#Flarp2 - Session 39

<Jaspersprite> *** The party stands in a forest clearing, just outside of a particularly curious natural cave opening. A gust of wind rustles the leaves on the trees that surrounded the party, the sun still very much so out-- thankfully enough. Just imagine the trouble of being stuck in the dark in the wilderness like that! It'd be such an inconvenience.
<Jaspersprite> *** You know, getting eaten by a bear can be such a monkey wrench in your plans.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunknasty Just puts the motherfuckin' harsh on you, when that happens.
-*- ZeeZee has dealt with bears before! ... Sort of.
-*- MrStrider ive babysat a child before
-*- MrStrider is there a difference
-*- tenaciouslyCrunknasty Depends on how big and hairy the motherfuckin' kid is, I guess.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunknasty I know /I/ used to run around in the wilderness and eat berries and shit when I was a kid. That's how bears do, right?
-*- tenaciouslyCrunknasty Shit, where'd dogbro go? He can't go up in that cave by himself.
<Jaspersprite> *** The party stands around silently as they converse telekinetically. Crickets sound in the backround.
-*- ZeeZee welp...
-*- tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee wanders into the cave, stops to squint, then whips out his trusty lighter. His thumb partially obscures the hatchetman logo as he lights something that is NOT a blunt, but a crude torch. How long have you been carrying that around, dude.
-*- ZeeZee follows after his friend. "2o plea2e remiind me what we're doiing here agaiin?"
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty> Lookin' for some motherfucker what got lost in the woods.
<ZeeZee> ... ii 2ee.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty> Dogbro tracked some smell here, so.
<ZeeZee> and they're 2uppo2edly iin thii2 cave?
-*- tenaciouslyCrunknasty Gamzee shrugs elaborately, nearly smacking the cave wall with the torch.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty> Fuck, probably.
<ZeeZee> then let'2 get goiing.
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty> And if not, maybe we can make some wicked-ass cave paintings.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunknasty ENTERS CAVE
<ZeeZee> do you even have any paiint?
-*- Jaspersprite is typing uou]]
<Jaspersprite> *** Gamzee and Sollux enter the--
<Jaspersprite> *** pAUSE........
<-- MrStrider (Mibbit@67-60-250-17.cpe.cableone.net) has quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
<-> ZeeZee is now known as KnightStrider
<-> Jaspersprite is now known as calamitousGodlyhood
<-> KnightStrider is now known as MageCaptor
<-> calamitousGodlyhood is now known as hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood
<Nitro> [squints]
<Nitro> [what are we doing]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> [[We were waiting for Strider or you to get back because the ammount of players were too low y8]]
<Nitro> [ok uvu How long is Strider probably gonna be?]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> [[Nnnnot sure! o: Though since we have enough players now we can totally start the session up again ouo]]
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty> dude's also watchin a movie)
<tenaciouslyCrunknasty> yiss :3)
<MageCaptor> (Works for me.)
<Nitro> [I am cool with that.]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> [[Great. uvu]]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** uNPAUSE.........
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The cave is, surprisingly, not quite dark enough to warrant a light-- but the extra illumination certainly helps with examining the natural opening more thoroughly-- plus, that shit's straining on your eyes. Once in the cavern, Gamzee along with the rest of the party can well see that they're already confronted with a decision! Three other tunnels (Exclud
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> ing the exit) branch off into other parts of the cave, far too dark to take a gander at from where they are currently. Pebbles, the occasional rock and dead leaves litter the floor liberally.
<MageCaptor> ... okay then... whiich way do we go??
--> tenaciouslyCrunk (Mibbit@208.86.8.234) has joined #Flarp2
<tenaciouslyCrunk> derp got kicked
<tenaciouslyCrunk> or rather
<tenaciouslyCrunk> replaced
<tenaciouslyCrunk> by myself
<tenaciouslyCrunk> hey, me
-*- MageCaptor ho shit.
<Nitro> <hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The cave is, surprisingly, not quite dark enough to warrant a light-- but the extra illumination certainly helps with examining the natural opening more thoroughly-- plus, that shit's straining on your eyes. Once in the cavern, Gamzee along with the rest of the party can well see that they're already confronted with a decision! Three other tunnels (Exclud
<Nitro> <hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> ing the exit) branch off into other parts of the cave, far too dark to take a gander at from where they are currently. Pebbles, the occasional rock and dead leaves litter the floor liberally.
