voice, and the terrible, awful truth she knew it was speaking. "Stop," she whispered miserably. "Please."

"You ruined it, Hope," said the voice. "Because you followed them, because you saw this, you will never have with her what you could have had. You ruined everything."

Hope coughed. She could no longer think straight. Her chest felt like it was about to explode, and it was as if her brain was full of hot knives, jumbling her thoughts. "I can forget it, I can forget it," she mumbled to herself, not even sure what she was talking about. In a burst of madness, she looked back at Janna again.

And...Marco was gone. No, there he was, leaving her, melting into the shadows, as Janna reached out for him, calling his name -

"Something she'll never do for you with such passion," said the voice.

Hope smothered the voice in the rage she was feeling. How could Marco leave her there like that? Couldn't he see...couldn't he see that she had given him her all? Couldn't he tell how much she loved him? Didn't he see how cruel he was being? How awfully, unimaginably cruel? Didn't he see how amazing, how completely beautiful she was, how good she was deep down, couldn't he see she deserved better than this?

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Janna picked herself up off the grass, gingerly. She was surprised to find her legs felt so weak that she almost stumbled as she stood. Even once she gained her balance, her legs were still shaking.

She was a swirl, a chaos, a storm of emotions. Part of her was deliriously happy. Marco had kissed HER! He had feelings for her! After so long, so many years of watching him from a distance, having been pushed away from him as a friend, after so much distance, after longing for so long, to feel his lips upon hers had felt so amazing. Through all the distance, through all the obliviousness, deep down, Marco felt something for her, no matter how much he might try to deny it.

And it had felt so, so awful when he left. Although, maybe it had been better that he left when he did. Janna knew that at that point she had had no control. She would have gone further than just a kiss. If Marco hadn't left, if he had stayed with her, she had felt so alive, so free, so full of love that there was nothing she wouldn't have done.

And that left her twisted. Marco had at least had the decency to try to keep his promise to Jackie, no matter how much Janna might try to tempt him. But Janna? She had betrayed her friend in the worst way. She had kissed Marco while she was away, and had been ready to do so much more. If I was a decent person, Janna thought, I would have at least waited for Marco to break up with her before I made my move.

But she couldn't help but smile to herself as she began walking away. She didn't care. She would betray her friend, if that meant that she got Marco. "I'm a bad person," she said to herself, feeling happy and sad all at the same time. The wine certainly wasn't helping. The whole world seemed like a cloud, the night air thick and heavy, the fireflies wondrous blinking blurs of light. She laughed, and then was surprised to feel a hot tear roll down her cheek. Everything was wonderful and awful at the same time.

She stumbled, almost falling, and then there was someone at her side, catching her pulling her up. "Hope?" she asked, as her friend's face swam into view.

"Are you okay?"

Janna threw her arms around her friend and pulled her in close. "Everything's amazing. Everything's exactly the way it should be. Marco kissed me."

"I....saw."

"You saw?" Janna laughed and hugged her friend tighter. "You were looking after me, weren't you? You were making sure I was okay. I don't deserve a friend like you. You're so beautiful. Everything about you is so beautiful. You're a good person."

"I think you might be a little drunk, Janna."

"So what if I am? It doesn't mean this isn't true. I'm so lucky and so alive. I'm such a bad person and such amazing beautiful people care about me so much." Suddenly, Janna realized, with her cheek pressed against Hope's, that her friend was crying. "Hope, what is it? Is it your parents again?"

"You're not a bad person, Janna." Hope sniffled.

"I am. I'm a terrible person. I'm dirt. I backstabbed a friend while she was away because I was in love with her boyfriend. But I don't care, I don't care, I'd do it again. Hope, what's wrong? I can't be happy when you're sad."

"Nothing's wrong, Janna. Let's just get you home."

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The entire walk home, Janna kept needling Hope, asking her what was wrong. When she finally got quiet, she kept giggling to herself and then throwing her hands over her face, and Hope knew she was thinking about the kiss. It was painful. Every shy smile, every quirk of the mouth, Hope felt her heart torn in two.

"You have to be here for her," Hope told herself. "She needs you." But whenever she looked at her friend, all she could see was her, kissing Marco, looking so happy, looking complete, looking utterly in love.

Finally, they arrived at Janna's house.

"Well..." said Hope, "Here you are. You should-"

"Stay with me tonight, Hope."

Hope froze. "Uh...no, I think tonight's not a good night-"

"Come on! I know something is bothering you. It IS your parents, isn't it? Come on, let me...COMFORT you."

Hope glanced down at Janna, who was looking at her with dark, twinkling eyes and a mischievous grin, her face hidden in shadow and the voluminous tangles of her hair. She was so beautiful, dangerously beautiful. Even though Hope knew she was joking, she felt her knees grow weak and a shiver go up her spine. All that beauty, and it would never truly be hers. It belonged to Marco. Hope felt a stab in her heart and grimaced.

"No...it's...really okay, Janna-"

And suddenly, she found herself embraced by her friend. "If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me?" Janna said with her face buried into Hope's shoulder. "I...I know I probably lost a friend tonight. Jackie is going to find out and that's that. And who knows what Marco is going to do."

Hope didn't know what to say. Janna was shaking in her arms. She felt her friend's hands ball into tiny fists, clutching her sweater.

"Do you....think I'm a bad person too, Hope? Is that why you don't want to stay? I...I understand if you do. I am-"

Hope cut Janna off. "No, no. No, of course not, Janna, I would never think you were a bad person. I...I think you probably did something pretty rash. But....that doesn't make you a bad person."

Janna looked up at her and smiled miserably. "That's why I want you to stay, Hope. I need to know I still have one friend who will always be on my side, even when I don't deserve it. I need you."

