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- 1/4
- >Early summer.
- >Working in your prize winning backyard garden.
- >Mowing the grass.
- >Trimming the hedges.
- >Hear something rustle the bushes.
- >Bird? Hobo? Squirrel?
- >No. Goddamn fluffy ponies again.
- >You had a problem with these little shits last autumn.
- >Got into your yard, shit all over the place, dug up tulip bulbs.
- >Cost you $200 to have fluffy pony removal service get rid of them.
- >notthistime.jpg
- >Herd of 16 adult fluffies, 5 foals, enters your yard.
- >They don't even acknowledge you.
- >Fluffies go straight for your flowers.
- >"Yay!" "Good nummies!" "Smawty-fwiend find foodies!"
- "HEY! You little shit-rats stay away from those!"
- >Biggest of the group turns and snorts.
- >"Deeze fwuffy fwowers! Fwuffies find fiwst! Hooman find own nummies!"
- "I grew them, idiot...this is my yard."
- >Smarty friend will not budge. Puffs up cheeks, stomps ground with hooves.
- >"Hooman go 'way! Deeze fwuffy nummies!"
- >Definantly eats one of your poppies.
- "Big mistake, fluff-ball."
- 2/4
- >Snatch up Smarty Freind.
- >"Whhhaaaahhh! Hewp fwuffy...hooman meanie!"
- >Toss smarty friend in empty fertilizer bin.
- >Dash around herd, snatch up every foal.
- >Even yank the babies off their shrieking mothers' teats.
- "Time for a demonstration, fluff balls."
- >Set captured foals down in a bucket.
- >They're crying and defecating all over themselves.
- >Ugh...gonna have to scrub that bucket out with bleach.
- >Adult fluffies are crying and protesting.
- >"Gif back babees!" "Gif Smawty-Fwiend back!" "Dun huwt babees!"
- >Open up grill propane valve.
- >Dial gas jets to 11.
- "This is the FIRE PLACE!"
- >Ignite grill. Huge fireball as soon as you open lid.
- >Fluffy ponies scream & cower before you.
- >Like you were Oz the Great & Fucking Powerful.
- >Bawling fluffies peeing and pooping in fear.
- >Shut off gas.
- >Put foals on the grill.
- >Ugh...gonna have to clean the grill with bleach.
- "If any fluffy disobeys me, the babies will burn!"
- >"Nuuu!" "Pwease don' buwn babees!" "Gif babees back to mummies!"
- "I WILL burn the babies if you disobey me!"
- >All fluffies, adults and babies cry in terror.
- >First, get a hammer and long framing nail.
- >Grab mane; yank Smarty-Friend out of the bin.
- "This fluffy disobeyed me and ate my flower. He will be punished!"
- >Smarty friend is wailing and kicking his legs.
- >Herd tries to save him. "Pwease...no huwt smawty fwiend!"
- >Walk to a tree.
- "Every fluffy must watch. If any fluffy looks away during punishment, the babies will burn."
- >Terrified fluffy ponies huddle around.
- >Pin whimpering Smarty Friend against the tree.
- >Herd watching in terror.
- 3/4
- >Whimpering Smarty Friend pinned to tree.
- >Standing upright, hooves just one centimeter from touching the ground.
- >Line up nail.
- >Hammer straight thru Smarty Friend's horn.
- >Bloodcurdling scream from fluffy.
- >Thrashing every muscle in his tiny body to escape.
- >Herd goes into full panic.
- "WATCH! If any fluffy runs away or doesn't look, the babies burn."
- >Continue hammering.
- >Smarty Friend is now nailed to the tree by his horn.
- >Horrendously painful for fluffy.
- >Twists and writhes in agony, making it worse.
- >Leave him...turn to the herd.
- "Now you fluffies have to clean up your mess!"
- >Fluffy herd is confused.
- >Point out all their droppings.
- "I want all this crap cleaned up, NOW!"
- >Terrified fluffy ponies scramble to do your bidding.
- >Of course, they're awful at any work.
- >Can't figure out how to clean up their own waste.
- "Want me to burn your babies?"
- >"Pwease nu!" "Don' huwt babees!" "How cwean poopies?" "Dun know! Whhaaahh!"
- >Fluffy ponies eventually pick up turds in their mouths and carry them to bushes.
- >Good fertilizer for bushes.
- "Don't forget your flithy hoof-prints on my grass."
- >That's too much for fluffies to figure out.
- >Show them how to do it.
- >Bigger fluffies roll smaller fluffies across lawn.
- >Wipe up shit smears with fluff.
- >Much whimpering and crying is heard.
- 4/4
- 1 week later.
- >Garden looks better than ever.
- >Fluffy slaves work 18 hours a day.
- >It doesn't matter that they suck at work.
- >Fluffies just have to work non-stop until the job is done.
- >Done to your satisfaction.
- >Playing is forbidden.
- >Huggies severely limited.
- >Fluffy ponies sleep in a pen...allowed to have their babies at night.
- >During the day, babies stay in the FIRE PLACE.
- >Mommas allowed 15 minutes of nursing once every two hours.
- >Then back to work.
- >Smarty Friend lasted 2 days nailed to tree.
- >Moaning and crying until he died.
- >Leave his drying corpse up there as a reminder.
- >Fluffies must work all day.
- >Eating weeds.
- >Trimming grass.
- >Digging in flower bed.
- >No fluffy may eat flowers or they join their leader, nailed to the tree.
- >Pooping is only allowed in approved areas.
- >Sorry stick is used when work is unsatisfactory.
- Hold Garden Party.
- >Fluffy slaves carry drink trays & hors d'oeuvres on their backs.
- >City Garden Club loves your work.
- >Garden wins Blue Ribbon.
- >Everyone in town begins capturing fluffy ponies as garden slaves.
- >City fluffy pony problem is solved.
- Continued in Part 2: http://pastebin.com/HrVfawuE
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