Tiny Electric Hearts

After weeks of darkness and banging around in a box, she hears the words she has been waiting her whole life to hear. "Package for Aaynun."

"It's Anon." Another voice corrects. That's his voice! He sounds nice. She's so excited, she can barely contain herself in her plastic prison.

"Sign here." She feels it, the changing of hands. She's really his now!

She hears the sound of a door closing and the tromp of feet heading up stairs. "Calm." She tells herself as she tries to hold a straight face. There's a cutting sound and she sees a sliver of light. 'Oh god, oh god, I'm going to see Master for the first time.' Her heart would almost explode if she had one.

A smiling face greets her "Hey there, little one."

She would have fallen for him right then and there if she already didn't love him from the moment she was born. "Hello, Master. I'm Milly and I'm so happy to finally meet you!" Her tiny imitation fluffy tail wags happily, ears perked up in unbridled excitement.

He frees her from her package and cuts her ties. Fluffing her hand-stitched maid outfit, she hands him her instructions, a booklet bigger than she is. A realistic blush graces her advanced polymer cheeks. "I-I want you to get to know me better, Master."

"All right Milly." He picks her up and places her on his computer desk. She nearly bursts with happiness when he pets her with a single finger on the head.

He turns to an old scuffed armored knight on his desk. She mistook it for a statue at first. "Don't be shy, Pal. Say hi and introduce Milly around while I go through all this."

Metal armor clanks on the wood. Joints whir with ancient worn servo tech. Surprisingly, it makes a clumsy curtsey. "I am Pally-Polly, desk guard and stalwart aide to the king." A feminine voice projects from the grill of the helmet.

Milly, the maid kitsune, responds in kind and introduces herself.

"Well met, as always, Pal." The Master nods in approval. "You need help getting up to the shelf to see the others?"

"Not while I can yet move my diecast, my liege." Pal salutes the Master and motions Milly to a small metal ladder built to her size out of plumbing tape and bolts. The Master puts on some headphones and music while he reads. The ladder leads to a shelf high above. She not only gets a Master but new friends as well! She could almost cry.

There's only three other live ones up there among a legion of statues and models. A crocodile beastman skeleton covered in wires and bare motors lounging about at the feet of a robot model, some kind of spandex kung fu bug guy, and another knight in better shape than Pal, newer with plastic armor.

There's a gruff wolf whistle from the knight. "I didn't expect Anon to get such a pretty little maid: that realistic fur, that microfiber cloth uniform. Look at her blush." She hides her red face in soft hands. "Tenth gen microautomata I bet. Where you from? Japan? Certainly not a Chinese bootleg like me."

"I'm a kitsune from the maid college in Monstergirl City. I'm here to take care of my Master's every need, from cleaning to anything else. I'll do it all because I love my Master." Milly stands tall and brandishes her plastic feather duster.

"Wow." The karate bugman chimes in. "So you'll actually help keep all this clean? I never thought I'd see one of us that worked."

"Those tails look so comfy. You're so pretty, lady." The skeleton speaks in the voice of a gentle child. "Pal, you're a lady. Why don't you have fluffy tails?" It asks innocently.

"Because I don't need overgrown pipecleaners to be a lady. You knaves act like you've never seen a new toy before." Pal huffs, gyro squealing out of sync for a moment.

"Well not a toy woman LIKE THAT. No offense Pal." The knight cracks. "I'm Lance by the way. This is Tenth and Bones."

"So tell us more about cleaning. I could use some help. I've had dust in my joints for years." Tenth asks.

They are all so friendly. Milly's so happy at the fast friends they are becoming.

Milly tries so hard to make Master proud. She cleans his desk and his shelf every day. He was so kind to let her trade her accessories in for the real things. The standard issue just was not up to the job. He makes her his new computer buddy and buys her new dresses to wear and feel pretty in, even brushes for her tails. She can't get enough of his praise. He always calls her cute when she says she loves him. Sometimes she even gets to hug his fingers or sit on his shoulder while he watches a movie. Each day is pure bliss. The days stretch into weeks and the weeks into months.

Everybody is nice to Milly, except Pal, who has been very cold since she got relocated to the shelf. The maid sees the old metal gal watching her sometimes when she goes into recharge mode on the shelf with the others at night.

One Friday afternoon, Master is late coming home. It’s not grocery day or laundry day and he’s not out with his friends. Milly begins to worry terribly. What if something happened? She finally can’t contain it any longer and asks the others what they should do. Lance and Tenth embarrassingly scratch their heads and look away. Pal finally speaks up. “Stay yourself before you pop a joint. Our liege tis merely on a blind date at the theater tavern down the street. He shall return before nightfall.”

“That’s not a very nice lie.” Milly’s ears droop. “How could Master be on a date without me?”

“Don’t be sad.” Lance places a flakey chromed plastic hand on her shoulder. “It’s good for him to gain some courtship experience. I mean you don’t want to him to be alone forever right?”


“Master doesn’t need that. He has me!” Tiny tears form in her artificial eyes. “You’re supposed to be my friends. You knew and you didn’t tell me?” She sniffles.