<Nitro> <MageCaptor> ... okay then... whiich way do we go??
<tenaciouslyCrunk> <3
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Gamzee turns to the wise and clever DOGBRO. "What you think, motherfucker?"
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Also, music for ~*ambience*~ of course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Di0t9RSDfU&feature=relmfu
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-*- hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood Apparently too much ambience--
<MageCaptor> (FFF)
<Nitro> Halley marched onward, confidently heading down the right (as in, directional right, though if it's the correct one that would be cool too) tunnel. No sense in lollygagging about gawking in the dark like a bunch of fools! Weve got adventuring to do chaps. Onward and upward!
-*- MageCaptor follows after Halley quietly, looking around the tunnel as he did so.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Gamzee holds the torch high, examining the walls for any existing WICKED PAINTINGS.
<Nitro> [> Gamzee: Find Native American cave drawings.]
<Nitro> [*Native Econian]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> [[Pfffff]]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Gamzee finds that the walls are covered in RATHER CRUDE PAINTINGS depicting their FUTURE.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** ... Ahah only no. Not every cave is going to have wicked paintings-- was worth a search, though.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Aww. Oh, well.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Not all is lost. It just means that there is more room for POINTLESS GRAFITTI.
-*- MageCaptor good Gamzee good.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk He idly traces squiggles, faces, and handprints on the wall as they go. GaMzEe WaS hErE (o:
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The party heads down the rightmost passage, each step taken echoing loudly throughout the cavern. As they go deeper, the darkness grows more intense, engulfing the majority of the cave-- or so it would, if it were not for Gamzee's INCREDIBLY SHITTY TORCH. The space that the party finds themselves doesn't immediately come off as out of the ordinary-- pebbl
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> es, broken twigs and the sort litter the floor in an unkempt pile of clutter. The fact that it /does/ look like this signals that no other life is in here by any chance-- a disappointment or a reassurement. However, something particularly notable can be spotted right at the farthest end of the cavern; a single PRESERVED MELON sits alone.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** How the fuck did a PRESERVED MELON get here.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Did the PRESERVED MELON roll here from Havre.
<MageCaptor> how the fuck diid that get here?
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Did it run away from home because it's parents didn't understand it.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Miracle provisions from the cave, bro. It /knows/ it has found itself some motherfuckers who love them some melon.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Look at how perfect that shit is.
<MageCaptor> okay 2ure but do we have anythiing two cut iit open wiith?
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Ain't even lopsided. Ain't even got a bruise.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> ...Damn, I know I ain't.
<MageCaptor> ii certaiinly don't.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> And if we smash it, it'd get all covered in dirt and twigs and shit.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Let's bring this happy motherfuckin' fruit to one of our sword havin' brothers.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> I'd say Kansis too, but like. I seen her cut a melon with a chainsaw before.
<MageCaptor> alriight but that 2hould probably waiit untiil after we fiind the mii22iing guy...
<tenaciouslyCrunk> We didn't really eat that motherfucker so much as wear it.
<Nitro> [> WV: Be in cave.]
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Cool, cool.
<Nitro> [> Pumpkin: What pumpkin?]
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Gamzee ventures forth to retrieve the MIRACLE MELON
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** whAT MELON--
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Oh fuuuuu
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Only no, that schtick has been played out /countless/ times already. Gamzee retrieves the PRESERVED MELON from it's spot just at the other side of the cave-- however, upon removing it, he exposes a small hole just in the stone wall to the almost stagnant cave's air... and upon being exposed to light causes the NEST OF HORRENDOUSLY POISONOUS SPIDERS to esc
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> ape. The party is under siege by sPIDERS. They have no hope, give up immediately.
-*- MageCaptor can act as a LIVING BUG ZAPPER and zap those things to death via psionics if they even touch him, right, right?
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Hey, your funeral. uwu
-*- MageCaptor will only do so if they touch him. :B
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Gamzee drops the TAINTED MELON right the fuck back onto the hole, hopefully barring the escape of MORE SPIDERS. "Motherfuuuuuck!"
