Fall From Grace (ch5)

FOR ALL MY PATRONS!!

Reunited after the accident, but what kind of expression should Claudine wear...?

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.

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						Chapter 5. Coming Clean


Claudine gets a bit of a chill upon entering the hospital environment. She'd never been the biggest fan of them, even when she was only visiting.

Junna breaks away from the crowd to approach the front desk and ask for Maya's information. Nana is holding the bouquet they'd purchased, and Claudine herself is holding a little baggie with the plushie and baumkuchen behind her back. She feels a bit queasy for a multitude of reasons, but when Junna turns back to give them all a thumbs-up, Claudine's heart lifts just a little bit.

In spite of how badly she wants to see Maya, she ends up at the back of the group somehow as they walk down the stark white hallways. Only when Futaba drops back to bump Claudine's side does she snap out of her reverie.

"Oy, Kuro," Futaba says, nudging her. "What's gotten into you? You still blaming yourself for what happened? Like we told you, it wasn't your fault. Tendo knows that, too."

Claudine sighs, squeezing the handle of the gift bag.

"Maybe it wasn't…" She keeps her voice low so the others can't overhear. "But what if… what if she does blame me? I know she wouldn't, but… Some part of me just keeps thinking she secretly might, no matter what she tells me to my face."

Futaba folds her hands behind her head as they walk.

"Hm. I suppose it's only natural to worry about stuff like that. But I'd say you and Tendo know each other well enough to be able to address stuff like that out loud if you had to. Just speak your mind if it's bothering you that much, y'know? I'm sure Tendo will be glad to clear up any uncertainties."

Claudine nods and inhales slowly.

"You're right. Merci, Futaba."

Futaba nudges her again.

"No problem."

By now they've reached Maya's room, and after Junna knocks, Claudine can just faintly make out a familiar voice saying, "Come in." Her heart throbs, and her throat suddenly tightens up as she slowly follows Futaba inside.

It appears Maya is the only patient in the room, but Claudine doesn't look up to search for her yet. Instead, she just listens to the others greeting her.

"Maya-chan!"

"We're so glad you're all right!"

"Damn, get a load of that cast!"

"A bit of an eyesore, but necessary, I suppose."

"T-Tendo-saaaan! We missed you!"

"K-Karen, don't jump on her! Ah, we're so glad we could come see you, Tendo-san."

"We brought you flowers."

Hikari's comment seems to make the rest of them realize that, and Nana is nudged to the front of the crowd. Claudine tenses up at the sound of her partner's voice.

"My, these are lovely. Thank you all so much for visiting."

"Hold on just a moment," Kaoruko says cooly. "Don't think we've forgotten to bring you your partner. Oh, Kuro-han~!"

The next thing Claudine knows, she's being gently jostled to the front of the group. She tries to keep her eyes on the floor. But when the voice she's been wanting to hear more than anything else for the past twelve hours speaks her name, all of her reservations go out the window.

"Saijou-san…"

Claudine finally looks up.

As Futaba and Kaoruko had noted, Maya's right leg is covered by a large cast and is slightly elevated to alleviate any potential pressure on it. The bedsheets are white with a slight tinge of blue to them, but the robes Maya is wearing are light pink. In her arms is the colorful bouquet they'd all pitched in to buy her. The flowers are mostly covering her torso, but she's sitting upright rather stiffly. Claudine remembers with a pang that she'd suffered fractured ribs, so she's likely bandaged or braced-up beneath her clothes as well.

But her eyes don't linger for very long on the rest of her. The second her gaze finally meets Maya's once again, after what feels like not hours but months apart, Claudine feels a rush of emotion behind her eyes. She's been so upset all this time, blaming herself for all of this. But upon finally seeing Maya again, her heart can't help but beat a little faster.

The first thing Maya does upon seeing her again is smile - that warm, familiar, beautiful smile that hides no traces of blame or anger whatsoever. It isn't her slightly-mischievous smile, or the smile she puts on when she's trying to keep something back. This is her honest smile. And not the one she shows an audience onstage after a long and successful performance either, but the one she really only ever shows Claudine when they're alone together.

Claudine's heart suffers another pang, but it's enough movement to get it pumping. She inhales deeply, trying to dislodge the lump in the back of her throat, but as she breathes through her nose it definitely ends up sounding like a sniffle. By the time she finally remembers how to use her voice, it's a little hoarse.

"Maya…"

The rest of the world had disappeared when she'd finally gotten to see her again, but now Claudine remembers all the others are here, and that she should have addressed Maya more formally by her full name.