Maybe Janna is a bad person, Hope thought for a moment, because even if she doesn't mean to, everything she says hurts so bad. But maybe that was what love meant. Accepting all the pain, accepting how easily the other person could hurt you. How easily they would hurt you. And being there for them all the same. "If it makes you happy," she whispered.

Janna smiled, that gorgeous, mischievous, vicious smile, and Hope followed her into the house.

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Marco had stumbled home through the darkness, tree branches slapping him in the face, his head a swirling blur from the wine.

Why had he done that? Why had he kissed Janna? Why her, of all people? He tried to remember what had led up to it, but his thoughts were thick, slow, like syrup, he couldn't organize them. One memory stuck out - Janna's bare legs, her skirt hiked up around her waist. She had flashed him.

She...she had been messing with him, right? It wasn't serious. The kiss had felt serious, though. The way Janna shook in his arms, the way she pulled him into the kiss, her breath, the way she pressed her body against his, the way she had spread her legs-

"AAH!" Marco said, chasing those thoughts out of his mind. He was already in enough trouble. Jackie, oh god, Jackie. What would she think? He had to tell her. Weren't she and Janna friends? Maybe this was some kind of trick? Maybe Janna was trying to seduce him, to see how faithful he would be to Jackie while she was out of town? That was just something Janna would do, too. Jackie probably wouldn't even know about it. Well, if that was the point, he had failed that test miserably. What was he going to tell Jackie?

Should he call her right now? Janna was probably already on the phone to her. "Damn it, Janna," he mumbled. Suddenly, Marco looked up. This wasn't his street. Had he been drunkenly stumbling down the wrong street? He tried looking around for landmarks to see where he was, but his brain was still working too slowly. How was he going to get home?

Suddenly, there, lit up against the horizon, was a distinctive, pulsating glow. Marco would recognize that glow anywhere. It was Star's wand, shining through the window of her room. Marco was a few streets over from where his house was.

"Good ol' Star," Marco murmured to himself, pushing all other thoughts out of his mind as he staggered toward the light.

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Star was in her room, getting ready for bed, using her wand to magically float brushes through her hair. It was a hot night, so instead of her nightgown, she had laid out a tanktop and a pair of Marco's boxers. (She was sure Marco wouldn't mind.)

She was in the middle of getting dressed, sliding the boxers on, when Marco barged through the door. Star yelped and yanked up the boxers as fast as she could. "Marco!" she cried. Lucky enough, it seemed like he hadn't seen anything. Star would have gotten mad, but it's not like she hadn't ever barged in on Marco while he was changing. Deliberately. Because she was curious.

"Star!" yelled Marco. "I was lost! And the light from your wand....guided me home." Marco looked off into the distance, as if he had just said something extremely important.

"Um. Okay...so where have you been?"

"Are those my boxers?"

"Oh yeah. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, no. Not at all. You fill them out nicely," Marco grinned, making an hourglass shape with his hands. Star felt herself blushing. They had been a little snug around the hips, but noticing something like that seemed a little strange for Marco. In fact, he had been acting strange since he came home.

"Th-thanks..." she managed. "Uh, Marco, are you okay? You seem a little off."

Marco collapsed onto her bed. "I'm drunk."

"You're drunk?"

"I drank. Janna-wine."

"Janna got you drunk," Star said, evenly. She sat down on the bed next to him.

"I kissed her."

"WHAT?!"

Marco sat up, head hanging in shame, and told Star the story of what had happened.

"I don't know why I kissed her," Marco wailed miserably. "I don't know what it was!"

Star was pursing her lips. "Marco, this is bad."

"I know. I'm dirt. I cheated on Jackie."

"No, not that. Well...sorta, I guess. I mean it sounds like Janna took advantage of you."

"Advantage of me?" Marco found his eyes drawn to the curve of Star's legs as she kicked them in the air thoughtfully. His boxers really were pretty snug on her....surprisingly curvaceous hips.

"Yeah! Marco, she got you drunk, then flashed you...Marco?"

Marco was staring at Star's face, transfixed. "You know, Star, I never really noticed how pretty you were before."

Star blushed furiously, then cleared her throat. "No, Marco, see? This is the alcohol talking. You're just..."

Marco leaned forward and kissed Star.

Star's eyes widened, her adrenaline kicked in, and for a crazy two seconds she kissed back before she realized what she was doing. She pushed Marco away. "As I was saying," she continued after catching her breath, "You're just a bit of a slut when you're drunk."

Marco was covering his face with his hands. "I'm so sorry, you just looked so beautiful. What's wrong with me?"

Star laughed. "Nothing's wrong with you. You're a very drunk teenage boy and you want to kiss pretty things." Star flipped her hair back. "Of course, unlike Janna, I have principles, so I won't take advantage of you. Not that...I would...want to if I didn't have principles. Um..."

"I'm gonna lose Jackie. I kissed...2 girls! While she was away."

"Oh well I mean come on Marco. You barely kissed me. I've had manicures more passionate. In fact, I don't think Jackie even needs to know."

"Okay well but...I mean with Janna we were REALLY into it. I mean really, REALLY into it."

"Okay," said Star.

"I mean really, really, really into it. Like the sort of kissing they do in porn-"

"OKAY," said Star. "Listen, Marco. Don't worry about it. Jackie seems like a really understanding girl. And I'll talk to her too! I'll tell her how drunk you were coming home. How you were taken advantage of. Marco. MARCO!" Star snapped her fingers and Marco's head lolled to the side. "Listen, you should probably sleep this off."

"Yeah, you're right," said Marco. "I'm gonna go to be-"

And then he slumped backwards, passed out on her bed.

Star groaned, then smiled gently at his sleeping form. She rolled him over a bit onto one side of the bed, and then tucked him in. "Good night, best bestie," she said sweetly. "You dirty kiss-slut."