zor describes the 13 tribes

Black Furies: Okay so. You know the internet. Right? You know Tumblr? Okay good you’re with me so far. You know tumblr feminists? You know. Rah rah fight the power men are scum male privilege? That’s basically all you need to know about the Black Furies. If you’re a dude you’re pretty much dirt. So that’s fun. They’re alright I guess. 7.8/10 too much vagina.

Bone Gnawers: These guys are basically that weird hobo friend you have who wears that ‘the end is nigh’ sign and everyone thinks they’re crazy but really they’re just having a go. Pretty good guys most of ‘em. A number of ‘em end up working with Nossies and stuff. They basically are Nossies, but werewolves. Some of the few that really get what’s going on with me. But that’s my opinion.

Children of Gaia: Dirty hippies. With peace and love, you will be tossed. But let me make a thing clear. Just cause Gaians are hippies who like peace doesn’t mean they can’t fight. Pissing off one of them is the exact same as pissing off any other. Doesn’t mean I can’t make fun of them sometimes.

Fianna: Ahem. FIDDLE DEE DEE POTATO TOP O’ THE MORNIN LEPRECHAUNS. Okay. Got that out of my system. But that’s really not an exaggeration. They’re all from the British isles, at least most of them. I’ve got some Fianna in me I’m pretty sure since a big chunk of my family is Scottish. They deal with Changelings a lot I guess. They also throw bangin parties.

Get of Fenris: You know the Black Furies? Okay now take that and reverse it. These guys fucking adore machismo. Raw strength gives them like seventeen boners and you aren’t worth a damn thing if you can’t keep up with one in a fight. Piss one off and you have no chance to survive, make your time.

Glass Walkers: The Best Tribe. Okay no but really, we’re the city wolves. You know. Besides the Bone Gnawers. We do all the big business and we’re the computer wolves. The other tribes don’t tend to get it, but in the modern world? This shit’s important. You can’t just keep to yourselves in the woods and not know anything about how to interact with people, and even other supernaturals.

Red Talons: Fuck ‘em. Fuck them and anyone who looks like them. Red Talons are dangerous. They are human killers. They will go right for the throats of any human that crosses their path. Some of them even torture them to ‘pay for their wyrm-tainted sins’ or whatever. The pitiful irony is that the Talons might just fall to the Wyrm themselves. Glass Walkers like me fear for our human kin especially, because they will slay them without mercy. Some of them might even choose to murder human-born Garou. Avoid at all costs.

Shadow Lords: Basically the Lasombra without the horrible Sabbat stuff but with all the elitism and dickitry.

Silent Striders: Sister-murdering dickbags. Okay. I get it. You got booted from your homeland by… what is it. The Setites? No one likes them. No matter what, please to be leaving my innocent Tremere sister and me out of it and maybe go for the horrible wyrm-stinking snake man in the dumpster on 56th. Her clan couldn’t even do anything to you they’re not old enough. All leeches must die you say shortly before I introduce my fist to your face. It sure would be nice to visit Vic sometime! You know! If I were welcome there!

Silver Fangs: All the uppity ponciness of the Ventrue without all of the things that make the Ventrue cool and useful dudes. Probably inbred. Think they’re the kings of the Garou Nation but they’re not. Not when half the Tribes have camps that want them gone.

Stargazers: I think Dr. Smith is one of these. Sure explains why she talks in fortune cookie. The Stargazers are weird mystics. Theurge: The Tribe. They watch the stars for prophecy, which I’ll admit is kind of a neat thing in it’s own right. Doesn’t mean I understand a word they say.

Uktena: Stereotypical Magical Natives Part 1. They call their little circlejerk between them and the Wendigo the ‘Pure Ones’. Alright. Suck a cock maybe? They like spirits more than they like people. Pretty sure they know how to go to the Underworld like Sin-Eaters do. That could be useful. I guess. As far as they know I’m purebred Brazilian because otherwise they look at me funny.

Wendigo: Stereotypical Magical Natives Part 2. Blah Blah Blah Pure Ones eat my dense chose please. Basically the Uktena but warriors and not spirit-fuckers. I mean their totem is literally a Wendigo and that’s fuckin metal but. No.

Black Spiral Dancers: Kill these. That’s all you need to know.