mem

It was an ordinary day in WindClan . . .
Breezepelt: I HATE--
Heathertail: Jayfeather!
Breezepelt: I was going to say Lionblaze this time . . .
Heathertail: You said him last time.
Breezepelt: But I forgot to say it yesterday. I had to make up for it.
Heathertail: Well, I guess that makes sense.
Breezepelt: I hate--
Nightcloud: Crowfeather!
Breezepelt: No, Jayfeather. Now I hate Crowfeather.
Whitetail: Breezepelt! You owe me a rabbit from last night's game of poke-her.
Sedgewhisker: I am not volunteering for that again. You cheat, Breezepelt. You're not supposed to poke with you claw!
Breezepelt: But then it's no fun! Then it --
Kestrelflight: GUESS WHAT EVERYONE?
(Everyone goes and hides behind Onestar's rock)
Onestar: WHAT? I was having a nice nap!
Sedgewhisker: Kestrelflight wants to tell us something!
Onestar: Oh. Good point.
Kestrelflight: Where did everyone go?
Breezepelt: We're not under a rock!
Kestrelflight: Oh. Okay. I'll go check in the elders' den, then.
Crowfeather: You know, there are more rocks than just this one.
Whitetail: Good point.
(Everyone goes and hides under different rocks)
Onestar: YES! I have my den back again!
Breezepelt: HELLO!
Onestar: AH! Breezepelt, why don't you find another rock?
Breezepelt: But I like your rock!
Onestar: Ugh.
Kestrelflight: No one's in there! The fairies are playing tricks on me again!
Heathertail: Sparkle, sparkle.
Kestrelflight: No! Now they're vampires!
Nightcloud: What?
Crowfeather: Don't ask me.
Kestrelflight: Well, I'll tell this rock then. Rock, I'm having a sleepover in the camp tonight!
(Rock: I really don't care.
Fallen Leaves: You don't care about my problems? You're so insensitive!
Hollyleaf: Oh, get over it already!
Fallen Leaves:  Fine. But you have to help me build the bridge.
Hollyleaf: Nevermind. I'm busy rock-tanning.)
Kestrelflight: If only I could think of who to invite.
Breezepelt: JAYFEATHER!
Kestrelflight: YES! I'll go invite him and all the medicine cats! *runs away in direction of RiverClan*
Whitetail: Should we tell him he's going to wrong way?
Heathertail: Nah.
Onestar: Well, we should evacuate the camp. Maybe we could go to the mountains or something.
Heathertail: Or we could go to the tunnels.
Sedgewhisker: Uh, aren't those unstable?
Heathertail: It's that, go to the mountains, or stay around for Kestrelflight's sleepover.
Sedgewhisker: Good point . . .
Onestar: Okay. Let's get going then!
Heathertail: Oh, and one more thing. I'm the leader down there in DarkClan.
(Rock: Looks like we're getting company.
Fallen Leaves: Yay! I'll go get popcorn!
Hollyleaf: What? Jayfeather thought you couldn't see anything!)
Onestar: Ugh. Fine.
Breezepelt: I'm deputy!
Heathertail: No! Lionblaze is!
Breezepelt: Fine, I'll go kill him then.
Heathertail: No, don't commit ******* yet!
Breezepelt: I would shred him!
Heathertail: Fine. But you have to be Lionclaw now.
Breezepelt: Fine.
Kestrelflight: WRONG WAY !
Heathertail: Scatter!


Lionblaze: So, Dovepaw, what's happening in ShadowClan territory?
Dovepaw: I'M BORED! We've been doing this all day!
Lionblaze: What's happening in ShadowClan territory?
Dovepaw: Uhm . . . Blackstar just declared the entire Clan to . . .
Lionblaze: Declared the entire Clan to what?
Dovepaw: HAVE A PARTY!
Lionblaze: This is serious!
Dovepaw: I'm bored!
Lionblaze: Fine, we'll go back to--
Dovepaw: Wait! Something's happening in WindClan!
Lionblaze: What? What's happening?
Dovepaw: Kestrelflight's going to have a slumber party!
Lionblaze: You know what you're going to do when we get back to camp, Dovepaw?
Dovepaw: For the last time, I don't have multiple powers! I can't read your mind like Jayfeather, and I can't tell the future! Quit doing this to me!
Lionblaze: You're going to go clean the elders' den.
Dovepaw: But I wasn't lieing!
Lionblaze: Sure you weren't, Dovepaw.
Dovepaw: And now WindClan is disappearing underground! Where did they all go? It's so strange . . .
Lionblaze: Okay. No mice tonight. No anything tonight. You're going to go watch the camp in silence tonight.
Dovepaw: So I'm getting my name?
Lionblaze: NO! You're just sitting in silence!
Dovepaw: But I wasn't joking!
Lionblaze: Go.
Dovepaw: But--
Kestrelflight: AH! A bramble bush is attacking me!
Dovepaw: Told you so.
Lionblaze: He probably just wants herbs or something.
Dovepaw: No! He's going to invite Jayfeather to a slumber party!
Lionblaze: This isn't funny.
Dovepaw: I didn't say it was!
Kestrelflight: AH! It's attacking me! I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die!
Lionblaze: You're out now. What do you need, Kestrelflight?
Kestrelflight: I need to talk to Jayfeather!
Dovepaw: That's what Breezepelt said yesterday when he came over here.
Kestrelflight: It's important!
Lionblaze: Fine.

Kestrelflight: Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: Um . . . Jayfeather's not here right now!
Kestrelflight: Oh, okay. Dovepaw! The voice said that Jayfeather wasn't here right now!
Dovepaw: Sigh. Jayfeather. Come out. I know where you are.
Jayfeather: I'm . . . not here!
Dovepaw: Here he is, Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: Yay! Jayfeather! Come to my slumber party, Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: How about no?
Leafpool: Oh, come on Jayfeather! It would be good for you to get out of the camp every now and then.
Jayfeather: Oh, because you do that so much.
Leafpool: It's different for me!
Jayfeather: Because you're sensitive to the sun.
Leafpool: No! I mean yes! I mean--
Firestar: Yeah, you should go, Jayfeather.
Jayfeather: But--
Kestrelflight: YAY! We're going to have so much fun! It'll be amazing!
Jayfeather: Joy.
Lionblaze: Well, have fun!
Jayfeather: But I can't go alone, Firestar. Something might attack me!
Firestar: Squirrelflight can go with you.
Squirrelflight: WHAT?
Leafpool: I'll go with him!
Jayfeather: Lionblaze wants to go.
Lionblaze: I do--
Firestar: Excellent! Lionblaze will go with you then.
Lionblaze: I hate you.
Jayfeather: Doesn't everybody?
Kestrelflight: I don't!
Jayfeather: This is going to be a long night.
Kestrelflight: It's not even sunhigh yet!


Kestrelflight: We're going to ShadowClan! We're going to ShadowClan!
Jayfeather: Will you stop singing? You're breaking my ears.
Kestrelflight: Really? They're flattening against your head like they're not broken.
Jayfeather: PLEASE, Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: Magic word of wonder!
Lionblaze: Please and thank you, they are the magic words--
Jayfeather: DO NOT SING.
Lionblaze: I know a song that never ends, never ends, never ends, I know a song that never ends--
Kestrelflight: And this is how it goes!
Jayfeather: QUIT!
Kestrelflight: Just keep walking, just keep walking, walking, walking, walking, walki--
Jayfeather: I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU!
Kestrelflight: Not if you can't catch me!
Lionblaze: Let's go hide!
Jayfeather: HEY!
Toadfoot: What are you three doing here?
Rowanclaw: SPYING!
Kestrelflight: OOH! I always wanted to be a spy! But Onestar said no. But I said but I wanted to be, and then Onestar said, Deal with it, so then I cried and then--
Toadfoot: Will you make him stop?
Jayfeather: If you find the on and off button, please tell me.
Lionblaze: We want to talk to Flametail and Littlecloud.
Rowanclaw: AHH! It's the deputy-killer! I'm going to go hide!
Lionblaze: Please. Don't start that again.
Toadfoot: Anything! Just don't eat us!
Lionblaze: Seriously?
Toadfoot: YES!
Lionblaze: Okay then. I just need Flametail out here.
Kestrelflight: Littlecloud too!
Jayfeather: No. He's too old.
Kestrelflight: But--
Toadfoot: Okay! Okay! Just stay right there.
Lionblaze: DO IT OR DIE.
Toadfoot: Doing it!
Rowanclaw: Anything you say!
Lionblaze: Oh, and get me some catmint.
Kestrelflight: CATMINT!
Jayfeather: Not for you.
Kestrelflight: Why not for me?
Jayfeather: You're hyper enough.
Kestrelflight: CATMINT!
Toadfoot: Okay. We have Flametail.
Tigerheart: Are you going to eat him?
Dawnpelt: Can I watch?
Flametail: Please don't eat me.
Lionblaze: I might eat all of you if you don't get me my catmint right away.
Rowanclaw: Here's your catmint, your . . . killingness, sir.
Lionblaze: Now run around in a circle.
Rowanclaw: *runs around in a circle*
Jayfeather: Now close your eyes and run into a tree.
Rowanclaw: I don't take orders from you!
Lionblaze: Close your eyes, all of you, and walk that way.
Toadfoot: Which way?
Lionblaze: Oh, got to go! Remember to keep your eyes closed and legs moving!


Flametail: So, if you're not going to eat me, then why did you want me?
Kestrelflight: You're going to come to my slumber party!
Flametail: YAY!
Lionblaze: I wouldn't have really eaten you, just so you know.
Flametail: Um . . . I knew that.
Jayfeather: You so did not know that.
Flametail: I did, too!
Jayfeather: Whatever.
Lionblaze: That was fun, though. *munches catmint*
Jayfeather: Share!
Lionblaze: You use your special-ness to get your own catmint!
Kestrelflight: I'm special! Do I get catmint?
Everyone else: NO.
Kestrelflight: Why not?
Flametail: Kestrelflight . . . There are some things that you just don't do in life. Giving you catmint is one of them.
Jayfeather: Wow. You are smart! No wonder Yellowfang likes you so much.
Lionblaze: I want to do that again. Can I do that to Mistystar?
Jayfeather: No. She'll let you see her anyway.
Kestrelflight: She won't let YOU see her!
Jayfeather: I'll trip you.
Kestrelflight: Not if you can't catch me! *runs into RiverClan territory*
Lionblaze: Do you think we can ditch him?
Flametail: No! We can't! This will be so fun! But it won't be fun without you two.
Jayfeather: Yeah. He'll just stalk us back to our Clans.
Lionblaze: Well, I guess so.
Kestrelflight: Where did everyone go?
Lionblaze: I'll race you there!
Jayfeather: Okay!
Lionblaze: Oh, watch out for that--
Flametail: OMSC! There is a monster coming, Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: WHAT THE--
Lionblaze: *stops car's tire* Why must I always do this?
Jayfeather: I- I - I
Lionblaze: Oh, come on.
Kestrelflight: Where are you?
Jayfeather: I'll beat you there, Lionblaze!
Flametail: I can't run as fast as you can! This isn't fair!
Jayfeather: Yes! I'm so ahead of you!
Lionblaze: Um, yeah, sure you are Jayfeather.
Flametail: But, he's going the wrong way!
Lionblaze: He'll come back eventually.
Jayfeather: Wait . . . It smells all pine-y now!
Rowanclaw: Hey! It's the deputy-killer's brother!
Tigerheart: Hey Dad! Let's get a stick and make him play fetch!
Rowanclaw: Excellent idea, son!
Jayfeather: WindClan powers! I'm going to run away now!


Kestrelflight: I found you! Do I get a prize?
Lionblaze: No, Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: Awww.
Flametail: Well, you can have this berry.
Kestrelflight: YAY! Berry !
Jayfeather: That wasn't a yew berry was it?
Flametail: NO! Gosh! You're so steriotypical! Just because I'm a ShadowClan medicine cat doesn't mean I carry deathberries around with me all the time!
Jayfeather: Oh. Just saying that that's what I would do.
Kestrelflight: It tastes all blue!
Flametail: That was a raspberry!
Lionblaze: Wow. Is this how it always is with you medicine cats?
Jayfeather: No. Most of the time their mentors keep them under control.
Kestrelflight: But Barkface--
Jayfeather: Well, except him. He . . . well, we have our own ways of handling him.
Lionblaze: Do I want to know?
Jayfeather: Not really.
Flametail: My paws are getting so muddy.
Kestrelflight: It's sticking to my FUR!
Jayfeather: Ugh. The two of you sound like Daisy and Berrynose.
Lionblaze: We're almost there. It will be all dry in the WindClan camp.
Kestrelflight: Yep!
Flametail: Well, why are we here? How many cats does it take to get a medicine cat?
Kestrelflight: Yeah . . . we're just going to walk away now.
Flametail: Cya!
Jayfeather: Wait! You can't leave us!
Kestrelflight: Why not?
Lionblaze: It's your slumber party!
Kestrelflight: Well, I delegate the position of getting Willowshine to Jayfeather and Lionblaze.
Flametail: It is now official.
Kestrelflight: Bye!
Lionblaze: Well, that's just great.
Jayfeather: We might as well get this over with.
Reedwhisker: Hi! What would you two want with our camp today?
Lionblaze: You're not even going to act hostile? We might be coming to attack the camp or something!
Reedwhisker: Jayfeather would attack the camp? Really?
Jayfeather: You're not supposed to think of that, though! I'm supposed to get irritated and remind you of that!
Reedwhisker: Well, in any case, welcome to the camp.
Lionblaze: This feels weird . . .
Jayfeather: Oh well.
Reedwhisker: So . . . You need to talk to who?
Lionblaze: Willowshine.
Reedwhisker: Right this way. No, not that way, Jayfeather.
Jayfeather: Be more specific, then!
Lionblaze: Here, this way.
Jayfeather: I don't need your help!
Reedwhisker: Just go to the herb-y-scent-y place.
Jayfeather: Oh. Why didn't you say that to begin with?
Reedwhisker: I thought that would be obvious.
Jayfeather: WELL IT WASN'T!
Lionblaze: Obviously.
Reedwhisker: This is why I didn't--
Jayfeather: Okay, we're here. Will you go away now?
Reedwhisker: Ugh. Fine.
Lionblaze: Willowshine?
Willowshine: (Maybe if I stand here really still and don't move and try not to smell like anything, Jayfeather won't know I'm here!)
Jayfeather: Willowshine, I know you're there.
Willowshine: Fine! What do you want?
Lionblaze: You have been invited to Kestrelflight's Slumber Party!
(Balloons pop out of nowhere)
Jayfeather: Was that necessary?
Lionblaze: No. But it was fun!
Willowshine: Um, no thanks.
Lionblaze: Why not?
Willowshine: Um, it's Kestrelflight's slumber party. And there will be, like, all toms there.
Jayfeather: Yeah, but we can't have mates or anything.
Willowshine: But, he's going to be there, right?
Lionblaze: I'm not like that!
Willowshine: Sure, sure.
Lionblaze: Well, if you don't come, I'LL EAT YOU!
Willowshine: Seriously?
Lionblaze: Seriously.
Jayfeather: She meant that in a sarcastic way.
Willowshine: Someone understands me!
Lionblaze: You're not scared of me?
Willowshine: Not really.
Lionblaze: Why not?
Willowshine: You aren't very frightening.
Jayfeather: But you'll come, right?
Willowshine: Why do you want me to come so badly?
Jayfeather: You're sort of sane!
Willowshine: And Kestrelflight and Flametail aren't?
(All three of them burst out laughing)
Willowshine: Well, I guess I'll come.


Jayfeather: Can you see the hill yet?
Lionblaze: There are a lot of hills on WindClan territory, Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: Can you see the camp yet?
Lionblaze: It's hidden! I can't find it anywhere!
Jayfeather: Well, keep looking!
Willowshine: I found it!
Lionblaze: Where could you have possibly found it? I've looked everywhere. I've sniffed everywhere. I've gotten my GPS and it's still not there. I--
Willowshine: There was a sign saying "Party - This Way."
Lionblaze: Oh. So that's what it meant.
Jayfeather: Seriously, Lionblaze?
Lionblaze: Is this another one of those sarcastic moments, cuz you know I don't deal with those well.
Jayfeather: Just nevermind you.
Lionblaze: Okey-dokey!
Willowshine: Are you two coming?
Both: YES!

Kestrelflight: Are they here yet?
Flametail: No.
Kestrelflight: Are they here yet?
Flametail: NO.
Kestrelflight: Are they here--
Flametail: Come look for yourself if you want to know if they're here or not!
Kestrelflight: But . . . I don't want to.
Flametail: Well, I don't want to either!
Kestrelflight: But they might get lost if one of us isn't looking for them. They might come into the camp the wrong way, and then that won't be good.
Flametail: Well, you make sure that they don't. I need a dirt-place break.
Kestrelflight: Okay! Just go right through that . . .
Flametail: Right through that what?
Kestrelflight: Oh, go anywhere. It really doesn't matter.
Flametail: Well, if you say so.
Kestrelflight: Trust me on this.
Flametail: Um, okay, but make sure they don't come in the wrong way! That would be bad.
Kestrelflight: Don't you worry! I'll make sure nothing happens.
Flametail: Um, okay then Kestrelflight!
Kestrelflight: I'm watching. I'm watching. I'm watching. Hey, look, there's a cloud that looks like a puppy!

Willowshine: I can't find the right way to get in.
Jayfeather: Hmm. Let's try this one.
Lionblaze: No, this one!
Willowshine: Does it matter?
Jayfeather: Something tells me we should go this way.
Lionblaze: Well, something tells me we should go this way.
Willowshine: I trust Lionblaze more. I mean, he can lead us through there.
Jayfeather: And I can't?
Willowshine: Well, we're going this way.
Jayfeather: Fine! I'll go this way, then!
Willowshine: No. You're coming this way.
Jayfeather: Let me guess. He'll eat me if I don't.
Lionblaze: Nope. I'll tickle you if you don't.
Jayfeather: Okay! I'll go your way!
(All of them fall into the WindClan camp from out of the sky)
Willowshine: That doesn't make any sense! This is so weird!
Flametail: Can't I have some privacy?
Lionblaze: We just fell from the sky! What, do you expect us to land properly?
Flametail: Oh. Kestrelflight let you in the wrong way, didn't he?
Willowshine: We didn't know which way was right.
Flametail: Oh. He was supposed to be watching.
Jayfeather: I could watch better than that!
Kestrelflight: OH! Flametail! I found them!
Willowshine: Wow! That's amazing, Kestrelflight! We found you, too!
Kestrelflight: It is amazing!
Lionblaze: Explain the hole in the sky thing.
Kestrelflight: Well, it happens once a month. I must have forgotten to mention it earlier.
Jayfeather: Well, thanks for mentioning this NOW!
Kestrelflight: Oh, you're welcome!


