It's time for some Monster Girl Television.
>Turn on the TV
It's some kind of sports ad. A salamander is talking about her rough life.
>"My family was broken and I lived in a pretty bad area. I remember sitting on the stairs to my apartment, when some boy walked up to me and asked if I wanted to play football."
>"After raping him, I realized I had a talent for raping and football, but mostly raping."
>"So I joined my local Rapeball team and it picked up from there."
>It cuts to a shot of her standing proudly with her team, tail burning brightly.
>'Rapeball Cup 2014' appears at the bottom.
>Change the channel
It's a cooking show called "Cooking with Foxy" and there's a little heart instead of an 'o' in 'Foxy'.
>"It's some very busty Kitsune and her "Attractive Human Assistant: Anon". They appear to be making some kind of cake.
>Foxy has managed to spray whipped cream over her breasts and is complaining dramatically about how she'll ever clean it off.
>Anon is focused, mixing the cake that he hopes to actually be able to make.
>Foxy comes up behind him, pressing her cream covered chest into Anon's back, while wrapping her arms around him.
>"You look like you could use a hand Anon~"
>"I-I-It's fine, I've g-got it, m-m-m-maybe you could prepare the strawberry toppings?"
>"Oh... I wasn't going to use those for toppings..."
>She begins to move her hand into the front of Anon's pants as the live audience cheers and whistles.
>Turn off the television.
You really wish you had cable.

>You've come home from work and it's time for TV.
>Turn it on.
>It's 'Man vs. Monster' hosted by some Bear Grylls doppelganger as he explores the places in the world where the more feral and uncivilized MGs live.
>They appear to be entering a cave.
>"Now in this jungle, the biggest threat is it's abundance of man-hunting predators, the Big Cat Girls here can easily outrun and overpower a man by himself. Locals in this area have learned to band together and travel in groups, but unluckily we don't have that luxury."
>"One place they won't follow you however is a cave like this large one here, but it's not because they're afraid of the dark."
>After the camera switching to night-vision and some spelunking they end up in a very open cavern, Grylls motions for the cameraman to stop. And motions to the ceiling, speaking in a hushed voice.
>"Ya see that? Bat Girls, probably hundreds of them, it's often best to not dwell in here for long, they have very sensitive hearing, especially to high frequency sounds."
>As if on cue, the camera lets out a 'low-battery' beep. Thousands of eyes open and shine in the camera's night vision.
>"We're in a bit of a pickle now, unfortunately it's too dangerous to stumble your way out of the cave, running away only excites them further. The best thing you can do is find a comfortable spot on the cave floor here, this patch of moss will be comfortable to lie down on your back. Stay still, be calm and make sure you have water to keep hydrated. This will take up a day's worth of supplies, but it's much better than 3 days if you resist."
>You change the channel just as the Bat Girls descend on him and the Camera man.
>It looks like some infomercial, a skinny looking Cyclops girl is on the beach with what you presume to be her husband, when an Oni walks up to them and promptly bullies her, telling her husband to get with a real woman.
>The Cyclops turns to the camera with tears in her eye.
>"Having trouble defending your lover? Dragon dragging away your date? Minotaur making a 'moove' on your man?"
>The Cyclops nods.
>"Well why take it? Buy Tanuki's Titan body-building supplements and muscle in on the competition!"
>The Cyclops takes the supplement and magically becomes a muscular and powerful.
>It cuts to her throwing the Oni into the ocean before flexing in front of the camera.
>Her husband looks nervous.
>"Why be tiny when you can be a titan?"
>"Disclaimer:Tanuki'sTitanbody-buildingsupplementdoesnotactuallymakeyouxboxhugesideaffectsmayincludemusclecrampsnauseahand-holdinganduncontrollableangerconsultyourdoctorbeforeuse."
>You turn off the TV.
>Maybe you should just get started and making dinner.