-*- MageCaptor zappity zap zap.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** You pray that nobody has arachnophobia in your group, and at the same time wish Vriska was here-- she could probably just talk with the spiders and convince them to leave. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMw6GYhOcds&feature=relmfu
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** And yes, yes this is a bATTLE. Gamzee drops the melon like it's hot-- surprisingly not breaking it in the process, but managing to at the same time crush a few of the arachnids underneath it. However, it doesn't by any means stop the poisonous fiends entirely!
<Nitro> Halley had a thick ARMOR OF FUR AND LEATHER to defend him from these horrific invaders, but that didn't stop him from freaking out. He backpedaled., having no idea how to react to these creatures. He couldn't exactly bite them!
<tenaciouslyCrunk> enemy turn, or can i post another action?)
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> [[I'd go with enemy turn P:]]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> [[>Spider Fight: Take an hOUR]]
<MageCaptor> (FFFF)
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Sollux more than easily zappity zaps the encroaching arachnohoard, electrocuting them to a fine crisp-- but still did more come right out of the hole in the cave's wall, startled as much as the party was. Halley does the expected and chICKENS OUT EEK KILL IT KILL IT.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Enemy turn.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The HORRENDOUSLY POISONOUS SPIDERS scitter over and close the distance between the party members and their once-perfectly-hidden nest. As a small group, a few spring right off of the cave's stone floor and manages to /bite/ Sollux square on the ankle! The venom quickly spreads as the dual-sighted troll is now POISONED. Halley, being protected by a FUR & L
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> EATHER COMBO, is perfectly safe however.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** He'll casually be safe as he watches the two party members die slowly.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Good dog, best team player.
<Nitro> [> Halley: Be the only one who can safely combat this menace.]
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** End turn.
<Nitro> [> Halley: Suffer cRIPPLING ARACHNOPHOBIA.]
-*- MageCaptor winces as he feels the bite. "2hiit!" he hisses out before doing his best to zap more of the encroaching spiders before the venom takes effect.
<Nitro> Halley was still kind of fREAKING OUT about the spiders swarming them. Oh almighty Dog did one just land in his fur, gET IT OFF GET IT OFF NEED TO ROLL HNNNNN
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Gamzee recalls his last encounter with a swarm of deadly insects, and casts DOZE while hopping around on one foot like an idiot.
<Nitro> Halley flops over and rolls, attempting to slay a probably imaginary spider. It is hard to tell if any spiders were in the vicinity to be crushed by his freakout.
<-> You are now known as Lord_English
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Sollux, with the assistance of his telekinetic abilities, reduced yet another few attacking arachnids into a scorch mark on the cave's floor. Gamzee casts their spell, DOZE on the assaulting swarm... but it unfortunately has no effect whatsoever! His hopping around manages to stomp a few poisonous foes into the ground however. Meanwhile, Halley rolls over
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> while any spiders in the vacinity...
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** /Played/ /dead/.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The swarm was /quite/ notably smaller in size now, but still ever so present.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Enemy turn.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Despite their laughable size, the venemous insects were still oh so dangerous-- especially in high numbers. While most scitter around in anarchy, a few manage to successfully-- oh dammit dog. /Dog/. Stop-- stop /rolling/ it is-- dammit, /dog/, just--
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** They attempt to bite the canine cadaver-to-be, but it's no use. They cannot. Escape. The /rolling/.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Mother /fuck/.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** End turn.
<Lord_English> [gOOD DOG.]
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Motherfuck indeed, arachnibros. This is Gamzee's exact sentiment as he rushes toward Sollux and Halley in an attempt to grab them and abscond like a champion.
-*- MageCaptor is indeed grabbed and dragged off, zapping any spiders that may chase after them.
<Lord_English> Halley was still a bit busy FLAILING AROUND, and could neither help nor resist if grabbed and dragged away. He was, regardless, covered in spider guts. Ewwww.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The party...
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** ... Successfully *A*B*S*C*O*N*D*S*!
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** From the *S*P*I*D*E*R*S*!
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** *H*E*R*O*S*!
-*- MageCaptor bravely ran away away.)
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Damn, spiderbros, why you got to be so /aggressive/?
