MORE one shots

>Its early morning in the mist covered treeline. The only sounds to be heard are the singing of the birds, and the rustling of the grass as you part it.
>Decked out in your camo-suit, you inhale the cool air and exhale a steamy breath.
>The deer you've been tracking is nearby, and she hasnt seemed to notice you.
>Drawing your bow, you load an arrow and slowly pull the wire back.
>The shot is perfect, all you need to do, is go in for the kill.
>Suddenly the deer hears you, and looks over. You fear she'll run away, it has to be now.
>But, looking into her eyes, you think back to your pony friends. She too has those same wide eyes, how could you kill something that reminds you of those cute ponies. Even if you were in the mood for a good Ted Nugent feast.
>Lowering your weapon, you sigh and put it away. Turning around, you hear a feminine voice, "Thank you." Shocked, you turn back around and see the deer only standing there, "Thank you, you're a predator, I know that must have been hard."
"Haha, not really."
>She takes some steps forward and is by your side, "Good males like you are hard to find, you have a good heart."
>You smile at her, but she suddenly begins to lick your hand. You pat her on the head thinking she just being playful, but then she begins trying to go for your crotch.
"Whoa!"
>You push her away a bit, but she is persistent in trying to get into your pants, “What’s wrong?”
“What are you doing?”
>”I’m just showing you my appreciation. Good, kind hearted hunters like you deserve some kind of reward. This is the best way I can think of.”

>She pushes onward as you hold her in place, she is powerless to overpower you, but you think her idea over. Looking around, you don’t see anybody so in one swift motion, you undo your pants, and shove your dick right into her mouth.
>Her eyes widen, and she makes a muffled surprised noise, but quickly closes her eyes, and begins to use her tongue.
>She runs its length against your dick, and pays close attention to the tip. You bite down on your lip as she does all the work for you.
>Massaging her head, you groan and moan in ecstasy feeling your limit being reached. Pulling out of her mouth, you spin her around, and drop to your knees.
>Spreading apart her deer pussy, you dive in tongue first, and swirl it around her moist tunnel, eating out that delicious [spoiler]venison.[/spoiler]
>She moans, and pushes herself onto you, begging for more. At this point, you’ve had enough of the appetizers, time for the mane course.
>Standing up, you ready your dick to assert your dominance over this doe. Pulling her in, you begin to thrust, and grunt violently as you split her wide open. Apparently, this wasn’t her first hunting trip, as she takes every inch of you and squeezes down.
“Oh my god! You’re so tight!”
>”I..I can be even tighter.”
>She practically clamps down on you, causing you to go mad with excitement, grabbing her harder, you hilt it into her as she moans out.
>Suddenly you hear a small, childlike voice, “Mother, what we gonna do today?” You look over her, and see a small deer in front of the two of you, he then realizes you are there, and behind her, “Mother look out! A hunter!”
>His mother looks to you, and him quickly before saying, ”Bambi, quick, the thicket!” The small deer runs off looking back to see if she is following, but she instead yells “Faster! Faster Bambi! Don’t look back! Keep running! Keep running!”
>He does just as he is told, and runs away until he becomes a small dot in the distance and then, nothing. The doe facehooves, and groans, “I’m so sorry about that.”
“Its ok, kids are like that. So you wanna?”
>”I should go back for him.”
“Nah he’ll be all right.”

>Back in the little deer’s home, he runs in panting before looking back and smiling, [spoiler]”We made it. We made it mother.”[/spoiler]
>Today was a “I’m going to hell for this.” Kinda day

