stotch and marsh's excellent adventure pt. 3

[08:18] -- ragingGardener [RG] began pestering justfourWalls [JW] at 20:18 --
[08:18] RG: I AHTE THIS
[08:18] RG: I HATE THIS
[08:18] RG: I LITERALLY HATE YOU
[08:24] JW: that was a wasted effort
[08:24] RG: THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT
[08:24] RG: I SAID
[08:25] RG: "LET ME CUT MY FINGER"
[08:25] RG: BUT NO
[08:25] JW: I TOLD HIM TO FUCKING GO BACK INSIDE
[08:25] JW: BUT NO
[08:25] JW: HE HAD TO WALK ME HOME
[08:25] RG: I'M SORRY MY DAD'S A GOOD GUY AND YOUR SHITTY PLAN FELL APART BECAUSE OF IT
[08:26] JW: WHEN DOES HE EVER WALK ME HOME AFTER WE GET INTO FIST FIGHTS
[08:26] RG: UGGGGHHH
[08:26] JW: EXACTLY
[08:26] JW: THIS WAS ALL HIM
[08:27] RG: WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT
[08:28] JW: THEY'RE SPEAKING IN FRENCH AGAIN
[08:28] JW: I'M LITERALLY SITTING IN BETWEEN THEM
[08:28] JW: SO THEY COULDN'T SIT ON THE COUCH TOGETHER
[08:28] RG: UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
[08:29] RG: i wonder if he'll recognize debbie. i mean, they're technically related, right?
[08:29] RG: this is awful
[08:29] RG: this is the shittiest family reunion ever
[08:29] JW: i told shelly to come home now
[08:30] RG: does shelly know we're related
[08:30] JW: doubt it
[08:30] JW: "shelly come home, stephen and momma are being weird and friendly" "aw, that's so cute!" SHELLY THIS IS OUR MOTHER
[08:31] RG: HOW C AN SHE NOT BE AS CONCERNED AS WE ARE
[08:31] RG: LYNDONS GOING TO CALL YOUR HOUSE
[08:31] JW: MY MOM TOLD ME TO GO ANSWER THE FUCKGIN PHONE
[08:31] JW: SHE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO GET IT
[08:32] RG: THIS TERRIBLE
[08:32] RG: MAKE ONE OF THEM ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE
[08:32] JW: "don't be rude, marsh" why is your dad speaking to me like this
[08:32] RG: HE SPEAKS LIKE THAT TO EVERYONE
[08:32] JW: THIS IS MY HOUSE
[08:33] RG: ANSWER THE PHONE BEFORE LYNDON GETS PISSED
[08:33] JW: FINE FINE FINE
[08:34] JW: "marsh, is my HUSBAND there?" "can u relax for like five seconds i ran up the stairs to answer the phone"
[08:34] JW: i'm so gr8
[08:35] RG: BE NICE TO HIM
[08:35] JW: I AM BUT I'M PISSED OFF THAT MY MOM INVITED YOUR DAD INTO MY HOUSE THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT
[08:36] RG: BGGHGHGHG
[08:36] RG: WHAT'S LYNDON SAYING
[08:38] JW: "i just want to talk to stephen, sweetheart" well you see, lyndon, the problem is that he is currently glaring at me as i attempt to hand him the phone
[08:39] RG: i m going to
[08:39] RG: put my face
[08:39] RG: inside of a hole
[08:39] JW: nvm i got him to take the phone
[08:39] JW: go listen to what lyndon is saying
[08:40] RG: ugghh
[08:40] RG: fine
[08:40] RG: hold on
[08:40] JW: my mom got up to make more tea
[08:40] RG: "Are you alright? Is Marsh alright? When are you coming home?"
[08:41] RG: stares with dead eyes
[08:41] JW: sighs
[08:42] RG: wha t iss my dad saying. is lyndon even giving him the chance to speak. he's just firing questions
[08:42] RG: he looks scared
[08:42] JW: my mom took the phone and is being super nice, and not like the shitty passive aggressive nice
[08:43] JW: she's sending stephen home with tea and stuff
[08:43] RG: ohh
[08:43] RG: thank god
[08:43] RG: the nightmare is coming to an end
[08:43] RG: lyndon looks a little more uhh
[08:43] RG: relieved
[08:43] JW: maybe the family dinner wouldn't be too bad, so he could meet my mom and be more
[08:43] JW: idk
[08:43] JW: relaxed about things
[08:43] RG: yyyeahh
[08:44] RG: lyndon just said goodbye
[08:45] JW: stephen literally just went "oh thank christ you spoke to him"
[08:45] RG: M Y DAD
[08:45] RG: holy fuck
[08:46] JW: MY MOM JUST LAUGHED AND HE JSUT
[08:46] JW: LOOKED SO SURPRISED
[08:46] JW: STOP THIS
[08:46] RG: TELL HIM TO GO HOME
[08:46] JW: I'M TRYIGN
[08:46] JW: SHE HANDED HIM THE TEA???