<tenaciouslyCrunk> I guess that was their motherfuckin' melon.
<Lord_English> [I abscond from the spiders all the time ok??????]
<Lord_English> [They are not very nice.]
-*- MageCaptor agreed.)
<MageCaptor> 2o iit would 2eem... ii thiink ii got biit two...
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The party arrive back in the very first cave-- though, 'arrive' sounds a bit too elegant. A better way to say it would be 'Gamzee carries the party into the first cave as they sprint fom spiders'.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Sollux knows what he must do. He has to AMPuTATE HIS ANKLE BEFORE THE POISON SPREADS.
-*- MageCaptor DAMN YOU SPODERS.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** THE PARTY FINDS A SAW ON THE CAVE FLOOR. YOu ARE WELCOME.
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* Topic for #Flarp2 is "Welcome to #Flarp2 ! | Please keep in mind that this is a moderately SFW room, and it would be preffered to keep it as that. | Fill out the character template to start playing! ( http://pastebin.com/EF96XdN2 ) | Inventory and finished character sheets here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O56j8pU3M7e_2drZtQoczC8UcWR-KcGpYKiljZNcK_s/edit?pli=1"
* Topic set by Jaspers|turntableGeneration on Mon May 14 04:04:31 2012
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* Channel #Flarp2 created on Fri May 25 12:36:56 2012
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> [[Welcome back, Nitro .o.]]
<MageCaptor> (Weebles! Wobble but they never fall down!!)
<MageCaptor> ju2t a biit ii thiink...
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-*- tenaciouslyCrunk With the experience of many a stoned trip into the woods to guide him, Gamzee checks each of the small party for any residual spiders.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The spiders have made a nest in Gamzee's fro. This is their home now.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Spiders are you gonna be cool and not bite the everloving shit out of me?
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** ... Well, no, perhaps not every spider-- but he's bound to find ONE in there, without question. Though, chances are it'll probably end up dying in there on it's own. The spiders
<tenaciouslyCrunk> We got some house rules up in this bitch.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** They don't make no promises By
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Rule one, no cobwebs in a brother's nose. That shit irritates my sinuses like a motherfucker.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Rule two, no bitin' a brother on the head. And why did y'all even bite us in the /first/ place. It's like. /Why/, y'all?
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Gamzee talks animatedly to a spider that is probably on his forehead or something.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Is that the venom already taking effect?
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Or does he expect the spider to give him a STRAIGHT GODDAMN ANSWER
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** You were up'nd steppin' on their turf. Bitch, they're packin' heat. Heat in the form of deadly venom. They don't say this, though.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** For they are a measly spider.
<Nitro> [> Gamzee: Commune with animals.]
- {Day changed to Thu Jul 19 00:00:00 2012}
-*- MageCaptor was Gamzee even bit?
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** Shockingly, no. The spider's been having trouble trying to find an ounce of flesh to /bite/ in this damn hair.
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** They found everything /but/ skin, though.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk It would only add another soporific/possible hallucinogen to his bloodstream.
-*- MageCaptor so then yes, Gamzee wants a STRAIGHT GODDAMN ANSWER.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Why couldn't y'all just share your miracle fruit? Not like y'all even eat a goddamn melon.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Was it bait for some motherfuckin' flies? Do flies even /go/ into caves?
<hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood> *** The party is attacked by a swARM OF FLIES
-*- MageCaptor GOD DAMNIT.
-*- Nitro sOB.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk >Lead flies into battle against spiders.
-*- hJaspers|calamitousGodlyhood >Gang war ensues
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Shit, I forget what you do with spider bites.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Do you like. Suck out the motherfuckin' poison?
<MageCaptor> ii2n't that what you do wiith hii22 bea2t2?
<Nitro> Halley, were he a human or had he the ability to think and act as a human, would point out that they probably have healing elixirs left. As it is, he merely stared into space, traumatized by the spider assault.
-*- tenaciouslyCrunk Gamzee is carrying exactly none of the healing potions.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> Well, yeah, but I seen it done for a scorpion.
<tenaciouslyCrunk> I guess it wouldn't hurt any to give it a motherfuckin' shot. Where you bit at?
<MageCaptor> my ankle ii thiink.