Strax Quote Image Generator

<?php
#   error_reporting(E_ALL);

    // While I coded this Drax quote thing, I doubt it's original and I'm sure others exist
    // But this one is mine.
    ## Alex Glanville 2015 - March 21st - http://comicidiot.com/strax.jpg
    ## Inspired by a TI-84+CSE program my friend Daniel, tifreak, created


    // Copied this fucntion from
    // http://www.johnciacia.com/2010/01/04/using-php-and-gd-to-add-border-to-text/
        function imagettfstroketext(&$image, $size, $angle, $x, $y, &$textcolor, &$strokecolor, $fontfile, $text, $px) {
            for($c1 = ($x-abs($px)); $c1 <= ($x+abs($px)); $c1++)
                for($c2 = ($y-abs($px)); $c2 <= ($y+abs($px)); $c2++)
                    $bg = imagettftext($image, $size, $angle, $c1, $c2, $strokecolor, $fontfile, $text);

           return imagettftext($image, $size, $angle, $x, $y, $textcolor, $fontfile, $text);
        }

    // We'll use this for a section below where we need to determine if the first letter is a vowel
        $vowel      = "/^[aeiou]/";
        $font       = "res/monof55.ttf";
        $imgloc     = "res/strax_bg.jpg";
        $fontsize   = 12;
        $StraxIMG   = imagecreatefromjpeg($imgloc);

    // Set this early so we don't get an error later on
        $six        = null;

    // This is part 2 because it's effecively the second part of the string.
    // We need to get this first so we can either display "a" or "an" based
    // on the first letter of the selected phrase.
    ## Begin part 2
        $part       =   array(
            "full-frontal",
            "pincer",
            "surprise",
            "brutally excessive",
            "suicide",
            "multi-pronged",
            "glorious",
            "acid-heavy",
            "immediate",
            "violent",
            "traditional Sontaran",
            "devasting");

        $select     =   rand(0,(count($part)-1));
        $two        =   $part[$select];

    ## Begin Part 1
        if(preg_match($vowel, $two)) {
            $one    = "an";
        } else {
            $one    = "a";
        }

    ## Begin Part 3
        $part       =   array(
            "assault",
            "attack",
            "bombardment",
            "offensive",
            "barrage",
            "charge",
            "strike",
            "operation",
            "manoeuvre");

        $select     =   rand(0,(count($part)-1));
        $three      =   $part[$select];

    ## Begin Part 4
        $four       =   "with";

    ## Begin Part 5
        $part       =   array(
            "laser",
            "berserker",
            "acid",
            "armoured attack",
            "proton",
            "three kinds of",
            "atomic",
            "toxic",
            "explosive",
            "red-hot",
            "thermal",
            "automated fire",
            "cluster",
            "enhanced germ",
            "energy-drink-fueled");

        $select     =   rand(0,(count($part)-1));
        $five       =   $part[$select];

    ## Begin Part 6
    // Since acid appears in both $five and $six here, let's set up a check so
    // the phrase "acid acid" doesn't appear.

            $part       =   array(
                "bees",
                "chainsaws",
                "marmots",
                "acid",
                "monkeys",
                "mines",
                "bombs",
                "snakes",
                "spiders",
                "knives",
                "rockets",
                "sharks",
                "owls",
                "repurposed cybermats",
                "cannons",
                "alligators");

            $select         =       rand(0,(count($part)-1));
            $six            =       $part[$select];

            while($six == $five) {
                    $select         =       rand(0,(count($part)-1));
                    $six            =       $part[$select];
            }

#   if("$five $six" == "acid acid") {$five = "highly acidic";}

    ## Begin Part 7
        $seven      =   "and";

    ## Begin Part 8
        $part       =   array(
            "robots",
            "ninjas",
            "grenades",
            "a dolphin full of napalm",
            "acid",
            "dynamite",
            "xenomorphs",
            "lots and lots of C4",
            "tactical nukes",
            "MacGyver",
            "bio-weapons",
            "rocket launchers",
            "an elephant",
            "a memory worm for afterwards",
            "this pencil");

        $select     =   rand(0,(count($part)-1));
        $eight      =   $part[$select];

        $string1        =   "Might I suggest $one $two";
        $string2        =   "$three $four $five $six";
        $string3        =   "$seven $eight?";
    ## This is the longest the string can be. Uncomment the line below to make sure your image is long enough
    ## This is kinda of not required since I abandonded the single string idea, but I'll leave it in for posterity.
    ##  $string     =   "An traditional Sontaran bombardment with energy-drink-fuelled reporposed cybermats and a memory worm for afterwards";

    ## Create the image!
        list($width, $height, $type, $attr)     = getimagesize($imgloc);
        $white = imagecolorallocate($StraxIMG, 255, 255, 255);
        $black = imagecolorallocate($StraxIMG, 0, 0, 0);

        #imagestring($StraxIMG, $font, 0, 0, $string, $color);
        imagettfstroketext($StraxIMG, $fontsize, 0, 80, 20, $white, $black, $font, $string1, 1);
        imagettfstroketext($StraxIMG, $fontsize, 0, 100, 40, $white, $black, $font, $string2, 1);
        imagettfstroketext($StraxIMG, $fontsize, 0, 120, 60, $white, $black, $font, $string3, 1);
#       imagettftext($StraxIMG, 10, 0, 80, 40, $black, $font,$string);

        // Set the content type header - in this case image/jpeg
        header('Content-Type: image/jpeg');

        // Output the image
        imagejpeg($StraxIMG);

        // Free up memory
        imagedestroy($StraxIMG);

?>