Not A Word: Lyraquest 4

INTRO:  http://pastebin.com/6ETeJZdT
PART 1: http://pastebin.com/ACSQ11iw
PART 2: http://pastebin.com/vuDWd0gN
PART 3: http://pastebin.com/FHsBM3FS

After a confrontation with Lyra, you learned she's pregnant with your child, the AEIOU is onto her, and you vowed never to leave her side. It's not an easy night of sleep for you, given high emotions and the crazy circumstances of your life.

So, Anon, how's it feel to be a father? I mean, mutant hellspawn hybrid aside. And the relationship situation. Can't forget about that. Kind of important to know you're sleeping with Bonbon's fiancée. And you're also going to be working for Bonbon in her candy shop.

After an understandably fitful sleep, you wake up to find Lyra's gotten up earlier than usual to fix breakfast: hash browns with pepper and carrots, nuts, bread, and juice. And tofu sausage. Lyra sits next to you at the table.

"Good morning, Anon. You sleep well? I had a weird dream... but anyways. You gonna go work for Bonbon already?"
"Probably, I don't feel sick at all. Your magic must've rubbed off on me."
She laughs, nudging your arm. "I've got a long day in town hall for recitals. Hearth's Warming Eve is the day after tomorrow, so I'll be busy with Cheerilee and the kids."

Post responses to Lyra, and your post# rolls for restedness.

...

>>1997986 >>1998015 >>1998065 >>1998174
Your Stamina: Average

With deep-seated concern, you tell Lyra to take it easy on herself. She rolls her eyes and smirks. "Okay, I'm no supermom, but it's not like I'm jumping cliffs and fighting dragons. I'll be fine."

As you dress up for work, Lyra takes a moment to bring out her correspondence from the AEIOU and gives you a briefing about her situation: apparently the advanced research program concerning your hybrid child is based in Canterlot, and she'll need to make regular visits there so they can monitor the growth of the fetus. The AEIOU promises confidentiality on their part.

She doesn't know what to expect, and asks if you'd be willing to go to Canterlot with her after Hearth's Warming. Her parents still live there, so getting a place to stay won't be any trouble.

[PLS RESPOND?]

...

>>1998318
"Isn't staying with your parents a Bad Idea™? I mean, they know Bonbon, right?"
"Oh, true..." Lyra looks unusually pensive about this. "Hey, better idea! I can call up one of my old friends from the conservatory. She's not all up in my business, but she'd be totes cool with a surprise visit. I haven't seen her in a while anyways."

>>1998338
You ask about the AEIOU and who heads it. Lyra shrugs, saying that all she knows is that a majority of the faculty are luminaries from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. As she drinks her apple juice, you joke that it might be Princess Luna's conspiracy to breed hybrid soldiers for a takeover of Equestria. Lyra snorts and makes a mess over half the table. "You're cleaning that up!"

>>1998306 >>1998304
You diligently get some rags to soak up the spill. "What are you going to tell Bonbon?"
"Just that I wanted to visit my best friend. I haven't seen her since, like, almost after graduation. Wow, I'm actually getting excited about this idea!"
"And I'm going with you because?"
"Oh, uh... about that. Maybe you have business in Canterlot? Uh... looking for a job in Canterlot? They actually kinda like humans there better than out in the country. You got any ideas?"

...

>>1998642 >>1998762
"Actually, I may just have some government-mandated bureaucracy type stuff to do with my residency in Equestria." You wink.

So that's your plan: in the week between Hearth's Warming and the New Year, you and Lyra are going up to Canterlot and staying with her old friend so she can visit the AEIOU. Your cover story for going with her is bureaucracy and sightseeing.

With that settled, you and Lyra share what is supposed to be a quick peck but she insists on extending into a longer kiss, and you're finally on your way out the door, trudging through the snow with a thermos of leftover soup that Lyra put together for you.

INVENTORY:
Thermos of Leftover Cold Cure Soup

Lyra will be handling mail today.

