Talismannn about 14 hours ago
Ban Notification

Due to repeated disruption and ghost modding in BananaDongles chat room I am officially notifying you that you are now banned from the chat room.

You are welcome to view the stream if you wish but interaction in the chat room has now been removed.

This decision was made after discussion with Banana and has his full backing and is not open for discussion

Return to chat on alt accounts for any reason will be reported as ban evasion and an IP ban requested.

Talismannn
Demonicchihuahua about 2 hours ago
Dear Talismannn,

I read your message about ten times before I could fully process the information that you gave me, then I waited and thought about it multiple times throughout the day, and the time actually gave me an opportunity to sit down and think. I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart, that despite all of the struggles and everything that goes on in my real life, I have never in my entire life felt so much pain, regret, and guiltiness about something that was done on the internet. I never thought that I could feel the way I do about something that was virtual such as a ban. As I’m typing this, I am shaking so hard. I’ve never ever had an anxiety attack or felt this way about anything because normally I don’t let it get to my head, and I roll it off like it’s nothing. That is how I’ve been able to psychologically pull through all of this.

Demonicchihuahua about 2 hours ago
But despite all of that, I cannot get this action out of my thoughts. I cannot get this feeling to just rub off and that is when I realized, I have grown such a relationship with the Banana Bunch in the last few years, and it has been such an amazing experiment with Banana and the chat that I have grown a true liking towards the chat. If it were a 6 day time out, I probably could have eventually shaken it off, 6 months, years, whatever, I probably could have recovered from that and eventually let it fade into a memory, but a permanent ban is probably the worst feeling I have ever had in my entire life. Because now that I know that I may never be able to return to the way it was and shake it off like it was just a memory. Knowing that I fucked up so badly that now I will most likely never have a chance to redeem my mistakes, makes me sick and it truly hurts me. I could try to deny it and roll it off like it was no big deal, but deep down inside, no matter what I do or think to try and wipe it away, I know for a fact that I will not be able to forget this so easily. I set myself to certain standard.

Demonicchihuahua about 2 hours ago
Everything I do is meant never to hurt or harm anybody, but only meant to try and help people. I’m the type of person who feels bad for being one minute late to a class or feels bad when I skip a class, even if it is a valid excuse such as having a doctor’s appointment, or being sick. The thought that I have done something to upset someone or make someone want to go so far as to ban me, sickens me, and I feel deep regrets and sorrows. It literally breaks my heart to think that Banana or even you are upset with the way I’ve been acting. And there honestly really isn’t any valid excuse as to why you should have to feel that way about me.
So I’m going to do what I probably should’ve done a really long time ago. I want you to be brutally honest with me and leave nothing to spare. My request is that you give me a full log of everything that I have done wrong whether or not I was purged for it or not. If you ever thought I did something that you didn’t like, but you decided to let it slide, please include that as well. I would also like you to help me improve the way I act. I would like some dos and don’ts to prevent ghost modding because I think my major issue with this whole thing was I had no idea what my limits were, I had no idea what I could do, and honestly I should’ve asked the second you or Banana told me about it, and the fact that I didn’t also upsets me.
I don’t just want to give up on this. I don’t want to just wave it off anymore. I don’t want to quit at all. I want to be able to improve. I want the ability to learn from all of this that has happened and improve in the way that I approach Twitch as well as other things too. Whether or not my apology is accepted, I still want to be able to have something to look back to and improve the way I act on other channels to avoid this by happening again. I also want to discuss things that I can do to eventually gain Banana’s trust back and possibly come back in the future. I have never lied when I say that Banana was my first follow because he was. He was my very first real follow on Twitch, and I have never regretted doing so. I think that is also why I have such feelings about this. Banana has inspired in such ways that I can’t even begin to explain. He’s the person that made me want to check out other people and start to actually set my foundation on Twitch and expand. And I also think that’s why I’m most concerned about this. Banana isn’t some random streamer that I found when browsing Twitch. He’s way more than that. I hope that you would accept my apology and be willing to help me through this.

With Love and Deepest Regrets,
Demonic

P.S. If you want to contact me off of Twitch, my email is demonicchihuahua@gmail.com I trust that you won’t spam it or share it with anyone without my permission first.  But it’s probably actually the better way of emailing me.

Talismannn 16 minutes ago
Demon.  See this right here is the problem.  Everything is always about your.  Your well being, your wants, your needs.  You ask me to give you an entire log of every mistaken you have ever made which then tells me you have never taken notice once of the multiple requests and warnings you have already been given.  Do you honestly think I have even more time to spend writing you an entire log on this?

Every time someone says something to you whether it be by mail or chat you pull the whole 'emotional wreck' thing.  That is paramount to emotional blackmail to the mods and the streamers.  WE can no be held responsible for your state of mind while you are in that chat room.  Neither can we expect others in the chat to continue to tiptoe around you in case you decide to go off on one in there.

You were warned multiple times, I chatted with you only a few days ago, and yet once again you do exactly the same thing.

You get overly attached to streamers and they can not move for you,  I've had two other streamers (not Banana) who have actually said they would not be overly surprised to see you outside their window starting in one day.   The streamers are entertainers, they are not your long lost family who is there to deal with every hiccup you have personally.  They have chat rooms full of viewers who are also wanting attention and if they did this with every single viewer they would spend 24 hours a day dealing with mails and drama from the chat room.

I have repeatedly said in the chat room 'leave the drama outside'.  and yet it comes in.  It kills the chat room, and make me have to work 10x harder to get the chat back on track again.   Last night that chat room turn from good natured to downright flat trolling at the drop of a hat and for the first time in YEARS I had to walk away and take a break so I did not ban everyone.   I then come back and the FIRST thing I see is once again Demon is ghost modding the chat room rather than letting us try settle it down.  Banana was seriously peeved at how fast the chat room turned on him and it showed, it ruined his stream and I spent 2 hours this morning pretty much going through logs with him so we could find out what the hell happened in there.   Tuber started it, little would not let it drop, and with you ghost modding it was not allowed to drop.  Rather than helping the situation you in fact made it worse.

I am also constantly being called into chat rooms by my name being dropped, and 90% of the time its you,  That is there for the streamers to use on the whole in case they need me for some reason.  It was a joke to start with and was used to the point where now it is just downright irratating.    In Ice's chat you undermined me by assuming I was not there and shouting my name to 'summon me' to come do my job.  I was fully aware of what was going on in there and was only ever a temp mod to help him out in case he was raided.   The issue with his chat room has now cause bad blood on his side and you will notice that I no longer lurk in there now as I once again got tired of being 'summoned' to do a job that I in fact only agreed to do on a short term basis to help out.

I can not and will not spend more time on this Demon.  I mod chats for 14 - 16 hours a day, from 2pm up until around 6am every day. and that is if one of the streamers is not on to overlap times.   I am busy, and can not be responsible for every single person in every single chat room as you seem to think I can.

Please also do NOT start sending mails like this to Banana or other streamers either.  They can also not be held responsible for your emotional wellbeing, they are not therapists either.

Regards
Tali.