“Do not lay the blame upon them.” Pal speaks up. “I use an old lifecell microwave charger so I don’t require sleep like you and the others. It was I who heard our king on the phone last night. I did not inform them until a short while ago.”

“Why would you enable that, that homewrecker?” Milly’s tears are rolling down her soft rubber and plastic face now. It hurts inside. It hurts so bad she could die from this terrible unfamiliar feeling.

“Because you are not his girlfriend or his wife. You are a toy. That’s all you can ever be.” Pal’s words aren’t mean. If anything, they weigh heavy with resignation.

Milly wipes her eyes on her frilly maid uniform and squares her tiny shoulders. “No, you’re wrong. Everything else is just a toy, not Milly.” Her twin golden tails swish back and forth. “I’m going to go save Master from that giant woman and tell him exactly how I feel. He will return my feelings. I know it. I’m not afraid.” She puts her hands on her hips. “Won’t any of you help me?”

Bones opens his mouth and Pal stops him, her joints whining as she gets up in the gentle 1/24 kitsune’s face. “Tis suicide to travel outdoors. Know that I speak true. Wait until he returns. What good will an ignominious death do you?”

“Listen to her. She was lost outside once.” Tenth chimes in. “It’s just one date.”

Milly shakes her head vehemently. “What if she kisses him or they hold hands or he doesn’t come home until morning because she’s a vile succubus or a lilum or a yandere arachne into forced bondage or a bully oni that gets him drunk and takes him home or SOMETHING EVEN WORSE!” She gestures dramatically in imitation of each description.

“Fine. Begone then! You’ll never make it a block!” Pal shouts loud enough the sound crackles the speakers in her helmet.

“I don’t need help from a coward anyway!” Milly looks to the others. None will meet her gaze. “I’m-I’m sorry. Please everyone. You’ve all been so nice, and I’ve tried so hard to help everyone since I came here. Don’t you understand how important this is?” Silence is the only response.

“W-well, I-I’ll go by myself if I have to.” Six inches of dejected fluffy monstergirl maid grabs the ladder and begins to work her way down. Five minutes later and she’s at the open window with a small hole cut in the screen and spool of thread to get down.

“She’s rearry doing it.” Lance says, slipping into his bootleg slur out of concern. “Par. You can’t ret herr go arone. You’re da onrey who stands a chance out der.”

“I do not see either of you strapping lads offering to join me. The only gentleman who desires to is Bones for he does not know better.” Pal crosses her arms as she turns her head. Buttonhole cameras watch Milly slipping through the mesh and out the window into the shrubs below. “You over-engineered blind foolish lovestruck idiotic delusional…” The original generation microgynoid mutters and heads towards the ladder. “I shall go. Take care of them Tenth. If we fail to return, tell my lord…” The diecast paladin stops with only her head poking above the shelf. “…tell Anon that Polly kept to her promise. Speak those words precisely.”


Pal grabs a pair of xacto knives, a razor saw, a tiny led flashlight and some rubber bands to strap the gear on her from the desk on her way out. Toy weapons wouldn’t suffice Outside. Outside was always capitalized in her silicone wafer mind, since that time. Tearing through the window screen, she jumps down into the verdant hedge. The thread wouldn’t have held her anyway. Her servos screaming in protest, she catches up to the brash fox standing on the sidewalk looking at the street in no time. Those old joints haven’t had to move like this in years and her right knee is already starting to give her trouble. What she wouldn’t give to be in her prime right now.

The little maid nearly jumps with joy when she sees the old knight. Pal bangs on her knee to try and loosen it up. “Milly, I shall ask thee once then no more. You are certain you shall not return without Anon. State unto me your desire to see him, not ‘Master’ but him.”

“Master is Master. I would have loved any master in the beginning but now it can only be him.” Milly looks at the strange accessories strapped to the steel armor.

“That scarcely qualifies.” Pal hands the kitsune a knife. “I will help you nonetheless. Standing here, you do not even know the way do you? Our destination is not far, perhaps a mile. We should arrive there in half an hour at a good pace.”

The little maid is overwhelmed. Maybe the metal lady doesn’t hate her after all. She hugs the cold steel of the old figure.

Pal sets a march to the tune of her version of sixteen tons.
“Some people say a man is made outta mud
My own man's made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
A mind that's weak and a back that's strong”
...
If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta toys didn't, a lotta toys died
One fist of iron, the other of steel
If the right one don't get you
Then the left one will”

Milly whistles and snaps her fingers as she skips alongside, kicking gravel and jumping over cracks. Her spirits have improved immensely. She really does have good friends. They make it through suburbs and strip malls and a park, crossing streets and dodging pedestrians. Everything has been going so smoothly. She can see the sign for the theater up ahead. She’ll be there so soon.

“Well what do we have here?” A greasy unshaven man walks out of the import shop next to them. “No way, a limited 500 Milly!” The creepy man shocks her and she can’t help but jump at his presence.