===============================================================

>Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack and you finish the days plowing and get ready to go home.
>Putting the last tool in its box, you look forward and say to yourself.
"Operation "Plow the fields" complete."
>AJ comes up next to you and closes the tool box, "Well thats swell Anon, here er yer bits."
>Tossing you a big, you grip it and sneer as she has taps on you, "Say, since yer headin tah town, can ya drop off a video fer me at the Blockbuckers?"
"You mean, another mission?"
>"Well, ah was thinkin this could be a favor, er sumthin."
"Very well, then a time shall come when I shall make a request of you. Be it burying a body, or helping me pick out a swimsuit."
>"All righty, thanks Anon, yer a real pal."
>From the barn, you explode out in a barrel roll, and start your run to the town, VHS in hand.
>In the town, you strong arm stallions and mares that get in your way. Princess Twilight walks in your path, just in time to get a fist in the face.
>"Hey!" She yells rubbing her face, "Whats your bucking problem?!"
"Nothing personal princess."
>Running past her, you reach the video store just as the clerk is closing the doors and flipping the open sign to closed.
"The hell you are."
>Koolaiding through the doors, the stallion falls back and covers his face, "What the heck man!?"
"My mission is to return this VHS, return it or I'll kill you."
>"Dude, we have a drop box outside."
"RETURN it, or I'll KILL you. Else my client shall have a late fee"
>"Ok man, ok. Calm down."
>He goes to the counter as you set the tape, he scans it and it dings, "Uhhh.."
"What is it?"
>"I'm afraid your copy of.." He looks at it, " "Horse Illustrated: Stud Stallions edition" Is late anyway. By at least a week."
"Irregardless, my mission is complete. Print me a cop of the statement, and I will be on my way."
>He does so as you walk out of rental store, bag of popcorn in hand. Today, was a good day

=============================================

>You and Cadence walk up to her door, and give a big hug.
>"Thanks for coming out with me Anon, I can never get Shining to go anywhere that isnt a DnD game."
"Hey dont mention it, my pleasure."
>"Well, night, I got a big meeting to get to tomorrow."
"All right, see ya."
>Cadence goes in and is greeted by SA, "Staying out late again? What'd he give you, the moon?"
>"Oh Shining, no need to be jealous. Anon is just a good friend, like a brother."

>Much later, Cadence, Celestia, Princess Twilight, Luna, and you all gather around the room.
"So whats this about?"
>Celestia smiles and blasts you with her magic, "Plot device, go!"
>She changes you into a stallion, BAM! BAM! BAM! You look over your new horse body and instantly start fumbling around.
>Falling on your face, your toned plot swings in the air like a sexy pendulum.
>Its hypnotic sways instantly make Cadence have a realization, she is really turned on by you.
>She blushes and looks away, covering his eyes with her hoof like a schoolgirl with a crush would. Which is what she is anyway. Twilight looks over, "Whats the matter Cadence?"
>"Huh!? Nothing, I just uhhh...get him a guard outfit or something"She then trails off and whispers"..a..sexy guard outfit."
>"What?"
>"Nothing!"
>She thinks to herself, ("Ok, Cadence, just think of the most unatractive thing you can think of. Picture him in the same thing Shining Armor wears when he does his stupid roleplaying thing."
>She looks at you, and in her minds eye, you are wearing a wizards robe, and looking all gruff and manly. Which you were.
>("Oh no he's hot!")
>Twilight feels her forhead, "Are you ok? You look a little flushed."
"Yeah Cadence,"
>She looks at you as little flowers, and romantic music begins playing as hearts shoot out everywhere.
"Whats wrong?"
>"I have diarrhea!"
>She then runs out of the room, and down the hall before flying off into the air.
>Today was a shit day to be a pony under her path of flight.

===================================

>Rarity dabs makeup over her cheeks and face as you and Spike look on from afar.
"Are you almost DONE? You hardly need that much makeup."
>Rarity looks back and scoffs, "Surely you cant be serious? You can never have to much makeup."
>She then goes back to the mirror, and begins to sing to herself while powdering her face.
"You know where I came from, women who put on too much makeup ended up ugly, and had fucked up skin if they spent their lives slathering makeup over their faces."
>"Tsk, you're lying. Makeup is a totally safe, and harmless amplifier of one own already personal beauty."
"Whatever, just dont come crying to me when your old, and nobody wants your hideous, leather face."
>Rarity smiles and shakes her head, "Oh Anonymous, when will you learn?" She looks back and swishes her mane in an elegant, and beautiful manner, "Somep0ny will ALWAYS want me."