[cont'd]

As you enter BONBON'S CANDY BAG, Twist can't help but latch onto your leg. Cherry Cola is comparatively less enthusiastic; the stallion waves you behind the counter. "Boss lady wants to talk to you."

Shaking off the redheaded filly to let her get back to her duties, you wander into the backrooms and find the office. Between the rounded wooden shapes and pastel colors of the architecture, it's almost indistinguishable from a regular home. Bonbon is diligently going over some paperwork, pencil in her mouth (non-unicorns can do all kinds of amazing things with their mouths, or so you've been told). She looks kind of cute with glasses, actually. You knock on the open door, and Bonbon happily greets you, lending you a stool to sit on.

She gives you the general low-down of how she runs her business, their collaboration with Sugarcube Corner, and that most of your supervision will be coming from Cherry Cola.

"So, Anon, any questions before you start your first day?"

...

>>1998863
"What problems should I look out for? Also, Cola said Twist would be showing us the ropes?"

"Yeah, she's been working here ever since she got her cutie mark. She's got talent for making candy, just lacking discipline, so more of the work she's been doing has been handling cleanup, deliveries, inventory... Although, I did hear about the Super Sweet Mints that got handed out the other day. You're her little hero, you know that?
"Apart from that, we don't really have any problem customers. Except for, well, Pinkie Pie. She loves to come in here to get her fix of shakes and scrumdiddlyumptious, and she's always bouncing off the walls, but calling that a problem is like calling sunshine warm. Speaking of which, Cola said she asked after you yesterday."

>>1998900
You go over the standard business protocols with her, and it seems you have a standard 9-to-5 gig just a few days out of the week to let Twist have some time in the backrooms to learn confectionery arts. When she's ready to be a candymare, you'll replace her full-time.

Any attempt to "charm" Bonbon in your down-to-business approach seems to have no effect. Not that you can tell she was looking for anything in particular.

>>1998934 >>1999058
I'll take these as contested rolls
Add half of these as assists to the first
>>1998979 >>1998981

And 9 beats 8. You tell her.

"By the way, I actually have to take a few days off the next week to make a trip to Canterlot. Bureaucracy, issues with my residence here."
"Ah, I didn't realize they were keeping you on that short of a leash."
"Sucks, but I have to check in with them." You shrug and apologize. "I was looking forward to working here. I promise to make up for it somehow."
"Well, you let them know that Lyra and I have absolutely no problem with you staying here. Heck, I'd wager all of Ponyville'd be on your side. We're a close-knit community when it comes down to it."
"Especially now that I'll be paying rent."
"Ha! Don't worry, we're friendlier than those cityfolk who run the government."

You shake ha—hoof and hand—and walk back out to get your assignments from Cola. As you pass the bakery, your head is filled with sugar and exotic scents wafting out of whatever's being made in there. And an odd hint of tomato soup.

[CONT'D]

"Alright, wetnose, take this list." Cola mouths a pen over a clipboard before giving it to you. Somehow it seems less charming when he does it. "That there is the deliveries for the day. Normally, we'd have Twist doing more of them, but it'd just be plain cruel to have her going alone in this snow—"
"I like thnow!"
"—and it'd be a good opportunity to introduce yourself to some of our regulars. Lucky for you there aren't that many today."
The deliveries are all holiday gift packages to home addresses, save for one Sugarcube Corner needing a batch of candy components.

Any parting remarks or questions for Cola before you and Twist leave?

...

>>1999197 >>1999246
Okay, moving on.

You step out into stable in the back, make sure the cart is loaded up with all the stuff listed, and climb on. After you spend a good minute looking for the bench you sit on, Twist speaks up.
"You're thuppothed to pull."
After some finagling and struggling, you manage to wrap the harness around your wrists into a makeshift rickshaw setup, pulling the cart behind you as Twist walks ahead to guide you around town. She does most of the talking with the locals, introducing you as you bring the cart up, say hello, retrieve a package, and hand it over to your neighbors.

You eventualy come to Sugarcube Corner, the last delivery of the day. Twist tells you this is always her favorite delivery because Pinkie Pie likes to invite her inside for snacks and such. She's even been taking a few baking lessons on the side here.