But none of them seem to take note or care. They know how badly she's been wanting to see her.

And clearly, Maya has been wanting to see her, too. She chuckles very softly, as if doing it any louder might be risky for her ribs, but the smile remains unwavering on her lips.

"It is very nice to see you, Saijou-san."

Claudine wants to run to her. She wants to run into Maya's arms and hold her tightly and sob apologies into her shoulder. But she can't do that with everyone watching, and even if they weren't she probably shouldn't do it anyway.

She tries to think of something witty to say, or just something to say at all, but Claudine chokes. Images of last night's accident flood to the forefront of her mind and her chest suddenly feels tighter again. But someone gives her a little push from behind, snapping her back into reality, and somehow her words come as if on autopilot.

"Hmph. Why do you look so surprised? Did you think I wasn't going to come and visit you? Did you think that - as your partner and the one responsible for all this - I wasn't the one wanting to see you most desperately of all? The only thing you should be surprised about is how foolish the notion of you thinking I wouldn't come to see you is." She puffs up her chest and puts her hands on her hips, and the gift bag swings into view. Her friends chuckle behind her.

"There's the Saijou-san we all know and love," Junna sighs.

"Thank goodness!" Nana claps, also giving a little hum of relief. "You haven't been yourself since last night."

"I know!" Karen exclaims. "I was getting worried!"

"She was awfully mopey," Futaba teases. "Looked like she was about to cry from not being able to see you, Tendo."

"She did cry," Nana reminds them. "But we all did. We were all worried about Maya-chan." She shuffles a little closer to Maya's bed to address her. "But just between you and me, Maya-chan; Kuro-chan really is precious when she's crying."

"Wha-?! Nana!" Claudine rounds on her with a warning growl. Behind her, Maya bursts out laughing as much as her ribs allow.

"Indeed, you're right, Daiba-san. She is quite adorable, is she not?"

"H-Hey, you two! Don't talk about me like I'm not here-!"

"Don't let her attitude fool you," Nana goes on. "She cried in my arms last night."

"And mine," Hikari says.

"Wha-?! She did?" Karen blurts.

"And mine," Kaoruko adds on. All of them gasp in shock.

"What?" Futaba demands. "Since when do you comfort people when they're cryin', Kaoruko?"

"It was a special occasion. Kuro-han was particularly miserable."

Claudine feels her face turning redder and redder as they all continue to talk about her. But her eyes are only on Maya and that growing smile. When everyone has finished their teasing and giggling, Junna - ever the responsible one - speaks up.

"All right guys, don't you think you should apologize to Saijou-san? That was a bit much."

"Right."

"Sorry~"

Claudine grumbles.

"Traitors, all of you…"

With the atmosphere thinned, the conversation naturally turns back to Maya and her condition.

"So, your leg really is broken then?"

"No, Kaoruko. She's just laying in a hospital bed for fun."

"No need to be rude!"

"Tendo-san, Tendo-san!" Karen wails. "Sakuragi-sensei said you won't be able to perform for two months!"

At this point, Claudine notices Maya flinch, just ever so slightly. The others probably miss it with how quick and minuscule it is, but to her it's rather obvious. A split second later though, Maya is smiling again, albeit a little sadly.

"Yes… Unfortunately that seems to be the case…"

The room falls silent for a moment and everyone's shoulders slump, as if they'd all been hoping it wouldn't be true somehow. Maya must be able to tell she's dampened the mood with her news, but she keeps going.

"My parents were called in last night and stayed with me until closing, and though they know this might hurt my career, they agree that I can't get back onstage for at least 6 weeks at minimum."

"Geez…" Futaba whistles. "That's gonna be rough. Not just on us, but on Seishou in general."

"And on Tendo-san," Hikari puts in. "I'm sure there will be a lot of physical therapy involved."

Maya nods. "Indeed there will be. I've already been briefed about all of that and how the recovery process will go. It will take some time, but I'm sure I'll be back on my feet before we know it."

"Literally!" Karen says. "Y'know, since you'll probably have crutches and all."

"We'll help carry your books and thing!" Nana promises. "And we'll help you with anything else you might need!"

"Thank you, Daiba-san." Maya sweeps her gaze around to each of them. "Thank you all. I truly do appreciate it. I'll need all of your support to make a full and swift recovery."

Claudine has been quiet for a few moments now, but she's been observing Maya closely. And she can't be completely certain, but she feels there's something… off.

"Well then," Junna says, clearing her throat pointedly. "We should probably let you get some rest, Tendo-san. Did the school send down your belongings?"

"Yes," she smiles. "One of our teachers brought me my things, including my cell phone."