Kestrelflight: Guess what we're going to do, everyone!
Flametail: What, what, what, what?
Willowshine: Aren't we going to have a slumber party?
Kestrelflight: Yes! You get a prize, Willowshine!
Willowshine: Um . . . okay.
Kestrelflight: *spits out chewed up berries* Here you go!
Willowshine: Eww!
Kestrelflight: I'm so excited about this! It's going to be totally amazing!
Jayfeather: Please tell me it's midnight.
Lionblaze: It's just sunhigh.
Jayfeather: NO. Move, Sun, move!
(Sun: Rock, does he always do this?
Rock: Only on his good days.
Sun: Oh. No wonder you don't talk to him.
Rock: Well, I have to take time to watch my soap operas every now and then.
Sun: And no one bothers you?
Rock: Well . . .
Fallen Leaves: I finally found the way out! YAY! Wait, where'd everyone go? HELLO? Mommy?
Sun: I pity you.
Rock: I pity myself too.)
Kestrelflight: This means that we have all day to do everything! And all night! Ooh! Maybe we can stay here all quarter moon!
Flametail: That sounds fun! We can do everything!
Kestrelflight: Yeah!
Willowshine: Okay, so what do you have planned for us? *yawns*
Kestrelflight: Well, we're going to paint our claws--
Willowshine: Oh, that sounds fun!
Lionblaze: I'd rather not.
Kestrelflight: But I already made the claw polish!
Willowshine: Uh, are those deathberries?
Kestrelflight: NO! You insult me! They are mashed up deathberries.
Willowshine: That makes such a difference.
Kestrelflight: Don't I know it!
Flametail: So, what else is there?
Kestrelflight: Well, I rented a silent film!
Lionblaze: Oh! I love those!
Jayfeather: Uh . . . I don't.
Willowshine: Oh! It's the one about the cat who couldn't jump over the moon! This one always makes me cry.
Jayfeather: Don't start crying. Ugh.
Willowshine: Just thinking about it makes me want to tear up!
Jayfeather: This is going to be a long night.
Kestrelflight: That's what you said this morning!
Lionblaze: He likes to repeat things a lot.
Flametail: Do we have anything else to do?
Kestrelflight: We can play I-Spy!
Flametail: I love that game!
Jayfeather: Who helped you plan this?
Kestrelflight: That really cranky cat with the amber eyes and the messy fur and the growly voice!
Flametail: She never helped me plan my slumber party with Breezepelt, Ivypaw and Tigerheart. *cries*
Willowshine: Oh, its okay Flametail, we'll cry together.
(Both cry hysterically)
Jayfeather: STOP CRYING!
Lionblaze: For someone who depends on emotions, you are so insensitive.
(Fallen Leaves: Awww! He takes after you, Rock!
Hollyleaf: SHUT UP!
Fallen Leaves: Awww, he takes after you, too, Hollyleaf!)
Jayfeather: I have to go cry now! I HATE CRYING! *breaks down into tears*
Willowshine: Oh, its okay, we'll all cry together.
Kestrelflight: Why is everyone crying? I have ice cream!


Indecision
Kestrelflight: I'm bored. Someone think of something to do!
Willowshine: Uh, isn't this YOUR slumber party?
Kestrelflight: I thought that everyone would lick their claw polish off and then we'd all just fall asleep together. I didn't think that this would happen.
Flametail: Ooh! We can play Truth or Dare!
Lionblaze: Yeah!
Kestrelflight: No, no. Don't you know anything about slumber parties? That has to happen when it's dark outside.
Jayfeather: WILL YOU QUIT REMINDING ME THAT IT'S NOT DARK OUTSIDE?
Willowshine: Hey, Jayfeather, guess what?
Jayfeather: Kestrelflight's starting to rub off on you?
Willowshine: It's not dark outside yet!
Jayfeather: Great.
Lionblaze: Well, I have an idea.
Flametail: *gasps* What is it?
Kestrelflight: Don't make us die from suspense!
Lionblaze: I'll wait for absolute silence before I tell.
Kestrelflight: OKAY!
Flametail: We will be so silent. Did you know that silence-ness is actually apart of ShadowClan training? It's so amazing. You just sit really still and then no one knows you're there and--
Willowshine: Hey, Flametail, did they teach you what the words "absolute silence" mean in ShadowClan?
Lionblaze: I AM STILL WAITING.
Kestrelflight: Ooh. Scary voice.
Flametail: I must know what the idea is!
Kestrelflight: I'm going to go bang my head on something if I don't know!
Willowshine: Hmm . . . I like that idea, Kestrelflight! Oh . . . I know a song that never ends, never ends, never ends, I know a song that never ends and--
Jayfeather: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GUYS AND SINGING?
Willowshine: I'm a she-cat, thank you very much!
Jayfeather: Ack. You all make me want to throw something.
Kestrelflight: You can throw the claw polish!
Jayfeather: Lionblaze's idea is to play hide and seek.
Lionblaze: JAYFEATHER! Why did you have to ruin my element of surprise! That is the bestest thing that helps a warrior, you know that, right?
(Lionheart: Are you sure I wasn't reincarnated into him?
Spottedleaf: Well, I am pretty sure about that, Lionheart.
Yellowfang: That's what you said about Whitetail winning that game of poke-her yesterday.
Spottedleaf: She did win! Breezepelt cheated!
Yellowfang: Breezepelt won and you know it.
Spottedleaf: He did not!
Lionheart: Um . . . I'm going to walk away now . . .)
Flametail: No! Silence is!
Willowshine: If most of us are medicine cats, why are we having a debate about what helps a warrior the most?
Jayfeather: Because some of us don't like being medicine cats.
Flametail: Who could be like that? I WANT TO SNAP AT THEM!
Jayfeather: Well, Kestrelflight wanted to be a spy.
Flametail: GRR, KESTRELFLIGHT.
Kestrelflight: But that was my second choice.
Flametail: Oh. Okay then!
Willowshine: So . . . are we going to play hide and seek or what?
Kestrelflight: Yay! Yes! Okay, who's not it?
Jayfeather: NOT IT!
Kestrelflight: Ooh, old-fashioned way, you said it first so you're in, Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: UGH.


Hide and Seek
Jayfeather: Okay . . . how does this work?
Lionblaze: Oh, you know, Jayfeather! Remember how we used to do it?
(Jayfeather's kithood memory)
Lionkit: Jaykit! You're it!
Jaykit: Okay!
Hollykit: We're going to go hide now! You close your eyes and face that way and count to ten!
Jaykit: Wait. Face what way?
(Both run towards the nursery)
Jaykit: Umm . . . One. Two. Three. Four.
Berrypaw: Hey Jaykit!
Jaykit: Uh . . . hey, Berrypaw.
Berrypaw: Why are your eyes closed?
Jaykit: Uh, because I'm counting for hide and seek.
Berrypaw: You're not counting. You're talking to me, silly.
Jaykit: Yeah. That's why I need to be counting.
Berrypaw: Oh. Okay then. Can I go hide?
Jaykit: Don't you have something to do . . . I don't know . . . like training or something?
Berrypaw: Brambleclaw sent me here because I talk too much.
Jaykit: Great.
Berrypaw: Isn't it?
Jaykit: Not really . . .
Berrypaw: Oh. Well, I guess you could just keep counting, then.
Jaykit: I was going to do that anyway.
Berrypaw: Seriously.
Jaykit: No. Not at all. I was going to just stand here and pretend to stare at you until you shut up.
Berrypaw: Oh. So I can keep talking, then?
Jaykit: NO!
Berrypaw: Well, then--
Jaykit: Just go away!
Berrypaw: Fine then, Jayno-eyes!
Jaykit: Stupid Berrystumpytail!
Hollykit: Jaykit? Did you get lost again?
Jaykit: I have never gotten lost!
Lionkit: Yeah you have! Remember that one time when you thought that you found Squirrelflight but it was really Dustpelt and you started nuzzling him and then--
Jaykit: OKAY! I get it! I have gotten lost before!
Hollykit: We're going to go hide again!
Jaykit: Okay. I'll be counting.
Lionkit: CLOSE YOUR EYES!
Jaykit: WHY MUST I CLOSE MY EYES?
Hollykit: Because those are the rules, silly!
Jaykit: Will everyone stop calling me 'silly'?
Hollykit: Silly. Silly. Silly slug.
Jaykit: QUIT THAT!
Lionkit: Okay, we're going to go hide now!
Jaykit: You do that.
Lionkit: I am doing that.
Jaykit: Do you not understand sarcasm?
Lionkit: What's that?
Jaykit: UGH.
Hollykit: I can't hear you counting!
Jaykit: Ugh. One. Ugh. Two. Ugh. Three. Ugh. Four. Ugh. Five. Ugh. Six. Ugh. Seven. Ugh. Eight. Ugh. Ni--
Leafpool: Jaykit! What are you doing?
Jaykit: Uhh, counting.
Leafpool: NO! Counting is too dangerous for you!
Jaykit: I'm counting! For Hide and Seek!
Leafpool: That's even worse! Oh no. You're going inside the medicine den. You'll have to stay there for . . . a moon. Yes. No more games for you!
Jaykit: BUT--
(Back to WindClan!)
Jayfeather: Uh. Yeah. No.
Lionblaze: I won!
Jayfeather: I never got a chance to go find you!
Lionblaze: Because you got lost in Leafpool's den.
Jayfeather: I DID NOT GET LOST IN LEAFPOOL'S DEN.
Lionblaze: You totally did.
Jayfeather: What do you know?
Lionblaze: More than you do!
Willowshine: Will you two quit it?
Kestrelflight: I want to play NOW!
Flametail: Well, the world doesn't revolve around you!
Kestrelflight: It doesn't?
Flametail: No. It doesn't.
Kestrelflight: Really? Really and truly?
Flametail: Yes. Really and truly.
Kestrelflight: NO!
Willowshine: You seriously thought that the stars and moon and sun and world all revolved around you?
Kestrelflight: They don't?
Willowshine: Wow.
Lionblaze: OOH! They revolve around me and Jayfeather! Isn't that right?
Jayfeather: We must have a talk sometime.
Willowshine: Let's follow them!
Jayfeather: Kestrelflight is definitely rubbing off on you.


Hide and Seek Part Two
Kestrelflight: Okay, so count to ten!
Flametail: I'm going to go hide!
Willowshine: Where are we going to hide on the open moorland?
Kestrelflight: Um . . . Good question!
Jayfeather: ONE.
Flametail: RUN!
(Everyone runs away)
Jayfeather: *falls asleep*

Jayfeather: DOVEPAW!
Dovepaw: *staring at Tigerheart poster wide-eyed, she turns around and growls* WHAT?
Jayfeather: I need your help.
Dovepaw: Why would I help you?
Jayfeather: Because you can tell Ivypaw if you do.
Dovepaw: Jayfeather, I am so over her now.
Jayfeather: Well, you can run away and be with Tigerheart if you help me.
Dovepaw: Okay then!
Jayfeather: I need you to find all the medicine cats for me.
Dovepaw: Does that involve moving?
Jayfeather: Uh, yeah.
Dovepaw: I don't want to, though!
Jayfeather: What are you doing, taking a nap in the middle of the day, anyway?
Dovepaw: Lionblaze said I had to sit out all night, so I'm sleeping now.
Jayfeather: Uh, okay.
Dovepaw: So . . . How do I get to WindClan camp?
Jayfeather: Seriously?
Dovepaw: Oh. Right. I know already.
Jayfeather: No duh.
Dovepaw: Okay, I'll be coming, then!
Jayfeather: Oh. One more thing.
Dovepaw: What?
Jayfeather: Go in the second entrance.
Dovepaw: Uh, okay . . .

Willowshine: Is he coming?
Lionblaze: I don't know!
Kestrelflight: Is it past ten seconds yet?
Flametail: Wouldn't you be able to know that, Kestrelflight?
Kestrelflight: Counting is for spies!
Flametail: But--
Willowshine: Will you all be quiet? He'll hear us if you keep making that noise!
Lionblaze: This is boring.
Kestrelflight: This isn't boring! It's fun!
Flametail: It's almost funner than preparing bodies for burial!
Willowshine: That's fun?
Flametail: Of course it's fun!
Kestrelflight: Um . . . yeah. It is. With all the gooey stuff and this stuff and that stuff and—

Flametail: You don't have to use that much stuff, Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: But I like to. It's like playing dress-up dead cat!
Lionblaze: Why are we having this conversation?
Willowshine: I was about to ask the same thing. *blinks at Lionblaze, trying to flirt*
Lionblaze: Cinderheart's not going to like this.
Flametail: Neither will Icecloud!
Lionblaze: Icecloud? Huh?
Flametail: She comes over and tells me all of her problems, all of the time.
Lionblaze: Uh, okay then. So what did she say about me?
Flametail: Well, she thinks that you're a worthless, stupid backstabber!
Lionblaze: That's nice.
Flametail: Isn't it?
Willowshine: SHUT UP EVERYONE!
(Awkward silence)
Kestrelflight: What was that for?
Flametail: Kestrelflight! You broke the awkward silence!
Willowshine: I can see a gray cat coming this way!
Dovepaw: Lalalala.
Lionblaze: I TOLD HER TO SIT DOWN AND DO NOTHING!
Dovepaw: Lalalala. Tigerheart, lalalala. Tigerheart, lalala. Tigerheart, Tigerheart, Tigerheart . . .
Flametail: I miss Tigerheart. He was always so nice to me, like when he got that really deep cut from when he was sleeping and the thorn of wonder cut him, and he said, "HEAL IT YOU STUPID, USELESS MEDICINE CAT!" Oh, I miss Tigerheart so much!
Dovepaw: WHO MISSES TIGERHEART?
Kestrelflight: FLAMETAIL DOES!
Dovepaw: STAY AWAY FROM MY TIGERHEART!
Flametail: You're not going to eat me, are you?
Dovepaw: No. Why would I do that?
Flametail: You ThunderClan cats have this thing about eating cats.
Lionblaze: I was joking, remember?
Dovepaw: Ooh, you were abusing your powers, I'm going to go tell Jayfeather.
Lionblaze: Jayfeather wanted me to do it.
Dovepaw: Ooh, I'm going to go tell Firestar! *runs back to ThunderClan*
Lionblaze: Sigh.
Willowshine: Why was she even here to begin with?
Kestrelflight: SHE WAS TRESPASSING!
Willowshine: Delayed reaction . . .
Jayfeather: DOVEPAW? You were just here a second ago . . .
Lionblaze: He was going to use her! I have to tell Firestar!
Kestrelflight: But she's just an apprentice!
Lionblaze: But she's not! She has these weird powers and--
Jayfeather: LIONBLAZE! You were about to tell! I'm going to tell myself!
Willowshine: I don't think he knows we're here yet!
Jayfeather: Willowshine, I found you!
Willowshine: But you just found Lionblaze!
Jayfeather: No. I was yelling at Lionblaze. I found you.
Willowshine: Well, I give up! Let's do something different now.


Random Calls
Willowshine: Okay. I'm sleeping in here tonight.
Kestrelflight: In Onestar's den?
Willowshine: No. It's my den tonight.
Kestrelflight: But it's Onestar's den.
Flametail: But it's Willowshine's den tonight, Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: IT IS ONESTAR'S DEN!
Jayfeather: Do I have to explain this to you? We know that it's Onestar's den, but Willowshine will be sleeping here tonight.
Kestrelflight: IT IS ONESTAR'S DEN!
Lionblaze: I want to squeeze you, Kestrelflight! You have no idea how much I want to!
Jayfeather: I do. I completely and fully support that notion.
Kestrelflight: I like being squeezed!
Willowshine: So I can sleep here tonight?
Kestrelflight: ONESTAR'S DEN!
Flametail: Obviously, you cannot sleep here tonight, Willowshine.
Willowshine: So I have to sleep with all of YOU?
Lionblaze: I thought you liked me!
Willowshine: Oh, I do. But that would be really awkward, so I'm going to avoid it altogether. I'm not used to sleeping next to anyone except Mothwing.
Jayfeather: Good idea. We wouldn't want to give Breezepelt even MORE reasons to hate us!
Willowshine: What?
Jayfeather: Ugh, nevermind.
Flametail: So, where are we all going to sleep, then? Your den isn't that big.
Kestrelflight: We sleep in the grass, silly!
Jayfeather: Yes, it wasn't me being called silly this time.
Willowshine: Don't be silly, Jayfeather, I was just about to say, 'silly you!"
Jayfeather: Great.
Flametail: Isn't it?
Jayfeather: We are so predictable.
(Rock: Tell me about it. You all make a horrible soap opera!
Heathertail: Okay! We finally made it everyone!
Fallen Leaves: Yay! The new episode is on!
Hollyleaf: Rock, is it going to rain anytime soon?
Rock: No.
Fallen Leaves: Why would you ask that?
Hollyleaf: Oh, I'm just bored. Wouldn't it be hilarious if it started to rain on WindClan in the tunnels?
Fallen Leaves: You're so cruel!)
Kestrelflight: We all love repeating things!
Lionblaze: That's what I'm supposed to say!
Willowshine: I don't like sleeping out in the open. Besides, it's too dry here.
Flametail: I feel so vulnerable without all the pine trees!
Jayfeather: Will you all quit making such a fuss? It's not like we're sleeping in a bunch of wet reeds or anything.
Willowshine: Good point-- I mean, hey! I take that offensively!
Jayfeather: Yay. I achieved something monumental today.
Flametail: Yay! You get a party hat! *straps party hat on Jayfeather's head*
Jayfeather: Get this thing off me!
Willowshine: OOH! Come look at what I found in Onestar's den!
Kestrelflight: Onestar's den! No!
Willowshine: Ooh, it's a telephone!
Jayfeather: No one's going to start singing a song now?
Lionblaze: Really? You think we're that low?
Jayfeather: I know you're that low.
Lionblaze: You make me want to do this! *grabs top of party hat and drops it down on Jayfeather's head*
Jayfeather: OWW!
Flametail: I know how to use one of those! Dawnpelt and Ivytail do it all the time.
Kestrelflight: Onestar's phone! Don't touch!
Willowshine: Hey, Kestrelflight, why don't you go get us all some more ice cream?
Kestrelflight: Okay! *runs away*
Jayfeather: Apparently it's a phone.
Flametail: Yay! A phone!
Lionblaze: What do we do with it?
Jayfeather: We tell it to allow us to talk to another Clan, and it lets us.
Lionblaze: OOH! I want to talk to Heathertail!
Willowshine: I'm offended again! You stupid halfClan brothers!
Jayfeather: I love you too, Willowshine.
Kestrelflight: I knew it!
Jayfeather: Aren't you supposed to be getting ice cream?
Kestrelflight: Oh. Right. Bye!
Jayfeather: That was sarcasm, by the way.
Lionblaze: Quit using that stuff! It hurts my brain!
Heathertail: Hello? Who is this? Heatherstar speaking.
Lionblaze: HEATHERTAIL!
Heathertail: Ahem?
Lionblaze: I miss you and I'm sorry that I tried to kill you and everything when I tried to get the catmint but I couldn't help it and I love you and I hope it doesn't rain and I'm in your camp and everything smells all rabbit-y and I love you and--
Willowshine: You're running up the phone bill, Lionblaze!
Heathertail: You refuse to address me as Heatherstar! *hangs up*
Lionblaze: NO! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP THIS!
Jayfeather: You tried to kill her?
Lionblaze: Oh . . . long story . . . um . . .
Flametail: I want to call someone!
Willowshine: Okay. I trust that you'll be responsible.
Flametail: KESTRELFLIGHT!
Kestrelflight: Hi! Hi! I'm Kestrelflight and this is?
Flametail: Flametail! I want an extra chocolate-y double scoop!
Kestrelflight: Ooh, sorry, I already ordered vanilla for you.
Flametail: NO! I COMMAND YOU NOT TO! GET ME A DOUBLE SCOOP!
Kestrelflight: Sorry, I ran out of money.
Flametail: NO!
Willowshine: *hangs up phone*
Flametail: Stupid other Clan medicine cats.
Lionblaze: I know. So ignorant.
Willowshine: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!
Jayfeather: I want to use the phone.
Willowshine: Well, here you go.
Jayfeather: STICK!
Stick: Float. Float. OWW. Float.
Jayfeather: Stick, I miss you, and I'm sorry that I broke you and I'm sorry and I'm sorry about Dovepaw and Ivypaw, thank you for putting a thorn in them and everything and I'm sorry and--
Willowshine: You sound like a kit.
Jayfeather: I'M HAVING A CONVERSATION HERE!
Stick: Float.
Jayfeather: And please come home soon! I miss you! I already have all of the duct tape to put you back together and everything and--
Lionblaze: *hangs up phone*
Jayfeather: I can't believe you sometimes!
Lionblaze: You're so pathetic at times.
Jayfeather: I don't have dreams about killing the thing I love!
Lionblaze: No. You actually did it.
Jayfeather: Just be quiet!
Flametail: Why don't we try prank calls now?
Willowshine: Nah.
Jayfeather: Oh, that might be fun!
Lionblaze: But you don't believe in fun.
Jayfeather: Prank calls are fun.
Willowshine: This is weird.
Kestrelflight: I have ice cream!
Flametail: I DON'T SEE CHOCOLATE!
Jayfeather: Oh, that's ironic, neither do I.
Willowshine: Will you just not mention that for just one hour?