[cont'd]

Today is no different, as Pinkie Pie doesn't waste a second pulling the both of you into the storefront. You can barely make heads or tails of her motormouth greeting and chatter, but soon enough Twist is happily making cookies in the kitchen while she has you sat down at a table to sample a new chocolate malt she made.

Pinkie sits across from you and looks at you with her big blue eyes. "I got the order of Ice Crystal Sugar yesterday and they told me you had come in and reminded them so I went back to the Candy Bag and I heard you were going to start working there and that got me really excited because that means you'd be making deliveries here regularly but what would be even more awesome is if you decided to work here instead because that means we'd get to see each other all the time like super best friends wouldn't that be awesome and I'm totally sorry about giving you a cold in the snowball fight I want to make it up to you do you want me to bake you a super special cake or something, or maybe we could go watch a movie, it's nothing big, I mean I'd do the same for any of my friends, we are friends, of course, you and me, because I'd never get one of my friends sick or hurt them on purpose, and I'm really appreciative of how happy you've made Lyra, I've noticed because I'm friends with Lyra, too, I'm friends with everypony in Ponyville, and I mean everypony, and I like being friends with you, too!"

[wat do]

...

>>1999603
"Whoa. Pinkie. Slow down, please?" You chug a bit of chocolate malt to clear your head. "Ah. Good malt."
"I said I'm sorry for getting you sick from the snowball fight, and I wanted to make it up to you. Maybe you wanna hang out in a more low-key setting? Watch a movie? Bake a cake together? I've been giving Twist lessons for a while, and it'd help you in your work, too. Or you could just come work for Sugarcube Corner instead..."

Pinkie is leaning over the table, looking at you quite intently.

...

>>1999872
You fail to contain your spaghetti. There are [spoiler]tofu[/spoiler] meatballs and noodles everywhere. The scent of tomato paste, spinach, mushrooms and basil and three different cheese overwhelms you.

"It's a new invention, my Spaghetti Chocolate Malt! After drinking it a bit, you start to taste spaghetti. Isn't that just awesome!"

You shake your head to clear the sensation from your nostrils. Chocolate and basil are two things that should never be combined.

>>1999875
"Okay, wow, that's... Yeah, I could learn a thing or two about baking from you. Maybe some time next week, though?"
"Aw, after Hearth's Warming? But I was thinking, maybe we could meet up some time and warm some hearths together." [spoiler]maybe a little oil[/spoiler]

(If the Common Sense Fairy existed, she'd be bopping you over the head right now. Do you even remember where you'll be next week after Hearth's Warming?)

...

>>2000220
Common Sense™ suddenly fires in your brain, but you're still recovering from your momentary lapse of judgment. You confogl foglohlio coglpffh before making a sound that can be reasonably construed to be a complete sentence.

>>2000225
"Wait, sorry, back up. That's me being stupid." Face, meet palm. Palm, face. "I have to go up to Canterlot next week to deal with some residency issues."
"The Man getting you down, huh?"
"Yeah."

>>2000255
You wait a moment, trying to find a more elegant way to put it. "Pinkie, are you flirting with me?"

"Oh, you're so silly!" She bats her eyelashes so fast you can feel a gust against your cheeks. Her grin looks a little more crooked with each sentence. "I just want to give you a prize for winning the snowball fight. And to make up for getting you sick. No harm in that, right? Right? ...Right?"

...

>>2000406
Okay, I'll take this one as the highest roll to postpone the prize thing.

"I'm sorry, this is all kind of sudden for me. I mean, it's a really busy week ahead, and I know you mean well, Pinkie, but I just don't have the time. I'd love to get this settled the moment I get back from Canterlot, though."

"Okay, because I was really looking forward to having more fun ASAP! Actually, Sugarcube Corner is hosting a little party tomorrow night, before Hearth's Warming Eve. It'll be, like, Hearth's Warming Eve's Eve. Or a Double Eve, something like that. Anyway, we could totally hang out then! What do you say? I mean, I feel really awful about the cold thing and I didn't even visit you and then I made fun of you in the park when you came out all that way just to see me, I'm still really set on doing something for you in return, you know?"

