a little ramble

Alone in that little apartment, Midnight was left to stare at her own navel, metaphorically. Fluff-stuff was out doing werewolf things and Thunderpants and Sugartits were here asleep still. She had no idea if it was close to sunset or not, she couldn't see it. She hoped it was, though. These two here, they were a big part of her support system now, alongside the rest. Maybe even just a little moreso, being her girlfriend and girlfriend's teacher guy kinda. She didn't know what he was in the whole dynamic, just that he'd helped her out with something she thought she'd never get fixed, and that even though they got off on the wrong foot, she had gotten to feeling a fondness for him.

She sighed in their general direction and sort of draped on them. They wouldn't mind, probably, if they woke up.

“Y'know, I really gotta hand it to you.” A sort of medium awareness told her she was beginning a monologue, but she didn't care. “You really know how to make a girl wanna keep livin'. The both of you. I known you for... a lot of years, and you been a fixture in my life. And you... hell, you gave me back mobility. That's somethin' I haven't had in a real long time... y'know you can't help feelin' like you like someone for that.”

She wondered if they could hear her, but she didn't necessarily care. She needed to let it out. “I gotta admit, that first night... fuck, was I scared. Maybe I was gonna lose her. But... fuck, it's been alright. Better than alright. And here I thought just havin' a girlfriend was gonna give the old fuckers a stroke if they ever heard... heh... is that too much? Maybe. I know you still got heart-burn for your sire. Don't let me get up in your grill if you still got that goin' on. Less you want me to. I dunno, you do you. I just wanna get this shit off my chest while I got your ears. Kinda. You know what I mean.

“Spent a long time wishin' I could be one of you. Still do. I don't wanna die. I don't care how 'long and fulfilling' I live. It ain't long enough. I'll get old. I'll shrivel up. And then you're gonna take me out, and they'll say how cute it is that you're takin' your grandma out. Maybe you could call a fleshcrafter but... that ain't gonna keep me young. Maybe in looks, but not in body. I'm still gonna die eventually. I know you guys aren't big on the whole reincarnation thing, but... I certainly hope I'm gonna get to run into you guys again after that... but that's gonna take a long-ass time. And I don't wanna put you through me dyin'. It's hell to have to watch. I'd know, I had to do it. Heh... maybe some of those fuckin' wizards have got somethin'. Mages are insane, y'know. You'll be the first to know if I ever find some miracle-workin' immortality mage.

“I still wish I could share... hell, a lot of the stuff you do. I hear feedin' actually feels pretty good. I'd love to know. You need a blood bank, I'd be your girl. I heard drinkin' your blood's a hell of a rush even for you. Enough to be addictin' to us mortal schmoes. I'd love to be able to try it. I don't even care about the bond. Shit, I'd willingly bond myself to... either of you, really. Can you do both? I would do both. Wouldn't that be a hell of a three-way.

“Gotta admit, though, it's a three-way I'd love to have. It's gonna sound self-centered but, hell. Think I got too many emotions for one person to handle. Or even two people. I dump this shit on Marine like she's a landfill and I'm the trash man. Guess I did eat garbage most of my life, huh. It's a lot of why I don't wanna bother her too much... don't get me wrong. She's basically my mom now. She's a saint for puttin' up with the kinda bullshit I used to pull when I was tryin' not to get attached. But I don't wanna stress her out. She's great, she doesn't need to go havin' coronaries 'cause of me.

“Maybe it's stupid. Maybe it sounds like I got a rushin' problem. But... fuck. You're a rad guy, just as rad as she is. Fuck, if she trusts you, so do I. You been real neat to talk to. Heh... I don't even know what I'm tryin' to say to either of you. Anya already knows I love her. They say always overuse the words 'I love you' and hell, I'd believe that. I don't think I can say it enough. I guess, what I'm tryin' to say to you, too, is... well... if you were ever up... I'd really... like...-”

“What... what are you... talking about.”

“Oh, uh... mornin', Thunderpants. How uh... how long have you been listenin'.”