Kestrelflight: That ice cream was good, wasn't it?
Willowshine: Yes, it really was. Good job, Kestrelflight! You did something right~
Kestrelflight: What's my prize?
Willowshine: Must you always have a prize?
Kestrelflight: YES!
Jayfeather: A party hat!
Kestrelflight: YAY!
Jayfeather: *Plops party hat on Kestrelflight's head*
Kestrelflight: Ya--Ow.
Flametail: Jayfeather - you mean you didn't like my present to you? NO!
Lionblaze: I really liked that cherry on the top of mine!
Kestrelflight: Oh, that wasn't a cherry!
Lionblaze: Huh?
Kestrelflight: That was a deathberry! Easily confusable.
Lionblaze: Huh?
Jayfeather: *flicks Lionblaze's tail* Did you feel that on your paw?
Willowshine: That was his tail . . .
Jayfeather: It was a trick question!
Willowshine: Sure it was . . .
Jayfeather: Quit with the three dots!
Lionblaze: I didn't feel anything. Oww. That hurts.
Flametail: I'll go get the yarrow! *runs to medicine den*
Kestrelflight: MY DEN! *runs after*
Lionblaze: Is this what battle feels like to every cat?
Willowshine: Aren't you a warrior? Wouldn't you know that?
Jayfeather: He's a cowardly warrior. He runs away from battles.
Willowshine: OH. To think I liked you like that!
Lionblaze: I'm not cowardly!
Jayfeather: Sure you aren't, Lionblaze.
Lionblaze: I'm not!
Willowshine: He's so cute when he's trying to prove something!
Jayfeather: Tell me about it.
Willowshine: You're so grumpy when you're grumpy!
Jayfeather: So I've heard.
Flametail: I WON! I captured the yarrow!
Kestrelflight: But I get to shove it in Lionblaze's mouth! *shoves in Lionblaze's mouth*
Lionblaze: Wiw wiw--
Flametail: Be quiet and chew!
Lionblaze: Oh. That's better!
Willowshine: Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: WHAT?
Wilowshine: You are not allowed to touch deathberries. Ever. Again.
Kestrelflight: *touches bowl of deathberries*
Willowshine: I said not to!
Jayfeather: You seriously thought he would listen?
Willowshine: Well, I hoped.
Lionblaze: So . . . how about those prank calls?

Breezepelt: Anyone hungry?
Sedgewhisker: Not really.
Heathertail: I am!
Onestar: No one cares!
Heathertail: Don't make me zap you with my leadership powers of destruction.
Onestar: *tries to zap Heathertail with leadership powers of destruction* No! It's not working!
Heathertail: *zaps* You forfeited it to me! Muahahaha!
Breezepelt: Hey, this is just like all of my most horrible dreams!
Sedgewhisker: Good to know . . . *slides away from*
Heathertail: Aww, you dream about me?
Breezepelt: No, I just hear that laughter a lot!
Heathertail: Is anyone going to order my dinner?
Crowfeather: You do it!
Heathertail: No. I must sit here, as a leader does.
Onestar: Is that seriously all that I do?
Everyone: YES!
Breezepelt: Fine. I'll go order it.
Sedgewhisker: Get me mushrooms on my pizza!
Breezepelt: I was going to order ice cream!
Heathertail: No. I want pizza.
Breezepelt: Fine.
Sedgewhisker: MUSHROOMS!
Heathertail: Didn't you not want pizza?
Sedgewhisker: I was JOKING!
Heathertail: Haha, not funny.
Sedgewhisker: Don't make me come and bite your tail!
Heathertail: *zaps*
Sedgewhisker: Ahh! *falls down*
Heathertail: Much better!
Breezepelt: So, I would like eight pizzas with extra mushroom. No thank you. No, I didn't mean no, thank you, as in I don't want the discount. I meant no thank you as in I shall not give you a token of my gratitude! *hangs up*
Heathertail: LIONCLAW! Quit being so vicious!
Breezepelt: I'll try.
Phone: The phone is ringing. The phone is ringing. RING RING RING! RIIIIIIING!
Crowfeather: What is that annoying sound?
Sedgewhisker: I think that the phone is trying to tell us something.
Heathertail: SILENCE!
Phone: The phone is ringing. Pick me up NOW!
Heathertail: Lionclaw, pick it up!
Breezepelt: As deputy, I delegate the picking up of the phone to our newest warrior, Onewhisker.
Onestar: PICK UP THE PHONE, BREEZEPELT.
Breezepelt: Fine. *picks up phone* Hello?
Flametail: Did you order pizza?
Breezepelt: Uh, yeah. I did.
Flametail: Oh. Nevermind. This isn't going to work guys!
Willowshine: *in the background* I'm a she-cat!
Breezepelt: Weirdo. *hangs up*
Heathertail: I need a new receptionist.


Willowshine: Hey, Kestrelflight, do you have any fish?
Kestrelflight: FISH? What are these things you speak of?
Jayfeather: If you bring a fish in here, I'm going to--
Willowshine: Let me guess. You're going to bite my tail-- no, you're joking, you mean you're going to bite my paw.
Jayfeather: No. I'm going to get Honeyfern to come and bite your nose and your paw.
(Spottedleaf: Honeyfern! Special request!
Honeyfern: I did this last time! It's Feathertail's turn!
Feathertail: I just got back from the mountains! I need to rest!
Yellowfang: You've been resting for a MOON!
Feathertail: The Stonetellers really tire you out! I don't care how many kits they had! But no, I have to be too nice to say anything!
Spottedleaf: Oh, you silly, naive, sweet cats.
Tigerstar: STUPID INNOCENCE.
Yellowfang: Tell me about it.
Longtail: Something's wrong with this picture.
Bluestar: We're going to have to schedule you an eye appointment, Longtail.)
Willowshine: Great.
Lionblaze: I want a rabbit! No one in ThunderClan understands my sudden longing to have a rabbit!
Jayfeather: Seriously, Lionblaze?
Lionblaze: Of course!
Jayfeather: No, I mean, seriously, Lionblaze, you didn't know about my secret stash in the back of the medicine store?
Lionblaze: SERIOUSLY?
Jayfeather: Well, yeah. A half-WindClan cat has to find some way to avoid starving.
Lionblaze: I can see the light!
Jayfeather: Don't brag.
Flametail: But it's a new moon tonight. There is no light!
Willowshine: It's just an expression, Flametail.
Kestrelflight: Hey, you guys, you're not going to believe this!
Jayfeather: You're moving away to sun-drown place?
Kestrelflight: I made a reservation for the most amazing restaurant in the territories!
Willowshine: The Splash Lagoon?
Kestrelflight: NO! The Secret.
Jayfeather: Is this another one of those LeafxCrow jokes?
Kestrelflight: NO! It's a restaurant that serves mice, rabbits, and fish!
Lionblaze: Ah, so it is a LeafxCrow joke.
Kestrelflight: NO! It's just a restaurant!
Flametail: Isn't that all the way in the middle of the lake?
Willowshine: There's something in the middle of the lake?
Kestrelflight: Well, yeah!
Flametail: You haven't heard of it?
Jayfeather: None of the sane cats have!
(Kestrelflight and Flametail burst out laughing)
Kestrelflight: You're SANE?
Flametail: Is this another inside joke?


Kestrelflight: Okay everyone, the water taxi is here!
Flametail: OKAY! I call the front seat!
Kestrelflight: Is everyone ready to go?
Lionblaze: I found suits!
Kestrelflight: You mean you found my extra suits?
Lionblaze: No. I found the ones that I brought with me!
Willowshine: Oh, Lionblaze . . . You look amazing that suit.
Lionblaze: Uh . . . you look like a she-cat in that dress, Willowshine.
Willowshine: Oh, thank you!
Jayfeather: Do I have to wear this?
Flametail: You look so adorable!
Jayfeather: You sound as annoying as ever, Flametail.
Flametail: Oh, thank you!
Kestrelflight: All you had to do was brush your fur . . . but whatever.
Water Taxi Dude: Are you guys coming?
Willowshine: Uh, she-cat!
Water Taxi Dude: Right . . .
Flametail: My front seat!
Jayfeather: Lionblaze, get out of that seat!
Lionblaze: Why?
Jayfeather: I want a seat with a view.
Lionblaze: Here's a seat with a good view. *leads to seat in closet*
Jayfeather: Oh, I love this seat! Thanks, Lionblaze!
Lionblaze: Any time. *shuts door*
Willowshine: Lionblaze, will you sit with me?
Lionblaze: Uhh, no.
Willowshine: Why not?
Lionblaze: She-cats on that side, toms on this time.
Willowshine: Oh. *looks down at dress*
Lionblaze: Dramatic little things you RiverClan cats are.
Kestrelflight: OOH! I want to drive!
Water Taxi Dude: Do you have a license?
Kestrelflight: What's that?
Water Taxi Dude: Oh, well, you can drive anyway.
Kestrelflight: YAY! *runs into RiverClan camp*
Mistystar: We have visitors!
RiverClan: Welcome to our camp!
Lionblaze: And Breezepelt called us weirdos . . .
Flametail: I'm still upset about that!
Jayfeather: What's wrong with everyone's voices? It's all muffled. What's happening?
Willowshine: Lionblaze! You put your brother in a closet?
Lionblaze: He wanted a seat with a view.
Willowshine: Sigh. *leads Jayfeather to the she-cat side*
Jayfeather: I said I wanted a seat with a view!
Willowshine: Deal with it.
Jayfeather: NO! I won't! I--
Water Taxi Dude: Okay, we're going where again?
Kestrelflight: The Secret!
Lionblaze: You really need to get a new joke book.
Water Taxi Dude: Okay then, so why are we in this camp?
Flametail: It's too fishy here!
Water Taxi Dude: *shoves Kestrelflight away into a black bucket and drives to The Secret*
Kestrelflight: Wow. That was quick.
Jayfeather: Times flies when you can't see anything.
Kestrelflight: I knew this flying bird name thing would come in handy someday!


Kestrelflight: YAY! We made it here alive!
Flametail: I always wanted to come here!
Willowshine: Stupid sane cats.
Lionblaze: What do they have to eat here?
Kestrelflight: Everything!
Flametail: *looks at Kestrelflight with rainbows in his eyes* Everything?
Kestrelflight: No. Just rabbits and fish and mice.
Flametail: *slaps Kestrelflight with a fish*
Kestrelflight: OWW! GET THE FISH OFF ME!
Willowshine: Hey! That's mine! *eats fish*
Jayfeather: Are we going to stand outside here talking about this place and eating fish that's been on Kestrelflight's downy head all night or are we going to go and eat?
Willowshine: Eww, you're right, it has been on Kestrelflight's downy head! *spits out fish*
Flametail: It's not even evening yet, Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: UGH.
Kestrelflight: Well, we made reservations! Come on!
(They all go inside the fancy restaurant)
Brightheart: Hello. Have you made a reservation?
Kestrelflight: Uhh, I can't remember.
Brightheart: Well, we do have the lower-class restaurant next door. *points to generic fast-food restaurant*
Willowshine: NO! We made reservations!
Brightheart: Who made the reservations?
Willowshine: He did! Kestrelflight!
Kestrelflight: I did what?
Willowshine: *slaps with fish*
Kestrelflight: EWW! FISH!
Brightheart: I'm afraid that we don't have you on the list.
Lionblaze: How could you be afraid? You're not quivering with fear.
Brightheart: *blink*
Flametail: It looks so funny when you blink, because it's only one eye and it looks like you're winking and--
Brightheart: No Kestrelflight is on this list. All I have is "Mr. Fluffball Sr".
Jayfeather: *slaps Kestrelflight with party hat*
Kestrelflight: What was that for?
Jayfeather: Make it under your own name next time!
Kestrelflight: I did! Wait . . . why are we here, again?
Willowshine: Fine! We'll go to the generic fast-food restraunt! But we're taking our dignity with us! *huffs and walks out the door*
Lionblaze: Did anyone else notice that she left her dress on the water taxi?
Jayfeather: I noticed.
Flametail: So did I!
Jayfeather: Liar.
Flametail: It's part of ShadowClan training!

Ivypaw: Ugh. What do you things want?
Lionblaze: Ivypaw? I didn't know you worked here.
Ivypaw: Well, Dovepaw's being paid by Firestar now for who-knows-what--
Lionblaze: I know what!
Ivypaw: I'M TALKING!
Lionblaze: Oh. Sorry.
Ivypaw: Apology not accepted. Anyway, so I need to make more money than her. So now I work here.
Flametail: That's a nice story!
Lionblaze: She's getting paid? I'm calling my agent! *pulls out phone*
Jayfeather: *phone starts ringing and he picks it up* Hello?
Lionblaze: Dovepaw's being paid more than me! *pouts*
Jayfeather: Deal with it. *hangs up*
Ivypaw: Yeah. Sure. Whatever. What do you want?
Willowshine: I would like your fish filet on wheat with sweet and sour sauce with extra reeds and--
Ivypaw: I have a fish.
Willowshine: I'll take that, I guess.
Ivypaw: *throws fish on Kestrelflight's head*
Kestrelflight: AHH! SLIMY THING!
Jayfeather: AHH! SNAKE!
Willowshine: It's a fish! Eww! And it's been on Kestrelflight!
Jayfeather: A fish? Even worse!
Ivypaw: Anyone else?
Kestrelflight: OOH! I want catmint!
Lionblaze: NO! NOT CATMINT! NOT FOR HIM!
Ivypaw: Catmint is only purchasable before sun-high. I would say that I was sorry, but I'm not.
Kestrelflight: Umm . . . can I have a squirrel?
Ivypaw: We only have mice and fish and rabbits.
Kestrelflight: Fine! I won't eat anything!
Ivypaw: Whatever.
Kestrelflight: *runs over to Willowshine's table* SHARE YOUR FISH!
Flametail: Doesn't he hate fish?
Jayfeather: Oh well. It's fun to listen to.
Ivypaw: Is someone going to order or what?
Flametail: WHAT!?
Lionblaze: I WANT A RABBIT!
Ivypaw: *gives rabbit*
Lionblaze: YAY!
Jayfeather: I'll have what he had.
Ivypaw: *gives rabbit*
Jayfeather: It's not cooked well enough.
Ivypaw: Deal with it.
Flametail: Can I have a mouse?
Ivypaw: Sure. *gives mouse*
Flametail: YAY!

Willowshine: Well, THAT worked out well!
Lionblaze: What are you talking about? That was horrible!
Jayfeather: That rabbit was not cooked properly.
Kestrelflight: Fish is delicious!
Flametail: Ivypaw's prettiful.
Jayfeather: YAY! Breezepelt can hate you now?
Lionblaze: Oh, I get it! That was sarcasm! You love Breezepelt hating you, Jayfeather!
Jayfeather: . . . Yeah, that's it, Lionblaze.
Lionblaze: I can't wait to tell Leafpool that I understand sarcasm now! She'll be so proud!
Kestrelflight: WELL, since there's still daylight out--
Jayfeather: *groans*
Kestrelflight: We can play Clan!
Willowshine: Uh, what's that?
Kestrelflight: You know, like we choose a Clan leader and everything. And a deputy, and medicine cat, and queen and kit. It'll be fun!
Willowshine: Well, okay . . .

