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fluffyscribe

Rainbow Fluffy

Sep 2nd, 2012
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  1. >Be a father. Daughter just turned six.
  2. >Begs you every day for a "Fluffy Pony" since she saw the commercial.
  3. >Finally cave in and buy one from the Hasbro store.
  4. >Dark blue pegasus mare. Came with a Fluffy Pony Owner's Manual.
  5. >Daughter is thrilled beyond belief.
  6. >Both daughter and fluffy pony spend hours telling you they love you more than anything.
  7. >feelsgoodman.jpg
  8. >Daughter spends every waking moment with her fluffy pony.
  9. >Tea parties. Fluffy pony chews on plastic cups and daughter giggles.
  10. >Hide and Seek. Fluffy hides by covering her eyes with her hooves.
  11. >TV. Daughter and Fluffy both giggle hysterically at MLP:FIM.
  12. >Two weeks go by. Notice how fat fluffy is getting.
  13. >Owners Manual specific how much to feed them.
  14. >Accuse daughter of sneaking her too many sweets.
  15. >Daughter cries, insisting she's not.
  16. >Another few days, fluffy pony is too fat to stand. Teats are swollen.
  17. >Owners manual says this is normal... for pregnant mares.
  18. >Goddamn Hasbro sold you a pregnant mare!
  19. >Daughter begs you to let her keep the babies.
  20. >Mare is confused by the conversation. "Daddeh take babehs? No!! No take babehs!"
  21. >Fluffy starts sobbing, tries to run away. Legs don't touch ground.
  22. >The stress puts her into labor.
  23. >Lock daughter in room as you deal with the horrifying mess that is fluffy pony birth.
  24. >Fluffy cries and whimpers as you help her. "Pwese no take babehs. Fwuffy good mummah, pwomise! Pwese!"
  25. >Pet her and tell her to calm down.
  26. >Only one light-blue foal comes out. Fluffy mare deflates and coos in exhaustion as the foal suckles on her.
  27. >"Fwuffy wuv babeh.... pwetty babeh... wuv babeh..."
  28. >She looks up at you. "Wuv babeh, daddeh? Am good mummah."
  29. >Uhu. Let daughter in. Tell her only one baby is easy enough, and they can both stay.
  30. >Happy ending.
  31. >Kind of.
  32. >A few days go by. Newborn foal is cleaned up and getting its fluff.
  33. >A light-blue fluff with a rainbow mane. A light-blue pegasus with a perfect rainbow mane...
  34. >Daughter names her "Rainbow."
  35. >You're daughter's obsessed with MLP, and you know the foal looks exactly like Rainbow Dash.
  36. >Maybe Hasbro designed fluffies to frequently look like the mane six?
  37. >As daughter, fluffy and Rainbow play hugs in the living room, check internet for details.
  38. >HOLY CRAP! Turns out even Hasbro couldn't get a consistant results with color and race.
  39. >Collectors offer upwards of $10,000 for any fluffy identical to the mane six.
  40. >Then see the Rainbow Dash fluffy listings.
  41. >$25,000. 25K for a perfect match of Rainbow Dash. Rainbow manes are that rare.
  42. >Pick up your jaw from the floor and stare into living room.
  43. >Daughter is gently petting Rainbow. Both Fluffy and Rainbow are cooing and flapping their tiny wings in bliss.
  44. >"Fwuffy wuv mummah! Mummah make babeh happy! Wuv babeh. Wainbow pwetty."
  45. >Rainbow has learned some words. "Wuv mummah! Wingies! Wuv wingies! Hungy!"
  46. >That fluff ball is worth $25,000. You call the collector immediately.
  47. >Sneak into daughter's room when they're sleeping.
  48. >Daughter's asleep under her MLP blanket. Fluffy is snoozing in her pile of blankets.
  49. >Rainbow is nestled so deep in her mother's fluff you almost don't find her.
  50. >Gently pick up Rainbow without waking her, put her in a tupperware bin, speed her to the collector.
  51. >One transaction later, you have $25,000 sitting in your savings account.
  52. >But naturally.... "Whewe babeh?!" Fluffy sobs hysterically, looking everywhere for Rainbow.
  53. >Daughter is crying too. Rainbow Dash is her favorite character...
  54. >Don't have the heart to break the news to her, but you know you did the right thing.
  55. >That fucking fluffy pony is paying for her college tuition, dammit.
  56. >Fluffy mare cries and sobs for days. Daughter cries with her. Mindlessly depressing sight.
  57. >Daughter eventually gets over the missing foal. Fluffy doesn't.
  58. >"Let's have a tea party!"
  59. >"Fwuffy no wan' pawty! Wan' babeh! Whewe Wainbow! Wan' Wainbow!"
  60. >Daughter can't watch MLP without fluffy wailing in agony whenever Rainbow Dash is on screen.
  61. >Fluffy Owner's Manual says mares aren't likely to get over losing a foal unless they saw it die with their own eyes.
  62. >If it just vanished, they'll spend their short lifetime looking for it.
  63. >Daughter tells you Fluffy is no fun anymore.
  64. >Kiss her on the forehead, tell her you love her, and will find a good home for fluffy.
  65. >The local fluffy pound is a depressing sight. Thousands of fluffy ponies, three crammed into cages that barely accomadate one. All of them beg and cry for a new daddy as you talk to the clerk.
  66. >"Why scawy pwace, daddeh?" Fluffy cries. "Wainbow hewe? Pwese, fwuffy wan' Wainbow!"
  67. >Roll your eyes. "Yeah, fluffy. These people will help you find Rainbow."
  68. >Clerk raises an eyebrow at you as your fluffy cheers eagerly.
  69. >Just shrug and acccept the trade.
  70. >Driving home with two fluffy ponies in a kennel. One is a red unicorn, the other's a purple earth pony.
  71. >They're hugging each other and can't seem to stop saying how much they love you.
  72. >Your old fluffy will probably spend the rest of her life in a filthy cage, desperately crying for her missing foal.
  73. >Who knows what will happen to Rainbow. What do collectors do with valuable fluffy ponies anyway? Give them to spoiled rich kids? Have them stuffed? Fuck them?
  74. >Decide not to overthink it.
  75. >Daughter is more than thrilled when you get home.
  76. >Two new fluffy ponies who are more loveable than that old one.
  77. >Daughter tells you a thousand times she loves you and you're the best daddy in the world.
  78. >Life is good.
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