[08:47] RG: THANK GOD
[08:47] JW: HE IS STILL ON MY PROPERTY, HOWEVER
[08:47] RG: UGGGHHH
[08:48] JW: this is ridiculous
[08:48] RG: i just
[08:48] RG: this has been a terrible day
[08:49] JW: well, at least my mom has a friend, probably
[08:49] JW: imagine being around me and jimbo all the fucking time
[08:50] RG: nnnoooo
[08:50] RG: NO
[08:50] JW: HAHA THIS MEANS YOU'RE RELATED TO JIMBO
[08:50] RG: UGGHH
[08:50] RG: UGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH
[08:50] RG: WAIT
[08:51] RG: THIS MEANS YOU'RE RELATED TO MY DAD
[08:51] RG: HAH
[08:51] JW: who is worse, though
[08:51] RG: i don't want to think about it
[08:51] RG: idk maybe that's why my dad's always tried to keep an eye out on you
[08:51] RG: familial obligation and shit
[08:53] JW: shelly's home
[08:53] RG: can she seperate our parents
[08:53] RG: please
[08:53] JW: immediately, out of stephen's mouth, "OH HEY WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU"
[08:53] RG: SHIT
[08:53] RG: YOU DON'T
[08:53] RG: SAY THAT TO OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS
[08:53] RG: DAD
[08:55] JW: now the three of them are talking
[08:55] RG: wHY IS THIS HAPPENING
[08:55] RG: SHELLY IS A TRAITOR
[08:56] JW: "christian, can you make food for debbie and veronica" I GUESS, MOM
[08:56] JW: I GUESS
[08:57] RG: if i start peeling off my own skin do you think lyndon would make my dad come home
[08:57] JW: DONT FUCKIN DO THAT, DUMBASS
[08:58] JW: i can't be a big brother ever
[08:58] RG: BUT I HATE THIS SO MUCH
[08:58] JW: me too
[09:01] JW: shelly left
[09:01] JW: and i'm stuck in the kitchen
[09:01] JW: ugh
[09:01] RG: you ever wonder what happened in our family that made our dads not like each other?
[09:01] JW: yeah
[09:03] RG: maybe i'll ask him about it, but he doesn't like to talk about personal shit like that
[09:03] RG: at least he likes your mom
[09:03] JW: well, she's not my dad, so i don't see why he wouldn't
[09:03] JW: my mom is great
[09:04] RG: i don't remember much about your dad
[09:04] RG: what was he like?
[09:06] JW: really nice, aggressive when he needed to be?? he was kinda quiet like my mom
[09:07] RG: your entire family's just kinda quiet
[09:07] RG: which is weird because my entire family's loud as fuck
[09:07] JW: how are we even related
[09:07] RG: i don't know, jesus christ
[09:09] JW: they're speaking in french again
[09:09] RG: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
[09:09] RG: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH
[09:10] JW: i asked debbie and veronica if they spoke french and debbie said "bonjour, loser"
[09:10] JW: god
[09:10] RG: she's perfect
[09:10] RG: debbie's a true stotch
[09:10] RG: she should've been born on my side of the family tree
[09:10] JW: this is so weird
[09:10] JW: sisters....................SISTERS
[09:10] JW: THREE OF THEM
[09:11] RG: TWO OF THEM ARE ALSO TECHNICALLY YOUR COUSINS
[09:11] RG: DOES KYLE KNOW ABOUT OUR WEIRD INBRED FAMILY
[09:11] JW: no
[09:12] RG: holllyyy shit
[09:12] RG: hye
[09:12] RG: hey
[09:12] RG: fuck
[09:12] RG: you know what we should name our band
[09:12] JW: what
[09:12] RG: catholic guilt
[09:12] JW: oh ymg o d
[09:13] RG: tell my dad i said hi
[09:13] JW: "that's nice, marsh" why do all adults ignore me
[09:13] RG: i'm guessing this means i'm not grounded
[09:13] RG: nnnice
[09:14] JW: HE IS STILL IN MY HOUSE YOU COCKFUCK
[09:14] RG: yeah
[09:14] RG: that sucks for you, huh?