Kestrelflight: C'mon Jaykit!
Jayfeather: Why am I the kit again?
Kestrelflight: Because you haven't opened your eyes yet, silly!
Jayfeather: *blinks*
Kestrelflight: Now, c'mon, we've got to go take you to the medicine cat!
Lionblaze: Lalalala, what does this do? *sniffs leaf and leaf explodes* AHH!
Kestrelflight: Lionblaze! Look who I brought!
Linblaze: Uh, I'm Lionfeather now.
Jayfeather: LionFEATHER? Where did that come from?
Lionblaze: Well, you know how the names are for medicine cats. All bird-y and stuff. And, you know, I thought the -feather thing was really creative of me.
Jayfeather: Uh, yeah . . .
Lionblaze: So, Kestrelflight--
Kestrelflight: I'm KestrelFLOWER!
Lionblaze: Um, okay. So what's the problem?
Kestrelflight: Well, Jaykit here can't see anything.
Lionblaze: OOOH! I always wanted to squeeze berries in kit's eyes!
Jayfeather: WHAA?
Kestrelflight: I'll hold him down, and you can spray it in.
Lionblaze: That works for me!
Jayfeather: HELP ME! SOMEONE! HONEYFERN!
(Honeyfern: Not this time. *flips page of magazine*)
Jayfeather: AHH!
Willowshine: Hey-- Lionblaze!
Lionblaze: LIONFEATHER, EXCUSE YOU!
Willowshine: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR ONLY KIT?
Lionblaze: I had a kit with you?
Willowshine: Yeah. We gave it to Kestrelflower to raise.
Kestrelflight: Yay! You got MY name right!
Jayfeather: Must I always come from some form of a forbidden relationship?
Willowshine: Where would the fun be if you didn't?
Jayfeather: EVERYWHERE!
Willowshine: Well, anyway, I just called a Clan meeting.
Jayfeather: Joy.
Willowshine: No, you can't come. You're too little.
Jayfeather: What is your problem?
Kestrelflight: YAY! You stay here, Jaykit, but don't get your paws all messy! Don't touch the herbs! Don't do anything!
Jayfeather: I'll try to restrain from eating something bad from me.
Kestrelflight: Oh, but eat these berries! *slides yew closer to*
Jayfeather: Uhh, no thanks. As in no token of--
Willowshine: MEETING!
Kestrelflight: EAT YOUR BERRIES! *goes out of den*
Lionblaze: Well, talk to you later, Jaykit!
Jayfeather: This is so ridiculous.
Willowshine: So, everyone, we have caught ShadowClan trespassing in our territory.
Flametail: This is so wrong! We need to go POUND them!
WIllowshine: Calm down, Flameheart.
Flametail: GRR. I mean, I'll try, Willowstar.

Willowshine: ShadowClan has offered to give us brownies, though!
Flametail: Yay! I love them now!
Lionblaze: I’m allergic to brownies.
Kestrelflight: YOU WILL EAT THE BROWNIES OR ELSE.
Lionblaze: I'll die if I eat them.
Kestrelflight: What’s die?
Lionblaze: Forget it.
Willowshine: We are giving in to an alliance with them.
Kestrelflight: We don't even need the traditional cookies to join their side?
Willowshine: Of course not. We're not that shallow.
Flametail: We're not?
Willowshine: No, Flameheart. We're not.
Flametail: Then it's no fun being your deputy!
Willowshine: Oh well. That's your problem.
Flametail: *sulks*
Willowshine: I would like to make our only kit an apprentice.
Kestrelflight: WHAT? This means I have to move out of the nursery?
Willowshine: Of course not, dear Kestrelflower. You will just have to read Daisy's instruction manual for being a lazy queen.
Kestrelflight: But I'm too lazy to read it!
Willowshine: Then you will be a warrior.
Kestrelflight: Can I be a spy?
Willowshine: No.
Kestrelflight: NO!
Willowshine: I now call Jaykit forward.
(Silence)
Lionblaze: Oh, we left him in the medicine den.
Flametail: Oh no! You can't leave kits in the medicine den! They get into everything and they eat stuff and then they DIE!
Kestrelflight: NO! NOT MY KIT!
Willowshine: My kit, you mean.
Kestrelflight: MY KIT!
Jayfeather: Will everyone quit fighting over me?
Kestrelflight: JAYKIT! YOU'RE ALIVE!
Jayfeather: It's amazing.
Kestrelflight: IT SURE IS!
Willowshine: Well, I never paid attention to the ceremony words and stuff, so BOOM, now you're an apprentice to Flameheart!
Flametail: YAY! I get an apprentice! I've never had one of those before!
Jayfeather: Uh, if you're deputy, don't you need an apprentice first?
Flametail: Um . . . no?
Lionblaze: Quit being a Hollyleaf, Jaykit!
Kestrelflight: OH NO!
Willowshine: What now, Kestrelflower?
Kestrelflight: I broke a claw!
Lionblaze: I know how to fix that! I found some leftover claw polish!
Kestrelflight: OH! The cat who made that stuff is a genius!
Jayfeather: I bet he's a stupid cat.
Willowshine: Jaypaw! Be respectful! You now have to be silent, because you're an apprentice!
Jayfeather: Yeah, this will work well.
Willowshine: SILENCE!
Jayfeather: *zaps with powerful powers of stars-ness*
Willowshine: OWW!
Lionblaze: Oh, I haven't tried that yet! *zaps Willowshine with powerful powers of star-ness*
Willowshine: Lionfeather!! Quit that!
Kestrelflight: OOH!
Willowshine: What now, Kestrelflower?
Kestrelflight: It's evening now! Truth or Dare!

Jayfeather: What is this?
Kestrelflight: Truth or Dare!
Flametail: You pick someone and you ask them, "Truth or Dare?" and then they tell you which and you ask them a question or you give them a dare. It's fun!
Lionblaze: Who goes first?
Flametail: Eeny, Meeny, Minie, Moe. Umm . . . *spins around in a circle* ME!
Willowshine: That's not fair.
Flametail: Oh well! I choose you, though, Willowshine! Truth or dare?
Willowshine: I'm scared for either one.
Flametail: Hehehe.
Willowshine: Um . . . I'd feel a lot better about this if only there was more light here. I can't see anything!
Lionblaze: What happened to the starlight?
Kestrelflight: Maybe something turned it off!
Flametail: Nuh-uh! Nothing could be powerful enough to do that!
Lionblaze: *stares at Jayfeather*
Jayfeather: Quit looking at me like that! I didn't do it!
(Dovepaw: [I wonder if anyone's noticed it yet! This being silent thing is fun when you can mess with the stars and everything!])
Lionblaze: That's weird.
Flametail: So, what are you going to choose, Willowshine?
Willowshine: I'll take a dare.
Flametail: I dare YOU to lick Kestrelflight's paw.
Kestrelflight: Don't touch my paw! *hides paw*
Jayfeather: There's no need for that. No one can see your paw anyway.
Kestrelflight: How would you know I did that to begin with?
Jayfeather: Uhh, it's Willowshine's dare, isn't it?
Willowshine: I have no idea where that paw has been. No one has any idea. This is beyond disgusting. I refuse to do this. I--
Kestrelflight: *shoves paw into Willowshine's mouth and giggles uncontrollably*
Willowshine: *spits out Kestrelflight's paw* EWW!
Flametail: There is no proof that you did that!
Kestrelflight: *puts paws on Flametail's head*
Flametail: Eww, I believe you now.
Lionblaze: My turn!
Kestrelflight: No, it's my turn.
Lionblaze: How is it your turn?
Kestrelflight: Because it's my slumber party.
Lionblaze: Grr . . . But I guess so.
Kestrelflight: Jayfeather, truth or dare?
Jayfeather: Uhh . . . dare?
Kestrelflight: Too bad, you get truth anyway!
Jayfeather: Great . . .
Kestrelflight: So, how did you know that my paw did that hiding thing?
Jayfeather: I could hear it move.
Kestrelflight: But it was all dark out! How would you know?
Jayfeather: Because I'm used to it!
Kestrelflight: How? Ohh . . .
Flametail: He doesn't even run into trees!
Kestrelflight: Um, okay then . . .
Jayfeather: Since you called on me, it should be my turn now.
Kestrelflight: Okay!
Lionblaze: No, it was supposed to be my turn!

Jayfeather: Well, it can be your turn after me because I'm going to ask you, "Truth or dare?"
Lionblaze: Okay, so when are you going to ask it?
Jayfeather: Sigh. Lionblaze, truth or dare?
Lionblaze: Dare! I can take anything!
Flametail: *has rainbows in eyes again* Anything?
Lionblaze: *nods vigerously* Anything.
Jayfeather: Well then . . . I'll do this on one condition.
Lionblaze: I'm not scared. Do whatever.
Jayfeather: Willowshine, you owe me your cobweb collection.
Willowshine: Why?
Jayfeather: I dare you to lick Willowshine's nose and purr at her.
Lionblaze: WHAT?
Willowshine: *giggles*
Lionblaze: Huh?
Jayfeather: You said you could take anything.
Lionblaze: Yeah. I can. No problem. I just . . . Okay. This won't take anything.
Jayfeather: Keep telling yourself that.
Lionblaze: (I can do this. It won't take anything. I can do this. It won't take anything. I can do this. It won't take anything. I can do this. I can take anything. I can do this. It won't take anything. I can do this. It won't take anything.)
Jayfeather: I didn't mean that literally!
Lionblaze: But you didn't mean it sarcastically either! I would know!
Willowshine: Are you going to lick me or what?
Lionblaze: *leans over and licks*
Kestrelflight: *dives in front of Willowshine's face*
Lionblaze: That was a bit more furry and rabbit-y than I thought it would be, but I like rabbit-y, so it all works out.
Willowshine: YOU DIDN'T LICK ME!
Lionblaze: I did too! I--
Kestrelflight: Hehe.
Willowshine: KESTRELFLIGHT!
Lionblaze: I licked Kestrelflight? This is so messed up!
Kestrelflight: GIGGLE!
Jayfeather: This is so funny.
(Rock: I didn't want a comedy, though! I wanted a soap opera!
Fallen Leaves: You're going to love me, Rock.
Rock: Why don't I believe you when you say that anymore?
Fallen Leaves: Because last time it was when Hollyleaf came and-- oh, well, that's beside the point.
Hollyleaf: You mean you don't like having me here?
Rock: THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!
Hollyleaf: *kicks Rock* OWW! You're hard like a rock!
Rock: Did you expect me to be soft as a feather?
Hollyleaf: Well, ye-- I mean, no?
Fallen Leaves: Well, I rented the whole New Prophecy memory set.
Rock: I LOVE SOAP OPERAS!
Fallen Leaves: You're welcome.
Memory-box: 'Oh, Leafpool! I love you so much!' 'Crowfeather! We must run away together!'
Hollyleaf: TURN THE CHANNEL!
Rock: NO! I'm watching this!
Fallen Leaves: And so am I!
Hollyleaf: Fine then! I'll go out into the cave with WindClan.
Rock: Not paying attention.
Hollyleaf: HUMPH! *walks out into cave*
Crowfeather: *in sleep* Leafpool . . . I love you . . .
Nightcloud: *in sleep hits Crowfeather*
Crowfeather: OWW!
Hollyleaf: Is there no escape to this?
Fallen Leaves: I tried to tell you, Hollyleaf!)
Willowshine: Well, you still must lick me.
Lionblaze: I licked Kestrelflight! Isn't that enough?
Willowshine: Jayfeather, make him lick me or else you don't get my cobweb collection.
Jayfeather: Nah. I just wanted him to have to lick Kestrelflight because I knew he would do that.
Kestrelflight: How did you know I would do that?
Jayfeather: Uhh . . . lucky guess?
Kestrelflight: Hmm.
Lionblaze: OKAY! It's my turn!

Lionblaze: *grins evil grin that no one sees* Kestrelflight, truth or dare?
Kestrelflight: Truth!
Lionblaze: Do you like anyone?
Kestrelflight: WELL YEAH! Of course I do!
Lionblaze: Sooo, who is it?
Kestrelflight: You didn't ask that!
Lionblaze: Well, can I ask again, then?
Kestrelflight: Nope! It's my turn!
Willowshine: I'm scared.
Flametail: Oh, this is nothing compared to ShadowClan games! We do all sorts of stuff! We go into ThunderClan territory, try to swim, see who can destroy giant, scratched broken sticks the fastest--
Jayfeather: YOU DO WHAT WITH BROKEN STICKS?
Flametail: We see who can destroy them the fastest!
Kestrelflight: OOH! I want to dare someone to do that!
Jayfeather: Flametail! Sticks mean things to some cats!
Willowshine: I cannot imagine a cat caring about a STICK.
Kestrelflight: Yeah! That would be CRAZY!
Flametail: We make jokes about that in ShadowClan.
Lionblaze: Tell me about it.
Jayfeather: *pokes Lionblaze*
Lionblaze: QUIT IT! That tickles!
Jayfeather: Just don't mess with sticks, okay?
Flametail: No! Sticks are the funnest part!
Jayfeather: LEAVE THE STI--
Kestrelflight: Truth or dare, JAYFEATHER?
Jayfeather: I JUST WENT!
Kestrelflight: Oh well!
Jayfeather: Well . . . umm . . . truth?
Kestrelflight: Awhh!
Jayfeather: I'm not that messed up as to pick dare, where you would make me find a broken stick and tear it apart.
Willowshine: You aren't?
Kestrelflight: Okay then. How did you know that I would jump in front of Willowshine?
Jayfeather: Uhh . . .
Lionblaze: Tell! Tell!
Jayfeather: *pokes Lionblaze*
Lionblaze: Ooh, that tickles!
Jayfeather: This is going to sound crazy. None of you will believe me.
Flametail: I'll always believe you, Jayfeather!
Willowshine: You obviously haven’t known him very long.
Flametail: What does that mean?
Jayfeather: Well, I have these powers from not even StarClan, but from a long, long time ago. It's from this prophecy. And so I can go inside dreams and read your mind and all of that.
(Silence)
Kestrelflight: Why's it so quiet? Did everyone finally lick my claw polish?
Willowshine: This is TRUTH, Jayfeather! Not some made up story!
Flametail: I thought I could trust you!
Lionblaze: But he wasn't--
Jayfeather: I got you all!
Lionblaze: But--
Jayfeather: The truth is, I just guessed.
Willowshine: Oh, that makes more sense. Thanks for being honest . . . eventually.
Kestrelflight: Yeah, you really had us going there.
Lionblaze: BUT THAT WAS THE LIE!
Jayfeather: We need to give you sarcasm lessons, Lionblaze.
Lionblaze: BUT--
Jayfeather: *pokes*
Lionblaze: QUIT THAT!
Kestrelflight: Hey . . . you guys . . . did you hear that?

Flametail: I didn't hear anything.
Kestrelflight: But I DID! It was a scary, groaning noise. It said, "I'm coming to get you!"
Willowshine: Quit making up stories, Kestrelflight!
Kestrelflight: I'm not making up stories! Did anyone else hear that?
Lionblaze: . . . I heard something like that.
Jayfeather: It was probably just your imagination. Let's not freak out over nothing.
Kestrelflight: There it is again!
Lionblaze: I heard that one!
Flametail: WE'RE GOING TO DIE!
Willowshine: Snap out of it! Nothing's happening. It's just you mouse-brains freaking out over nothing.
Jayfeather: YES! Listen to Willowshine! Let's not be all craz--
Kestrelflight: IT'S THE END! NOO!
Lionblaze: I didn't think it would be this way. I didn't think it would be here. I thought it would be different. I thought--
Willowshine: Calm down! Goodness! Kestrelflight, do you have any poppy seeds?
Kestrelflight: YOU LEAVE MY POPPY ALONE!
Willowshine: Well, then, let's all go for a walk and forget all about this mess.
Flametail: But what if the thing attacks us out there?
Lionblaze: I don't know!
Kestrelflight: It says . . .
Lionblaze: "Don't go out of the camp."
Jayfeather: Where are you getting this stuff from?
Kestrelflight: THE CREEPY VOICE!
Willowshine: Oh, come on. We're going for a walk.
Flametail: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
Willowshine: You're not going to die!
Flametail: What did I do wrong in life? Was it the fake sign? I didn't agree with it! It's all Jayfeather's fault!
Jayfeather: It's not the fake sign!
Willowshine: You faked a sign?
Jayfeather: Is this really important right now?
Kestrelflight: IT SAYS IT'S GOING TO EAT US!
Lionblaze: *chews on claws*
Jayfeather: WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP!
Lionblaze: I didn't say anything!
Jayfeather: Well, you just did, so just quit it!
(Fallen Leaves: ROCK, ROCK, ROCK! Change the channel, quick!
Rock: *holding box of tissues* But-- but-- she just told him that she wanted to be with--
Fallen Leaves: We can watch that any time! This is so hilarious! Turn it back to the Slumber Party!
Rock: I don't want a comedy!
Fallen Leaves: But it's not funny, it's just so stupid that it's funny!
Rock: I'm watching this!
Fallen Leaves: *changes channel*
Rock: HEY! Oh, wait, this is interesting.
Fallen Leaves: *giggle* Just watch!)
Flametail: *talking really quickly* Okay, let's just go for a walk now and forget about this and not freak out because nothing good ever happens when we freak out so let's just calm down and slow down and get out of her right now because if we don't we're going to—

Jayfeather: Woooh, goo out of caamp.
Lionblaze: The voice sounds all weird now!
Kestrelflight: That's not the voice!
Jayfeather: Doubt me and I will EAT you!
Kestrelflight: Okay, it's the voice!
Willowshine: IT IS REAL!
Flametail: Please don't eat me! Please don't eat me!
Jayfeather: *taps Willowshine and whispers* It's not really that! It's me!
Willowshine: You're faking a sign again!
Jayfeather: *shoves tail in Willowshine's mouth*
Willowshine: (Ugh. Fine. I guess I'll go along with this.)
Jayfeather: Thank you!
Willowshine: For what? I didn't say anything!
Jayfeather: Uhh, nevermind.
Willowshine: You creep me out at times.
Flametail: We should get out of camp!
Willowshine: Let's go for that walk I talked about earlier!
Kestrelflight: Well . . . if the voice said to . . .
Jayfeather: GET OUT OF CAMP!
Lionblaze: Okay, yeah, we should be going again!