>6 years later.
>A saggy skinned, and worn Rarity grabs you by the shoulders, "Oh Anon its terrible! The makeup doesnt work anymore! No matter how much I put on, I never get any prettier!"
>You push her back and hold your hands up to form an invisible barrier.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up....Are you this world's pony Micheal Jackson?"
>Rarity begins to wail and runs off as you try and chase her.
"Sing "Beat it!""

>2 years later.
>There is a knock at Twilights old Housebrary, as Spike, the sole owner of it since Twilight left, goes to answer the door.
>Before him stands, a fat, ugly, white mare. The mane however, is a dead giveaway as Spike's eyes go wide, "R..Rarity?"
>Rarity talks like woman in her 40's who's eggs are about to dry up, "Spikey! You remember me! How so very like my special somep0ny."
>"M..me?"
>"Yes Spike, you see, I have finally realized how special you are to me, and how you are the only pony for me now. I should never have passed you up for so long, but now, I know better. Come, give your Rarity-warity a kissey"
>"Nooooo!!!"
>2day was a diseased cougar kinda day

===================================

>At the new Caroubelle Boutique, Rarity sips at her drink before setting it down, "Thanks again for letting me crash here, you're a good sister Sweetie."
>Sweetie Belle, who has grown to a fully blossomed mare, puts away some things, "Dont mention it, it'll be just like when you used to own this place. Only you know, I own it now."
>Rarity sighs and looks it over, "I should never have sold the old girl, moving to Canterlot was the biggest mistake of my life."
>"Well, you're here again now, maybe you can open another shop, get back on your feet."
>"Maybe."
>Suddenly there is a knock at the door, Sweetie goes to answer it while Rarity stays behind and drinks.
>She hears Spike say, "There's my little Squeaky Belle."
>Sweetie giggles a bit before whispering, "Shh, my sister is here."
>After some more hushed mumblings, they come over and sit. Rarity asks nervously as sweat rolls down her face, "W..why are you called Squeaky Belle?"
>Sweetie blushes bright red as Spike tries to avoid looking at her, "Oh you know, cause she always has those voice cracks."
>"Y.yea!"

>Later that night, Rarity lays on her sofa bed staring at the ceiling. The only sounds she can hear are the thrustings of the bed, and Sweetie Belle's rhythmic stifled squeaks.
>Its faint, but in this quite darkness she can hear Sweetie whisper, "Not so rough, my sister could hear us." Before the sounds reset to how they were before.
>Rarity rolls to the side as a single tear goes down her cheek.
>"That could have been me."

=======================

>Day watching movies with ponies in Equestria. Be Anon and watching Species with Cadence, Shining Armor, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight.
>Its around the scene where the lady has the alien baby burst through her stomach that Dash screams, and hugs you.
>Totally ok with it, you smile and wrap your arm around her.
"Its ok Dash, I'll protect you from the big, scary monster."
>She pushes you away and grunts, "It was just really scary."
>As the movie continues, Dash chows down on everything you had bought for the movie. Soda, nachos, mexican food because why the hell not?
>With the movie coming to an end, you and Dash stay behind to clean up. Nobody had suspected a thing, that the two of you were already kinda into one another.
>But tonight was special, it was sexy time. Dash smiles playfully at you as she tosses a can.
>The two of you then race upstairs for some bed wrestling.
>Laying on the bed in an embrace, Dash cuddles into you as she sighs, "That was amazing. I didnt think humans would be so good."
"Oh yeah, we have lots of advantages over stallions."
>"Oh yea? Like what?"
"Well, we got hands, the better to brush your mane with."
"Ooo, and?"
"And we got stamina, to outlast any stallion."
>"Kinky, go on."
"And, we dont get STDs from eachother."
>"Thats why we didnt use protection?"
"Yup, it pays to be an alien."
>"...a what?"
"An alien. Technically I'm an alien to you guys."
>Its then her stomach begins to gurgle, its then it dawns on her. Sex was how the aliens bred more of themselves.
>She panics and rolls off the bed before flying into the bathroom holding her stomach.
>She slams the door as you shrug and go to bed. In the bathroom, Rainbow holds her stomach and winces in pain. This bastard baby was gonna tear a hole right through her.
>She sits on the toilet, knowing her last minutes are coming up. She looks up and cries, "Damn you Anon!"
>She then shits herself. And she went to bed happy.