...

>>2000590 >>2000599
"The party sounds like a great idea, actually. I'd still like to take you up on the baking lessons, though. I mean, spaghetti in a chocolate malt... who does that?"
"I do!"
"Rhetorical question."

You don't have any other obligations concerning Hearth's Warming, aside from showing up to the play on the Eve itself courtesy of Derpy's invitation. You thank Pinkie with a hug, tell her you'll see her tomorrow night, and even get to take a few of the cookies Twist had helped make as a snack on your way back into town.

Twist looks up at you as you wade through the snow. "Tho Mithter Anon, are you and Pinkie—"
"Twist, let the grownups do their grownup things, alright?"
"I heard her invite you to go work at Thugarcube Corner, but thhe knowth about you working at Bonbon'th. Why would thhe do that?"
"Pinkie Pie's a really friendly girl, what can I say? She probably knows about how I needed a job and just wanted to let me know I had options. You know, in case things don't work out with me and Lyra."
"Bonbon."
"—Bonbon."

The rest of your deliveries go swimmingly, and in fact you were out so long a new order came in. You're sent back out into the snow, without Twist this time, as she's been called back to the kitchen to make ice cream sandwiches. This one is addressed to the Hooves residence.

[cont'd]

>>2000705
This particular house in Ponyville stands out. It's constructed like any other of the homes here, but it's obviously in a constant state of repair, with patched frames and roofing peppering its structure. A familiar cool grey pegasus greets you at the door when you make your call.

"Hey Anon! You bringing me my mail?"
"Afternoon, Derpy. And no, it's just your order from Bonbon's."
"Your face is all red, how long have you been outside? Come on in and warm up, it's the least I can do after you helped me out with lunch yesterday."

[wat do]

...

>>2000790
"Twist, do we have time—"
>>2000763
Twist isn't with you, but Derpy understands if you have invisible friends you talk to for advice and company.
>>2000789
"I guess I could take a look around. Still, it's my first day on the job."
"Oh wow, working for Bonbon? That's pretty cool. I used to make deliveries myself but I had a bad habit of mistaking the deliveries for my lunch!" Derpy takes the order you brought for her and puts it aside. She fans the fireplace with her wings and invites you over to have a seat over there.
"So how're things going? You're not making rounds today?"
"Nope, Mayor's giving me these few days off so I can spend more time with family. Except Dinky's off doing recitals for the play, and I'm after that last cloudbucking incident I'm not supposed to go near Town Hall while they're making preparations." Derpy belly flops onto the big, comfy couch and stretches out. "Pretty rad to just sit around instead of flying every which way sometimes, though. You want a drink?"

Derpy opens up a cooler at the foot of the couch and offers you a selection of soft (and some hard) drinks. She herself is enjoying some hard cider while she watches the TV. The critically-acclaimed soap opera series "Feeling Quest" is currently playing, and Derpy has to fetch a new tissue box from a stockpile on the endtable.

"Oh balls, this is the sappy 'You Will Never' speech. Gets me every time."

...

>>2000923 >>2000933
You help yourself to hard cider in solidarity with Derpy, though after this maybe what you need is a delicious can of Tab.

"You know, if raising a kid on your own was as easy as it was on television... Shoot, I dunno, I wouldn't be raising her on my own." Derpy sighs and drops her empty bottle into a growing pile on the floor. She picks up another one. "Funny how life works like that, huh?"

...

>>2001076 >>2001084
You acknowledge Derpy's insight with a sagely nod and a grunt.

"You watch a lot of TV? I know Lyra loves playing video games." She's already a quarterway through this bottle. "Horsefeathers, I haven't even touched an arcade stick in years."

You [spoiler]stay a while and[/spoiler] listen to Derpy's story as it comes out in odd, stilted remarks.

[end for now]

I'm going to cut it here and try to have some better material for next time. I know it's not much of a milestone, but I've been feeling tired and unstable this week.