Photo-shoop shoop shoop

Photo-Shoop (Shoop)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vaN01VLYSQ (Shoop by Salt n' Pepa)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNRI7towYtQ (Karaoke)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcJoK600dXw (alt Karaoke)
[Two Femanons are prefered for this song, to play the Xbox and PS4 owners. Also someone to play the PC owner at the end]


Xbox:
(Oooh, what's new here?
No, not pre-rendered - I want the gameplay trailer
Haha, yeah;
What's this called?
damn, that looks smooth)

What’s the word, what’s the word, what’s the word in the room?
Fags, what’s my pleasure? (bloom!)
Okay, been, shillin’, shillin’, shitposting on /v/
Anon, found a link, and what did I see?
I came, I stained, my basement floor
for Graphics like I'd never ever seen bef-ore
crisp, clean (oo) like a dream
optimized for an Xbox machine
A scrub? bub, I'm short funds see,
Don't need a rig when my box looks crispy
I just had to stare at the glare and particles and hair
Atmosphere everywhere, no expense was spared, I pre-
pared my loose cash and preordered it there
Boot-ed the game and I found a nightmare
Lag delay, no god-rays on display, just grey
Lame claim for a game, shame, musta shown a shoop photo-shoop
(Shoop, it’s-a shoop)
(it’s a shoop)
(it’s a shoop, a shoop, a shoop)

PS4:
Umm, It’s shit, I’ll admit, and I got myself tricked,
E3, fell for your greed and now I wanna quit
Eight months on and you re-lease a down-grade
What's that say when it's exclusive made
Like a toaster - ding! What's wrong with this thing?
Your game just broke my machine.

Bug out, plug out, I'm out, game dismissed
What you said was just an empty prom-miss
Well-a, I wanna skybox huge 'cos I splooge for the views
Sad to see I got Rused
Game plays like ass, and collision is trash
Stashes of Cash and still slap-dashed
[Alt: Slap-dashed even with stashes of cash]
Top of the line, works fine, man I got duped
All that it can render is poop, you musta shown a shoop
(Shoop, it’s-a shoop)
(it’s a shoop)
(it’s a shoop, a shoop, a shoop)

Xbox:
Well lemme bring you back to the crime, the loading times
take way too long, make my xbox whine
Now I'm stuck in a loop that's loading
Appalling the lies that we're falling for
(It just works)

Hmm...I'll await the rebate when I return this cheap head ache
(But anon, we’ll patch this mistake)
Gr8 b8 there m8 but you're way too late

PS4:
‘nother year, get ready, spin, the shit in, make a shoop
for the next triple-A bullshit salute,
You stream setpieces, makes me woozy
Pre-rendered beauty, like “playing a movie” -ooo
It's Optimized so poor, I lose frames galore
And on a PS4, it ‘chu-ghu-chugs’
It still plays slow, turned to low [Alt: tastes like crow], and I know
You showed me a shoop
(Shoop, it’s-a shoop)
(it’s a shoop)
(it’s a shoop, a shoop, a shoop)

[E3 soundbytes of lying devs here? Otherwise it's basically a femanon bemoaning the lack of polish in a game]
(Oh God, is there nothing that can save gaming??)

PC:
You console plebs, get off the threads, now
Better bow your heads, hear what the master race says
weak machines can’t have nunnuvit, crashing Just Cause [Alt: Fallout] ’n shit, (hnnggg), while I’m modding it
I got the specs, for tress effects
And my welfare checks Make my the Custom Rig the apex
(Xbox: "REEE" instead of "Yeeeuh!")
Overclock, non-stop hot, like an engine block
[Alt: Add my code, never slowed, can handle any load]
Xbox:
Then why’s it smoking?
PC:
the parts must be broken!
Xbox:
huh, you bought a shoop [Alt: Ebay sold you a shoop]
(Shoop, it’s-a shoop)
(it’s a shoop)
(it’s a shoop, a shoop, a shoop)