=========================================

>Be Anon in Twi’s lab, when suddenly you throw a chair into a row of beakers.
"God fucking damnit!"
>Hours upon hours of time wasted, it seems nothing you do can recreate that flavor a soda from so long ago.
>Twilight sighs and begins to use her magic to clean up your mess, "Failed again huh?"
"Again, its ALWAYS again. I cant make anything work."
>Twilight goes over to a table full of other beakers with assorted colored liquids in them, "But you made so many breakthroughs today, Mountain Mist, Parasi, Mr. Pip, AND Gyno-Gale. You made enough carbonated beverages to delight fillies and colts for years."
>You swing around holding a chair, and destroy all the beakers she was just at.
"What good is all of that crap!? It will NEVER compare to Colta-Cola!"
>Twilight frowns sadly before hanging her head, "Is it really that good? Is it so good to ruin all your progess, studies...and friendships?"
>You look back and sigh before looking the otherway.
"Its the only thing worth ruining everything for."
>Twilight hangs up her duster, and tries not to cry, "Good bye Anon, this is the last time you can use my lab."
>With that she hides her eyes and walks up the steps before closing the door.
>You stand alone in the room as a single tear rolls down your face.

>Hours of crying later, you clean up the room as you overturn all the destroyed debris.
>Picking up one thing, you find a small little blue pixy under a framed photo.
"What the.."
>You get close to her and try to touch her, but she wakes up and stabs you with a shard of glass.
"FUCK!"
>You wince in pain and grab her in your mighty hand.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldnt pull a Kaworu Nagisa on you?"
>"Em so sorry! I thought u were going to squish me!"
"What are you, what are you doing here?"

>"Ah waz collecting pollen, and smelled something better, I thought der were better flowers here, but ten I got hit."
"Oh, sorry."
>"Ur pollen smells nice, but it aint no pollen."
"What do you mean?"
>"Dah pollen I have is sweeter, but its so hard to collect. Yer pollen smells sweeter, but tastes like dragoon fuz."
"Pollen huh?"
>You look to the side.
"Never tried that before, can I use some?"
>He tries to hide it and shifts his body away, "Its mine, ah worked muh butt fer it."
"I promise, I'll pay you back. 10x even."
>He reluctantly agrees as you begin the experiment.
>He flaps over your shoulder as you mix the ingredients together. Pouring it into a glass, you look it over before taking a swig, and spittig it out.
"This crap is warm!...Hey! This tastes just like it!"
>You run to the fridge, and open the freezer. Grabbing a tray of frozen white ice cubes, you dunk them in and toss the tray down.
>Swirling around the glass, you knock it back and laugh.
"My god! It IS! Thank you tiny bee man! With this, I'll never have to worry about what to drink at the movies again!"
>"Me payment? Ah need to get home."
"Sure, take me to where you get this pollen, I'll make you rich beyond your wildest dreams."

>Twilight sits on her bed holding an old photo of you and her smiling, when suddenly you break into her room.
“Twilight!”
>She looks away angrily, “Go away Anon! I’m not talking to you.”
“Twilight, we did it!”
>She looks back surprised, “We..we did?”
“Yes Twilight, we did it!”