"Great!" Nana chirps. "Then you can text or call us if you need anything!"

"Right!" Mahiru agrees. "We'll come visit you tomorrow, and every day we can until you're discharged."

"Yeah!" Karen makes a determined fist. "Don't worry, Tendo-san! In two months it'll be like none of this ever happened!"

Maya dips her head, but for a split second her bangs cover her eyes, and Claudine can't read them. But in a flash, Maya is presenting them all with another smile.

"Thank you all, everyone."

At this point Mahiru takes the flowers from her and offers to arrange them in a vase across the room that only has one single decorative lily standing in it. The girls chat a little amongst themselves, though Claudine hardly says a word.

After a few more minutes, everyone wishes Maya well for now as they begin heading toward the door. But no one mentions anything about Claudine choosing to stay behind awhile longer.

She loves all of them dearly, but she just feels she needs to be alone with her partner for a bit.

Nana just pauses for a moment to murmur privately to Claudine.

"We'll hang out in the cafe for a little while. Come join us when you're finished."

Claudine nods, and with that the rest of them are on their way, until only two people remain in the hospital room.

And it's like something has snapped into place that couldn't before, because without anything more than a glance between them, they immediately can't stay apart a second longer.

Claudine lets the small bag she'd been holding drop at the foot of the bed as she reaches out her arms. Maya is already waiting for her in earnest, her brow furrowed and eyes longing.

It's only at the last second before they make contact when Claudine remembers Maya's fractured ribs, and softens the force of the embrace as much as she can. She's sure to only wrap her arms around Maya's shoulders and not her torso or waist.

But Maya doesn't seem fazed in the slightest. The second she has Claudine, she squeezes her tightly, sighing against her shoulder as her fingers curl into her blouse.

It takes Claudine a lot of effort not to hug her back as hard as she can. She can feel a slight hardness beneath Maya's robes, likely some kind of cast or brace around her torso, so she monitors herself as intensely as possible, making sure Maya isn't short on breath or anything like that. But before she knows it, Claudine is the one gasping as heavy tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

"I… I'm sorry…"

Again, the awful memories of last night resurface, and she does her best to push them away. Maya helps solidify the current reality by hugging her a little tighter.

"Oh, no," she murmurs gently. "That won't do. Please don't, Claudine. Don't blame yourself for this. Please…" She eases Claudine forward a bit until she's seated on the edge of the bed, sinking softly into Maya's arms. "It was part of the play. You were meant to push me back at that point. It isn't your fault that I fell. You must know that."

Claudine stiffens and shakes her head.

"Maybe not… but afterward, when I tried to help you up-"

"Please," Maya whispers, carding through her hair. "Anyone who had just witnessed someone fall like that would naturally try to help them up, as you did."

"But I wasn't thinking-"

"With all that was happening so quickly, I don't believe anyone was," Maya assures her. "Do not think I wasn't aware of how you were protecting me from the crowds who couldn't see. If not for you, I'm certain someone could have stepped on me, or tripped over me and made it much worse. You've done me no harm, Claudine. Make no mistake of that."

Of course Maya would say that. Of course Maya would forgive her. Claudine had already known that deep down. But for some reason the confirmation from Maya's own lips has all of the nasty, twisted feelings that have been plaguing Claudine for hours and hours come undone.

A warm surge of relief floods her body and drips from her eyes, but even as she cries she tries not to touch Maya more than she has to.

Maya still keeps her close though, much too happy to finally have her near again.

Claudine cries for a few moments, trying to get ahold of herself as quickly as possible. She hasn't forgotten that there's still something she needs to talk about with her. So when she's finally composed herself enough to sit back, and wiped her eyes enough to look into Maya's, she gets straight to the point.

"Tell me."

Maya tilts her head.

"Pardon?"

Claudine sniffles, but tries to keep her tone firm.

"Don't think I didn't notice. Earlier with the others, you were acting strangely. They might not have realized it, but nothing gets by me, Tendo Maya." She narrows her eyes a little and tries to suppress the sting of more tears from leaking out. "Tell me."

For a moment, Maya simply stares into her eyes, but Claudine can't read her right away. It's only when she breaks eye contact and looks away with a sigh when Claudine understands her hunch was correct.

"Indeed… You are right." Maya inhales a little shakily and swallows. "Not only the others, but my parents, our teachers, and the doctors and nurses alike all kept saying the same things. That I'd be back on my feet in no time. That, in two months' time, it will be like this never happened…"

She tapers off, looking up at the bouquet of flowers across the room. The faintest whimper escapes her.