(Soon, the five cats have made their way across one hill.)
Kestrelflight: I'M TIRED!
Lionblaze: So?
Kestrelflight: I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP.
Willowshine: *mockingly* Is it past your nest time?
Kestrelflight: I would tell you, but I can't see the stars!
(Dovepaw: [They noticed! They really noticed!])
Jayfeather: Fine. I'll tell you. It's not quite moonhigh, but past evening.
Kestrelflight: I should be snoring right now!
Flametail: You really have a nest time?
Kestrelflight: You don't?
Flametail: Well, Tawnypelt told me that I outgrew it.
Kestrelflight: Oh. Crowfeather told me that every good medicine cat needed a nest time.
Willowshine: Oh. Maybe he lied?
Lionblaze: GREAT. Now everyone in our family lies. At least me and Jayfeather are still good!
Jayfeather: Lionblaze, so, how about when you almost killed Heathertail?
Lionblaze: What are you talking about? STALKER!
Flametail: It's weird that the voice has not spoken in a long time.
Jayfeather: SILENCE OR THE VOICE WILL KILL YOU.
Flametail: Voice, but if you have no body, how will you kill us?
Lionblaze: Spirits are evil!
Kestrelflight: *laughs*
Lionblaze: What are you laughing about?
Kestrelflight: You STILL believe in spirit stories!
Willowshine: Uh, Kestrelflight? You don't believe in spirits?
Kestrelflight: You believe in them too, Willowshine? I thought better of you!
Jayfeather: Okay, so you don't believe in StarClan?
Kestrelflight: What's that?
Flametail: NON-BELIEVER!
Kestrelflight: Huh?

Lionblaze: I didn't know that medicine cats didn't believe in StarClan!
Willowshine: All medicine cats believe in StarClan!
Jayfeather: You mean you don't know?
Willowshine: Wait, know what?
Jayfeather: Uhh, nevermind.
Kestrelflight: Who is the StarClan you speak of?
Flametail: You know! Those cats that you meet at half-moon!
Kestrelflight: You mean the fairies?
Lionblaze: You guys get fairies, too? I knew I should have taken that job!
Flametail: What's a fairy?
Kestrelflight: NON-BELIEVER!
Willowshine: Let me get this straight. You think that you meet with fairies at half-moon?
Kestrelflight: Well, of course!
(Tallstar: I thought you were joking about that.
Barkface: I told you I didn't believe in sarcasm!
Tallstar: So you told him we were fairies?
Barkface: It was that or have Breezepelt as my apprentice! What would you have done?
Tallstar: Well, at least Breezepelt has some bit of a brain!)
Lionblaze: This is so funny!
Jayfeather: *hits Lionblaze*
Lionblaze: THE VOICE HIT ME!
Jayfeather: *hits head with a rock*
Lionblaze: Did you hear that clanking noise? I think it has bells!
Jayfeather: *throws rock at Lionblaze*
Lionblaze: Now it's throwing things at me!
Willowshine: This is pretty funny.
Flametail: DON'T HURT ME!
Kestrelflight: I'm sleepy . . . so sleepy . . .
Willowshine: Why don't you go to sleep, then?
Kestrelflight: I need a nest-time story.
Jayfeather: I think that can be arranged.
Kestrelflight: Really?
Jayfeather: Yep. Now, here, lay down.
Kestrelflight: Where?
Jayfeather: JUST LAY DOWN!
Kestrelflight: *small voice* Okay . . .
Jayfeather: We're all going to tell you a story.
Kestrelflight: Okay!
Willowshine: Me first?
Lionblaze: I WANT TO GO FIRST, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE.
Willowshine: Um, okay.
Lionblaze: Once upon a time--
Kestrelflight: I love stories like this!
Lionblaze: There was a little kit called Lionkit.
Jayfeather: I hate these stories.
Lionblaze: Quit interrupting me!
Willowshine: Yeah guys, quit interrupting him!
Lionblaze: So, he grew up, and he became Lionblaze! The end.

Willowshine: Oh! I know one that Mothwing used to tell me.
Jayfeather: This is going to be interesting.
Flametail: I asked Littlecloud to tell me a story once. He didn't know any. Well, he did, but they were all about death and dieing and stuff.
Jayfeather: Don't you like that stuff?
Flametail: Well, yeah, but not for a story!
Kestrelflight: Barkface . . . um . . . he didn't know any stories. At all. He was really dull.
Lionblaze: Ashfur never talked to me when he didn't have to.
Jayfeather: Deep down, he really cared about you.
Lionblaze: That explains the whole "kill you in the fire" thing! Cats only try to kill the cats that they love very much!
Jayfeather: I feel so loved.
Brokenstar: So do I!
Kestrelflight: THE VOICE IS BA-ACK!
Lionblaze: I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out.
Willowshine: Oh, I'm getting tired of this. That was just Jayfeather!
Flametail: Quit faking signs! *hits bush*
Jayfeather: Um, I'm over here . . .
Flametail: WELL, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!
Jayfeather: I have no empathy for you.
Lionblaze: Really? All this time, that was just you?
Jayfeather: Um . . . not that time. That really wasn't me.
Kestrelflight: So why aren't we all freaking out?
Lionblaze: I AM freaking out!
Flametail: Well . . . um . . . how about that story, Willowshine?
Willowshine: I'll try to remember it.
Brokenstar: No one ever told me a story. *sounds sad and pouts*
Lionblaze: Aww. The voice just needs a friend.
Kestrelflight: NO IT DOES NOT! WE SHOULD KILL IT!
Brokenstar: But I'm already dead.
Kestrelflight: NO! Stupid fairies!
Flametail: Tell the story, Willowshine!
Willowshine: I-I-I I forgot it.
Jayfeather: She didn't really forget it, but it's a stupid story anyway.
Willowshine: Will you stop guessing my every thought?
Jayfeather: Sorry. It's a gift.
Willowshine: Well, go give it to Kestrelflight!
Kestrelflight: I don't want a present right now!
Flametail: Well . . . Tigerheart's been telling me some really creepy stories lately.
Lionblaze: Really? What are they about?
Flametail: Well, I don't think that anyone really wants to hear them right now.
Jayfeather: OH! We do! We really, really, really do!
Willowshine: What's the matter with you? You're supposed to be my unenthusiastic buddy!
Jayfeather: Since when have I been your buddy?
Willowshine: Since--
Flametail: WELL, Tigerheart told me about the dark woods where the scariest cat lives.
Jayfeather: GO ON!
Flametail: His name was . . .
Brokenstar: BROKENSTAR!
Kestrelflight: SHH, Voice! We're listening to the story!
Flametail: FLUFF-BEAR!
Jayfeather: Seriously?
Flametail: Yep! And he lived and roamed in absolute darkness, until one day he discovered the rainbow spirit and they lived happily after! The end!

Dark Forest Land
Ivypaw: I can throw this ball of pine needles farther than you can!
Breezepelt: Why would I want to throw this ball of pine needles?
Ivypaw: Because you want to beat me at something!
Breezepelt: I do not!
Hawkfrost: Who can throw it farther?
Ivypaw: I'll throw it farther, just for you, Hawkfrost! *blinks sweetly*
Hawkfrost: Breezepelt can't even find any.
Breezepelt: I can, too!
Hawkfrost: Really?
Breezepelt: Yeah! Right . . . *scrambles around* Here!
Darkstripe: That looks like an oak leaf! It's been forever since I've seen one of those!
Brokenstar: It's been longer than forever for me!
Darkstripe: MY OAK LEAF!
Brokenstar: NO! MINE! *jumps on Breezepelt*
Breezepelt: Here, go fetch! *throws oak leaf a whole cm.*
Darkstripe: MINE! *dives toward leaf*
Brokenstar: NO! MINE! *grabs quicker*
Tigerstar: What are you two fools doing?
Brokenstar: Nothi--
Darkstripe: Well, Breezepelt found an oak leaf, and we didn't want to waste it--
Brokenstar: NOTHING!
Darkstripe: Quit lying! We were just--
Tigerstar: Well, I learned that Brokenstar went somewhere today.
Brokenstar: I did? Where?
Tigerstar: You were stalking a slumber party not two minutes ago.
Brokenstar: Oh. Yeah. That.
Breezepelt: You must be talking about Kestrelflight's slumber party. *rolls eyes*
Tigerstar: You knew about a slumber party and you didn't tell us anything about it?
Breezepelt: Why in the world would I tell you about a slumber party?
Hawkfrost: We LOVE slumber parties!
Darkstripe: Yeah! Remember the last one? Spottedleaf came over, and Yellowfang, and she did your claws, Brokenstar!
Brokenstar: She does paint claws rather nicely.
Hawkfrost: I got a fish from Silverstream.
Darkstripe: She was so pretty . . .
Hawkfrost: Hey! Look inside your own Clan!
Darkstripe: Okay . . .
Ivypaw: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CREEP!
Darkstripe: Fine. I'll go sit over here then.
Breezepelt: Go sit next to Tigerheart!
Hawkfrost: Where is Tigerheart, anyway?
Tigerstar: I sent him on a secret mission.
Breezepelt: Where to?
Darkstripe: SECRET mission, Breezepelt!
Breezepelt: I want one!
Tigerstar: You two, go away now.
Ivypaw: But you want me to stay, don't you, Hawkfrost?
Hawkfrost: *makes Ivypaw go poof*
Breezepelt: Haha--
Hawkfrost: *makes Breezepelt go poof*
Tigerstar: So, about this slumber party . . .

Flametail: *bounces up and down* So, did you like it?
Jayfeather: That was so disappointing.
Flametail: But you said that everyone wanted to hear it.
Jayfeather: I thought that--
Willowshine: He lied to you, Flametail.
Flametail: You're so mean! *throws blade of grass at bush*
Jayfeather: You really need to get your senses straight.
Lionblaze: I thought that you were the good one! But you lied!
Kestrelflight: Aww. I wish I had a brother and all that stuff. We would go fishing, and then we'd go complain about getting our paws wet, and then we'd go lay down and stare at the clouds--
Lionblaze: We tried that once. Jayfeather has a horrible imagination. He said he didn't see anything in the clouds!
Willowshine: It's horrible how un-creative some cats can be.
Flametail: Dawnpelt used to do that with me. Then she got a life.
Kestrelflight: Are you saying that I don't have a life?
Flametail: I don't know. Am I? *Blinks at innocently, which of course no one sees*
Kestrelflight: I'm still so TIRED.
Jayfeather: THEN GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!
Kestrelflight: I need a story!
Lionblaze: Do you make everyone in WindClan tell you a story every night?
Kestrelflight: Of course!
Flametail: WindClan cats sure do seem nice.
Jayfeather: Yeah. They're just great.
Willowshine: You can't be apart of this conversation. You'll be biased.
Jayfeather: I hate WindClan!
Lionblaze: HATER!
Willowshine: You can't be apart of it, either.
Lionblaze: That's okay. I am biased.
Jayfeather: You're so OPEN!
Lionblaze: Like the moorland!
Kestrelflight: It is very open. It's never closed. Not even at night or on holidays. I mean, you'd think it would be, but it's not. So it's never too late to get Onestar's birthday present!
Jayfeather: Thank you for telling me that completely pointless piece of information.
Kestrelflight: Oh, you're welcome!
Flametail: Well, I know you didn't like my last story--
Kestrelflight: Liked it? I LOVED IT!
Jayfeather: So why aren't you asleep then?
Kestrelflight: Because, I didn't like it THAT much.
Flametail: AS I WAS SAYING--
Willowshine: You're all so rude! Quit interrupting poor Flametail!
Flametail:-_-But that was my alternate ending. Tigerheart had another one.
Jayfeather and Lionblaze: REALLY?
Flametail: Really!
Willowshine: I give up. I would go back to camp, but I can't see anything.
Jayfeather: Aww, that's too bad. I guess you're stuck listening to Flametail's story, then.
Kestrelflight: Story time!
Flametail: Well, Fluff-Bear attacks a group of cats, and then he demands one thing.
Jayfeather: What is it? What does he demand?
Flametail: He . . . he demands . . .
Jayfeather: WHAT?
Flametail: Lionblaze, this being-cruel-and-waiting thing is fun!
Lionblaze: I know, right?
Jayfeather: TELL ME!
Flametail: He demands that--
Brokenstar: WHO IS SPEAKING ABOUT ME?
Kestrelflight: FLUFF-BEAR!

Lionblaze: Flametail's story is coming true!
Flametail: I didn't mean to! I didn't know! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Jayfeather: Well ... What does Fluff-Bear demand?
Flametail: Well, usually he demands one cat from the group.
Willowshine: There is one good thing that might come of this.
Jayfeather: I do like that idea.
Kestrelflight: Why does it feel like everyone is staring at me?
Flametail: Oh, you're over there! I thought that was Willowshine!
Lionblaze: I-I-I'm scared.
Jayfeather: Seriously, Lionblaze?
Lionblaze: YES!
Brokenstar: So you've heard of my desire.
Kestrelflight: It's spoken!
Flametail: Y-yes, Fluff-Bear!
Brokenstar: That's Mr. Fluff-Bear to you.
Flametail: But Tigerheart just called you--
Brokenstar: MR. FLUFF-BEAR!
Flametail: Okay, Mr. Fluff-Bear.
Kestrelflight: What about Fluff-Bear-Star?
Brokenstar: I'll take that too.
Jayfeather: What about Fluff-Bear-Tail?
Brokenstar: NOT THAT ONE.
Jayfeather: Fluff-Bear-Tail.
Brokenstar: SHUT UP!
Willowshine: Fluff-Bear-Tail!
Brokenstar: ALL OF YOU, BE QUIET!
Jayfeather: Hey, Kestrelflight, what's that one song that never ends?
Kestrelflight: Oh, I don't know how it begins . . . um . . .
Lionblaze: I do!
Jayfeather: Well, sing it!
Lionblaze: You won't poke me?
Jayfeather: Just sing it!
Lionblaze: Um . . . okay . . .
Jayfeather: Why aren't you singing it yet?
Lionblaze: I forgot how it begins.
Brokenstar: SILENCE!
Kestrelflight: --is golden, ductape is silver!
Jayfeather: (I wanted it to be white, though! Stick color! Now I have to go exchange it and everything!)
Brokenstar: Must you all be so annoying?
Willowshine: They'll leave you alone if you go away.
Brokenstar: NEVER!
Willowshine: Okay. Then they'll never be quiet.
Brokenstar: Alright then.
Tigerstar: You can't just give up!
Brokenstar: They're annoying!
Flametail: Tawnypelt says it's a gift of mine.
Kestrelflight: Barkface told me that I had the gift of silence. He gave it to me on my birthday last year.
Jayfeather: I can give you that gift, too.
Kestrelflight: NO! I don't want a gift right now!
Brokenstar: Do you understand what I've been dealing with all night?
Willowshine: Oh, come on, it hasn't been that long. I've been doing this all day!
Tigerstar: SILENCE! I am Fluff-Bear's friend, Face-Ripper.
Flametail: NO! Tigerheart said that Fluff-Bear's friend's name was Flower-Bounce.
Tigerstar: I'm his new best friend. Flower-Bounce ran away.
Flametail: That wasn't in the--
Tigerstar: I DON'T CARE!
Flametail: Well then, you don't exist.
Tigerstar: FINE. Ugh. I am Flower-Whatever.
Flametail: FLOWER-BOUNCE!
Tigerstar: Whatever.
Lionblaze: So . . . What are you doing here?
Tigerstar: Well, I've come to ask for the crippled one.
Jayfeather: *snaps Willowshine's leg* Oops ...
Willowshine: OWW! Jayfeather just broke my leg!
Kestrelflight: THROW HER!
Tigerstar: No, no, no! Not that crippled one!

Lionblaze: Well, maybe you should be more specific.
Tigerstar: I meant that--
Willowshine: HELLO! Medicine cats! My leg is broken!
Jayfeather: I'm sorry Willowshine, but what do you do all day in RiverClan?
Willowshine: Well, I would go help myself, if I could move or see something!
Flametail: Well, I can't see anything either.
Lionblaze: I can't!
Kestrelflight: Me neither!
Tigerstar: What happened? I want the crippled one!
Lionblaze: Specific?
Tigerstar: I sort of like the ominous-StarClan-thing.
Kestrelflight: Quit telling stories, Flower-Bounce!
Willowshine: For the last time, StarClan is not just a story!
Tigerstar: Alright. I'll be more specific.
Jayfeather: Um, no you won't.
Tigerstar: DON'T TELL ME WHAT NOT TO DO.
Jayfeather: I can and I will!
Tigerstar: THE BLIND ONE!
Flametail: It must be--
Jayfeather: Willowshine! You said you couldn't see anything!
Willowshine: Well, that's because there's no starlight!
Jayfeather: But for all we know, we could all have been blinded!
Kestrelflight: *breaks out in song* Blinded by the light--
Tigerstar: STOP SINGING!
Kestrelflight: Why, Flower-Bounce?
Tigerstar: Because I said so, that's why!
Kestrelflight: Well, okay.
Flametail: Well, I don't think that that's it, Jayfeather. I mean, because, well, the story says that Fluff-Bear only wants one cat.
Jayfeather: But this isn't Fluff-Bear! This is Flower-Bounce!
Lionblaze: He does have a point there.
Tigerstar: I still want the same thing! I want ... um ...
Darkstripe: The feathered one! Smart, right?
Tigerstar: Uhh ... Polka-Dot, you're not supposed to be here!
Darkstripe: Well, I said the right thing, right?
Tigerstar: Polka-Dot, GO!
Darkstripe: You can't make me.
Tigerstar: This is so annoying.
Brokenstar: Don't say I didn't warn you!
Kestrelflight: Well, I hate to interrupt you all, but you weren't invited to the slumber party.
Tigerstar: You mailed it late, but we got it.
Kestrelflight: Oh. Well, okay then!
Lionblaze: So, who do you want, again?
Tigerstar: The feathered one!
Darkstripe: Yay! You used my words!
Willowshine: This is getting annoying. They obviously want--
Lionblaze: NO! Not me! My name's really Lionblaze, not Lionfeather, so--
Tigerstar: We didn't mean you!
Brokenstar: But couldn't we use him anyway? I think that would work, too--
Tigerstar: Fluff-Bear, didn't you leave?
Flametail: NO! FLUFF-BEAR'S BACK!
Brokenstar: This is getting very annoying.
Flametail: Isn't it wonderful?
Brokenstar: Ugh. We just want—

Jayfeather: Kestrelflight! Don't kestrels have feathers?
Kestrelflight: Um ... I don't know ... Do they?
Willowshine: *thinks for a moment* THEY DO! It must be you, Kestrelflight!
Kestrelflight: But ... I ... It's my slumber party!
Tigerstar: You can stay at your slumber party! We don't want you!
Kestrelflight: YOU HATE ME! *Starts crying*
Jayfeather: Not this crying thing again.
Kestrelflight: EVERYONE HATES ME!
Flametail: I like you, Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: You're just saying that to make me stop crying.
Jayfeather: Sadly, he actually means that.
Willowshine: What is your PROBLEM? How do you know these things?
Jayfeather: The Truth or Dare game ended, didn't it?
Lionblaze: So, who does he mean? They don't want me, they don't want Kestrelflight, and they don't want Willowshine ...
Kestrelflight: I think I know who they want.
Jayfeather: No, you really don't.
Kestrelflight: I DO TOO!
Lionblaze: Well, who is it?
Kestrelflight: It's Flametail!
Willowshine: I guess that Flametail's a nice compromise. It's not Kestrelflight, but the third most annoying cat. I can live with this.
Flametail: I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE THESE CHARACTERS COME HAUNT US !
Tigerstar: This is why I hate medicine cats.
Kestrelflight: YOU MEAN YOU HATE ME?
Willowshine: Kestrelflight ... This is opposite day. Everyone really loves you.
Kestrelflight: THAT MEANS EVERYONE HATES ME! WAH!
Lionblaze: Flower-Bounce, are you sure you don't want him?
Brokenstar: I think that we really don't want him.
Tigerstar: You can have him.
Darkstripe: I think he could work ...
Tigerstar: No, Polka-Dot, I will not get you Kestrelflight as your random buddy.
Darkstripe: But you promised!
Tigerstar: I lied.
Lionblaze: We must be related somehow. ALL the liars are in my family!
Tigerstar: So you admit that your kittypet leader is a liar!
Lionblaze: Wait. Weren't we talking about this cat that you want?
Flametail: I ... I ... I don't have feathers!
Jayfeather: But there is a chance that you might be blind.
Willowshine: Jayfeather, they want YOU!
Darkstripe: And we have a winner!
Flametail: Can I have your prize, Willowshine?
Tigerstar: There are no prizes, but we do want Jayfeather.
Jayfeather: Well, you can't have me.
Willowshine: What? Yeah, they can!
Jayfeather: Thanks for the loyalty, Willowshine!
Willowshine: Maybe you should have stayed as my unenthusiastic buddy!
Flametail: No! We can't just give Jayfeather!
Kestrelflight: You're so lucky! Everyone wants you, Jayfeather!
Willowshine: I don't!
Kestrelflight: Oh! I have an idea!
Flametail: What? What is it?
Kestrelflight: We can just give Jayfeather to them! They want him, and Willowshine doesn't! Everyone wins!
Jayfeather: I don't!
Kestrelflight: Mind your own business!
Tigerstar: Well, that does sound like a hard compromise for us, but I suppose that we can consider it.
Darkstripe: What are you talking about? That's the best deal we've had yet!
Brokenstar: I'm choking you when we get back.
Kestrelflight: YOU'RE GOING TO CHOKE HIM!?
Brokenstar: Uh ... It's opposite day, remember?
Kestrelflight: Oh. Yeah. Okay!