>She smiles and runs up to you before jumping into your arms as you swing her around, the two of you laughing and yelling “We did it! We did it! We did it!”
>Outside, Applejack hears you two yelling and yells back, “Ya don’t gotta brag! Not everyp0ny gets tah buck ya know!”
>Back in the lab, you and Twilght clean up together in silence. After the jubilation at having cracked a solid case, you both remembered that you last left off on bad terms.
“Listen, Twilight…I’m sorry, about everything. That was no way to treat a valued partner, and friend.”
>She looks back and smiles before fixing a table, “Apology accepted Anon.”
“Just think, we can market this stuff and makes mad money.”
>In the background, Twilight opens the fridge to store the sample, and notices the ice tray on the floor, “Anon! You ruined my sperm samples!”
>Today was STILL a good day, despite downing pony sperm.

========================================

>Big Mac rubs his sore ass as you pick up your pants.
"Sorry man."
>"Ah didnt think it would be this sore."
"I didnt think it would feel so good."
>He scratches the back of his head and smiles bashfully, "Glad ya liked it Anon."
>You kiss him on the lips and pat his head before heading out the barn. On your way out, you run into Applejack, "Mornin Anon, what brings u here so early?"
"Oh you know, just came to put Big Mac over a barrel."
>She laughs heartily, "Hope ya werent too rough on him, Big Mac isnt as tough as he looks."
"I wouldnt say that, he can take a lot of...punishment."
>"Is that right?"
"Yup, he takes it harder, and faster than any stallion I've ever seen."
>"Well he does work the plow pretty hard."
"I guess you could say he has a lot of experience getting plowed."
>AJ holds a hoof to her chin and thinks, "Well I think that correct way tah say it is "He has a lot of experience plowin." "
"Hahaha, no he doesnt."
>Big Mac growls kinda upset, "Ah think its time fer Anon tah go AJ, he has a lot of errands tah run."
>"Oh, sorry Anon, didnt mean tah keep ya."
"Ah its ok, Big Mac is just being..." you put on some sun glasses, "butthurt."

===================================

>Soarin, and Braeburn look around the market of Canterlot and try to not look suspicious.
>Inching themselves to a merchant who is dressed in a trenchcoat and dark sunglasses.
>Braeburn walks in front of him, and tips over his hat, "Oh darn, ah seem tah have dropped muh hat. Let me pick it up."
>He bends down, and slides a bag of bits under the merchants cart, and in return he slides him a wrapped magazine.
>Breaburn shoves it into his hat, and gets back up. The two run off together and into a hotel, rushing up to their room, the two giggle stupidly.
>Soarin wrings his hooves in anticipation, "Oh man, I've been waiting for the Princess Issue since this magazine came out!"
>"Keep it down, somep0ny might hear ya, and fer Colts sake, aim that thing AWAY from me, ah dont want tah be scrubbin muh leg like last time."
>Braeburn opens the packet, and slides out the magazine, on the cover is a cutsey Cadence as she winks playfully to the camera.
>Both Braeburn and Soaric shudder stupidly as they open it. Sure enough on the front page Cadence is laying on her back, legs spread open but the big Crystal Heart is right over her more intimate parts.
>Soarin bites his lips as they go from page to page. Each one having Cadence in different poses.
>Braeburn looks confused, "Ah like Cadence and all, but ah though there would be all the princesses."
>"We still got 3 more pages, maybe they did group shots."
>Turning the page, they see Twilight angrily looking at the camera on the streets of Ponyville.
>On the next, is Luna on a cloud sneering at the camera. Andd finally, on the last page, is just 2 giant white hooves.
>They both look at one another and close the book.

>At The Play Colt mansion, Brae and Soarin stand before you as you have the back of your chair facing them, "And we wanted tah know why there were no other Princesses in tha magazine."
>You turn around to reveal your black and blue face.
"Lets just say they weren't photogenic."

