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Talvieno

Library Story

Talvieno
Jul 11th, 2019
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  1. [16:25:38] <FemSawer> I'm getting dino to watch "het uur van de prutser" which is the best stand up comedy show I've seen so far
  2. [16:25:45] * Smartflakes_91 ([email protected]) has joined
  3. [16:25:45] * ChanServ gives voice to Smartflakes_91
  4. [16:25:55] <FemSawer> unfortunately, it seems very hard to get, but I'm getting it tomorow for 1,25€
  5. [16:26:33] <Dinosawer> hurray for libraries
  6. [16:26:43] <Talvieno> yay libraries :D
  7. [16:26:43] <FemSawer> yeah
  8. [16:26:54] <FemSawer> got the pattern for my pants-skirt from a library as well
  9. [16:27:06] <Talvieno> we had one just down the road from where I grew up
  10. [16:27:10] <FemSawer> was another thing that wasn't for sale anymore and coulnd't be found for free on the internet
  11. [16:27:29] <Talvieno> was walking distance. which feels bizarre now, living out in the middle of nowhere
  12. [16:27:35] <FemSawer> did you move?
  13. [16:27:39] <FemSawer> or did the library move?
  14. [16:27:42] <Talvieno> yeah, when I was 18ish
  15. [16:27:47] <Naed> booo Talvieno
  16. [16:27:56] <Talvieno> why boo?
  17. [16:28:02] <FemSawer> moving is not ok
  18. [16:28:09] <FemSawer> which is why me and dino moved not too long ago
  19. [16:28:18] <Naed> you had the perfect opportunity to tell a tale about how the library got a allergic reaction to your brothers, grew legs and walked away
  20. [16:28:26] <FemSawer> haha
  21. [16:28:29] <Talvieno> damn it
  22. [16:28:30] <FemSawer> you can still tell such a tale
  23. [16:28:33] <Talvieno> I always miss those opportunities
  24. [16:28:42] <FemSawer> I will pretend I think it's real
  25. [16:28:47] <Talvieno> all right
  26. [16:29:01] * Talvieno leans back in rocking chair, puffs pipe
  27. [16:29:23] <Talvieno> well you see miss, it was back in... what was it now, '53? '54? somewhere yonder
  28. [16:29:25] * FemSawer gathers with the other kids to listen
  29. [16:30:21] <Talvieno> we had a big snow that year, in april. snow wasn't that uncommon 'round those parts, but in april it was, especially the Man-Eating-Snow of '63 - that was a bad one - so this year was a bit more mild
  30. [16:30:39] * Smartflakes_91 has quit (Ping timeout)
  31. [16:30:47] <Talvieno> and so it was that you and your brothers had to walk to school in the snow, every day. up hill, both ways. nasty stuff, and if you slipped you'd roll all the way back to the bottom
  32. [16:31:08] <FemSawer> up hill, both ways :P this is fabulous
  33. [16:31:39] <Talvieno> but there's a trick, see. my brothers'n I discovered that if we attached books to our feet - nice big ones - they'd serve well as snowshoes. we'd just dust 'em off afterwards and chuck 'em back through the window of the library, nobody'd be the wiser. at least that's what we told ourselves
  34. [16:32:02] <FemSawer> is it your brothers and you or me and my brothers? I'm a bit confused
  35. [16:32:26] <Naed> royal you
  36. [16:32:49] <FemSawer> eh, never mind, continue
  37. [16:33:05] <Talvieno> it worked well for a time. we only had to get up at 5am to be ready for the trek to school, with this little library trick. the librarians loved us. didn't have a clue in the world we were chuckin' Clifford the Big Dog and Mabel's Fireside Storytime out the windows into the snow. then we'd pick 'em back up, tie 'em to our feet, and go on. saved us at least an hour, mebbe more
  38. [16:33:06] * Saoirse shakes fist at Microsoft
  39. [16:33:18] * Talvieno puffs pipe
  40. [16:33:28] * FemSawer coughs
  41. [16:33:29] <Talvieno> no, you see miss, there wasn't any "microsoft" back in those days
  42. [16:33:46] <Talvieno> that's one of them newfangled inventions you young varmints come up with
  43. [16:33:50] <Talvieno> now where was I
  44. [16:34:02] <Talvieno> right, the school
  45. [16:34:52] <Talvieno> so, there was this one day we got distracted 'cause our ma forgot to pack our little brother's lunch. we were gonna just make him eat out of the trash can, but my other brother said pa would catch us good for that, so we had to come up with something better
  46. [16:35:27] <Talvieno> and it so happened there were these berry bushes to the side of the trail. we had to hike up a trail, see. they didn't have roads back then. that's another newfangled invention
  47. [16:35:49] <Talvieno> now, we didn't know it at the time, but to get to these bushes we had to tromp straight through a thicket of oniongrass
  48. [16:36:20] <FemSawer> what is oniongrass, grandpa tal?
  49. [16:36:56] <Talvieno> if you've never seen or smelled oniongrass, it's the nastiest stuff, the smell's enough to make your eyes boil from their sockets. if you have heard of it, well... yeah, it's just oniongrass, smells a bit like onions
  50. [16:37:54] <Talvieno> but it was under the snow, see. so we didn't see it. tramped straight over it, got my little brother some berries. and imagine this, after all that work we went through to pick our little brother some berries, he spent the next whole week at home fakin' being sick! can't imagine why. after all that work we went through
  51. [16:38:01] <Talvieno> and we STILL caught it good from pa
  52. [16:38:26] <Talvieno> but here's the big thing, though. it turns out, libraries are highly allergic to oniongrass
  53. [16:38:42] <FemSawer> all libraries?
  54. [16:38:49] * FemSawer listens with open mouth
  55. [16:39:14] <Talvieno> all. libraries. except maybe them newfangled ones. but trust me, they don't make 'em like they used to. I'm not out of touch, it's the children that are wrong
  56. [16:40:08] <Talvieno> anyway, when we chucked our snowshoes - I mean books - back through the window of the library when we got back up the hill that day, the ground started to shake
  57. [16:40:43] <Talvieno> and the library just got up and slid all the way back down the hill, just like that. never seen such a thing in my life before or since.
  58. [16:41:04] <Talvieno> they called it an earthquake later on the news, but I knew the truth
  59. [16:41:17] <Talvieno> it was all 'cause o' them snowshoes and that darned oniongrass
  60. [16:41:19] <FemSawer> Where the librarians still inside?
  61. [16:41:29] <FemSawer> Did you ever see them again?
  62. [16:42:06] <Talvieno> y'know, I think they might have been, now that you mention it, miss
  63. [16:42:30] <Talvieno> because halfway back up the hill, when we followed where the library slid, guess what we found
  64. [16:42:35] <Talvieno> the oniongrass books
  65. [16:42:51] <Talvieno> can't think of no other explanation than the librarians threw them out, knowing the library was allergic
  66. [16:43:24] <FemSawer> woooow
  67. [16:43:57] <Talvieno> and that's the story of why there isn't a library right near my house anymore. but it was there once before, I swear on my pa's grave. and don't you listen to my brother when he says it's my alzheimer's acting up, he can't remember whether I have alzheimer's anyway
  68. [16:44:53] * FemSawer applauds
  69. [16:44:59] * Talvieno is already asleep in the rocker
  70. [16:45:14] * Smartflakes_91 ([email protected]) has joined
  71. [16:45:14] * ChanServ gives voice to Smartflakes_91
  72. [16:45:14] <Naed> and that is what being a GM is all about
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