Tigerstar: We agree to that deal.
Lionblaze: Wait! You can't take him! I didn't agree to this!
Kestrelflight: I did!
Willowshine: As did I!
Jayfeather: Don't I get a choice?
Flametail: He doesn't want to do it. We shouldn't make him.
Brokenstar: We respect that decision.
Flametail: That's so kind of you!
Jayfeather: Psh. He always does that. He's going to make you think that it's okay, but it really won't be, because then he's going to say something else and--
Brokenstar: We'll just have to stay here all night.
Kestrelflight: YAY! More cats to join our slumber party!
Tigerstar: And we'll have to eat all of you.
Kestrelflight: That's not apart of the slumber party plan!
Willowshine: What plan is this? You just planned for us to eat deathberries!
Brokenstar: WHAT? I'm leaving this slumber party!
Tigerstar: Fluff-Bear, you're already dead.
Brokenstar: I know ... but the memories ...
Tigerstar: GET OVER IT!
Lionblaze: It's okay! I'll fight them off!
Tigerstar: Not this again.
Jayfeather: Quit stealing my words!
Darkstripe: Quit stealing my words!
Jayfeather: Stop that!
Darkstripe: Stop that!
Jayfeather: This isn't going to work.
Darkstripe: This isn't going to work.
Jayfeather: I'm a mouse-brained *****.
Darkstripe: HAHA! You just called yourself a mouse-brained *****!
Brokenstar: You can't attack us. We're spirits.
Kestrelflight: SPIRITS ARE NOT REAL.
Brokenstar: We're fictional characters from Tigerheart's story, then.
Kestrelflight: Oh. That makes sense.
Flametail: How will you eat us if you're just spirits?
Kestrelflight: Fictional characters can eat real cats!
Willowshine: Why did I come here, again?
Jayfeather: Because you wanted to help the sane cats.
Willowshine: Well, I wish I hadn't. None of you are sane!
Lionblaze: I thought you loved me!
Willowshine: You loved me! I was trying to ward you off!
Jayfeather: Yeah, that's how it happened.
Lionblaze: Jayfeather! You know she's lying! Stop agreeing with her!
Jayfeather: That was sarca--
Tigerstar: WE WILL EAT YOU NOW.
Flametail: NO! Please! I'm sorry for the sign! I'm sorry for that mouse I ate before Littlecloud yesterday! I'm sorry for thinking that Ivypaw was pretty! I'm sorry for--
Willowshine: I ... I don't want to be eaten right now. I say that we take a vote on whether we want to be eaten or if we want to just give them Jayfeather.
Jayfeather: They aren't going to eat us! They can't eat us! Besides, if they try, which they won't, StarClan will come save us!
(Yellowfang: Yeah. That's how it will work.
Spottedleaf: It'll be sad to have all our medicine cats gone from the Clans ... But, we still have their mentors.
Tallstar: What about my Clan?
Spottedleaf: Breezepelt can take care of the Clan.
Tallstar: NO! I need Kestrelflight!
Barkface: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard any cat say. And I trained Kestrelflight.
Spottedleaf: Well, we have dear Leafpool, and Cinderpelt!
Runningnose: Littlecloud's still up and running.
Littlecloud: Hey!
Yellowfang: Glad that worked out for you, Runningnose.
Runningnose: NO! You can't die yet! Go back!
Littlecloud: What are you talking about? I just need someone to talk to!
Runningnose: We really have to start planning these things ahead of time.
Mudfur: Oh no.
Spottedleaf: What troubles you, Mudfur?
Mudfur: Now all I have is Mothwing.
Feathertail: Well, Mothwing's capable, and Leafpool can help her.
Mudfur: Are we talking about the same cat here?
Yellowfang: Well, we won't have to deal with the whole signs and talking to the annoying medicine cats anymore. All the new dead medicine cats will do that now.
Spottedleaf: But I like talking with them!
Yellowfang: You really need to get a life, Spottedleaf.
Spottedleaf: But ... we're dead.
Bluestar: WAIT! If Lionblaze and Jayfeather die, the prophecy will be broken!
Tallstar: Is that good or bad?
Yellowfang: Good, obviously! We won't have to worry about them taking over us!
Spottedleaf: But who will defend us from Dark Forest ?
Yellowfang: They will! They'll protect just us, though!
Bluestar: Yes! Everything will be perfect!
Tallstar: I don't want Breezepelt as the healer of my Clan!
Yellowfang: You won't have to worry about signs and dreams. It comes with the Tigerstar Plan that you bought for him!
Mudfur: I could get used to that.
Bluestar: We're going to all like this whole Tigerstar-Eating-Our-Medicine-Cats Thing.)
Tigerstar: Munch. Munch.
Flametail: OKAY! You can have him!
Lionblaze: But they can't eat me!
Tigerstar: We'll take Lionblaze instead of Jayfeather, if that is an option.
Willowshine: It's not! Take Jayfeather!

Tigerstar: That's reasonable, I suppose.
Jayfeather: NO! IT'S NOT!
Willowshine: Wait. We must consult.
Flametail: We need a cat from each Clan to come here and decide if Jayfeather should go or not.
Kestrelflight: OOh! OOH! ME! I want to be the WindClan cat!
Willowshine: You can be the WindClan cat, Kestrelflight.
Kestrelflight: YAY!
Jayfeather: I want to be the--
Lionblaze: ThunderClan! I called being the cat representing ThunderClan!
Willowshine: Well, since you both were right on top of calling it, we have a trivia question to decide who gets it.
Tigerstar: We do not have time for this!
Brokenstar: Oh, give it a break. It'll be worth it to have comedy added.
Flametail: We're not that hilarious, are we?
Darkstripe: Snowtuft could make better jokes than you.
Kestrelflight: Are you making fun of snow? Do not make fun of snow around me--
Lionblaze: Yay! Trivia!
Jayfeather: Great.
Willowshine: You both get one guess. If you get it right, you're in!
Lionblaze: That's fair. Then we can both be in!
Jayfeather: I guess so ...
Willowshine: The question is ... What color is your fur?
Lionblaze: Golden! Or golden-brown, it really depends--
Willowshine: Congratulations, Lionblaze! You've made it in!
Jayfeather: Uh ... Can I get back with you on this question?
Willowshine: Sure, but we're beginning without you.
Jayfeather: It'll be quick.
Willowshine: Okay. Whatever.





Jayfeather: YELLOWFANG!
Yellowfang: What do you want? Do you have any idea what time it is?
Jayfeather: It's always daytime here!
Yellowfang: What's your point?
Jayfeather: I need to ask you a question.
Yellowfang: What?
Jayfeather: What color is a jay?
Yellowfang: That's a random question.
Jayfeather: I just need to know!
Yellowfang: It depends on the jay.
Jayfeather: What type of answer is that?
Yellowfang: The type of answer you get from Yellowfang when you wake her up when it's daylight out!
Jayfeather: Do I get another question?
Yellowfang: NO!
Jayfeather: But--
Spottedleaf: What do you need to know, Jayfeather?
Jayfeather: What color is my fur?
Spottedleaf: Why would you want to know what color your fur is?
Jayfeather: If I don't, I'm going to end up in Dark Forest with Tigerstar and he's going to make me turn on all the stars in Dark Forest , which everyone should know is impossible because it's the Place of No Stars, so how can I turn on stars if there are none?
Spottedleaf: Mmm. It would mess with my plan to tell you that information.
Jayfeather: Wait. What plan?
Spottedleaf: Um, nothing, bye!
Jayfeather: WAIT!
Spottedleaf: Fine. I'll give you one clue.
Jayfeather: What is it?
Spottedleaf: You're half your father's pelt.
Jayfeather: I don't like these prophecy-like-things!
Spottedleaf: Well, you should have stayed a warrior then.
Jayfeather: I was under a lot of pressure! From YOU!
Spottedleaf: That's your internal conflict.
Jayfeather: But--
Spottedleaf: Talk to you later! *Goes poof*

Willowshine: I have an idea.
Flametail: I like ideas!
Lionblaze: I'll listen!
Willowshine: I think that it will make all the members of this meeting very happy.
Kestrelflight: I like being happy!
Willowshine: We'll just make them take Kestrelflight, too!
Lionblaze: I LOVE THIS!
Kestrelflight: YAY! FIELD TRIP!
Flametail: I want to go too!
Willowshine: Well—

Darkstripe: YAY! My random buddy!
Kestrelflight: YAY! POLKA-DOT!
Willowshine: I think that everyone in our little circle of the four Clans will be happy with this.
Lionblaze: I don't know ... Shouldn't we wait for Jayfeather?

(Jayfeather's Mind Land Place )
Jayfeather: Where could I find out about Crowfeather's pelt? Who would be dreaming about Crowfeather? Well, isn't Nightcloud his mate? Well, I guess I'll go there! *Runs to runnels*
Fallen Leaves: JAYFEATHER! You came back!
Jayfeather: Uhm . . . Hey, Fallen Leaves.
Fallen Leaves: I thought you ran away! Oh! I was so worried!
Jayfeather: Yeah ...
Fallen Leaves: Where have you been?
Jayfeather: Um, having a life.
Fallen Leaves: Can I have a life with you?
Jayfeather: Well, you're dead, so no.
Fallen Leaves: Oh. Yeah. Right. That.
Jayfeather: So, have you seen Rock lately?
Fallen Leaves: Yep! He's watching that slumber party of Kestrelflight's!
Jayfeather: *sighs* Has anyone not been watching that?
Fallen Leaves: Well, Hollyleaf went to the cave to watch WindClan, and WindClan hasn't seen it, and, oh yeah! You cats in the actual slumber party aren't watching it because Dovepaw turned off all the starlight! And--
Jayfeather: Oh, so Dovepaw turned off all the starlight?
Fallen Leaves: Well, yeah!
Jayfeather: Great. Now Fallen Leaves is figuring stuff out before I do.
Fallen Leaves: Wait. What's that supposed to mean?
Jayfeather: Nothing, nothing.
Fallen Leaves: So, why do you want to see Rock?
Jayfeather: I don't, actually. I just wanted to know if he still existed or not.
Fallen Leaves: He exists just as much as I do!
Jayfeather: That would be a negative,
Fallen Leaves: But if I didn't exist, I wouldn't be here, right?
Jayfeather: Um, sure. Anyway, so have you seen Nightcloud?
Fallen Leaves: Who's that?
Jayfeather: Nevermind. Just let me past.
Fallen Leaves: Why?
Jayfeather: Because I need to go see Nightcloud's dream!
Fallen Leaves: Wait. You can see? Oh the tunnels! ROCK! GUESS WHAT? JAYFEa--
Jayfeather: This is a DREAM, Fallen Leaves. I can see.
Fallen Leaves: Really? Oh wow! That's amazing! So, if I dream, I won't be able to see?
Jayfeather: Why don't you go curl up in your nest and try it?
Fallen Leaves: Okay! Wait ... Rock took it away from me yesterday. He said that I was misusing it.
Jayfeather: Do I want to know how you were misusing it?
Fallen Leaves: Of course you do! I was trying to eat it.
Jayfeather: That's weird ...
Fallen Leaves: It tastes like mouse. I think.
Jayfeather: Will you just let me through? Please?
Fallen Leaves: Well--
Lionblaze: JAYFEATHER! Wake up!
Fallen Leaves: AH! It's the voices again!
Jayfeather: Oh no ...

Jayfeather: What did I miss?
Willowshine: You're going with ...
Tigerstar: Fluff-Bear and Flower-Bounce.
Darkstripe: And Polka Dot!
Willowshine: Yeah. So you're going with them--
Jayfeather: What? I'm not going with them!
Kestrelflight: But guess what?
Flametail: Kestrelflight's coming with you!
Tigerstar: We didn't agree to this!
Darkstripe: Yes! I want my random buddy!
Kestrelflight: POLKA DOT!
Darkstripe: See?
Everyone: NO!
Willowshine: It's dark out, still!
Darkstripe: The word "Polka Dot" ... That just came out of nowhere! You have a buddy! I need one, too!
Flametail: You forgot your own name?
Darkstripe: That's not my name! My name's Darkstri--
Tigerstar: Polka Dot! Be quiet!
Darkstripe: But Tigerstar, I don't like being called Polka Dot!
(Akward silence)
Willowshine: What do you mean, "Tigerstar"?
Jayfeather: Hello?
Kestrelflight: HI!
Jayfeather: It's them! Tigerstar and Darkstripe and--
Willowshine: Who is them? These are the stupid fictional characters from Flametail's story!
Lionblaze: OHHH! I get it!
Flametail: This is the other version of that story that Tigerheart told me!
Willowshine: Now you tell us?
Jayfeather: *sigh* You're so slow ...
Kestrelflight: I'm not slow! I'm a WindClan cat! None of us are slow! We're--
Flametail: You mean you knew about the other names all along? And you didn't remind me? How would you know that anyway?
Jayfeather: NO! Wow. These are the Dark Forest cats.
Willowshine: What's the Dark Forest ?
Kestrelflight: I bet it's the nice, pretty, light place with all the singing and birds and oak trees--
Brokenstar and Darkstripe: OAK LEAVES!
Lionblaze: The home of the cats who are rejected entry into StarClan.
Kestrelflight: STOP USING BIG WORDS!
Jayfeather: Seriously Lionblaze, use words that they'll understand. You know they don't understand sophistication.
Willowshine: My brain's bigger than yours!
Jayfeather: Because you have such a big head.
Willowshine: How would you--
Brokenstar: Anyway ...
Willowshine: Thank you for answering my question, Lionblaze! *blinks sweetly, which of course no one sees*
Flametail: So this is Tigerstar?
Tigerstar: What? No! Who told you that?
Flametail: Jayfeather did. Just a few moments ago.
Brokenstar: He lied.
Flametail: AGAIN!?
Lionblaze: So now I guess it's just me on the honest-ness ...
Jayfeather: No, this is really the bad cats.
Kestrelflight: From where?
Jayfeather: The Dark Forest !
Kestrelflight: What's that?
Willowshine: *sigh* The stories that Flametail told you.
Kestrelflight: FLUFF-BEAR!!!
Flametail: You are confusing me! So what's true and what's not?
Jayfeather: THIS is Tigerstar.
Tigerstar: Fine. I'm Tigerstar.
Kestrelflight: NUH-UH! You're Flower-Bounce! Tigerstar's voice is supposed to be WAY deeper than that!
Flametail: Oh! Can I have your autograph? Please? I've always wanted your autograph!
Tigerstar: Uh, sure. *Grabs Darkstripe's paw and dips it into mud and splatters on a photo of Tigerstar* Here you go.
Flametail: IT'S SO PRETTY! Like Ivypaw! Oh!
Willowshine: How do you know it's pretty? It's still dark out.
Flametail: I don't know. It's Tigerstar! It has to be pretty!
Willowshine: Whatever.