===============================================

>Day this in Equestria, be Anon and staring out into the sunset as Applejack comes up and sits herself next to you.
>"Sure is a mighty fine sunset."
"Yeah."
>She looks down, and places a hoof over your hand, you look up at her as she looks deep into your eyes, "Anon, ah know life here has been tough, but..ah want ya tah know ya dont have tah do it by yerself."
"Thank AJ, you know, you're the closest friend I've ever had...in either worlds."
>"Tahaha, JUST a friend?" She smiles tilting her head to get a look at you, "Cuz ah kinda.." She leans to you as you exhale and lean in.
>Kissing, you break it away and think to yourself. It wasnt all that bad, I mean, sure she tasted like hay and apples, but..it was the personality within you were attracted to.
>AJ plays with her mane a bit as she exhales in relife, "Eeyup, mighty fine sunset."
>You lean on her and continue to look forward.
"Yup, I could get used to this."
>AJ looks down, smiles, and leans on you too. In the distance, Twilight and her friends watch as they all go "Awwww~"
>Suddenly a portal opens in front of you as you see a bunch of your family.
>"John! We opened the portal back to Earth! You dont have to stay there anymore!"
>You sit up right, push AJ away and get up before looking back.
"So long assholes! Fuck this candy coated nightmare! Hahaha!"
>You jump off and into the portal as it closes up, and crackles a bit before disaperains as quickly as it came.
>Everyone stands there stupefied, as AJ begins to cry, "Muh human tax deduction fer tha farm!!"
>Today was a bad day.

=====================================

>Day Eggs in Equestria, be Anon and hanging with your pal Rainbro Dash.
>The two of you sit on the couch and lazily sip soda through a straw.
>You set your's down and get up to head to the bathroom.

>After a nice, relaxing piss, you come back and sit down. Reaching for your soda, you realize its gone.
>Looking to the side, you see Rainbow Dash sipping up your soda. Sighing satisfied, she tosses the can and gets cozy.
"Dude, that was my soda."
>"Huh?" She looks to the side, then down and sees her soda is still there, "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I didnt even realize." She begins to stammer and blush as you groan annoyed.
"Whatever, I'll get another one."
>Getting back up, you walk away as Rainbow smiles and holds her soda, ("I cant belive I accidentally did thats.") She closes her eyes and smiles giddily, ("Then again, its like we both kissed.")
>You return with your new soda and sigh.
"Well, what else is on?"

>After hanging with Anon, the two of you share an awkward buddy hug before you take off into the sky.
>As you fly, you get a cramp in your stomach. Stupid things have been happening all week.
>"Just hold out Dash, almost home.")
>By the time you get back home, you're dying as you groan, and crawl on the floor.
>"Oh Celestia! My stomach!"
>You roll around on the floor holding your tummy as you practically cry out in pain. This is like, extreme diarrhea. You crawl to the toilet, but know you wont make it.
>"Oh no, not on the..floor!"
>You push with everything you have, and it feels like your passing a pony. After what feels like an eternity, you push it all out and pass out.
>Waking up much later, you gather your surroundings, "What..what happened?"
>Its when you move your leg you feel it, something hard, and round.
>You gasp as you look at whats on the floor, a big, shiny egg.
>"OH MY GOSH! ANONS SPIT GOT ME PREGNANT!"

=======================================

>"Oh Anon~ What is that component?"
"This? Oh its a CPU."
>Twilight bites her lip as she closes her eyes, "What does it do? Describe it to me."
"Well, its the central processing unit of the motherboard, hence "CPU" and basically conducts all processes that run off the OS. This is an I5K, which means its overclocked, and can process even faster than a normal model."
>Twilight begins use her hoof to masturbate herself furiously, "How..how much faster!?"
"Well, depening on the speed set by the user, it can go pretty fast. Thats why you need a good heatsink to absorb all that heat so you dont fry the components."
>"Oh..ohhh...those moving parts, those dependent peripherals, that chassie! Oh Anon take me! To Comp USAAAAAAA~
>And the she passed out in a pool of her own juices.
>You like talking with Twilgiht.

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