Trans-dimensional Relationship Issues.

Prompt
>Anon and Twilight are in a transdimensional long-distance relationship
>Twilight has to endure constant ridicule from her friends who think she's bullshitting to justify her continuing virginity
>Twilight brings him across the impossibly vast gulf of time and space to rub him in their faces
>And to rub his face in her genitals

>Anon sits down with his magical notebook for another night with his new girlfriend
>He's reasonably certain that he's gone insane, but w/e
"Hello? Twilight, are you there?"
>After a few moments, elegant cursive writing appears in the book
>"Anon! It's so good to see you again!"
>"Well, not 'see' exactly, but you know what I mean."
>"I missed you."
"I'm sorry, but I had to visit my family down in Texas, and I'd really like to avoid explaining the notebook that I'm dating to them."
>"*giggles* I know what you mean, I told my friends about you and they haven't stopped making fun of me ever since!"
"Well we don't have magic here, so I'm less worried about ridicule than getting thrown in a loony-"
>"Hey, um, Anon..."
"How did you interrupt me in text?"
>"I was thinking, you know...when other couples are together for as long as we've been they usually...do sex together..."
"That's kind of hard to do through a notebook, Twi."
>"Mmm, I bet it's real hard~"
>....
>"T-through the notebook..."
"What are you doing?"
>"I heard that sometimes some couples who are apart for a long time will write sexy letters to each other and...
>"...M-masturbate to them. But we can write to each other at the same time, so maybe we can..."
>"M-m-masturbate together?"
"Why are you writing like you're stuttering? It's text, just write what you want to say."
>"Sorry, I thought it would be cute."
"It probably would be in real life, but it's kind of annoying in text."
>"...I want to see you."
"I want to see you too. I'm sorry if I opened the wound again."
>"It's okay, I'm working on it! I've almost got it figured out, but for now, do you want to try masturbating with me?"
"Sure, why not?"
>"I had fun at dinner tonight~"
"So we're just going straight into it?"
>"Shhh, don't break character!"
"Uh, yeah dinner was nice. Almost as nice as dessert will be."
>...
"~"
>"I can't wait to take a bite~"
>"I wrap my forelegs around your neck, and press my muzzle against your lips."
"Wait, what?"
>"It's a kiss, Anon I'm kissing you. I know you said you were a virgin, but you have to know what a kiss is, right?"
"Not that, the forelegs and the muzzle thing. What are you talking about?"
>"...Oh no..."
"Oh no what? What's going on?"
>"I forgot to tell you before...It's probably even worse that I have to tell you now when your penis is in your hand."
"My penis is still in my pants, Twilight."
>"What? We were supposed to be doing it together! I'm over halfway to happytown and you haven't even bought your ticket yet?"
"Just tell me what you were supposed to tell me, Twilight."
>"I'm not technically a human like you, Anonymous."
"What? Technically?"
>"In my world, there aren't any humans. Instead, the planet is shared by multiple sapient races. Griffons, Dragons, Minotaurs, and Ponies like me."
"You're a pony? Like, a tiny horse?"
>"I'm a Unicorn, to be specific. There are also Pegasus Ponies and Earth Ponies."
>A series of doodles depicting the three species of ponies appears on the page
"Oh my god."
>"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Anon...b-but I'm still the same person you fell in love with, I promise!"
"This is a lot to take in. First I had to accept this magical penpal stuff, and now this?"
>"I'm so sorry, Anon. Please..."
"I need a minute, Twilight."
>Time passes agonisingly slow for Twilight as she stares at the painfully blank page
>Tears well up in the corners of her eyes, but she quickly wipes them away
>She didn't want to risk Anon seeing them if they fell on the page
>Finally, his words burn themselves into the page once again
"Okay, I just finished googling what a horse vagina looks like. I'm one thousand and ten percent on board"