Jayfeather: PST! Lionblaze! I know who turned off the starlight!
Lionblaze: How is this important right now?
Kestrelflight: (I hear whispering!)
Willowshine: (Let's eavesdrop on them!) *nudges Flametail and Kestrelflight*
Flametail: SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME! *looks at where he thinks Brokenstar is* Fluff-Bear, I know that was you!
Jayfeather: I can hear you ...
Lionblaze: What are you talking about? It's just Flametail being ... Flametail.
Jayfeather: No, I meant them trying to eavesdrop on us!
Lionblaze: I'm getting tired of your lies, Jayfeather. This is not the time for sarcasm.
Jayfeather: But I wasn't--
Flametail: LIAR!
Willowshine: But ... I just thought about eavesdropping ...
Jayfeather: Lucky guess?
Lionblaze: OOH YOU WERE ABUSING YOUR--
Jayfeather: DOVEPAW TURNED OFF THE STARLIGHT, OKAY?
Willowshine: Okay, so now you're trying to blame this on Lionblaze's apprentice?
Kestrelflight: I KNOW! Jayfeather turned off the starlight!
Tigerstar: ... So, we can have him now, because he lied to you and your ...
Darkstripe: Medicine-cat-mates.
Flametail: Medicine cats can't have mates!
Willowshine: Well, most of them can't. *blinks at Lionblaze again, and still, no one sees this, except...*
(Fallen Leaves: ROCK! Please, please, please tell me! Does Willowshine end up having a kit with Lionblaze? I can't wait to know for sure!
Rock: Yes. They name it Jaykit. Remember?
Fallen Leaves: Oh. Yeah. I remember now!
Hollyleaf: *returning from staring at WindClan* WHAT? He's going to have kits with my OTHER best friend now? He really needs to go find friends of his own sometime!)
(Back to the other stuff going on ABOVEground)
Jayfeather: I didn't turn it off! Dovepaw did!
Kestrelflight: LET'S GET HER!
Tigerstar: We were about to make a deal here--
Lionblaze: Yeah, let's ditch these lame Dark Forest cats!
Willowshine: Anything with you, Lionblaze!
Darkstripe: I'm deeply offended by that comment.
Brokenstar: I think that you're getting my awesomeness confused with that cat over there. *points at Hawkfrost, who is just watching all of this from the ONE tree on WindClan territory*
Tigerstar: SHUT UP!
Jayfeather: Well then, we should be going now ...

Flametail: I'm so excited!
Kestrelflight: So am I!
Willowshine: Are the two of you ever NOT excited?
Flametail: Umm ... *thinks* Maybe not.
Kestrelflight: I'm never not excited!
Flametail: *stares at Kestrelflight* You used a double negative!
Kestrelflight: What is THAT?
Flametail: *gasps* You don't know what a double negative is!?
Jayfeather: I don't think anyone cares what a double negative is ...
Flametail: REALLY? So I learned all of this grammar for absolutely NOTHING?
Lionblaze: I care! Jayfeather's just being ... Jayfeather!
Kestrelflight: I want to be Jayfeather!
Willowshine: Not two of him ... *sighs*
Kestrelflight: I can't see anything ... *walks into Hawkfrost's tree* AH! NO NOT THE TREE!
Jayfeather: *growls*
Kestrelflight: AH! What's that sound?
Willowshine: You were just being Kestrelflight being Kestrelflight without starlight.
Flametail: Yeah! Cause Jayfeather doesn't walk into trees, that's why!
Lionblaze: I want to be Jayfeather!
Kestrelflight: I'm the best Jayfeather! You can't beat that! *sticks out tongue at Willowshine and Flametail*
Lionblaze: All I care about is my stick! Oh! My stick! STICK! *hugs blade of grass*
Jayfeather: QUIT MAKING FUN OF ME AND MY STICK!
Willowshine: OOH, Jayfeather has a stick!
Lionblaze: Well, he had a stick. He broke it.
Flametail: That's so sad! *hugs Jayfeather*
Jayfeather: GET OFF OF ME!
Flametail: We should all talk about our feelings now.
Willowshine: Okay! That sounds like something actually reasonable.
Lionblaze: NO! But we were going to prank Dovepaw!
Willowshine: Oh Lionblaze, that can wait. We have to talk about our feelings now.
Kestrelflight: Well ... I feel excited.
Flametail: SO DO I!
Jayfeather: I hate feeling excited feelings.
Kestrelflight: EXCITEMENT! EXCITEMENT! *hops up and down*
Jayfeather: QUIT IT! The excitement of you two burns.
Willowshine: I feel like Mothwing doesn't care about my hopes and dreams.
Jayfeather: Don't worry. She doesn't care about her own hopes and dreams, either.
Flametail: I feel like Dawnpelt thinks that Ivytail is more amazing than I am. You know, I could have cute little kits too, if I wanted to, but no! Ivytail has some kits and she's just the most amazing thing EVER. It's so annoying!
Kestrelflight: I feel so happy when I see a rabbit. It just makes me want to run away and chase it!
Jayfeather: You do run away and chase it.
Kestrelflight: Only when no one's looking.
Jayfeather: You chased it in that dream that I was in.
Kestrelflight: ... Only in my dreams when no one is looking.
Lionblaze: I feel so unappreciated. I SAVED FIRESTAR FROM DIEING FOREVER and no one even said "Thank you, Lionblaze! You saved our amazing leader!" No, all I get is, "YOU KILLED OUR DEPUTY!" and, "Great. Now ShadowClan hates us because of YOU!"
Kestrelflight: On the bright side, they do say that it's great that ShadowClan hates them. So you must have done a positive thing!
Lionblaze: I never thought of it like that before!
Flametail: Because you made our wonderful deputy die and go away forever! It's not right!
Willowshine: Let's not talk about other things. Let's just not be hostile right now, Flametail!

Flametail: Oh, I know. I don't like being hostile! It's just that sometimes my emotions explode inside of me and my brain bursts and I don't even bristle but on the inside I AM FUMING and--
Jayfeather: That was one big explosion.
Willowshine: You are the cat who I would least expect to explode on the inside.
Flametail: Oh, I do! I want to RIP some cats to shreds and kick them and--
Willowshine: I'll bet that Jayfeather has many thoughts about hurting cats.
Jayfeather: The worst I've ever wanted is to rip a cat's eyes out. AND HE WAS BLIND.
(Fallen Leaves: Aww! What did Longtail do?
Hollyleaf: Mouse-brain! He's talking about Rock!
Fallen Leaves: *gasps* Rock, you're blind?
Rock: Maybe I am ...
Hollyleaf: The world may never know.)
Kestrelflight: I just want to bounce on some cats! Breezepelt is very bouncy!
Lionblaze: How bouncy is Heathertail?
Kestrelflight: So-so. She's mildly bouncy. Depends on her mood. Now Sedgewhisker--
Jayfeather: Can we just go to ThunderClan already?
Willowshine: Well, I'll be LIMPING the whole time because of YOU!
Jayfeather: You have no legal proof of that.
Willowshine: Your fur is all over my BROKEN LEG.
Jayfeather: My fur is gray like yours. It could have been you doing that.
Willowshine: Quit making up stories, once again!
Flametail: I CANNOT STAND LIARS! *thinks about hurting Jayfeather*
Jayfeather: Wow Flametail ...
Kestrelflight: No one lies! In Jayfeather's world, he's probably convinved that he didn't hurt you, Willowshine.
Jayfeather: Not really. When you put it like that, I freely admit that I DID break her leg.
Willowshine: Ha! You admitted it.
Jayfeather: Whatever.
Lionblaze: Well, while all of you talk about how messed up Willowshine is--
Willowshine: It was just my leg! Not me! I'm still wonderfu--
Lionblaze: I'm going to race myself down to the bottom of the hill and into ThunderClan territory because I AM FAST and I AM PROUD OF IT! So, take that!
Jayfeather: Who are you talking to?
Lionblaze: Oh, no one.
Kestrelflight: Well, I can be competitive at times.
Lionblaze: OH YEAH?
Kestrelflight: Yep!
Lionblaze: Well, I'll race you to ThunderClan territory!
Kestrelflight: Okey-dokey!

Kestrelflight: I'm going to beat you! *starts running downhill*
Lionblaze: NO ONE WILL BEAT ME.
Flametail: ... I thought Kestrelflight just said that he would.
Kestrelflight: Did I? Oh yeah!
Flametail: I don't get the whole concept of beating someone. It's so sad! Don't hit someone like that!
Willowshine: Flametail, the English language has multiple meanings for one word.
Flametail: ENGLISH LANGUAGE? What is THAT?
Willowshine: What we're speaking in ...
Flametail: We are speaking in Mewlstalk now!
Jayfeather: Meow.
Flametail: What the frogspit does that mean? If someone went around saying "meow" all the time, I'd look at them like they were funny!
Willowshine: Flametail, this is---
Jayfeather: *bursts out laughing* FROGSPIT? And I thought it was hilarious when Breezepelt called me rabbit droppings!
Flametail: *bristles* Well, it's better than MOUSE-DUNG!
Willowshine: You're both bits of fish slime if you ask me--
Jsyfeather: Did anyone ask you, Willowshine?
Willowshine: (Did they? Umm...)
Jayfeather: The answer wouold be, NO, Willowshine!
(Meanwhile ...)
Kestrelflight: I think I'm ahead of you!
Lionblaze: No, I'm ahead of you!
Kestrelflight: Are not!
Lionblaze: Are so!
Kestrelflight: How do you know?
Lionblaze: Because, I know these things.
Kestrelflight: What are we racing to?
Lionblaze: I don't know ...
Kestrelflight: What could we run to ... hmm ...
Jayfeather: You do know that if you're running, you're not supposed to be able to carry out a conversation, right?
Lionblaze: AHH! Where did you come from?
Jayfeather: I ditched those two. Willowshine started complaining about her stupid leg again.
Lionblaze: ... You didn't answer my question.
Kestrelflight: YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MINE, EITHER.
Lionblaze: Jayfeather! He knows everything!
(Fallen Leaves: *pokes Rock* I told you that you're related to him!
Hollyleaf: Eww, then that means that--
Rock: *looks at Hollyleaf disgustedly* I have NOTHING to do with ANY of you!
Fallen Leaves: WELL--
Hollyleaf: Here we go again ...
Fallen Leaves: --I've been searching through some memories, and it turns out that my mother was your great-great-step-neice's sister, and so that means that ...
Hollyleaf: *gasps* Fallen Leaves, is that a bald spot?
Fallen Leaves: *turns around in a circle trying to look for bald spot* WHERE? WHERE?
Rock: I miss it when no one knew I existed.)

Jayfeather: What do you want to ask?
Kestrelflight: Where can we stop?
Jayfeather: ... You can stop right now and just lay down and not wake up and--
Kestrelflight: I meant the race, silly!
Lionblaze: We don't know where it should stop at.
Jayfeather: Hmm ... *thinks through memories and smile spreads across space* You know that one place with the badger set that likes to collapse a lot?
Lionblaze: *thinks* Umm ... *lightbulb explodes in head* Yeah, I know that place!
Kestrelflight: I don't!
Lionblaze: You can just follow me, then!
Kestrelflight: *beams* OKAY!
Jayfeather: ... You do realize that you just gave up the race ...
Lionblaze: SHH!
Jayfeather: I'm just saying--
Kestrelflight: Where do I go? I can't see Lionblaze and I'm going to freak out and I'm going to explode and--
Lionblaze: I'm right here! *flicks tail*
Jayfeather: WHY DID YOU JUST HIT MY NOSE?
Lionblaze: ... That was supposed to be Kestrelflight's nose!
Kestrelflight: You wanted to hit my nose? *tear slides down nose* You just hit it! You-- *runs into stream* AHH! GET IT OFF OF ME!
Lionblaze: Am I killing you? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I don't even know I'm doing it, I just--
Jayfeather: Not you! The stupid cat fell in the stream.
Lionblaze: Didn't you--
Jayfeather: ... I WAS TALKING ABOUT KESTRELFLIGHT.
Kestrelflight: I can't breathe! HELP ME!
Lionblaze: I'll save you! *dives into water then screams* OH NO! I CAN'T SWIM!
Kesrelflight: JAYFEATHER! SAVE US!
Jayfeather: I'm not falling in that stream again!
Lionblaze: We're drowning here!
Jayfeather: I'm not stupid! I know that!
Kestrelflight: SAVE US!
Jayfeather: I don't want to get my fur wet.
Kestrelflight: You probably have a LITTLE bit of RiverClan in you somewhere or another! I, on the other paw, my descendants have always hated water.
(Owl Feather: *fluffs up fur* I like water! He should speak for himself!
Fish Leap: *pushes into pool*
Owl Feather: YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!)
Jayfeather: I'm not that messed up!
Lionblaze: *coughs* Yeah, Jayfeather, you kind of are.
Jayfeather: You're that too!
Lionblaze: Oh, yeah. Right.
Jayfeather: Weren't you busy drowning?
Lionblaze: Umm ... yeah ... *makes bubbles*
Kestrelflight: NO! The current is carrying me away!
Lionblaze: *blows bubbles to make Kestrelflight float away faster*
Kestrelflight: *bumps into rock* LIONBLAZE HIT ME!
Lionblaze: Did not!
Kestrelflight: Did too!
Lionblaze: Did not!
Kestrelflight: Did--
Jayfeather: Will you two BE QUIET?
Lionblaze: We're drowning!
Jayfeather: You're blowing bubbles.
Lionblaze: *gasps* STALKER!
Jayfeather: Haven't we had this conversation before?
Lionblaze: Yes, but--
Kestrelflight: I'm drowning!
Jayfeather: How many times are you going to anounce that before you acually do?
Kestrelflight: (One ... two ... three? Maybe? Oh, I lost count again! One ... uno? Maybe? Umm ...)
Jayfeather: *rolls eyes*
Lionblaze: I wish one of us knew how to swim.
Kestrelflight: If only we had someone to teach us!
Lionblaze: OOH! I remember someone who teaches swimming.
Jayfeather: *eyes widen* No you don't--
Lionblaze: *snaps claws together* Sedgewhisker is the best swim instrucor ever!
Kestrelflight: *gasps* She is, isn't she?
Lionblaze: YEP!
Kestrelflight: I sure do wish Sedgewhisker was here right now.
Lionblaze: Tell me about it. If we had someone who could teach us how to swim ... wow. That would be just awesome.
Kestrelflight: Then I wouldn't be drowning!
Lionblaze: I know! And our fur wouldn't be all wet!
Kestrelflight: Tell me about it!
Lionblaze: ... I am telling you about it.
Jayfeather: Will this go on all night? *turns around*
Flametail: JAYFEATHER! WE FOUND YOU! *runs up and attacks with hug*

Jayfeather: OOF! Gett off me!
Flametail: We found you! We found you!
Kestrelflight: I'm drowning! Help me!
Flametail: *gasp* You fell in the stream?
Kestrelflight: *fluffs up fur indignantly* No! I did not!
Jayfeather: He ran into it.
Willowshine: *rolls eyes* I guess you other-Clan-cats don't have the amazing sense of knowing when water is near you.
Flametail: *gasp* You have that?
Willowshine: Well, duh. It's part of our RiverClan-ness.
Flametail: I want RiverClan-ness!
Lionblaze: We're still drowning!
Willowshine: Oh, Lionblaze, you're drowning? Oh no!
Jayfeather: Yeah, he jumped in after Kestrelflight. He forgot he couldn't swim. *snorts*
Willowshine: Aww! How heroic!
Jayfeather: ... You do mean idiotic?
Willowshine: Uh, no, heroic.
Jayfeather: Well, I suppose this explains why everyone loves Berrynose.
Flametail: I love that show!
Jayfeather: ... Show?
Flametail: "Everyone Loves Berrynose"!
Jayfeather: ... He has a show?
Flametail: Well, of course!
Jayfeather: Wow.
Willowshine: *jumps into stream, then yelps* Oww! My leg's broken! I can't swim!
Jayfeather: How heroic of you to forget.
Willowshine: I'm going to die! No!
Kestrelflight: NOO!
Lionblaze: We're drowning!
Jayfeather: You're still blowing bubbles, Lionblaze.
Lionblaze: I'm blowing bubbles and not swimming! NO!
Jayfeather: Well, that's your problems. *walks over to stepping stones*
Kestrelflight: You're going to LEAVE US here?
Jayfeather: Well, I'm not going to fall asleep here.
Flametail: Well, I'll try to save you cats! *puts paws in water and shrieks* It's all cold!
Willowshine: It's water! It's not going to be warm in the middle of the night!
Flametail: *whimpers*
Jayfeather: You're all pathetic.
Willowshine: Well, at least he's trying!
Jayfeather: I'm not getting my paws wet!
Willowshine: So you're no better!
Jayfeather: ... Have any of you tried standing up?
Lionblaze: *puts paws down and stands up* I DID!
Kestrelfight: *stands up and starts dancing* YAY!
Willowshine: *paddles helplessly* I can't set my paw down!
Kestrelflight: I'll save you, Willowshine!
Willowshine: Eww! Get your paw OFF OF ME!
Lionblaze: I'll save you, too!
Willowshine: Oh, in that case ...
(Kestrelflight and Lionblaze lift Willowshine out of the stream onto WindClan side of stream, and get out on other side)
Willowshine: Wait ... where did you two go?
Kestrelflight: Where did we go?
Lionblaze: We have a race to finish!
Kestrelflight: Oh, right, that!
Jayfeather: *tottering on one of the stepping stones* You're still racing?
Kestrelflight: Of course! How could we forget that?
Flametail: He did jsut forget that, did he not?
Willowshine: He totally did.
Flametail: Okay, but did he not?
Lionblaze: I don't start something and not finish it.
Kestrelflight: WELL, I'm getting the head start!