"But what if… they're mistaken…? What if things don't heal properly? What if I feel a bit of pain every time I move a certain way for the rest of my life? What if this prevents me from continuing to strive for my dreams-?"

Before Claudine knows it, Maya is now the one weeping. Claudine had seen the tears coming and has already wrapped her arms back around her partner as cautiously as she can.

"Hush, now. Don't be a fool." She pets through Maya's hair, tracing her fingertips with feather-light touch up and down her back. "You'll heal up and you'll be just fine. If all of the professionals have already said so, then it's almost guaranteed, right?"

She pauses for a beat, and the trembling whimpers Maya is making all but break her heart. Claudine kisses her temple.

"But make no mistake, Tendo Maya. Even if… if something were to go wrong - which it won't - and even if you remain affected by this for some time afterward… No one - absolutely no one else - will ever be able to claim Top Star. Not even me."

Claudine rests her head against Maya's to support her, breathing in her warm lilac scent.

"No one else on this planet can or will ever be able to sing, dance, or act as magnificently as you do. And while I admit I come close, I could never surpass you in terms of your own style. No one else has quite the same flare, grace, or brilliance as you do. You have things that are unique only to you, dances only you can dance, pitches only you can reach, performances only you can act…"

She feels a little tear run down her own cheek, in contrast to the damp puddle Maya is leaving on her shoulder. Claudine smiles a wobbly smile, and speaks from her heart.

"No matter what happens, you will always be Top Star in my eyes, Tendo Maya."

And just as Maya had dashed Claudine's fears that had been festering all night long, Claudine provides her the same - if not greater - relief.

All at once, Maya is overcome with the deep, profound feeling that everything is going to be all right, that Claudine's words are nothing short of the honest truth. She'd done her fair share of worrying and crying alone last night, too. But now it just feels good to cry.

Claudine stays close and supports her all the while, trying to make up for the time they'd been forced apart by savoring the warmth and comfort of her closeness.

When the tears finally come to a stop, the two girls spend a few moments cleaning each other up, tucking stray locks of hair behind ears, running little kisses across temples and foreheads, patting shoulders and rubbing backs and nuzzling noses.

After all is said and done and they are both able to smile once again, Maya's eyes wander curiously to the forgotten bag at the foot of the bed. Claudine reaches out to pull it over.

"Ah, right. I'd nearly forgotten." She hands Maya the baggie and sits back as she watches her pull out the baumkuchen. Claudine's heart does a fluttery little trill when she sees the absolutely adorably-excited look on Maya's face.

"It isn't much," Claudine says. "I'm not even sure if you're allowed to eat it or whatever, but-"

"Truly, you are an angel, Saijou Claudine." Maya is already unwrapping the treat in her lap. "My nurse did not give me any dietary restrictions, so I will happily indulge myself." She takes a hearty first bite and hums merrily, putting a hand to her cheek. It's so cute it's almost criminal, and Claudine has to cough to hide a blush.

"Gosh, you're like a little kid…"

"A very fortunate one."

Maya munches away at her food until it's gone. Claudine hands her a tissue to clean herself off with, then throws the trash away for her.

At last, Maya pulls out the little stuffed kitten Claudine had bought for her. Her expression becomes soft and placid. She gives it a little kiss and cradles it against her chest.

"She's quite precious," Maya muses. "Quite like the one who has gifted her to me."

"Enough," Claudine huffs. "Anyway, isn't it about time you get some more sleep? If you slack off on your rest you won't heal as quickly."

"That is true. Though, I'm aware that, regrettably, this means you're leaving." Maya sighs, stroking her fingers over the soft faux fur of the plush toy. "But do no fret. I shall keep this little one close and treat her as I would you, Ma Claudine."

Claudine rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"Still insufferable as ever, I see. Do what you will, then." She gets to her feet and stretches her legs out a bit. "I'll come visit you tomorrow and every day after until you're released. And like Nana said, you should text us every once in a while."

"But of course."

With the essentials addressed now, they share one last look. Neither really initiates more than the other, but they come together for one last, gentle hug.

"Get better," Claudine murmurs. "Everything else comes later."

Maya nods against her neck.

"I will. There is no doubt about it."

Satisfied that the worst of the worst feelings have been eradicated now, they part. Claudine takes her leave from the room and has to force herself not to look back. Maya hugs the little kitten plush to her heart and closes her eyes.

And so, a long two-month path of healing and recovery has begun.

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A/N: Just as Claudine has to suffer the anxiety of the time in between the tragedy and seeing her again, now Maya has the anxiety of waiting for her body to heal, and worrying it might not...