GAMESTOp BLOWS MASSIVE VEINY COCK by Greg, 2009-11-10, 06:39 PM
As most of you know, today is a very important day in vidya gaming. Modern Warfare 2 comes out today, and I was pretty excited to pick it up; it's one of the ONLY games out of the dozens that I own that other friends of mine at school play regularly. On top of that, it's just an all around perfect multiplayer game with a practically infinite replay value. Even with that being said, I didn't expect the line to extend out to THE ENTRANCE OF THE MALL. That's some serious bullpomegranate. What's also bullpomegranate is not even being able to purchase the game without my dad giving the nerdy GameStop employees the OK. I mean, cut me some slack, I'll be 17 next month! One time I even tried to bypass their little rule by showing them my driver's license (Which states I was born in '92; I was hoping he'd just look at the year without realizing I had a late birthday), but he was one of the very few observant employees, and WOULDN't LET ME GET NINJA GAIDEN 2! I mean, it's just blood! Thanks to NINTENDO, everyone in the world thinks games should revolve around babies! It's horrible! This is completely unrelated, but speaking of Nintendo, did you guys hear that New Super Mario Bros. for the Wii DOESN'T HAVE ONLINE MULTIPLAYER? THAT'S EVEN MORE BULLpomegranate! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, NINTENDO? I MEAN, I OWN A WII NOW, AND I TAKE BACK SOME OF THE THINGS I SAID, EXCEPT FOR IT STILL BEING CASUAL/FOR KIDDIES. YOU KNOW WHO STILL HAS FRIENDS COME OVER TO THEIR HOUSE JUST TO PLAY VIDEOGAMES? KIDDIES, BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND WIFI AND INTERN ET CONNECTIONS! NOT HAVING ONLINE PLAy IN WHAT SHOULD, WITHOUT A GODDAMN DOUBT, HAVE SOME MULTIPLAYER IN IT IS BULLLLLLLSHIIIIIT. YET ANOTHER GAME WITH POTENTIAL COMPLETELY RUINED.

But let's get back to tonight's main pomegranateheap. So this line extends out to the entrance of the mall, so I'm standing there waiting with a bag that contains four old games (Crackdown, Rockband 1 and 2, and Street Fighter IV) and a Rock Band microphone. On top of that, I had $20 to cover whatever costs the used games didn't cover. I mean, those four games and a microphone should cover it, right? I mean, GameStop even said that they'd give you 10% EXTRA CREDIT FOR TRADING IN GAMES! They even give it a nifty name to put emphasis on how YOU GOTTA SELL GAMESTOP YOUR OLd GAMES RIGHTTTT NOOOW. It's called POOOWERTRADE! POWER TO THE P LAYERS SON. So I wait in this line, and I'M ALMOST AT THE ENTRANCE OF GAMESTOP, I'M SO EXCITED! BUT HOLY pineapple WE'RE NOt DONE YET, THE LINE DOESN'T TAKE YOU TO THE REGISTER, THE LINE EXTENDS TO THE VERY BACK OF THE STORE, AND THEN INBETWEEN THE XBOX SECTION, AND THEN YOU ZIGZAG INBETWEEN THE WII AND GAYSTATION SECTION. IT WAS A CLUSTERpineapple OF FAT PEOPLE, NECKBEARDS, AND AN ODD AMOUNT OF WAR VERTERANS. Maybe they were just so excited for CoD, they DRESSED UP AS SOLDIErs, WHAT A GODDAMN INSULT.

SO I'M FINALLY AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE AND I'M READY TO PURCHASE MY VIDEO GAME. I give the guy my four used games and the microphone that I had not once even touched, and you knonw w hat this pineappleer has the nerve to tell me? he says "ALRIGHT, AFTER COMBINING YOUR PRE-ORDER PAYMENT WITH YOUR USED GAMES, YOU NEW TOTAL COMES TO $41.55." WHAT? WHAt I JUST GAVE YOU FOUR GAMES AND A MICRPHONE. A REAL MICROPHONE AND YOU GAVE ME FOURTEEN DOLLARS BACK? IS ROCK BAND REALLY THAT BORING NOW THAT NOBODY WANTS TO BUY IT? AND STREET FIGHTER, A RELATIVELY NEW GAME, SOLD FOR A WHOPPING FIVE DOLLARS. CRACKDOWN MAY BE OLD BUT THEY STILL SELL IT FOR LIKE 17 BUCKS AND THEY PAID ME $3. SO MUCH RAG e ... So you know what I had to do? My dad didn't have any money on him, but my sister was with us, and she had $25. I felt like the such a prick, asking my sister, who is TWELVE YEARS OLD, for monies. She was nice enough to lend me the $19 I needed, and of course, I paid her back as soon as we got home, BUT THIS WHOLE ISSUE COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF GAMESTOP WASN'T SO GODDAMN GREEDY, OH MY GOD THEY SERIOUSLY PAID ME $3 FOR A ROCK BAND MICROPHONE. A REAL WORKING MICROPHONE $3 JESUS CHRIst LICK MY BALLS

IF YOU HAVE VIDEOGAMES BUT DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO GET THE NEW ONE THAT YOU REALLY WANT, DON'T BE A DUMBpineapple AND GIVE THEM YOUR PRECIOUS VIDYA. NEVER SELL YOUR GAMES UNLESS YOU'RE SELLING THEM ON EBAY OR SOME PLACE THAT DOESN'T pineapple YOU BIG TIME. I HAVEN'T EVEN PUT CALL OF DUTY IN MY XBOX YET; I'M LETTING MY SISTER PLAY THE WII SINCE I STILL FEEL LIKE A PRICK... ALL YOUR FAULT GAMESTOP.