Kestrelflight: I'm going to wi-in.
Lionblaze: No, you're not!
Kestrelflight: *runs faster* Yes, I am!
Lionblaze: Not if I can help it!
Jayfeather: *makes squeaky high-pitched noise*
(Lionblaze and Kestrelflight skid to a stop*
Lionblaze: *rubs ear with paw* What was THAT?
Kestrelflight: *shivers and buries self in Lionblaze's fur* I don't know, but it was a scary noise!
Lionblaze: Uhh ... *backs away from Kestrelflight*
Jayfeather: Well, I figured you could use some rules. I don't want any ... accidents to happen.
Kestrelflight: Aww! You care about us! *tries to hug Jayfeather, but hugs tree instead*
Jayfeather: Yeah, that's it.
Lionblaze: We don't need rules!
Jayfeather: Maybe if you'd had rules BEFORE, I wouldn't have had to stick my paw down Breezepelt's throat!
Lionblaze: Maybe if we'd just had Hollyleaf kill him instead of touching Heathertail's fur, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now!
Jayfeather: Maybe if Leafpool'd let me participate, I wouldn't have been able to save you and maybe I wouldn't be HERE right now!
Kestrelflight: Maybe if Breezepelt hadn't pushed me down that hill that day during the apprentice ceremony, I'd actually understand this conversation!
Lionblaze: Maybe--
Jayfeather: Okay, here are the rules.
Kestrelflight: *holds out tail* Put it right there!
Jayfeather: ... I'm going to tell you what they are.
Lionblaze: Well, you must be specific!
Jayfeather: I. Am. Going. To. Tell. You. The. Rules. Right. Now. And. The. First. One. Is. Not. To. Attack. Anyone.
Lionblaze: You're looking at me right now, I just know it!
Kestrelflight: *hits Lionblaze* Don't be mean to Jayfeather! Just because he can't look at anything doesn't mean that--
Lionblaze: Oh, so you want to get violent now, Kestrelflight?
Kestrelflight: *pauses* What does that word mean?
Lionblaze: *jumps on Kestrelflight*
Kestrelflight: Ahh!
Jayfeather: Stop this! *throws leaf at them* This is against Rule Number One!
Lionblaze: *slips on leaf* OWW! I'm going to have to sue someone for this!
(Darkstripe: It's such a shame. So many abused leaves in this world.
Brokenstar: I know, right!
Darkstripe: I never said that you didn't know, Brokenstar.
Brokenstar: ... Anyway, they need to learn to respect leaves.
Pine Needle: You just hate me, don't you? *the ground starts to fill up with all the tears from the pine needles*
Darkstripe: No! Don't cry!
Brokenstar: Great.
Tigerstar: *wades through the tears* What is THIS?
Darkstripe: Well, the pine needles were offended, so ...
Tigerstar: *shakes head* Why do I even ask?
Darkstripe: *sits down and raises paw eagerly* OOOH! I know the answer to this one! I mean it this time!
Tigerstar: This is why you fail, Darkstripe.
Darkstripe: I don't fail! I just ... don't succeed ... or try ... or anything, really.
Brokenstar: I didn't know that you could define the word "fail" until just two heartbeats ago.)
Kestrelflight: *sits up* I had a friend named Sue once. Then Sue ran away. AND I CRIED! Sue was good at being invisible ...
Jayfeather: NO MORE FIGHTING!
Lionblaze: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TELL ME TO FIGHT AND NOT TO FIGHT!
Jayfeather: Lionblaze, no fighting.
Lionblaze: QUIT IT! You always boss me around and I just feel like--
Kestrelflight: Violence is not the answer!
Lionblaze: We didn't ask a question to begin with!
Kestrelflight: I know. It just felt like the appropriate time to say something like that.
Jayfeather: THIS is why medicine cats need to have a background check BEFORE their mentor dies!
Kestrelflight: Or gives up.
Jayfeather: SHE'S COMING BACK SOMEDAY!
Lionblaze: Are we talking about Heathertail again?
Kestrelflight: *starts to cry* Heathertail said she would tell me a story tonight! Well, not really, but I was going to make Crowfeather do it and then he yelled at Heathertail and told her to do it this time because he was tired of being around me, and then--
Jayfeather: Maybe Crowfeather isn't so insane. He actually gets tired of being around you.
Kestrelflight: Why would he get tired? I say he can sleep next to me if he wants to!
Lionblaze: Anyway ... Aren't we supposed to be racing or something?
Kestrelflight: We're supposed to be doing something. I think.
Jayfeather: Kestrelflight, you really need to make up your mind. One second we're going to prank Dovepaw, and now you're racing. What's it going to be?
Kestrelflight: *gasps* We can race to ThunderClan camp! YAY!
Lionblaze: YAY!
Jayfeather: ... Okay.
Lionblaze: But ... what about Willowshine and Flametail?
Kestrelflight: OH NO!
Jayfeather: Hold on a moment.
(Lionblaze and Kestrelflight both cling tightly to a tree)

(Flametail and Willowshine made their way to the ThunderClan side of the territory)
Flametail: Hey, Willowshine!
Willowshine: *sighs* Hi, Flametail.
Flametail: HI!
Willowshine: *sighs*
Flametail: I hope we don't get lost. Do you think we're lost? I really hope we're not lost. I can't see anything because it's still dark and usually we have Kestrelflight here so I'm not this nervous but I am and--
Willowshine: We're not lost.
Flametail: If we're not lost, then what are we?
Willowshine: Medicine cats. Duh.
Flametail: That's a verb. I wanted an adjective.
Willowshine: Well, I want reeds and my herbs, but I'm not getting those!
Flametail: Make a wish!
Willowshine: WHAT?
Flametail: Like, make a wish.
Willowshine: On what?
Flametail: The stars, of course.
Willowshine: Oh! Great idea.
Flametail: Oh, thanks! I knew someone would appreciate my ideas some--
Willowshine: The stars disappeared, you fish gull.
Flametail: ... It's still a good idea, right?
Willowshine: Whatever.
Flametail: I think, that if we hope and wish--
Willowshine: --*mutters* On your invisible star--
Flametail: --that we will really find the others again. And then--
Willowshine: Why would we want to find the others?
Flametail: Because, we're in the slumber party!
Willowshine: The slumber party that never ends!
Flametail: That reminds me of a song that Kestrelfli--
Willowshine: Do you ever stop talking?
Flametail: *holds breath for a second* I just did.
Willowshine: Well, do it again.
Flametail: *holds breath for a second* I did it!
Willowshine: Wow.
Flametail: I get that a lot.
Willowshine: I wonder why.
Flametail: I think it's because--
Willowshine: Anyway ... I didn't know that this stream flowed all the way through ThunderClan territory.
Flametail: Oh, it doesn't.
Willowshine: W-what?
Flametail: I said, it doesn't.
Willowshine: You said this was the right way! You said to follow the stupid stream!
Flametail: *gasps* Willowshine, tell the stream you're sorry.
Willowshine: I would, but streamd DON'T HAVE FEELINGS.
Flametail: ... You're going to make it mad, Willowshine.
Willowshine: It doesn't have feelings!
Flametail: It's really going to get mad at your.
Willowshine: It's a STREAM.
Flametail: Well, anyway, so, well, there isn't a stream--
Willowshine: How in the name of StarClan would you know that?
Flametail: Because, I know everything about everything in ThunderClan territory.
Willowshine: Grea-eat.
Flametail: I know. It's wonderful to have a knowledgable guide!
Willowshine: We were supposed to be going INTO ThunderClan territory, not up it!
Flametail: But I thought we were going to the Moonpool!
Willowshine: Why would we go to the Moonpool?
Flametail: It just seems like there's something trying to tell me something, but I don't know what. It's quite odd--
Willowshine: We need to go down! Forget about your stipid Moonpool and just find a way to go down!
Flametail: Well, it's sloping down right here, I think.
Willowshine: We're going UP, Flametail. UP. U. P. UP. The opposite of do-- *squeals as falls into rabbit hole*
Flametail: *screams* I HEARD SOMETHING SCREAM! HELP!
Willowshine: I fell into a hole! YOU help ME!
Flametail: But I can't find you! No!
Willowshine: I'm right here.
Flametail: Right where?
Willowshine: Right here! In the ground!
Flametail: There's a lot of ground!
Willowshine: Well, Mr. I-Know-Everything-About-ThunderClan-Territory--
Flametail: Who's that?
Willowshine: Look, Flametail.
Flametail: It's all dark out--
Willowshine: LISTEN, Flametail.
Flametail: *sits down and turns ears towards Willowshine*
Willowshine: Follow my VOICE. I'm in the HOLE.
Flametail: *walks over to Willowshine and sits down*
Willowshine: Now, get me out of the hole.
Flametail: *whimpers* But I don't want to hurt you!
Willowshine: You're not going to hurt me!
Flametail: Don't be brave for me!
Willowshine: I'm not being brave! My BROKEN LEG is in the hole and it REALLY HURTS right now!
Flametail: Why didn't you just say that to begin with? *grabs Willowshine's scruff and pulls her up out of the hole really quickly*
Willowshine: OWW! *cries*
Flametail: *whimpers* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry--
Willowshine: IT'S SO PAINFUL! *squeals*
Flametail: I DIDN'T MEAN TO!
Willowshine: It's all your fault!
Flametail: I KNOW AND I'M SORRY! *pauses* Wait, what's all my fault?

Ivypaw: *walks into camp after her dream ends*
Dovepaw: OH NO! There's something in the camp! NO! I should have heard it coming! BAD DOVEPAW! *hits head on ground*
Ivypaw: What's your problem?
Dovepaw: Ohh ... Ivypaw, it's just you.
Ivypaw: Well, YEAH.
Dovepaw: Okay.
Ivypaw: Soo ... Why are you sitting out here?
Dovepaw: I'm being completely silent.
Ivypaw: ... No you're not. You're talking to me.
Dovepaw: NO! Ugh. I have to be silent now, then.
Ivypaw: Who told you to be silent? Lionblaze?
Dovepaw: Yeah.
Ivypaw: And you listened?
Dovepaw: Of course! He is my mentor, after all.
Ivypaw: *laughs* That means something?
Dovepaw: OF COURSE!
Ivypaw: If I listened to everything Cinderheart says, I'd be ... you.
Dovepaw: What's wrong with being me?
Ivypaw: ... *looks at Dovepaw from tail to nose and coughs* Nothing, nothing.
Dovepaw: Well, I guess we aren't being quiet anymore.
Ivypaw: Welcome to the Dark Side.
(Hawkfrost: Look! Look! She's already recruiting cats of her own! I'm so proud of her!
Tigerstar: Oh, yeah, she's recruiting the stupid cat IN THE STUPID FAKE PROPHECY! *rolls eyes, then blinks and sits up* Hey, wait a second ...)
Dovepaw: Well, I guess it does feel kinda ... good.
Ivypaw: I know, right? It's the best feeling in the world - being rebellious!
Dovepaw: ... I don't feel any different. Just talkative.
Ivypaw: Well, let's talk about some things, then.
Dovepaw: What is there to talk about?
Ivypaw: Hmmm ... have you seen the latest silent film? The one about the cat with the ear infection?
Dovepaw: No. *sigh* Lionblaze says that I have to make Jayfeather feel good about himself while he goes and watches those.
Ivypaw: Again, and you do that?
Dovepaw: Of course!
Ivypaw: I have a lot of work to do on you, sister.

Dovepaw: So ... what do you usually do at night?
Ivypaw: I go to the most amazing -- wait, that's my secret! Back off!
Dovepaw: No need to be so edgy, Ivypaw.
Ivypaw: Quit acting like my mother!
Dovepaw: Quit being Ivypaw!
Ivypaw: Quit being Dovepaw!
Dovepaw: Quit-- *fur stands on end* Did you hear that?
Ivypaw: I heard your MOUTH, if that's what--
Dovepaw: No, no. Not that. I mean ... they're about to wake up! We must be quiet!
Ivypaw: Oh well! Let them wake up!
Dovepaw: Then you'll get into trouble.
Ivypaw: Yeah, right.
Dovepaw: And they'll make you tell your secret.
Ivypaw: *bristles* I'd like to see them try!
Dovepaw: Oh. Speaking of which, I do miss my eyesight. *turns starlight back on*
Ivypaw: *looks around* Did you do that?
Dovepaw: Well, of course ... not. I don't know. Didn't you hear about that whole moon-covering-the-sun thing?
Ivypaw: You mean the eclipse?
Dovepaw: What is an eclipse?
Ivypaw: The thing that covers the sun.
Dovepaw: OH! I thought you were talking about the movie!
Ivypaw: Movie? Like the silent film?
Dovepaw: Well, yes, but with words. It's so amazing! *eyes fade and begin to blink dreamily*
Ivypaw: What are you talking about?
Dovepaw: *stares at* You haven't seen Eclipse?
Ivypaw: Well, no duh. We weren't even born yet.
Dovepaw: Not that one, in the sky! The movie! With Bella and Edward and Jacob and--
Ivypaw: Those are some WEIRD names. I bet not even a kittypet's name is Bella! I mean, seriously, where did that come from?
Dovepaw: It's some Twoleg thing. I watch their movies sometimes. Did you know that there are, like, portable DVD players? And the Twolegs bring them with them so that they have something to do out here. And they--
Ivypaw: How do you watch their movies?
Dovepaw: I just ... see them.
Ivypaw: Seriously? Like, you walk up there and see it?
Dovepaw: No, I just ... oh, just nevermind.
Ivypaw: Fine! Have your secret!
Dovepaw: I'll tell you more about mine if you tell me more about yours.
Ivypaw: Well ... Mine's special. I meet with the most AMAZING StarClan cat. Ever.
Dovepaw: Well, I saw a StarClan cat too!
Ivypaw: Mine's hot.
Dovepaw: Mine's ... old. And cranky. And gray-furred and--
Ivypaw: OMSC You were dreaming about Jayfeather?
Dovepaw: NO! Of course not!
Ivypaw: Well, you were just describing him!
Dovepaw: Oh! Just tell me about yours.
Ivypaw: *giggles* He's so handsome and wonderful and he likes to scratch me but I don't mind and he thinks I'm better than Breezepelt and--

Brambleclaw: Ivypaw! Dovepaw! You're being so loud!
Dovepaw: *jumps up and turns around* I'm sorry! I was supposed to be quiet, and then Ivypaw came, and--
Ivypaw: *cries* It's always MY fault!
Dovepaw: She said it, not me!
Brambleclaw: Why are you even out of your nest, Ivypaw?
Ivypaw: *hiss* That's my secret!
Dovepaw: *sings* She was visiting her StarClan-friend!
Ivypaw: This is why I DON'T tell you my secrets!
Dovepaw: You shouldn't have told me, then!
Brambleclaw: *rolls eyes* Are you two going to go to sleep?
Ivypaw: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
Brambleclaw: I'm the deputy. It's what I do.
Ivypaw: NO DUH.
Brambleclaw: *bristles* You will show more respect for me!
Ivypaw: I only show respect for Hawkfrost and Tigerstar!
Dovepaw: *gasps* Ivypaw, don't say that!
Brambleclaw: *does a double take on Ivypaw* Wh-what?
Ivypaw: I don't like repeating myself! *pauses* And you can't make me!
Brambleclaw: Your StarClan cat is Hawkfrost?
Ivypaw: *sticks out tongue* I said I'm not telling you!
Dovepaw: That's a weird name.
Ivypaw: You have a weird name!
Dovepaw: I'm a bird, and you're ... a plant.
Ivypaw: You're a bird's paw!
Dovepaw: You're an ivy's paw.
Ivypaw: *thinks* Well, Briarlight's a briar's light!
Brambleclaw: Will you two be quiet?
Dovepaw and Ivypaw: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
Brambleclaw: Don't make me have to wake up Firestar. I'll do it.
Dovepaw: I'd really like to see you try. He's a pretty deep sleeper.
Ivypaw: How would you know that?
Brambleclaw: I didn't even know that.
Dovepaw: You didn't? Oh, right ... oops.
Ivypaw: *yells* DOVEPAW HAS A SECRET!
Dovepaw: *blushes* No, I don't!
Ivypaw: Yes, you do! She dreams about Jayfeather!
Dovepaw: *glares at* No, I don't!
Brambleclaw: I'm really going to have to tell Firestar about this.
Ivypaw and Dovepaw: STAY OUT OF IT!
Mousefur: *walking out into the camp* WHO IS MAKING ALL THIS NOiSE?
Dovepaw: It was Ivypaw!
Ivypaw: No, it was Dovepaw!
Ivypaw and Dovepaw: *look at each other* It was Brambleclaw!
Brambleclaw: I was telling them to go back to sleep!
Dovepaw: I was never sleeping to begin with!
Ivypaw: I was commaned not to sleep!
Mousefur: I command you to be QUIET!
Brambleclaw: *clears throat* Mousefur, only I can make an order like that.
Mousefur: *whacks Brambleclaw with a limp squirrel* When you're old like me, you don't need a rank!
Brambleclaw: I ORDER YOU TO NOT DO THAT AGAIN!
Mousefur: *looks at limp squirrel, then whacks Brambleclaw again*

Tigerheart: (Where can I find rabbit pellets? This is so stupid!)
Brightspirit: I can help you find rabbit pellets!
Tigerheart: *sees Brightspirit and blinks a bunch of times* Wow ... you're way hotter than Dovepaw!
Brightspirit: Yes, yes, I get that a lot.
Tigerheart: And you're, like, all sparkly and starry and everything!
Brightspirit: It sort of comes with being dead.
Tigerheart: That's a lie! Dead cats are all sour and ugly and dark and damp and everything.
Brightspirit: *sighs* That's the Dark Forest cats. I'm from StarClan. There is a difference.
Tigerheart: But--
Brightspirit: Do you want the rabbit pellets or not?
Tigerheart: I really don't.
Brightspirit: Then I'm going away!
Tigerheart: NO! I didn't mean that ... I mean ... Okay, I want the rabbit pellets.
Brightspirit: Seek for the wind, and you will find it!
Tigerheart: What's that supposed to mean?
Brightspirit: Use your head, and you'll discover it.
Tigerheart: Use my WHAT?
Brightspirit: You're head. You know, the thing your eyes are attatched to?
Tigerheart: Oh, that. I was told just to use my claws and teeth. And nothing else. And I sort of like it that way.
Brightspirit: Well, to each his own. I really should be going now.
Tigerheart: But--
Brightspirit: *poof*
Tigerheart: Great. How am I supposed to "seek for the wind"? *starts walking aimlessly away from territory*
Tigerstar: *pops up out of nowhere*
Tigerheart: AHH! You need to quit doing that!
Tigerstar: I'll do what I want!
Tigerheart: Okay, whatever. Do you know what "seek for the wind" means? It's so confusing!
Tigerstar: ... Have you been talking about all this medicine-cat-mushy stuff with Flametail again?
Tigerheart: Me? Talk to Flametail for fun? Never! Besides, he went away.
Tigerstar: Oh, right, I forgot. Then, where'd you get those sophisticated words from?
Tigerheart: *thinks about Brightspirit and starts drooling*
Tigerstar: Well?
Tigerheart: *jerks back to reality* Oh, nowhere in particular.
Tigerstar: Psh. Anyway, I have a new mission for you.
Tigerheart: Really? Is it to go sleep?
Tigerstar: *hisses* Real warriors never sleep! Sleeping is a weakness!
Tigerheart: But don't you train me in slee--
Tigerstar: Don't contradict me!
Tigerheart: ... Yeah, whatever. So, what is this "mission" of yours?
Tigerstar: I need you to go and entice Dovepaw to come to the Dark Side.
Tigerheart: DOVEPAW? But she's so ugly compared to that pretty StarClan cat--
Tigerstar: You've been talking to STARCLAN CATS? *sky starts to rumble*
(Dovepaw: Hey, only I can control that! AND I DON'T LIKE THUNDER! *makes the sky glow in funny colors*)
(Kestrelflgiht: Ooh, the sky, it's so prettiful ...
Lionblaze: I want to touch it ...
Kestrelflight: It's so prettiful ... It's the most amazing thing ever ...
Jayfeather: *snorts* Can you two go get a life?
Kestrelflight: No, silly, that's what leaders do!)
Tigerheart: No, just joking with you. Haha.
Tigerstar: *glares at*
Tigerheart: So ... I guess I'll go entice Dovepaw or whatever.