Sort of Equestria Souls

>"Anon, have you found your special talent yet?"

>Cut to a shot of a taller, strong anon clad in a princely suit of armor with a battle banner flapping in the wind behind him. Dates, pictures, symbols, all a record of Anon's quests through Equestria for what he's -really- good at.

"It's been 25 years Apple Bloom. I still have not yet found my special talent. But, as ever, I shall not relent."

>"But Anon, all that's left are the radiant quests. You did everything else!"
>The realization dawns on you that this land has nothing more to teach you.
>Go to Celestia and Twilight with the rest of the old CMC gang in tow
>Explain you still need to find your true purpose
>Teary eyed, Twilight nods and Celestia smiles proudly at her student's ability to raise you into a dragonslaying godslaying mary sue who unlocked all your perks and mastered everything.
>CMC as your cadre, Celestia warps you to another dimension to seek your purpose
>Wake up in Lordran
>"Well, what do we have here? You must be a new arrival."

>You look to the sword in a pile of bones and approach it.
>a blip in your ear and a little message pops up in your face
>Trophy: Light the bonfire
"What the fuck is this?"
>CMC collective stare
>"What is it?"
"Can you not see it?"
>They shake their heads.
>Fuck.
>Crestfallen bro gives you the 411 on what to do
>Pull out your "420Blazeblade" and "Shield of Chastity +9001"
>You quietly thank Zecora for the tip that restoration potions do funky shit
>Walk up staircase
>Hollow jumps on your face and starts mauling your throat with dagger
>CMC stare in shock
>Die
>Pop up at the bonfire
>CMC stare in confusion
"What the fuck just happened."
>Look at self
"Why am I now a Thriller extra?"
>Crestfallen bro laughs at you. Tells you get used to it faggot.
>CMC bear witness to your slow and maddening grind through the Undead Burg, watching your sanity slowly fade
>Only hanging on to humanity with them cheering you on to find your special talent
>Begin to slowly git gud
>Throw out your shitty Skyrimjob casul shit gear and get some actual armor and a decent sword
>Montage set to 'I Will Not Bow' as you fight through the zones of Lordran
>Arrive at Anal Rodeo
>Pikachu and Snorelax constantly fuck your shit up
"I don't think I can keep going anymore."
>"Don't give up, Anon! We're here tah help ya!"
>"Yeah! You aren't a quitter!"
"How can I beat that, though?"
>Sweetie Belle taps a golden set of letters on the ground near you.
>Suddenly, Jolly Cooperation up in here
>Learn what true praising is all about
>Continue your journey
>Leave your sign for others
>CMC cheer as you slowly gather hordes of Sunlight Medals
>Literally swimming in medals
>Realize all along you've had your special talent
>Jolly Cooperation and helping others
>Light flashes
>Warped back to Equestria
>Hardier Anon tempered by the trials of death, rebirth, and perseverance in the face of adversity.
>Celestia pops a wingboner from your grossly incandescent aura
>End