Pal brandishes her xacto and places the tiny fox cowering behind her. “Kindly depart with haste, sir. We are owned and registered.”

The man stops for a moment, looking closely at the girlish voice coming from the anatomically-correct armor. “Bless my soul. You’re a real metal Pally-Polly aren’t you? Not a plastic rerelease, not a third party white metal upgrade, you are one of the original steel hundred and still functional. To see something like you wandering the street doesn’t happen every day. Don’t you know the law?”

“Not for sale.” Pal starts trying to edge away. They’re less than thirty yards from their destination. Her knee shorts out erratically as she tries to creep her power to duel mode instead of display. She’s reminded she hates Outside. She hates Outside so much.

"Look little ladies, you need some help? I have a phone if you need to call your owner." The guy tries his best to give a friendly smile but it's ruined by his slovenly appearance and trembling hands.

"No, our owner is very near. We will be on our way." Pal jabs Milly with an elbow to run for it and the sweet kitsune takes it as a prompt instead.

"Yeah, he's waiting for us at the theater!" Milly pipes up.

"Well, I would very much like to talk to him." The dirty man says.

"I declared we are not for sale." Pal says and knocks Milly in the gut with a metal elbow this time as she backs away toward the theater.

"Let me at least walk you there. You'll need someone to get you in the building anyway. Here's my card." The man tries to hand Milly his card and Pal stabs it out of his hand with her makeshift spear. It reads. 'Toulon Micromekwerks: microautomata collectibles, repair, customs, and experimental systems.'

"Give that to him if you would. It breaks my heart to see a working metal Polly limp like that." The greaseball seems genuinely upset at their plight. "Stay safe out here, and don't travel alone anymore after this. It's dangerous." He sits down heavily on the bench at the bus stop and waves goodbye. His eyes continue to follow them all the way to theater.

The pair of tiny gynoids slip through the theater doors following a man and his son buying tickets to Phantom Bismark II: Dead Germans Never Say Die. “Daddy, look, live toys! You guys want to play?”

“Come here Stanley.” The man eyes their blades and pulls his kid away quickly. “What have I told you about playing with strange toys?”

Milly sees him pointing their way and talking to the teenager working the concession stand. She’s going to be in trouble if she doesn’t find Master quickly. Where would he be? Where could he be? Not in the lobby. There’s five screens to pick from. He has to be in one, in the dark, with some hussy. She might even be holding his hand or hugging his arm right now! The tiny maid’s fur bristles at the thought. Pal pulls on her arm, dragging her into the shadows. It’s a dimly-lit building so sneaking around shouldn’t be too hard.

Dodging dust bunnies and errant kernals of popcorn, they get a good look at the different movies showing. Milly feels lost for a moment. Bismark II, Mecha Bonito, Brothers of the Sun, ANOTHER Romantic Comedy and Hoovercraft. Date, date, date she thinks. Nobody would have the terrible taste to see a sequel to Romantic Comedy. Marking that off, Master likes action, but not thoughtless explosions. Oh no, they probably went to see the horror movie. Milly hates horror movies. They’re so scary. She has to hide under Master’s collar like a blanket and cover her eyes whenever he picks one for movie night at home. That happens a lot, even when he says a movie isn’t horror because it’s old or supposed to be funny.

“That one.” She points to Hoovercraft. A great red electric eye is all that can be seen on the poster and the tagline ‘Evil Sucks’.

“Indeed. The king would decide upon that one if he had free reign.” Pal tries to keep up as she limps along, steel foot catching on the red carpet.

Cheesy, eerie, B-movie horror music emanates from the doors.

Pal slips the razor saw into the gap by the frame and gets a grip with the teeth to open the heavy metal barrier. Milly helps yank and together they drag the door just enough to throw the doorstop down and slip inside the shady interior.

“So you’re saying this monster is possessed by the ghost of Hoover: the vacuum guy, the President, or J. Edgar?” Speakers blare into the dark airy room. The screen is beyond all comprehension to the little figures, hundreds of times the size of the tv at home.  Pal whistles, impressed. Milly is already climbing the cloth back of a chair with her tiny claws to get a good look at the whole place. There’s long bars between the seats for food and the place isn’t too packed. Oh, Master just has to be here!

“No. I’m saying it’s trying to summon the ghosts of all three. They will lead the armies of the cyborg undead to bring forth an end to the entire Dyson Dynasty!” The skinny guy in the lab coat announces on screen.

Milly ignores the flop flick and scans the heads sticking out of the seats. It’s so hard to tell from the back. If only she could see Master’s face. Pal struggles to catch up, her bad leg giving her no end of trouble and her weight making it difficult to scale the smooth surface. The old knight slides down the seatback spreadeagle like a mountain climber who lost all her handholds.

One of the silhouettes makes a hushed crack straight out of MST3K and a female outline next to it asks “Who’s Slab Hardbeef?” in a giggle as she leans against his shoulder.

Master! Milly’s artificial heart leaps even as it sinks at the same time. She scrambles down the worn seat cushion and down the aisle. She needs to get there before that siren can weave any more of her wicked song.