[09:14] JW: god i hate you
[09:15] RG: that's too bad, cousin :)
[09:16] JW: never speak to me like that again
[09:16] JW: "chris can we play outside" veronica. n o i am not leaving my mom and stephen in here
[09:17] RG: fffuuuucckk
[09:17] RG: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN AFRAID OF LEAVING THEM ALONE TOGETHER FOR
[09:17] RG: my dad is a gentleman
[09:18] JW: ughughu
[09:18] RG: a true stotch man
[09:18] JW: i feel kind of happy bc v called me chris, though
[09:18] RG: you're so gay
[09:19] JW: shrugging emoji
[09:19] RG: i keep picking at my face
[09:20] JW: stop
[09:20] RG: no
[09:20] JW: STOP
[09:20] RG: NO
[09:20] JW: debbie says you need to stop
[09:20] RG: WELL TELL DEBBIE TO MIND HER OWN BUSINESS BECAUSE IT'S NOT HER FACE I'M PICKING
[09:21] JW: "it's his face i'll be kicking in if he doesn't stop"
[09:21] JW: nvm i like her
[09:21] RG: i hat e being related to you
[09:22] RG: i wonder who else i'm related to
[09:22] RG: do i want to know
[09:22] JW: you don't
[09:24] RG: okay
[09:24] JW: how are they still talking
[09:24] JW: what is there to talk about
[09:27] RG: I DON'T KNOW
[09:27] RG: ARE THEY SPEAKING IN FRENCH
[09:27] JW: YEAH
[09:30] RG: FUCK THIS
[09:30] RG: I AHTE MY DAD
[09:30] RG: I'M CUTTING HIS TIES
[09:30] JW: do it
[09:30] JW: wait i heard my name
[09:30] JW: excuse me
[09:31] RG: what
[09:31] RG: what's happening
[09:31] JW: they're still speaking in french but i heard my name
[09:32] RG: have they mentioned it again
[09:32] JW: yes
[09:32] JW: they're talkin shit
[09:32] JW: i feel it
[09:34] RG: how do you just feel something like that
[09:34] RG: you're getting shit talked in french
[09:35] JW: would you be surprised
[09:35] RG: this situation's already extremely weird, so why not?
[09:36] JW: you know what's really weirding me out
[09:37] JW: the day basically began with my mom being scared of him, and now they're like. comfortable with eachother
[09:37] RG: but not the part where we found we're kin
[09:37] JW: nah
[09:39] JW: it's seriously weirding me out bc they talk like they've been friends for-fucking-ever
[09:41] RG: where's your mom from?
[09:42] JW: louisiana
[09:42] JW: like, deep south
[09:44] RG: holy shit
[09:44] RG: how did your parents even meet
[09:45] JW: she went on a trip to grand junction, and he and jimbo used to drive there to work odd jobs
[09:47] JW: then my grandpa got a transfer to some big job up in denver, and ever since she went on that trip they used to write letters and stuff to eachother
[09:47] JW: so it was kind of easy to like. idk. meet up
[09:47] RG: you said she was pretty young, right?
[09:47] JW: yeah
[09:48] JW: she used to come to NP a lot to hang out with my dad before he knocked her up, so
[09:49] RG: romantic
[09:49] JW: yeah
[09:50] JW: jimbo used to beat the shit out of people who'd mess with her whenever she was around
[09:50] JW: i can see why people like my ma, but.............too much
[09:51] RG: too much what?
[09:51] RG: oh
[09:51] RG: ugh
[09:51] RG: i'm tired
[09:51] JW: go to sleep??
[09:51] RG: nahh
[09:51] RG: i wanna bother my dad when he comes home
[09:52] JW: for WHAT
[09:52] RG: make fun of him
[09:52] RG: he doesn't have a lot of friends, lyndon has to force him to try and get along with people
[09:52] RG: we're so much alike sometimes it concerns me
[09:54] JW: i just yelled "SPEAK ENGLISH" and your dad just glared at me
[09:54] RG: don't
[09:54] RG: do things
[09:54] JW: why not
[09:55] RG: because don't
[09:55] JW: .....what
[09:56] RG: don't
[09:56] RG: i'm feeling clingy
[09:56] JW: disgusting
[09:56] RG: can you link me to that website that talks about detoxing and hsit
[09:56] JW: sure
[09:56] JW: let me find it
[09:59] RG: lyndon wants to come over
[09:59] RG: i might fall asleep in your bed if we do
[09:59] JW: gross
[09:59] RG: i love you, cousin babe :*
[09:59] JW: YOU'RE FUCKIN NASTY
[10:00] JW: http://www.addictionrecoveryguide.org/treatment/detoxification/opiates i found this
[10:00] JW: where is that other website
[10:00] JW: wtf
[10:00] JW: http://www.healthline.com/health/home-remedies-opiate-withdrawal#HomeWithdrawal4
[10:01] RG: thanks, man
[10:01] RG: he's telling me and ike to put our coats on, so i guess i'll see you soon
[10:01] JW: oh cool you get to meet my little sisters/your cousins
[10:01] JW: nice nice
[10:01] RG: jesus christ
[10:01] RG: i love you<3
[10:01] JW: ew
[10:01] RG: see you soon
[10:01] RG: :3c
[10:01] JW: ugh
[10:01] JW: go
[10:01] JW: shoo
[10:02] -- ragingGardener [RG] ceased pestering justfourWalls [JW] at 22:02 --